Misguided Mistake
by writealot
Summary: Mistaking chance for 'Fate', Hermione attempts to save Dumbledore. Instead, she ends up twenty years too far back! Can Hermione survive Hogwarts when the Marauders were in their prime? Of course! Can she do it without destroying the future? Er...maybe.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the story formerly called "It Started With a Note"**

**Disclaimer: As usual nothing in the Harry Potter wizarding world is mine. It all belongs to Ms. JKR.**

**Chapter 1**

_ "I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now." -Sophia Loren_

The white door of the sunny room eased open and a short girl had to squint her hazel eyes as sunlight streamed through her bedroom window. She dragged a large trunk behind her which thumped on the thickly carpeted floor. She heaved a sigh of relief when it dropped from her sore hands. The pretty girl had unruly hair which she impatiently brushed out of her face and inspected the room she hadn't seen since Easter holiday. Dust floated around her from dumping her trunk and settled across her flowery bedspread. The quilt was a little frilly for her taste but she hadn't felt the need to change it since she was ten. She spent too much time away from home for it to be necessary.

The walls were a pleasant light blue color that calmed her fragmented nerves. The room was simple with lacey curtains and wood furniture but, if not for the bed, it could've been a library. Perfectly organized books were stacked neatly in the bookcases that lined the room and Hermione breathed in the smell of parchment and ink that her room had possessed since she was five and had learned to read and write.

Hermione collapsed on her bed which creaked in protest from her lithe form. Her childhood seemed to pulsate from the very walls and Hermione snatched a teddy bear that lay close to her head and buried her nose into its plush body. Reminding her sadly of when she was younger and things had not always been about the encroaching war and good vs. evil. Her mood dampened from this sobering thought Hermione pushed the bear away and rolled onto her back to glare at the high ceiling furiously. Summer sunlight streamed in through the sheer white curtains and landed on her profile, leaving half her fuming face in shadow.

A large ugly cat entered the sunny room and jumped up on the bed next to Hermione. Its fur was soft despite the poor thing's ugly face and Hermione closed her eyes as Crookshanks rubbed against her. Crookshanks curled around her elbow and Hermione absently rubbed the unsightly cat's head. It purred and pushed its furry body into her side but Hermione dropped her thin hand. Her forehead furrowed in desperation she rubbed crossly at the moisture that pooled in her wide eyes. Grumbling, the fat cat leaped from the bed and exited in a huff. Its tail pointed toward the ceiling and twitching in agitation. But Hermione was still brooding about the bleak future that lay before her and everyone she loved.

I _can't believe I'm not going back_.

The tears continued to threaten to spill down her pink cheeks so she pushed this thought away. True, she loved Hogwarts and considered it her real home almost as much as Harry did but some things were more important, especially when the world she lived in was on the brink of war. Her thoughts went back to her last day at the castle as she had glanced back before entering the scarlet train with hot steam coiling above it. Realizing that it would be her last glimpse of Hogwarts for a long time. Harry had been behind her on the stairs and had also looked back to see the dark turret of the astronomy tower silhouetted in the setting sun. His mouth set in grim determination; he had gently touched her elbow to encourage her to continue. Sitting in their own compartment, Harry tried to persuade Hermione and Ron to go back to school, but she knew that if she didn't help Harry defeat Voldemort, there wouldn't be a Hogwarts to go back to. Besides, she would never let Harry go through this alone, as friends they had all been through too much together already.

_Just this one last thing and Harry can have a normal life, I'm sure of it. We'll get rid of these horcruxes and Harry can be freed from that prophesy._

Imagining Harry, without the pained look on his face when he received another vision from Voldemort, or Harry laughing gaily as they walked through the halls of Hogwarts dried her tears. Yes, some things were definitely more important.

Her chest was filled with ice as she recalled the ancient books tucked away in her trunk.

_Dumbledore had wanted Harry to have them, or he wouldn't have made it so easy to reach them._

Hermione reassured herself of this as she sat up and stretched her aching limbs. She'd been sitting still for a quite some time and she needed to get started on unpacking her trunk. Resigned, she stood and moved toward the heavy trunk in the center of her room. Its bindings clicked as she drew it open and glanced at the chaos inside. Once she had seized Dumbledore's books…

_borrowed…_

-she had thrown her own possessions haphazardly into the trunk. The brunette began making neat piles of clothes, books and school supplies until she'd reached the bottom and the books on Horcruxes. Doubt nagged her, her heart beat furiously as she reached down and touched the first book. Something gold glinted out of the corner of her eye, in the back of her trunk but Hermione ignored it. Cold spread from the book's cover up her arm and Hermione shivered. She plucked the manuscript from the trunk with her thumb and forefinger and set it gingerly on her carpet. The yellowed pages and antique bindings of the book looked strange next to something as modern as her rug. Despite the fact that she had dropped the book cold trailed up her arm and spine and she resented having to touch the other two books. Her hands became slick with sweat and she strained herself just thinking of touching the dark magical objects.

Once she'd picked the final tome up and threw it on top of the other two, something gold flicked across the room. It arched elegantly, but too quickly for Hermione to see what it was, across her room and slid under her dresser. Annoyed, she realized whatever it was must have been, had been attached to the book and when she'd thrown the book down it had been released. Her knees popped as she stood to investigate the object under her dresser. Dust came up in puffs around her and her irritation at her mum for not vacuuming grew. Her curls tumbled around her shoulders as she knelt down again and looked for something shining in the inky blackness. Through the haze of dust she thought she saw another flash of gold and she reached out with her slim wrist for the object and the direction she'd seen the flash of gold. Her fingers grazed a long ice cold chain and in a sudden flash of recognition Hermione realized what it had to be.

"Oh no—" Hermione cursed. Her hand clamped around the chain and she dragged it out if the darkness to reveal her Time-Turner. "Ugh. I can't believe I didn't give this to McGonagall!"

Typically, Hermione would use the Time-Turner for school and then return it to McGonagall at the end of the term. But with the fuss of Snape's flight and Dumbledore's funeral she must have forgotten. Furious with her lack of care Hermione rubbed her fingers over the cold chain and tried to imagine what she should do next. Hermione doubted McGonagall would be too upset with her considering the circumst-

"OF COURSE!" She screamed so loud she could hear her parents muttering downstairs but they were used to her eureka moments. She muttered to herself as she began to pace the room.

"Could go back….. Save Dumbledore…. But then how many turns does it need to be... How long ago was the battle...? Oh geez it feels like years… maybe ten twists….oh I don't know!" Her muttering grew incessantly incoherent as thoughts began streaming in and ideas and plans began to take form. If Ron or Harry had been there they would have yelled at her to explain her thought process by now, they were used to her "a-ha" moments as well. Hermione held the Time Turner to her chest. What she was thinking was insane, completely illegal. She stopped and held the Time Turner in front of her face. Sunlight gleamed on the polished gold surface and rainbows danced on the floor when the sun hit the glass hourglass.

No. As long as Hermione had been attending Hogwarts, running into more dangers than any other student before, meeting the people she had, there was one thing she had learned, some things were meant to be.

_Things happen for a reason…_

It was completely unusual of her to have forgotten to give McGonagall the Time Turner… She was _meant _to have it. She was meant to use it to go back in time. Break the law. Save Dumbledore. Yes. Then he could help Harry with this insane task of finding and destroying the Horcruxes. The impossible task no longer in the hands of children…

Curiously no fear chilled her blood, but doubt did. Hermione was the type of witch who felt the intense need to be right, to always know the answer, but this… If she was wrong…

Hermione's fingers brushed the metal of the Time Turner's chain as she pulled it down around her head and her hair was tugged with it. With quaking hands she untangled a lock of hair from the chain and it fell around her neck. It's cold metal absorbing the heat from her body. Shutting her eyes, she felt her eyelashes tickle her cheeks and she ignored the lump in her throat. Everything would be fine so long as Harry was saved.

_I'll need to go back to Hogwarts….After all, that's where the battle was._

Breath escaped Hermione's lips as she released the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. She was breaking plenty of laws but once Dumbledore was alive again he could help her come up with a way to avoid capture. She was going on the run with Harry and Ron anyways.

_Maybe I should tell them. _

Her fingers let go of the chain and she fluttered to her sides, she bit her lip and tried to think of a way to tell Harry and Ron where she was going.

_There's no time, I'll lose my nerve if I don't do it now. And I'd have to wait for them to write first anyways._

Plus the Ministry would surely fall any day now…. Then Hermione realized she would have to Obliviate her parent's memories earlier than she thought. Hermione's resolve cracked but she knew it was the right thing to do. She could almost feel adrenaline kicking in, coursing through her pounding heart and racing to her extremities.

_I'll have to be quick; I might be being watched by Death Eaters or even the Ministry, since I'm friends with Harry._

Quickly she picked up a few extra pair of robes from the pile she'd neatly stacked earlier. Their course fabric brushed her bare arm and she scanned the room for a bag. Absently her hand traced the Gryffindor symbol on the breast of her robes until she remembered the traveling shoulder bag under her bed. She pulled things out of her way across her floor and pulled the canvas bag out. She tried to think of what she might need but the adrenaline was making her jumpy and she ended up circling the room before only putting the robes in the bag. Leaving behind everything but her wand, Hermione ducked through her bedroom door. Again, the idea of communicating with Harry and Ron tugged at her brain as her foot touched the top step of her staircase. But she could never get the hang of a Patronus let alone make it send messages like she'd read about.

Hermione went back into her room wrote out a letter addressed to Harry and laid it on the desk. The ink still wet she sprinted from the room, kicking over a pile of books on the way out. If something went wrong, Harry might come looking for her and find the note and room in disarray, hopefully he would be thinking rationally. Satisfied but still unsure, Hermione trailed her hand against the walls as she found her way to her parents sitting in the living room, watching the telly. She wanted to call to them, to alert them that she was there, to see their faces again. Her father's silly grin and mum's sweet eyes gazing back at her, inviting her to sit and watch with them. But she resisted and moisture pooled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks in fast drips. They spilled down to her chin and landed on her wand arm that she raised slowly and Hermione felt a pain well up in her chest. Without looking back at her, Hermione's mother called over her shoulder.

"Hermione? Are you alright up there?" Her mum's gentle voice reached Hermione sucked in a breath. The smell of mint toothpaste and rubber gloves, like a dentist's office filled her nose. The same smell that always reminded her of her parents and home. They didn't know she was standing right behind them. The pain that had started in her chest spread through her body until it entered her brain, numbing her.

"Obliviate." Hermione whispered, the word passed her lips but her parents didn't turn to ask her what she was doing, sneaking up on them. Instead their heads slumped and their vacant eyes closed and she sucked in great heaving sobs as her mum's head fell on her father's shoulder. Her steps were heavy as she forced herself to look away from them and retreat to her front door. She flicked her wand as she passed her bedroom door, locking her it magically so they couldn't enter when they awoke. Then she was in the front room, eyes blank as she banged her front door open and the smell of honeysuckles and lavenders attacked her. Unseeing, she stared around at her mum's bright yellow and calming purple flowers in their front garden. Then she Disapparated with a pop on her front step. None of the neighbors even blinked.

O

O

O

She stumbled when she landed in front of the Three Broomsticks. Her show caught on a stone in the street and she almost fell to her knees but she managed to regain her balance and stand straight. She brushed tears from her eyes slowly. They burned but she looked curiously up and down the deserted town. It was unnerving to see all the shops and bars vacated, she'd always come to Hogsmeade with her classmates and it was always bustling with people, but in the summer there was no one around. A piece of paper blew gently in the wind across the street and Hermione nodded sadly. No one would know she'd arrived, maybe if she was lucky it would stay that way.

Her footsteps echoed loudly as she sprinted but still not a soul looked out on the street. The silence was throbbing in her ears and she fisted her white, shaking hands. While she ran she considered, Harry had said that Malfoy had let the Death Eaters in through the Room of Requirement. Something about a Vanishing Cabinet, she couldn't remember exactly. Her mind was still back in her parent's living room. What were they doing now, probably buying tickets to Australia? But Hermione needed to get her head straight, think of what to do next.

_I'll just use the Room as a place to hide while I travel back in time. No one will see me in there. Then maybe I can follow the Death Eaters to the astronomy tower and find a way to stop them._

When she reached the gate of Hogwarts at last, she stared up at the rising turrets and the windows burning with candlelight. When she'd left, she'd been sure she would not see the castle for a very long time, and yet here it was. Stoic and unchanging as she was sure it had been when the founder's built it. Water trailed down her cheeks again, originating at her eyes but she made no move to brush them away. Elation filled her breast but she pushed this away and pulled the gate open. She winced as it clanged and scrapped open until she could squeeze through and make her way across the grounds. She took a glance at Hagrid's hut, the lights all on and smoke rising from the chimney. In a fit of madness she considered going to visit but she still had a long way to go before she reached the Room of Requirement.

When she entered the front hall she passed the glasses full of the house points without a glance and only paused a moment to look into the Great Hall. Candles flickered above the empty house tables, but the emptiness was unsettling as she warily looked around the castle. Finally she began climbing the stairs and making her way down corridors. She wished she had Harry's Map so she wouldn't have to stop and look around every corner, she never saw anyone but she was sure that there were teachers here during holidays sometimes, and the ghosts of course, and worst of all would have been Peeves. But she finally arrived at the blank wall where the Room was hidden without running into anyone.

_I need a place to hide, somewhere where no wizard can find me__._

She paced in front of the blank wall three times and on the final turn crossed her arms. A door appeared and she stepped through it. Her parents still loomed in the back of her mind as she entered the final part of her plan. Would they ever forgive her? To distract herself she studied what the room had interrupted her request as. A fire roared in a large fireplace across the large room and she felt pleasantly warm. The antique sofa, with red cushions and wooden legs looked very inviting and she wished she could stay there, if only to rest for a moment. Then she noticed a stack of books next to the couch and she sighed in contentment. Slowly, she made her way across the high ceilinged room to the sofa. When she reached it, she rubbed her hand on the soft fabric of its cushions and shut her eyes.

_Some things are more important. _

Angry with herself, Hermione dropped her hand from the couch and snatched the Time-Turner from underneath her blouse. It flashed in the firelight and Hermione closed her eyes to mutter a silent prayer. "I hope I'm doing the right thing."

She brought the time turner up to eye level and her bright hazel eyes studied its complex beauty. An hour glass sat in a ring of gold and black sand slowly fell, resembling time.

Her slim fingers left her side and began to twist the fragile object of magic. She'd tried to figure out how many times she would need to turn it while she'd been walking from Hogsmeade and she was positive it was ten times.

_One-Two-_

_If you screw this up-_

_Four-Five-_

_Don't lose count-_

_Seven-Eight-_

Hermione bit her lip until it stung. She could fling the Time-Turner away now. Forget about changing the present. But something pushed her, and she knew it was the same driving force that had brought her to obliviate her parent's memories and to make her way to this castle and turn the Time-Turner nine times. All she needed was the courage to turn once more. Her fingers itched and she gritted her teeth.

_You're a Gryffindor aren't you?_ But is anything really that simple?

_Ten._

Hermione dropped her hand and watched the time turner continue to spin on its own. It started out slow and deliberate but it began to spin faster and faster, as did the room. Then there was a loud pop and Hermione looked up in shock to see Dobby standing in front of her. His tennis ball green eyes widened at the witch who was standing in front of him. But he also noticed she was shimmering, like a ghost, her form twitching in and out of focus and slowly fading.

Hermione cursed and held out her hands to shield the elf away from her. She'd completely forgotten about the house elves in the castle, she'd only asked the Room for sanctuary from wizards.

"What is Harry Potter's friend doing here?" Dobby's mountain of knitted hats teetered as he took a step toward her. Still jumpy and frightened, Hermione leapt away from the small elf. But as she moved her hand brushed the Time Turner, which turned again and again without Hermione even noticing.

The objects in the room, the fireplace, the sofa began to dance in front of her eyes and shift out of her peripheral vision. The more she tried to concentrate on them, the more they disappeared and she groaned. The room became a blur and Dobby was gone, but Hermione felt she was going to throw up, everything was spinning out of control, time travel had never felt so sickening before. Stepping away from Dobby, she suddenly couldn't move her limbs at all; her hands were stuck at an awkward angle in front of her, her feet in the process of tripping over themselves. She was suspended in midair and she braced herself for when the room would stop spinning and she would hit the ground.

Everything froze and pain shot up Hermione's elbows and kneecaps. There was a shattering of glass and in horror Hermione pulled the broken Time Turner out from under her body. Glass fell in pieces to the floor under her arm and one shard nicked her finger. The blood turned an acidy red and she sucked in a breath that smelled metallic. Her head pounded and she touched her temple gingerly. She groaned as another zing of pain almost split open the side of her head.

_Now I know how Harry's scar feels. _She thought feebly.

She was concerned she was going to be sick but the feeling passed when she stopped trying to move. In her fit she'd dropped the Time-Turner, her hands were splayed on the floor in front of her and she clutched them into fists to distract her from the pain in her head. With disgust she realized her hands were scratched from the glass and she'd left blotchy stains of blood across the white carpet. Her hands ached as used them to stand up. Her whole body ached and vaguely she wondered what was wrong with her. She was moving terribly slow. She needed to find out the date and what time it was so she could make a plan but nausea made her freeze again and clutch her stomach. She had read that there were side effects if you traveled too far into the past, but two weeks wasn't that far back, was it?

_I need to get to Dumbledore._

Hermione sat up and got her bearings, she was still clutching her wand and her shoulder bag was heavy against her collarbone. Then she stood and removed the broken Time Turner from her neck, it was completely useless. She was close to fainting and she had to lean against the couch to remain upright. She looked around and noted the room still looked the same as in her own time, with the couch and books, but now there was the addition of broken glass all over the floor, her blood staining the carpet, and no Dobby. So the Room wasn't affected by time travel she noted thoughtfully. After a moment she left the Room of Requirement, her hands leaving the doorknobs sticky with red blood. She felt stupid for forgetting about the house elves, wasn't she the one fighting for Elf equality? As she shut the door behind her she froze. She could have sworn she'd heard a whisper. Death Eaters? Her heart beat traitorously against her chest and she feared they could hear her a mile away. She perked her ears, listening intently. Hermione drew her wand and glanced up and down the brightly lit corridor. Then she heard them again.

"Shut up I think I see someone."

"I've never seen her around before."

"Look she's in Gryffindor."

"How do you know?"

"The robes, stupid."

"She looks drunk."

"Don't step on my foot!"

The voices were quiet but she believed there were four of them, and they all sounded male. How were there invisible people in Hogwarts? And they didn't sound like Death Eaters.

"Hello?" Hermione clasped her hands in front of her and drew in her elbows; if they were Death Eaters she would already be dead. This thought almost calmed her, but still her heart was pounding blood to her ears. "Who's there?" No answer. But now she could feel their presence, it wasn't exactly that she could see them, she just had a feeling they were there. Directly in front of her under that candle, she stared at that spot; sure that was where they were hiding from her.

Her breath caught in her throat and she anxiously twisted her wand in her slick hands. She still felt disorientated and sick. If she was attacked, there would be nothing she could do against an invisible attacker. There was no other explanation for it; the only person she knew with an invisibility cloak was Harry. But he would've recognized her. "Potter?" She prayed that it wasn't him under the Cloak; it could be very bad if he saw her. What if her own past self was under the Cloak with him? She shivered in distress and her knees knocked together.

Then there was a swish of the air and four boys stood in front of her. She nearly fell over from shock and her heart skipped several beats. "Holy shit!" She couldn't help but scream and grasp her shirt in fright. Embarrassingly enough, she realized it wasn't Harry, and her fingers loosened but she stared in disbelief. She knew what her eyes were seeing but they must be deceiving her, because what she saw was impossible. She gaped at the four men standing in front her, appraising her.

One of them was the spitting image of Harry, the glasses, dark messy hair but his stance was different, arrogant, and his eyes were a chocolaty brown behind the glasses. The boy on his left was incredibly handsome, he had long black hair and a strong jaw and wide grey eyes, which looked Hermione up and down, not with distain, like Malfoy sometimes did, but in curiosity. The boy to the right of the Harry doppelganger was ragged but handsome in his own way. He had short brown hair and a few scars on his arms and even face; she noticed one scar came down through his eyebrow, cutting it in half above his light blue eyes which also looked confused, but not unkind. The last boy wasn't handsome at all, he was fat and squat and hid behind the three other boys and looked at Hermione in terror with rat-like features, and she noticed his watery blue eyes. There was no one else these four boys could be, but the Marauders.

"Bloody hell! How did you know?" That was James, he was staring at Hermione in disbelieve. He looked so remarkably like Harry it was a shock to see him there, but the way he raised his eyebrow, even the way he cocked his head and studied her over his glasses was so unlike Harry. The confusing state of it all was making her head pound incessantly. Hermione was close to having a heart attack she was freaking out so much in her head, what the hell had happened? For all four of these people to be standing here, alive, meant that she'd gone back at least twenty years.

She ignored Harr— James question and stepped closer to them to get a better look. Her feet shuffled across the rug; nervously she brushed her hair out of her eyes and met each of theirs. Seeing James was so unbelievable, her chest ached and tears filled her eyes, some of the emotion going through her must have shown on her face because James looked uncomfortable. Then she met Sirius' grey eyes and warmth filled her chest, this was the first time she'd seen him in a year and excitement and joy were overbearing. She beamed at Remus who gave her a confused smile back; as if certain he was standing in front of an insane person. Hermione couldn't bring herself to look at Peter, he would ruin the moment and her heart would be filled with disgust and the desire to throttle him.

This brought Hermione to a realization though; even in her half disorientated mind Hermione knew she had destroyed everything. The future she knew could unravel at any moment if she said or did anything wrong. She hung her head and staggered slightly. There was a bit of shouting around her but she drowned this out, thinking only one thing. She'd royally fucked up.

The thought of Harry and all the hard work he'd done, trying to take down Voldemort, Dumbledore's death, could all be for nothing if she messed this up. Harry would have given anything to be standing in front of the Marauder's in this moment, in their prime but Hermione knew she was in danger. She needed to be careful or she could change the future forever.

"Hey! She has blood on her shirt." Remus said in disbelief. He moved forward as if to grab a hold of her. His eyes widened and Hermione looked up into his blue eyes. Blue eyes that reminded her that she needed to see someone, speak to someone.

"Dumbledore." Hermione felt herself begin to cry. The room swayed, or maybe she had swayed, she was unsure. "I need to see Dumbledore." She choked out but the room began to tilt still farther and she fell to her knees. Pain was making her head throb and throb and she wanted to bang her head on a wall. The boys had all dropped to their knees in a circle around her, all talking and unsure what to do. She wanted to tell them to shut up but then everything became dark and she fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me in anyway whatsoever.**

**Chapter 2**

_"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." - Kevin Arnold_**  
**

A strange girl lay on the seventh floor corridor's floor near the Marauder's knees, covered in her own blood. Her curls splayed out in a swooping halo. Remus studied the blood on her shirt more carefully, it wasn't actually soaking through her shirt and only resembled a handprint; her hands were covered in the warm red liquid.

"What should we do?" Peter reached out and twisted her wrist to reveal her palms scratched and still bleeding.

Sirius gently plucked a sliver of glass from one of the cuts which bled more fiercely. "Know any healing spells?" They looked at one another hopefully but all sighed and looked back at the pretty girl.

"Pomfrey gave me a bottle of Essence of Dittany so I wouldn't have to keep asking for it." Remus remembered and pulled out his school bag and scrambled around in the mess. He began to worry that he didn't have any after all when the coolness of glass met his fingertips and he pulled the vial out with a sigh of relief.

James directed Sirius and Peter to get the rest of the glass from her hands and reached out for the Dittany. "Here Moony." Remus handed him the fragile vial. Peter and Sirius finished dropping the shards of glass at her sides and looked up to James at the same moment.

Anxiously the boys watched as James placed a single drop on each of her palms, they began to heal immediately, the flesh stitching together before their eyes. The girl's head rolled to one side and her right hand twitched but other than this she didn't move.

"Well, let's get her to Dumbledore." James announced once her hands were fully healed.

"And how exactly are we going to do that Prongs?" Remus scoffed, eyeing the unconscious girl.

"You're going to carry her of course." James said matter of fact-ly as he stood and dusted off his knees.

"W-w-what?" Remus sputtered and Sirius barked with laughter at his red face. The werewolf's eyes glared at his long haired friend.

"Come now Moony! Where's your Gryffindor chivalry? Besides," James pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose with his index finger. "you're the only one here with super human werewolf strength." He patted Remus on the back then handed Sirius the map. "Make sure no one's coming will you?" Sirius followed James direction with no question .

"Says here her name's Hermione. Hermione Granger." Sirius had the map close to his face, studying the five dots on the seventh floor, clustered together.

"Never heard of her." Remus grumbled as his hands shifted under the girl's shoulder blades and knees. Peter helped him adjust the girl's weight. Her head thumped against Remus' chest and he watched her eyelashes flutter on her white cheeks but never open. But he did have to admit she wasn't heavy in the slightest.

When James saw that Hermione was safe they moved down the hall together. Sirius leading the way, the map held firmly in his hands.

O

O

O

There was a soft, steady pounding in her left ear. For a while it was the only thing she did feel conscious of. Then she noticed the scratching of a robe on her cheek and the stinging in her hands was gone. Hermione's eyes began to flutter open. She was lying on her back staring up at the ceiling and four worried faces. "She's awake." Peter said and no one else had anything to add.

Her eyes shot open when she remembered where she was and was surprised to find herself in someone's arms. She pushed herself out of them and tried to stand. But the moment her feet touched the ground she began to fall backwards. Two people grabbed her arms and steadied her. She teetered for a moment then looked around. Her eyes were adjusting to the light and she could see she was standing outside Dumbledore's office the gargoyle was once again stock still.

"We don't know the password." Remus was looking at Hermione, as if worried she was going to fall again.

"We thought you might know." Sirius shrugged but was looking at her hopefully.

Hermione looked at the gargoyle, unsure what to do. It was unnerving to be so confused. Normally she had the answer to everything. She felt lightheaded and wished she could find a sofa or bed to lie down on. "Harry said they had something to do with candy usually." Her head hurt a lot but at least she could talk.

"Candy?" Remus said in amusement. But Hermione didn't find anything funny at the moment; she glared at Remus in annoyance.

"Well then how about…. Lemon drops?" Sirius said. The gargoyle didn't move. James laughed and Sirius glared at his friend. "You try then, if you think you're so smart and you know Dumbledore's favorite candy."

"Alright then." James said, a little arrogantly Hermione couldn't help but notice, and stepped up to the gargoyle. "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean." The gargoyle still refused to move.

Remus glanced at the girl next to him, she looked pale as a ghost and had dark circles under her eyes. With his friends preoccupied he wondered if he should talk to her. Try to make her feel more welcome. Should he ask her about the cuts that had been all over her hands?

Sirius laughed at James and they proceeded to argue playfully. While they bickered Remus turned to Hermione. "By the way, what is your name?" Hermione froze; could she tell them her name? In the future they might remember her and it could be a disaster.

Sirius and James had heard Remus over their fighting and also turned to look at her. "Are you new?" James had stopped fighting with Sirius for a moment and was also looking at her eagerly.

"Where are you from?" Sirius supplied.

Hermione was unsure what to do; she needed to ask Dumbledore what the best course of action was but if they were stuck out here in the hall… "Well I-" A searing pain shot through her head and everything was going in and out of focus. She could feel herself drop to her knees but hardly noticed the sharp jab. It was nothing compared to the pain in her head.

Hermione couldn't see anything but she could hear the boys talking around her.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Hangover. Definitely."

"I'm not drunk." She barely managed to say it but the moment she did she wished she hadn't. Her head hurt even more now.

"Should we take her to the hospitable wing?"

"We could get in trouble if we went to the hospitable wing. It's past curfew." Peter reminded Remus.

"We could get in just as much trouble with Dumbledore." James pointed out and they all looked at Hermione expectantly.

"I'll be fine. I need to see Dumbledore." She ignored them giving each other wary looks and stared at the gargoyle. As she got to her feet again she had an idea, she wasn't sure what made her think of it but she was reminded of her friend from elementary school's favorite candy. She'd never been allowed to eat candy because her parents were dentists but Jane had loved... "Charleston chew?" The gargoyle leapt to the side with no hesitation and Hermione was elated but confused. What a weird coincidence. She hadn't really spoken to Jane since going to Hogwarts. Curiously she wondered what had become of her.

"What the hell is a Charleston Chew?" James asked. Everyone but Remus was staring at her like she'd grown two extra heads.

"It's a muggle candy Har-James."Hermione said absently, she'd almost said Harry. Geez she needed to be more careful. She didn't notice the raised eyebrows of the boys around her. She made a move to jump on the revolving staircase.

"Wait a minute!" Remus was looking at her in distrust and had stopped her from jumping on the moving staircase. "How did you know his name?" Hermione bit her lip and looked between all the boys who looked shocked and angry as the same realization hit the rest of them.

"W-w-well I— Well you're the Marauders aren't you." She gestured to them and Sirius and James smirked at each other. "Everyone knows you…" She trailed off and watched them warily. Sirius and James had given each other high fives and Peter was grinning idiotically. Remus looked unsure and Hermione knew why. "That doesn't mean that I approve of your rule-breaking of course." Then she pushed past them and entered the staircase. Remus smiled slightly and they all followed her.

They all stepped onto the moving staircase which slowly brought them to the large wooden door. No one moved to knock and Hermione rolled her eyes as she stepped past the nervous boys and knocked firmly. "Come in." Dumbledore called. When the door opened Hermione wasn't sure what to expect. Dumbledore was sitting peacefully at his desk. He was much younger looking than how Hermione remembered him. In front of him was his pensieve. He looked up in surprise and when he saw all these student's entering his office so late at night, he stood. "What's going on? Misters Potter, Black, Lupin and," he paused for a second, like he had forgotten. "Pettigrew?" Then he noticed Hermione and he looked even more astonished. "Who's this?" The light in his blue eyes twinkled as he gave Hermione a polite smile.

Hermione took a deep breath to steady herself then stepped up to Dumbledore's office. Now that she'd broken the Time Turner the only person that could help her get home, was Dumbledore. Throwing caution to the wind Hermione decided to give Dumbledore the truth. "My name is Hermione Granger, sir." She brushed some of her hair out of her face then glanced at the boys standing behind her. All of them looked curious but still confused. Hermione pulled out the wrecked Time Turner from her pocket and laid it on Dumbledore's desk. She was too terrified to glance at anyone's faces. "I'm from the future. I came here by some slip-up and now I have no way to get home." She heard someone gasp behind her but she ignored it. She was close to tears but she wouldn't cry. "Please say you can help me." Finally she looked at Dumbledore, whatever he was feeling Hermione had no idea, he was unreadable.

"Wait, did I hear you right? Did you say _future_?" Sirius looked from Hermione to Dumbledore then back to Hermione. "This is all a sick joke right? Any second I'm going to wake up in my bed. Right, sir?"

Dumbledore looked amused. "Actually no, Sirius. I believe Ms. Granger is quite serious." He stared into all their scared faces. "I think it would be best if all of you went to bed except Miss Granger here." He looked knowingly at Hermione then waited for all of the others to leave. Remus was the last and he looked over his shoulder at Hermione's hunched shoulders. He felt sorry for her; during her plea for help he couldn't help but notice she'd been on the verge of tears the whole time.

Dumbledore moved the pensieve to the side of his desk and made his fingers into a steeple. He was observing Hermione over his hands for a long time before he finally sighed and laid them flat on his desk. "Do you actually expect me to believe you're from the future?" he knew he could perform Occulmency and discover the truth, but he was always hesitant to use his great skills without need.

Hermione had been anticipating this question and she hung her head. "I can't expect you to do anything sir. But let me prove to you that I am."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and shook his head but didn't say that she couldn't, so Hermione took a deep breath and tried to think of something that would prove she was from the future, but wouldn't change the future by giving Dumbledore the information. "There's a student here…. Severus Snape?"

"Yes?" Dumbledore raised his eyebrows but didn't stop her.

"He'll be the potion's master and Head of Slytherin house."

"Mr. Snape is an excellent potioneer…." He didn't seem impressed and Hermione knew she'd have to say more.

"Remus is a werewolf. James has an Invisibility Cloak. Sirius left home only this summer." Hermione didn't say anything about Peter or that they were all animagus.

"You have a lot to say only about them… do you know them in the future?"

"Yes sir." It was only partly true; she knew all of them except James.

"This could be very dangerous." Dumbledore stood up again and began to pace his office. When he passed Fawkes he pet its head absently. He was looking a bit peaky, on the verge of bursting into flame.

"So you believe me?" Hermione felt elated. She was very close to leaving her worst mistake behind.

"Yes but now we have to figure out a way to get you home." He sat back at his desk and picked up the broken Time Turner.

"You mean…" Hermione felt her elation subside and give way to panic. "You don't know how to help me?"

"Well it will be a simple matter of getting another Time Turner. We'll send a request to the Ministry and you'll probably have a new one in a few months."

"Months?" Hermione squeaked but Dumbledore ignored this.

"What is really worrying is the side effects of your time travel. How far back did you say you went?" Dumbledore asked innocently but Hermione remembered in horror what she had read about the side effects of using a Time Turner. Usually an hour or two had none; the wearer could even go back a year or two with only a few minor headaches. But twenty years was unheard of.

The furthest anyone had tried to go back was one wizard who had traveled back ten years. His family never saw him again because he had gone back and as time passed, he had lost his memory of ever traveling, or even his future life. He'd gone on with his life in the past until he came full circle to his own time and met his own family and had tried to kill them, the experience of seeing another one of himself had driven him insane. Hermione gulped and tugged at her old robes and looked at Dumbledore in horror. "Twenty years." It came out barely above a whisper but Dumbledore heard her and tried to not show his panic.

"Oh dear. This is most disturbing. What was your purpose in traveling, was it really so urgent?" Hermione didn't answer but let her head fall into her hands. She was such a fool, trying to change the past. Hadn't McGonagall told her there were consequences for messing with time? How could she have possibly believed she could change Dumbledore's fate?

Seeing her distress Dumbledore was at a loss for words. He had a feeling she knew that her memories would slowly begin to fade and she would become accustomed to life in this time.

O

O

O

Dumbledore escorted Hermione to the Gryffindor common room; it was close to two in the morning, Dumbledore decided they had done enough for one night. She had explained as much as she could, but Dumbledore knew she must be in pain, worried about the fact that she might lose herself in this time.

"I'll have McGonagall set up your class schedule; you'll repeat your sixth year so you can finish school in your own time." Dumbledore stopped in front of the portrait of the fat lady and waited patiently for Hermione to answer.

Hermione didn't contradict him. She wouldn't actually be going to school next year. "Yes. That's fine."

"Good. Now the password is Bubotubers." The fat lady mumbled, still half asleep, she swung open. "Good luck Hermione." He walked off and Hermione stepped through the portrait.

When she stumbled through she looked up and saw James, Sirius, Remus and Peter seated on the floor by the fire. They all looked up when she came through the portrait and gave her winning smiles. She was struck again by the similarities between Harry and James. The glasses and unkept hair, she couldn't help but smile back at them.

"You waited for me?" She felt oddly pleased that they had cared enough. They barely knew her and yet they were all sitting there by the fire in the wee hours of the morning.

"Of course we did." Remus said in concern. The scar on his eyebrow wrinkled as he furrowed his brow and Hermione wondered where he'd gotten that one.

"We had to know everything! I mean- the future! That's so cool!" Sirius was almost jumping up and down around the room. She smiled again, this Sirius was so…different, from the older one she knew. Of course, this Sirius hadn't been in Azkaban for twelve years, it wasn't really a wonder he was so much more carefree.

"You have to tell us our futures!" James added and Hermione panicked. That was the _last_ thing she wanted to do.

"Of course she can't tell us the future you idiots!" Remus sounded bemused but also angry. Hermione was exhausted and couldn't help but laugh at their bickering. Then she choked and she was surprised to find herself crying.

"I don't think she likes us much." Sirius joked. He was trying to lighten the awkward moment.

Hermione decided to smile again. "Sorry it's just that..." She bit her lip in indecision. It was so strange, she knew these men... boys, but not really. She shook her head and gave them her best smile. "I wish Harry was here to see this." Hermione sighed.

"Your boyfriend?" Sirius joked. Hermione was appreciating his shenanigans more and more. He really wasn't that arrogant underneath the façade. He just wanted the people around him to be cheerful. She laughed.

"Boyfriend?" Remus asked as he rolled his eyes and smacked Sirius upside the head.

"Harry is a nice name. Perfect for a kid." James smiled. Hermione watched Peter as the boys continued to joke. He didn't talk much but stared at James, Sirius and even Remus with admiration. Some tiny part of her felt a little sorry for the rat-like boy but mostly she felt disgust and hatred build in her chest when she looked at his watery eyes. He clearly liked his friends very much, she wondered what had changed. She'd keep an eye on him.

"Oh you're thinking you're going to marry Lily again aren't you?" Sirius teased James. While Hermione had an insane desire to laugh. But instead she yawned.

"I'm going to bed." She tried to say over their argument but she went unnoticed up the stairs to the girl's common room.

O

O

O

Harry paced up and down and suppressed the urge to throw Hedwig's cage across the room. The owl wasn't in it, but was supposed to be flying back from sending Hermione and Ron their respective letters.

The moment Harry had returned home, he had begun to compose letters to his best friends, hoping to start formulating a plan for what was to happen at the end of the summer. A week later Ron had replied in turn but Hermione had not. It was strange to Harry who was used to Hermione's immediate reply to every one of his letters before. This would be his second letter to her and if she didn't reply he was going to have to check up on her. Between Dumbledore's death and Snape betraying the Order, he couldn't be sure if Hermione or Ron were ever safe. Suddenly there was a tapping at his window and he rushed to let Hedwig into the room. She wasn't carrying anything with her.

Harry slammed his hand into his desk and Hedwig jumped and gave Harry a hoot of protest.

"Sorry." He muttered and collapsed on his untidy bed.

There was a loud pop and Harry leapt from the bed in astonishment, drawing his wand at the same instant. But when he turned around he tucked it back into his robes and gave Dobby a half hearted smile.

"Hello Dobby."

"Hello Mr. Potter sir. Dobby came as soon as he could. But he has been busy at Hogwarts." Dobby bowed low and his hats almost fell to the floor. Still bowing Dobby continued. "Dobby has news of Harry Potter's friend for Mr. Potter, sir."

"My friend?" Harry couldn't help but panic, did he mean Hermione?

"Yes sir. One week ago Dobby went to clean the Room of Requirement and when he entered, Ms. Hermione Granger was already there. It is summer holidays when most students are gone, sir, so Dobby was confused."

"Hermione was at Hogwarts? Why?" Harry couldn't help but think that he was just as confused as the poor elf.

"Dobby doesn't know sir. But when Dobby wanted to ask Ms. Hermione why she was there, she disappeared."

"You mean she Disapparated?"

"No one can Apparate in Hogwarts sir."

"Right right." Harry muttered in annoyance. Hermione was gone and she had somehow Disapparated in Hogwarts? Or disappeared? Harry ran his hand through his hair and tried to figure out this puzzle. "Thank you Dobby, for telling me." He remembered to add and Dobby bowed even deeper in reply and then Disapparated.

Harry went to his desk and found a quill and parchment and sent a letter to the only father figure he had left in his life, Remus Lupin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine it belongs to JKR. But you already knew that. **

**Chapter 3**

_"I worked so hard for that first kiss_

_And a heart don't forget something like that_

_Like an old photograph_

_Time can make a feeling fade_

_But the memory of a first love_

_Never fades away." -Tim McGraw_

Hermione woke to find two girls looking down at her. She sat up in embarrassment and attempted to tame her frizzy bed head by brushing her fingers through it. "H-h-hello." She tried to say but she was too self-conscious.

It didn't help that one of the girls was incredibly beautiful. She had dark red hair and pink cheeks. She smiled kindly but curiously at Hermione's mortification. Hermione had to suppress her gasp when she saw the girl's light green eyes. "Hi. I'm Lily."

The other girl gave Hermione a small wave. "I'm Alice." She was pretty but still had a lot of baby fat. Her eyes were hazel and she had short brown hair. Something was familiar about her but Hermione couldn't pinpoint it.

"Are you new?" Lily was speaking kindly but was unsure what to make of a stranger that started here in their sixth year.

"Er… yes?... Yes, yes I'm new." Hermione needed to think fast. "I've been going to school in America and now my family's moved to England, you see. So I had to start at Hogwarts." She looked between the two girl's faces but they didn't seem suspicious of her lie.

"That's cool. What's America like?" Alice perked up and Hermione blushed. She was definitely caught now. She had absolutely no idea what America was like.

"I-I was kind of teased a lot there, the accent. I don't really want to talk about it." Hermione jumped from the bed and ran into the bathroom. She hurried to get washed up and de-frizz her hair. It was semi-decent looking and she couldn't help but notice that big hair was kind of in-style in this time. Maybe she wouldn't stick out as much. As she exited the bathroom she froze. Lily and Alice were waiting for her.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have prodded you for information. I mean we don't even know your name. Sometimes I talk too much." Alice was bright red and looked very sorry.

Hermione smiled back. "It's alright…I'm Hermione." She'd never had very good girl friends, except for Jane. Maybe she could make more of an effort here.

"Did you want to come down to breakfast with us, Hermione?" Lily asked her, trying out the kind of weird name, but remaining polite to her.

"Sure."

O

O

O

When they had sat down at the Gryffindor table Hermione couldn't help but admire the general splendor. She thought she would've been used to it by now but the amount of food and the beautiful ceiling still awed her. Lily and Alice were very nice to her. Harry had gained a lot of traits from his mother and although he probably wouldn't believe her, Harry had more traits from his mother than father.

Alice couldn't stop talking about her new boyfriend, Hermione usually found this sort of thing annoying, which was why she had mostly guy friends, but Alice was very sweet and modest about the whole thing.

"There's Frank!" She gushed as a boy with dark hair walked into the great hall, spotted Alice and headed over to them.

Hermione choked on a piece of toast and Lily hit her back until she could breathe again.

_Alice and Frank? As in Alice and Frank Longbottom? Neville's parents?_

Hermione couldn't believe this. Two of her friends parents in one day? Frank sat next to Alice and they immediately became lost in their own world. They obviously loved each other, or were headed in that direction. She was happy for them, but wondered why Neville lived with his grandmother. She'd never really thought about it.

Suddenly Hermione was jostled into Lily as someone sat next to her. "Hello there Hermione!" Lily glared over Hermione at Sirius who didn't seem to notice. James sat across from Sirius and Peter sat next to him. Remus was on the other side of Sirius. The Marauders were never far from each other.

_Oh my gosh. If they say anything about my being from the future—_

She somehow needed to communicate to them that they couldn't say anything.

"How do you know them?" Lily hissed into her ear and Hermione blushed.

"I sort of ran into them last night. They helped me find Dumbledore." Lily looked furious that she had to sit so close to James and Sirius.

"So what's your first class?" James asked Hermione but he never took his eyes off Lily, who stubbornly ignored him.

"Well I haven't talked to McGonagall yet."

"Ms. Granger?" Hermione turned around in surprise and gave a happy smile to her favorite teacher. McGonagall looked a little taken aback, but smiled kindly back. "Here's your schedule."

"Perfect timing Professor!" Sirius reached up as if to give McGonagall a high five but she simply looked at his hand in confusion.

"Right... Good day Ms. Granger, Mr. Black." She nodded at everyone around them and then headed to the teacher's table.

"You got to love McGonagall." Sirius went back to his cereal and Lily huffed in disapproval. Hermione smiled so that Lily wouldn't notice and read her schedule. It was standard, almost the exact same workload that Harry and Ron had received their sixth year.

"Looks like I've got Potions first."

"You're with me then." Lily said and gave Hermione an encouraging smile.

"And us." James added and smiled, but not at Hermione.

"You can bet Snape will be there. Winning entertainment value, I'd say." Sirius couldn't help but pronounce and Lily almost bore holes into the side of his head from her death glare.

Hermione almost passed out. "Snape?" She could hardly believe it, she would be seeing one of her professors as a student, Remus didn't really count for some reason, the very same professor that had killed Dumbledore.

But Sirius misunderstood her. "Yes, rather unfortunate name isn't it. Not as good as his first of course."

In unison James and Sirius hissed. "Snivellus." And burst into hearty guffaws.

Lily stood, almost knocking her cereal bowl over and ran from the great hall. James called after her between bouts of laughing fits and Hermione stood to follow her. Noticing she was leaving the Marauders all stood and followed her out as well.

"Are you following me?" She muttered as they joined her in climbing down the staircase that led to the dungeons.

"We have the same class." Remus reminded her and Hermione blushed. Remus was frozen for a second but managed to get his feet moving again. Besides her crazy hair, Hermione was very pretty when she was embarrassed.

"Hey keep up Remus, even Peter here is beating you!" Sirius teased from his position next to Hermione and Remus picked up his feet.

"Listen guys." Hermione glanced around, there was no one about so maybe now would be her only chance. "Don't mention the whole, my being from the future thing. It could be very bad if too many people knew."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Sirius said as he draped an arm around her shoulders. She pushed it off but smiled to herself.

O

O

O

1997:

Remus reread Harry's letter to him for the fifth time. There was something about it that was bothering him. It was like trying to remember a dream, every time he thought he remembered, it would slip away like sand in a strainer.

_Dear Remus,_

_I might be overreacting, but I think something has happened to Hermione. Dobby came to me and said that she was in Hogwarts only a week ago and that she disappeared before he could ask what she was doing there. She hasn't answered any of my letters and I'm concerned that something horrible has happened. I don't know if it's too much to ask but could you go to her home and make sure she's alright?_

_With Gratitude,_

_Harry_

He knew Harry's instincts were abnormally correct and it concerned him that he believed his friend missing.

_And Hermione wouldn't disappear without just cause and not tell her friends._

He wasn't sure what made him think this. It wasn't as if she knew Hermione personally except for the year he had taught at Hogwarts, but he knew what he had thought, was true. Remus took Harry's letter and stuffed it into his robes. Even though it was a full moon tonight he could quickly go to Hermione's home and inquire about her and return to the woods in time. He put on a traveling cloak and exited his study and entered his family's kitchen. His parent's had died a few years ago and had left him their modest house. Tonks was attempting to cook and he smiled when she cursed as ingredients missed the pot and began to fly around the kitchen. He came up behind his fiancé and hugged her. She visibly relaxed and sighed.

"I'll never get these damn household charms right." Her hair turned a dark shade of blue and Remus chuckled and brushed it out of her face.

"It's not that big of a deal." He waved his wand and the ingredients floated back to the pot and plopped in one by one. "I have to leave anyways."

Tonks glanced at the calendar and noticed the red circle around today's date. "Yes. Of course." She gave Remus a sad smile and he kissed her on the cheek before leaving.

O

O

O

Still 1997:

Remus Apparated into Hermione's muggle neighborhood and approached her house with caution. If Harry was right and she was in danger, Death Eaters could be anywhere. He stepped up to the front door and knocked. There was no answer and he frowned at the wilting pot of flowers on the porch the grass was also yellow and he wondered when was the last time anyone had watered them.

A simple Alohamora spell opened the door and Remus stepped through. It was pitch dark inside and he lit his wand. He glanced around and was shocked; there was no furniture or anything whatsoever to suggest that someone lived here. Paintings were missing from the walls, appliances from the kitchen; Remus toured the whole house and couldn't find a single thing.

What had happened here?

Finally he came to a door on the second floor that was locked magically. He tried a few charms before it shuttered open and he entered the only furnished room in the house. The fading light of the sun gave the room a light orange tint. The walls were light blue, her daisy bed perfectly made, her books in neat piles or arranged alphabetically on her shelves. It was as if Hermione had never left. But dust came up in puffs from the floor as he walked across the floor and studied the perfectly organized room. Then he noticed an envelope on the desk and he crossed the room and picked it up.

It was addressed to Harry but something was nagging at him to open it, something in the back of his mind. He slowly cut away at the seal and pulled out the single sheet of paper.

_Dear Harry,_ it read.

_I'm not sure what you're going to do, because if you're reading this something has gone wrong._

Remus sucked in a breath and continued.

_I've used my Time Turner to go back and save Dumbledore, it's the only thing I could think of to help us on our quest and I hope you'll understand my reasoning. _

_Of course, if you're reading this, and I hope you never do, something has gone wrong with my time travel, especially if Dumbledore is still dead._

Remus couldn't read anymore, a realization had struck him with such force that he staggered and dropped the letter to the dusty floor. He grabbed hold of Hermione's chair and grabbed his head to stop the pain, but with each throb of pain, memories were flowing back into his brain. The first one had come when he read that Hermione had used the Time Turner and now they were coming back to him faster and faster, all of them memories of Hermione…twenty years ago. Hermione stepping from the Room of Requirement and his first glimpse at her, carrying Hermione to Dumbledore's office and her pushing him away with her small arms. But the memories didn't stop there. There were months and months of them, and every single one contained Hermione. Suddenly the pain stopped but now Remus was left with all the memories that he was never supposed to have and he wanted to throw something. His anger at Dumbledore for taking his memories of Hermione was immense and he picked up Hermione's chair and threw it at the wall above her bed. Wood shattered and crashed, then fell to the floor. He stood gasping for breath in Hermione's room and he couldn't help but remember all that time he had spent with her his sixth year, before she had…

He had to get away from here, to the only place that he had ever felt happy, himself. He sprinted out of Hermione's room and Diapparated into the Shrieking Shack. But it wasn't enough, even though he had many happy memories with his friends in this house, he'd felt the most alive in the Forbidden Forest where he wasn't confined to a single space. Where he could sprint around and cause mayhem with his friends who had all left him. He was the last Marauder left. He didn't even want to think about what had happened between Hermione and himself. The pain of it hit him so hard he let out a howl of anguish. He needed the relief of the forest tonight.

Pain of the transformation began to shake through his body and he quickly headed down the tunnel, praying he would make it to the forest in time. He hadn't taken any potion to ease his transformation, and based on the state he was in, he knew if he didn't get far enough away he might hurt someone. He came out of the tunnel at the base of the Whomping Willow and ran to the forest as fast as he could. The tree took a swing at him but he ducked and managed to only stumble over one root before he was running over open ground to the trees.

He reached them but had to stop, his joints were aching with the Change and pain was rocking him. He howled again, it sounded less like a man and more like a feral wolf, before he fell to his knees. He crawled further into the trees until he changed completely and ran and ran for the rest of the night.

O

O

O

At the sound of the angry howl, a lone, tiny figure glanced out of the Gryffindor common room's window and noticed the man staggering into the woods, then falling to his knees. The tiny elf gave a squeak of surprise and Dissaparated with a loud pop out of the castle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the world he lives in, JKR does. I'm just writing this story for my own entertainment.**

**Chapter 4**

Hermione stopped the Marauders before they reached the potions classroom. They were deep in Hogwart's dungeons and there was no one around. "I'm serious here. No talking about the future." Hermione wasn't sure if they were taking her sincerely enough. She made sure they all were nodding in understanding before she was satisfied. Remus was last and she gave him the tiniest of smiles when he promised her he'd keep his trap shut. "I know you guys are good at secrets, so I'm not too worried." She glanced pointedly at Remus.

"Wait what!" James looked a little excited. "You know about Remus being-" Remus had cut James off by literally jumping on him and covering his mouth.

"Oh I think I know all your secrets." She couldn't help but tease them. After all, it was pretty clear 90% of the population of Hogwarts thought the Marauders were the greatest thing since the invention of wands. Maybe she could knock them down a few pegs.

"I don't know about all of them." Sirius smirked and met James' eye. They laughed in unison but Hermione wasn't fazed.

"Really Padfoot?" Hermione looked at her nails for effect. "How _does_ it feel to have a tail?" Sirius gaped at her and Hermione laughed at his silly expression. She tapped his jaw with her fingers so he'd shut his mouth. "See… I know you three are illegal animagi, and I should turn you into McGonagall." The boys glanced at each other guiltily. "And believe me I would," She crossed her arms over her chest and gave them her best McGonagall glare. "if Remus didn't need you during full moons so much." And before Hermione could control her emotional girly side she gave Remus a big hug.

Remus felt embarrassed at first, Hermione's bushy hair was in his face and mouth and he hardly knew her. He wasn't sure whether he should hug her back, where to put his hands. To make it worse, he noticed she smelled like strawberries and mint. His cheeks flushed bright red.

"I know how much they mean to you."

He could barely hear her over his own thoughts but he managed to say, "Yes, thanks." Then she pushed him away and quickly wiped her cheeks but his friends were all staring at his red face and leering wickedly.

"Anyways, we should go to class or we'll be late." James, Sirius and Peter all looked back to Hermione and agreed with her, nodding innocently. As if they hadn't just been the biggest bunch of gits a few seconds ago.

_The manipulative little—_

"Come on Remus." Remus looked down and realized Hermione's hand was on his arm. She was so small standing next to him; his shoulders were taller than the top of her head.

"Uh, sure."

Together the group of five traversed the last hallway before the potions classroom. Hermione pushed through the heavy wood door first and glanced around the room. She immediately saw Lily, who was stubbornly ignoring her, then noticed she was sitting at Snape's table. This was Hermione's first glimpse of Snape as a student and felt horrible, (especially with her own hair troubles) when she saw his hair was even greasier than it would be in the future. Just like everyone had said it was. He had a blissfully happy look on his face, which had to be the weirdest thing Hermione had seen since going into the past.

She heard Sirius laugh behind her, "What'd I tell you! Snivellus follows us everywhere." He said it so most of the class heard him and giggled. But Hermione moved to sit next to Lily; she was disgusted with Sirius and her own bad attitude. This isn't what she had expected from the man that killed Dumbledore, or would kill Dumbledore. She was confusing herself. She'd been expecting an evil, spiteful, git but in all honesty, this sixteen year old Snape was a little pathetic. Hermione knew that this boy was not the same person she knew, maybe something had happened that made him snap. But for now, Hermione needed to push aside her preconceived ideas and accept Snape, the same way she'd needed to be accepted her first year, when she'd had no friends until Harry and Ron. Couldn't she extend then same friendly hand to this boy?

"Where's Alice?" Hermione tried to break the ice with Lily but she still looked angry. Hermione sighed when Lily didn't respond and set her empty bag down. The Marauders sat an empty table together and were whispering conspiratorially to each other, making the rest of the room wish they were at that table, in on the secret. Hermione's table was the only one ignorant of the Marauder's pull.

Hermione had to push her bangs out of her eyes again; they kept falling into her eyes. But it wasn't nearly as annoying as the fact that she had no school supplies, it hadn't really been the first thing on her mind last night, but now that she would be here for awhile, she'd need to talk to Dumbledore. "Hello." She'd been dreading it but she had to talk to Snape or run the risk of being rude. "I'm Hermione." She gave Snape a half-smile and met his black suspicious eyes. She hoped he wouldn't disregard her since she'd walked in with the Marauders.

"I'm Severus. From Slytherin. And you're in Gryffindor?" His voice was a little higher than she used to. Besides that he seemed unchanged, maybe less angry and threatening. But before Hermione could answer him, Slughorn swaggered into the room. He wasn't as heavy and large as Hermione knew him but his belly was growing quite impressive.

Hermione sat up and put on her classroom game face. This was her element, where good luck, charm and looks didn't matter and Hermione could have her chance to shine. Before Slughorn had even started lecturing, Hermione's hand was up.

"Yes… I'm afraid I don't know your name."

"It's Hermione. I'm new and I don't have any supplies-"

He waved her off, "Everything's in the supply closet, take what you need." While Hermione went to the closet, Slughorn began his lecture full of his usual grandeur and drama. Hermione picked up a beat up sixth year book and some writing supplies. The book was an older edition then the one Hermione had and her fingers itched to open it. This reaction was typical for Hermione, whose desire to learn anything and everything drove her.

When Slughorn had finished speaking everyone began talking and getting their supplies to start the potion. "Here." Hermione started and looked over at Lily who was holding out her cauldron. "I know it's supposed to be partners but I don't think Professor Slughorn will mind if we're a group."

Hermione sighed in relief; Lily wasn't ignoring her anymore. She joined Snape and Lily in looking at their books for the potions recipe. Soon the room was full of vapors and the sound of boiling liquid. Snape was very talented at potion making and was barely looking at the recipe to create a perfect potion. But where Snape was excelling Hermione couldn't help but notice James struggling on the other side of the room.

"No James, you have to stir counterclockwise!" She heard Remus yell and there was a flash of light. When the smoke cleared James and Remus were covered in green slime.

"Oh dear!" Slughorn shuffled over to them and stared at the huge mess the boys had made. It wasn't a dangerous potion but the green color was staining the floor and the boy's robes. Slughorn glared at them. "It clearly says counterclockwise in the notes you two." Remus looked at James in exasperation then shook his head.

When Slughorn walked away Moony and Prongs began to pick up their spilled potion. "Why are you so distracted today James?" Moony scrubbed a few specks that had landed on his potion's book as he talked to Prongs.

"I'm not." James muttered but Remus noticed him glance over at Lily and Snape who were laughing over a stewing potion. Hermione had gone to the supply closet for the final ingredients. Remus didn't say anything to this and continued to scrub.

O

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It was the end of class and Slughorn was going around inspecting everyone's potions. When he came to Hermione, Snape and Lily's potion he was overjoyed. "Absolutely perfect!" There were a few grumbles, especially from James and Sirius. "Next time I'll have to separate you three. The three most brilliant in my class shouldn't be together ALL the time." Slughorn walked off leaving Snape looking horrified but Hermione shrugged. She hadn't done much of the work since she'd learned all of this previously, instead she'd allowed Lily and Snape the chance but Snape was a genius at potions, previous study or not.

The class packed up their things and began shuffling to the door one by one. Lily walked with Hermione and Snape followed Lily but soon the Marauders had also caught up to them. When they left the class and Slughorn, James turned to glare at Snape. "Bet you enjoyed that, didn't you Snivellus."

Snape sneered and glanced at Lily. "Of course."

Lily rolled her eyes and sped walked away from them, including Hermione, who was left with the fighting boys.

"What was that Snivellus?" Sirius stopped in front of Snape so he was forced to stop walking down the hall. Hermione began to panic, as much as she didn't like Snape this was obviously bullying.

"Hey now. Stop that." Hermione swallowed and looked between Snape, Sirius and James. Snape snorted and pushed past Hermione, Padfoot and Prongs.

Once Snape had vanished around the corner Sirius turned on Hermione. "He's a complete prat! You don't have to stick up for him Hermione." Sirius said and sulked.

Hermione felt uncomfortable. They hardly seemed bothered that they had just tried to duel someone. "I know he's not a very pleasant person."Sirius snorted and Hermione grew angry. "But you can't just start stuff for no reason!" She glared at Sirius. The more she yelled the easier it was to imagine Sirius and James as Harry and Ron. "Honestly!" She glared at James. "And you're the worst!" James turned bright red and held his hands up in surrender.

"Blimey Hermione I-"

"If I ever see you trying to duel Snape again, well I might just have to-to-to-"

There was a sudden outburst of laughter and Hermione spun around to stare at Remus and Sirius who were bent in half, unable to stand they were laughing so hard. "The-the-the worst!" Remus had tears rolling down his cheeks. "Oh mate." More laughter. "She just told you!"

James was still red but he smiled slightly at Hermione. "You might be the only one who's told me off besides Lily."

Annoyed Hermione adjusted her shoulder bag and glared at Sirius and Remus, and now Peter who had joined in. "Serves you right!" Then she whirled and huffed down the hall and up the dungeon stairs.

Of course they all saw each other again in Charms for their next class. Snape was missing but Lily was seated with Alice. Hermione sat next to Lily and avoided the eyes of the Marauders who were smiling at her. They were so weird; they dueled for no reason and thought it was funny when they got yelled at.

_Reminds me of the Weasley twins._

Through class Hermione noticed Lily's obvious gift in Charms—

_That's where Harry gets it._

And James was yelled at by Professor Gunderson at least six times during the whole class for talking.

_And that too…_

Hermione had always felt the need to show off in class but now that she didn't know anyone (and she was certain she was quite brilliant) the need was dying, so she relaxed and let herself have fun. She refused to take notes, (she'd already learned this stuff anyways) and she forced herself to not answer a single one of the teacher's questions. It felt strange but Hermione knew she'd always been off putting because of her dedication to schoolwork and hard work, now she could see the merit in relaxing. Stress was melting off her shoulders and the headache she'd had since yelling at James was disappearing.

_Now I know how to lose my stress, yelling at idiots and not taking any notes. Now that I'm not so tense, maybe I can relax and make some friends. _

She glanced at the Marauders and caught Sirius' eye. He smiled at her brilliantly and winked, Hermione huffed and looked back at Lily before he could see her angry flush and mistake it for a blush.

O

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"I can't stand him!" Hermione listened in silence as Lily ranted. She was pacing in front of the fire in the Gryffindor's common room.

"Who?" Hermione asked innocently as she put the last paragraph on the paper she was writing for Charms.

"Haven't you been listening? James!" Lily was red faced now and gesturing wildly. "He drives me up the wall!"

Hermione tried not to smile, Harry and Ron made her feel the same way sometimes. "Well some boys mature slower than others." She shrugged.

"It's not a matter of maturity. He's a complete idiot!"

Hermione put down her quill and raised an eyebrow at Lily. "That seems a little harsh." Hermione looked over at Alice who was seated in the red chair next to Hermione's. It bothered her that Lily was so hostile to James. At this rate they would never get to together and have her very best friend.

"Why does he have to be so mean to Severus then?" Lily had stopped and was glaring at Hermione. She liked this girl, but she was very level headed, which was just serving to rile her up even more.

"Severus?" Hermione was surprised. "That's why you hate James?"

"She's been friends with Snape since before Hogwarts." Alice supplied.

Hermione almost collapsed. Harry's mother was Snape's friend? Was this some alternate universe she'd entered? She'd thought Lily was just being polite, sitting with Snape. But now that she thought of it, it would explain Snape's animosity to Harry in the future.

"But I think you shouldn't lead him on." Alice scolded Lily. Hermione froze. Lead Snape on?

"I don't!" Lily looked offended.

This information was scaring Hermione. She'd always felt there was something deeper to Snape's hatred of Harry. Most kids that were bullied eventually moved on from their school days but Snape hadn't. In fact he'd grown more and more angry with Harry, saying he was just like James. She'd forgotten he'd never mention Harry's mother.

_Because he loved Lily. But then why would he serve Voldemort, who killed her? Or will kill her…._

Hermione grabbed her essay and quill. "I'm going to dinner. Want to come?" Alice and Lily looked at Hermione in surprise.

"Well I still have a lot to write…." Alice spoke softly but glared at the half written essay in her hand.

"And I haven't even started." Lily agreed and looked at Hermione sadly. "Sorry Hermione. We'll see you later okay?" She looked calmed down but Hermione could only give Lily a small smile before running to her room to put her essay away.

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Hermione sat in the Great Hall by herself and shuffled her turkey around. She couldn't concentrate with the information about Snape still bouncing around in her head. Something had to be done, if James and Lily never got together, and from what she'd seen it didn't look like they ever would, the future would get all screwed up.

_I have to get them together._

She'd have to be subtle or Lily would definitely catch on, but it would give her something to do.

Hermione noticed James then; he was glaring at his turkey, looking almost as troubled as she did.

_Perfect._

"What is it?" She asked across the table.

James looked up then gave her a half smile. "To be honest, I'm not the best of students." He explained. "Remus helps out but Sirius is even worse off than me. I don't think I'll be able to pass without help."Hermione remembered the disaster that had been that morning's potions class.

_Poor James._

Hermione smiled, this was perfect. "I'll help you!" James looked up hopefully.

"Really? You've taken these classes before?"

"And passed with full marks!" James looked so relieved she thought of Ron again. She suddenly felt homesick. "I'll help you every day with homework. Starting today."

_I need to try harder to be James' friend. If I go back and I don't have anything to tell Harry about his father he'll be so angry with me!_

She could just imagine it. Her telling Harry and Ron about going into the past, Harry would be mad she'd put herself in danger and Ron would think it was funny she had messed up so badly. Then she would tell she'd met Harry's parents but didn't really speak with them. Harry's angry face swam into her head and she tried not to laugh out loud.

_I wish you were here._ _Harry. Ron._ The thought made her somber.

James moved down and they ate dinner together, and then headed up to the common room to grab James' homework. "I was dreading it, so I put off that Charms essay." Hermione thought of Ron and rolled her eyes. Luckily Lily wasn't in the common room and didn't see them together. Once James had come back from his room with his things they went to the library and found a table in the back.

They'd been working for a long time, James occasionally asking questions and Hermione giving him the answer. Other than these exchanges they were silent. Hermione was unsure how to talk to him about Lily; little did she know that James was dying to ask her about the same thing.

"Hermione?" James looked at her.

"Mmm." She nodded but still looked at her homework.

"You're a girl right?"

Hermione had heard this before. "Yes, I am." Ron came back into her head and she had to suppress a smile.

James seemed to struggle with this. "Could you help me, get Lily to like me?"

Hermione was relieved. But she couldn't be too eager. She was silent, wondering how to go about this.

"Right." James said suddenly and quickly went back to homework, but slower than before.

She'd been too slow. "Okay." Hermione smiled, "But you have to do me a favor."

James jumped up and gave Hermione a huge hug. "Thank God! Really Hermione you must have been sent here by some angel!"

Hermione leaned forward, inspired. "Can I call you Harry?"

James looked at her so confused that Hermione laughed. "Uh- okay." was all he said, and they got to work. Hermione knew that Lily didn't like James because he was too immature. So she told this to him outright.

"I suggest," Hermione studied him for awhile, "that you don't tease Snape while she's around. Or ever." She thought to add for good measure.

"Well then what do I do?"

He looked so eager. Hermione stood and walked up to him. He was even the same height as Harry, "So similar, how is it even possible?" She reached up and touched his face. James looked confused now. His forehead crinkled, _just without the scar_.

"Are you talking about the Harry fellow?"

Hermione gave him a sad smile now."Yeah."

"Do you miss your boyfriend?"

"He's not my-"

"Why do I look so much like him?"

She thought for a long time. It would be alright if she just told him he had a son right? Nothing else? "Well I suspect it's because he's your son." She smirked at his shocked expression.

"Wow! I have a son!" James looked deliriously happy. "A son!" Now he looked frightened, "But who am I married to?" He looked at Hermione and she smiled at his scared look.

"Well you've only ever liked one person haven't you!" She couldn't help it. His face was just too much like Harry's and too cute.

James yelped and danced around the table. Hermione laughed and suddenly he was right in her face. "This is amazing! Is this why you're helping me?"

"Sure."

"Wow. And he has such a cute girlfriend." James looked Hermione up and down and she blushed.

"He's not my boyfriend!" She'd finally gotten it out but James didn't seem to notice. "And I'm not cute."

"Who said you're not cute?" James looked ready to bite someone's head off and Hermione smiled.

"Well no one has actually said it to me." She touched her hair and pushed her bangs out of her eyes.

Hermione was silent for awhile, then slowly James became Harry, all she had to do was put her arms around his neck and stand on tiptoe a bit and he would be right there. "Harry." She whispered.

James looked surprised, then he smiled. "So you're just friends then?" Hermione was unsure what he was saying, then she remembered they'd been talking about Harry.

"Right well yeah. We're just friends. I mean… I've thought maybe I liked him but I don't-"She was rambling.

"Well why don't you find out?"

"What?"

"You said I'm just like him? So kiss me. Then you'll know if you like him or not." He said it so nonchalantly, like it was no big deal.

_No he's nothing like Harry. Harry would never tell some girl to just kiss him._

But besides that… His glasses were hiding his brown eyes and Hermione could just imagine Harry sitting next to her, studying in the common room by the fire. It was true she'd always wondered if she liked Harry deep down. It would be easy… Hermione only had to lean forward slightly and James met her halfway and she kissed him. Of their own accord, her hands went up into his hair and he deepened the kiss. His mouth moved over hers and it felt strange. His hands wandered to her hips and then lower back.

That's when she began to think, about the _real _Harry.

_No! Harry's like a brother._

Hermione jolted apart from James and went back to her chair. Her back was still turned away from him when she said firmly, "Now that that's out of our system, why don't we get to work?" She gasped for air and she could feel her hands shaking.

"Too weird?" James sat in his own chair as well, slightly out of breath.

"Yep." Was all she could manage.

"Too bad…Sirius will be furious with me." He slyly added.

"Sirius?"

"He thinks you're… what was the word he used, 'feisty'? Yep that's it." Hermione blushed bright red and her eyes opened wide in embarrassment.

"Feisty?" She hissed. "What the hell?" She was surprised she could talk with him so easily. For a moment she'd been concerned things would be awkward but he made it effortless to talk to him, always making jokes and easing the conversation into cheerful tones.

_I really shouldn't have kissed him though. That was dumb. And what does he mean by telling me about Sirius?_

James laughed in glee and tipped his chair back. "He'll probably try something as well."

"What?" Hermione screamed across the library and they were soon kicked out by a very young Miss Pince.

O

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When they'd gone back to the common room James said goodbye and headed to bed but Hermione sat on the comfiest chair she could find.

_I wonder when I'll start to lose my memories…_

She'd been avoiding thinking of this because the idea scared her. She curled up so her knees were under her chin and she studied the fire. Without her memories would she lose her mind? Would she forget who she was? Would she forget her parents? Friends? Depressing thoughts began to pound through her head and she dropped her heavy head in to her knees and cried quietly. It was close to midnight and no one was around, she'd be fine.

Suddenly there was a pressure on her shoulder and Hermione leapt up.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Hermione realized with some embarrassment that it was just Remus and tucked her wand away. "You almost poked my eye out!" Remus sounded mock angry but Hermione wasn't in the mood to laugh.

"Sorry." She muttered and pushed her hair behind her ear. She could just imagine the rat's nest on her head. She sat back on the chair and stared back into the fire. Red light glinted off the tears on her cheek and Remus had the insane desire to push them away. Instead he sat in the second comfiest chair next to Hermione.

"How was your first day?" Remus plucked at a string hanging off the arm of his chair and watched Hermione out of the corner of his eye. She wiped her cheeks and glared into the fire. She didn't answer him. Remus stilled and dark thoughts began to fill his head. Could she hate me? She'd hugged him earlier but maybe she'd only done that because there were other people around. Some people feared werewolves so much they refused to look at them once they knew what they were. Was that what was going on here? "Hello?" He tried to say calmly but anger was gnawing at his gut. When the full moon was close he was easier to anger and harder to compose. He calmed when Hermione looked up at his face in surprise.

"Sorry did you say something?" Her eyes were open wide, innocently and Remus admired there dark color despite his anger.

"No. Um… goodnight." He turned away from her and started for the boy's room.

"Goodnight professor." Hermione said absentmindedly and Remus froze.

"What?"

"What?"

"No. What did you just say?" Remus spun and ran back to Hermione's chair. He gripped the red fabric and stared down at her with narrow eyes.

"Um… nothing. I think?" Hermione was drowsy and wasn't catching on to Remus' clear irritation.

"No you called me professor!" He pounded the chair's arm.

"Did I?"

"Yes!" He said in frustration.

"Slip of the tongue."

"But why would you call me that?"

He looked so desperate Hermione hesitated. "Well you're my teacher in the future. It was an accident Re-Remus. Don't worry about it."

"…Really?"

"Really what?" Hermione said, much to Lupin's annoyance.

"That I become a teacher?"

"Yeah Dumbledore hires you."

Tears sprung to Lupin's eyes and Hermione finally caught on. "This is great. So people are more accepting of werewolves in the future?"

Hermione sighed and patted Remus' arm. "No, no I'm afraid not. But you will be happy Remus. I promise." Hermione thought of Tonks and smiled warmly at Remus. Remus hung his head and Hermione quickly hugged him. Moony had reminded her that some people had it worse, and although she had problems she needed to think of others besides herself.

"Thank you."

It killed her but Hermione pulled away from Remus and looked into his blue eyes. "Goodnight….professor." Remus smiled at the title and Hermione touched his cheek before moving to the girl's dorms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine and I'm just writing this story for fun.**

**Chapter 5**

_"Too many people grow up. That's the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They forget. They don't remember what it's like to be 12 years old." -Walt Disney_

Remus entered the boy's dorms after his encounter with Hermione. She was a perplexing girl (not to mention headache inducing) and he felt drained from trying to figure her out. But Sirius of course wouldn't let him rest. He lay out on his bed but Sirius leapt on him.

"The future! I want to ask her about mine so badly!"

"What!" Remus stood up. "You can't!"

Sirius looked at Moony surprised. "Why not? She told Prongs some things today. Pretty exciting stuff."

"She told Prongs the future?" Remus began to shake with anger. "That was incredibly stupid! When?" He felt guilty enough that Hermione had told him he would be a professor.

"He told me about it the second he came back… he's in the bathroom; he'll probably tell you what she said when he gets out."

"Damn it Sirius I don't want to know. You're not supposed to know!" He wanted to pull out his own hair for pushing Hermione for the truth earlier.

Remus began to pace the large dorm room. He sighed and sat back on his bed. He flipped over backwards and put an arm over his face.

_I'll just make sure she doesn't spill anymore._

Sirius hoped over to Remus' bed and leaned over him. "Maybe she knows your future." Remus blushed. Sirius winked and got up to put on his pajamas. "Future, huh? She's somethin' ain't she?"

Remus sat up really fast and raised his brows at Sirius this time. Irritation was welling up in him too easily today. "Do you like her?" Remus could scarcely believe it. Padfoot had never liked anyone.

Padfoot stopped and looked over his shoulder at Lupin. "I don't know, what's that feel like anyway?" Remus rolled his eyes and turned over so his back was now to Black. Then Potter came in. Without a word he went to his bed, flipped onto it and didn't look back up. "Jeez, she must have worked him hard!" Black sauntered to the already sleeping James and pulled his hair. He didn't wake up.

"Who?" Remus wasn't interested but...

"Hermione, of course, she's going to give him help with homework." Sirius pulled his robes over his head and began to change into pajama bottoms.

Lupin perked at that. "Isn't that MY job?" Maybe he wouldn't have to help everyone with their homework this year, but he didn't actually help, just gave them the answers.

"She must be pretty good too. James said she's already taken these classes in the future." Sirius smirked. "I'm going to ask her to help me tomorrow."

Lupin couldn't help speculate who this girl was. She was so frustrating and annoyed him but he had snuck glimpses of her, all day he couldn't stop, not during potions, charms, transfiguration and dinner, and now here she was, stealing his friends. "Whatever. Maybe I won't have to put up with you anymore." Moony had never clashed with anyone before Hermione. He couldn't stop thinking about her, especially her cool hand on his burning face before she'd gone to bed. His dreams were dark and mostly featured himself in wolf form running through the Forbidden Forest and being chased and unable to escape.

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During breakfast the next morning Hermione pushed her omelet around her plate. The yellow blob didn't look appealing at all. "Are you going to eat that?" Hermione looked up in surprise to find Sirius sitting very close to her. Inconveniently, she remembered what James had said last night and she pushed the plate over to him.

"No." She picked up her goblet full of pumpkin juice and tried to force herself to drink it. She swirled it until the juice was hitting the rim then slammed it on the table.

Lily, who was sitting across from Hermione, looked up in annoyance. "Less noise please." She went back to her charms essay which she hadn't had time to finish last night. When she had sat next to Hermione that morning she hadn't expected the Marauders to join them and now that they had she was in the worst kind of mood. It wasn't like she could move without looking like she had a big stick up her butt. She was sick of them making her look like a prick every time they annoyed her and she had to storm away or be forced to perform a bat-boogey hex on Potter.

Hermione glanced at James and he gave her a tiny smile before returning to his oatmeal. She was glad he still wanted to be her friend, especially after last night, the embarrassment of it hadn't fully hit her until she was in the shower that morning.

Today she'd attempted to perform an anti-frizz spell she'd picked up from the Patil girl's and it was working well which was making her feel better but not much.

"Look who it is." Peter suddenly announced and everyone looked up to see what he was talking about.

The only thing Hermione could see was a white-blonde girl, who was walking toward them from the Ravenclaw table. "Oh no." She heard Remus mutter and she glanced at his white face.

Sirius laughed cheerfully and waved the girl over. "Oi! Doriana!" The girl waved back and started walking faster toward them.

"Why'd you do that?" Remus was glowering at Sirius. But his eyes shifted to the girl in what Hermione interpreted as fear.

"Who's that?" Hermione whispered to James and he smiled at her.

"That… is Ms. Doriana Trout."

"Trout?" Hermione had never heard of her.

"She has a notorious crush on Remus." Hermione raised her eyebrows and took a better look at the girl. She was closer and Hermione saw that her white-blonde hair almost reached her lower back and she had bright blue eyes. She kind of reminded Hermione of Luna. But this girl's face wasn't vacant at all, she looked intelligent and determined. She was very pretty.

"Why's he acting like that then?" Hermione glanced at Remus again and noted his white face and annoyed expression.

"He's got a phobia of woman." James also looked at Remus but smiled slightly as he said this, Hermione hoped that meant he was mostly joking.

"Hello everyone." Doriana had reached the table and was standing behind Sirius so she was in front of Remus. Remus managed to glance up and give her a small wave before returning to his bacon and eggs.

"Hello Doriana! Would you like to sit with us Gryffindors today?" Sirius shifted closer to Hermione to make room but the girl shook her head. Hermione was hyper aware of Sirius' leg touching her own but she wasn't sure if he'd done it on purpose or not.

"No, I just came to remind Remus we have a prefect meeting today." She stared at Remus long and hard before he finally looked up.

"Thanks Doriana but you didn't have to do that." Remus muttered. Hermione felt kind of bad for the girl but something was bugging her.

"How many times do I have to tell you? You can call me Ana!" She teased him but Remus only gave her a small smile.

"Can I call you Ana?" Sirius said in a voice that was meant to sound sincere.

Doriana laughed. "I didn't think you could keep the names straight with all of the girls you're stringing along Sirius." She poked his shoulder but glanced at Hermione as she said this. Annoyance built up immediately in Hermione but she refused to respond. "What's your name?" Doriana was staring at Hermione but when she went to open her mouth to answer, Sirius jumped in.

"This here is Hermione! She came from… Where did you say you were from?"

"America."

"Right! America! And she's brilliant!" Hermione noticed Doriana's eyes darken and narrow for a second but then she smiled.

"Very nice to meet you Hermione. See you around everyone." She gave Hermione one last glance before smiling at Remus and finally leaving. In embarrassment Hermione realized Sirius' leg was still against her own, she'd forgotten, so she shifted away.

"Come on Remus! You could at least TRY!" Sirius said in exasperation but smiled at Remus' expression. Sirius hadn't seemed to notice her moving away.

"And say what exactly?" Remus glared at Sirius who just laughed. "Hi I'm Remus, I'm a-"

"Git!" Hermione filled in before he could say werewolf. She glanced pointedly at Lily who didn't notice. Everyone else laughed but Remus gave Hermione a grateful smile.

"Yes he is a git isn't he?" Sirius looked Remus up and down. "You need to bulk up or something. You're too skinny. Doesn't your mother ever tell you you're too skinny?" James laughed heartily and even Hermione chuckled.

"Not this again." Remus rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you?" Everyone burst into more laughter when he said this and he blushed, he'd said the exact same thing as Doriana.

There was a slam and everyone looked over in shock at Lily who'd slammed her hands on the table and was standing. "Oh why do you insist on making fun of everyone?" Lily had joined in the conversation, but she was glaring at James angrily. Hermione stopped laughing and watched Lily warily.

"I didn't say anything!" James looked a little taken aback.

Lily walked down the table to sit next to Alice and Frank who didn't even notice her arrival. "Sorry mate." Sirius said gravely as they all looked after Lily.

James growled, "You'd think she'd like me more after I stuck up for her after Snape called her a-a-a-"

"Mudblood?" Hermione supplied and the rest of the table glared at her.

"What have you got against them?" Even Remus looked angry as he said this.

Hermione chuckled. "Nothing. Since I am one! Jeez guys, I'm proud to be a mudblood!" A few people down the table gave Hermione a weird look when she yelled this but went back to their breakfast when they saw the Marauders around her.

"That's excellent! I knew there was a reason I liked you!" Sirius said gleefully and put an arm around her shoulder.

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Hermione sighed, this class was unbelievably easy. It was even easier the first time she'd taken it because the teacher had been way better than this one. She looked up at the Transfiguration teacher, who was dully explaining the finer points of turning a goblet into a rat. "Is there anyone that wants to demonstrate?" Hermione automatically raised her hand, but surprisingly, so did Lupin. The teacher, probably not knowing who Hermione was, picked Lupin.

Moony stood and waved his wand but the goblet didn't turn, Hermione knew it was because he had been holding his hand just slightly wrong.

The professor looked surprised. "Something wrong, Lupin?"

Remus turned bright red then sat back down. "No, sir."

The teacher smiled kindly then explained, "Well it was your first try." The teacher turned away."Alright, well, anyone else want to try?" The teacher looked around hopefully, but he knew, after Remus had failed no one would want-

Hermione raised her hand.

"Oh...well. Go ahead."

Hermione knew this was bad, she _was_ cheating, after all, she had already taken this class before. Hermione stood and began the spell. She'd done it so many times before she didn't even have to speak the words aloud. She simply tapped the goblet in front of her three times and it instantly turned into a large rat. She set her hand down on its tail before it ran away and turned it back into a cup again. The class remained silent and Hermione felt so awkward. "Um, professor," Hermione said uncertainly. "May I go to the bathroom?" The dumbstruck professor simply nodded and Hermione walked quietly to the door. As soon as she was outside in the hall Hermione headed to Dumbledore's office.

Meanwhile, back in the classroom, it had turned into complete chaos. The teacher didn't really mind, there was nothing to demonstrate so the class was already over. Everyone wanted to know who the transfer student was and how she was so brilliant. Of course the Marauders where once again the center of attention. Since it seemed, that was who Hermione had become friends with. Sirius and James talked animatedly about the girl they barely knew themselves. While Peter sat next to them and nodded constantly like a great fat rat. But Lupin just sat there, incredibly pissed. Hermione was using the fact that she was from the future to her own advantage.

O

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After Hermione spoke to Dumbledore about getting herself some school supplies and robes sent to Hogwarts, Hermione wandered the hallways aimlessly. She was exhausted from staying up late into the night worrying about what was going to happen to her. She ended up walking right back to the Gryffindor common room and she entered through the Fat Lady's portrait. The Marauders were all sitting around the chairs nearest the fire and Hermione smiled, it was Harry, Ron and her favorite spot as well. She walked up to join them and sat between Sirius and Remus. "What are you guys doing?"

"Trying to figure out how you did that transfiguration spell." Sirius waved his wand but the goblet didn't even waver. He sighed.

Remus rolled his eyes but went back to his potions essay. They'd received it today and it wasn't due for a few more days but he was refusing to practice the goblet spell. It was irritating to him for some reason. The moon wouldn't be full for another five days, he knew this by instinct, but the closer it came the angrier and snappier he was, even to his friends.

"We're going down to dinner. Would you like to come?" James asked but Hermione shook her head.

"No I'm not really hungry. It's kind of early don't you think?"

"Yes but quidditch tryout are today." James said proudly and they all left out the portrait except for Sirius.

Hermione shuffled around some research she'd done for the potions essay. "Aren't you going too Sirius?"

"Well no. I was actually wondering if you could help me." Sirius looked completely serious…Hermione giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking that you looked very serious when you asked me that." Sirius joined in her laughter.

"But Hermione, I'm always serious!" They laughed some more before Hermione picked up Sirius' goblet.

"Alright let's get started so you can go to those tryouts!" Hermione picked up her own wand.

After Hermione had shown him the proper way to hold the wand, she began to teach him the right way to flick it. "No Padfoot, you have to flick your wand. Not wave it."Sirius concentrated for a moment then flicked his wand beautifully, the goblet in front of him shimmered but since he hadn't said the magic word it did nothing else. "That was brilliant!"

Sirius stopped and smiled. "Ya think so?"

"Definitely!" Hermione walked closer and adjusted his wand in his hand a little. "Now try it more like this-"

"Hermione," Sirius no longer looked interested in the new way he was holding his wand. Instead he was looking at her quizzically. "How do you know so much about us? You know our nicknames, or whole names, the Invisibility Cloak-"

"The Marauder's Map?"

Sirius stared at her dumbfounded. "You won't tell-"

"Of course not!" Hermione shook her head. "But I suspect it will be taken away soon by Filch."

"Does he know what it does?" Sirius looked panicked. It was cute the way his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.

"No no. He just thinks it does something bad." Hermione chuckled.

_Wasn't that what Fred and George had said?_

Sirius leaned back in his chair until it was standing on two legs. "I _was_ thinking of leaving it for later troublemakers." That made Hermione laugh hysterically, _if there were any troublemakers it would be Fred and George_. "But you avoided my question." He tipped violently forward until he was only an inch from her face. "Well?"

Hermione sighed. "I'm from the future."

"But you know too much. Things we swore to never tell anyone." Hermione felt her face get hot. Sirius really was quite brilliant himself. Then she tried to calm down. He probably wanted to make her feel uncomfortable

She couldn't exactly tell him about Harry, and that Sirius was the one who told Harry everything. "You told me yourself." Hermione said simply.

"Wow, you know me in the future?" He was still leaning forward. "I wonder what you've changed by coming here…" Hermione was silent for a while before pushing away from Sirius. Sirius sat silently. He didn't look at her or laugh like he normally did. "Do you know my future?"

Hermione sucked in her breath remembering the night at the Department of Mysteries. "No."

Sirius spun and looked at her in alarm. "You do!"

"Sirius... It's not easy to know the future..."

"TELL ME!" He looked panicked and Hermione wanted to cry.

"Don't you yell at me!" But Hermione's voice wavered and she choked back a sob.

Sirius grabbed Hermione's arms and looked her straight in the face. "Just tell me." He said it gently but this made Hermione begin to cry in earnest.

"I'm so sorry, we were trying to save you…"

"Go on."

"When you died, oh poor Harry. Poor poor Harry." She shook her head and tried to forget Harry's sadness after Sirius was gone.

"How did I die Hermione?" He lightly shook her to get her back on track but she continued to shake her head.

"You died, because you came to protect someone you loved." She thought he would freak. Or yell and say he'd never die. But he smiled instead.

"Thank God." He sat in another chair and covered his face.

Memories flooded her. Harry's pain, Voldemort, the war. But Sirius was satisfied with the way things had turned out, she knew that now. She considered telling him about Azkaban but it might be too much since she'd also have to explain about Peter's betrayal. She couldn't tell him about the people he'd left behind either, how devastated Harry had been. "You're not upset at all?"

"Hermione. Dying for those you love is the best to die." Sirius stood and hugged Hermione who cried into his shoulder for a long time. "Thank you." Hermione could only nod into his shoulder before they pulled away from each other. He brushed some of her hair out of her eyes and smiled at her while she wiped tears from her cheeks. "Your hair looks nice today."

Hermione laughed and swatted his hand away. "You think so?" She couldn't help but feel flattered. "AH! Your quidditch!"

They ran all the way down to the pitch but were still late. Sirius joined the rest of the Gryffindors and Hermione headed to the stands to sit next to Remus. "Where's Peter?" She asked as she sat down and Remus nodded at her.

"He tries out every year. Never makes it." Hermione didn't feel sorry for him at all.

"Why aren't you trying out?"

"Can't stay on a broom for the life of me." They laughed together then Hermione watched as the team flew into the air. "You and Sirius were gone a long time." Hermione looked at Remus in surprise but he was deadly serious.

"Well I guess…" She wasn't sure if Remus would approve of her telling James and Sirius a little bit of their future. She went back to watch the team and pinpointed Sirius in the crowd. James was also flying around there somewhere but she couldn't spot him.

"You shouldn't tell them too much."

Hermione looked at Remus and sighed. "It's not that I want to. But Remus, their futures are so sad…"

"No! Don't tell me!" His eyes were frightened and he was holding his hands up as if he could physically block her from telling him something. But he couldn't help but notice that she'd only said their futures were sad. How could his future be better than his very talented and handsome friends?

Hermione stared at him for a long time then nodded. "You're right. You're completely right. I've ruined everything by coming here!" She was forcing herself not to cry but Remus knew anyways.

"Hey…Don't do that." He whispered but Hermione sniffed. "Here. I have chocolate." He dug around in his pockets until he came up with a chocolate bar. "Take some." Hermione smiled appreciatively and took a small bite.

"I should've known you'd have chocolate."

Remus smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Never leave the house without it." But really he was just glad she wasn't crying.

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Hermione left early but the Marauders walked back to the castle together.

"Come on Remus, it's not like she'll say no! What are you afraid of?" Sirius poked Remus' side but Remus only glowered as they walked.

"Because I don't want to. How is that so hard for you to understand?"

James trudged along next to Sirius and shook his head. Padfoot always pushed Moony's buttons close to the full moon, he wasn't sure why but it just seemed to make Moony harder and harder to calm down from one of his temper tantrums. "You ask Doriana and I'll ask Hermione and we'll go to Hogsmeade together next week, it'll be fun!"

Remus refused to even respond to this. He could feel his shoulders growing tenser; especially when he thought about the prefects meeting he had later.

When they reached the castle, James Sirius and Peter went up to the Gryffindor common room while Remus went to the Great Hall for the prefects meeting.

"See ya!" James called and Remus gave him a feeble wave.

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Hermione felt weary and she had a throbbing headache. But Lily was writing next to her and all Hermione could hear was the scratching of her quill. "Are you still mad?" Lily didn't answer her and Hermione glared at the fire.

_Just great. Why is she so stubborn?_

Lily finally put down her quill and sighed. "I know I shouldn't be mad." She brushed her red hair over her shoulder and Hermione admired its softness. "But everything he does infuriates me. I don't know what it is." Hermione smiled, Ron made her feel the same way but they were best friends.

"He didn't even do anything." Hermione had to point this out but Lily just sighed in exasperation.

"Yes but…"Lily shook her head. "You're right. But Sev will be furious if I decide to be nice to James."

Hermione's eyes widened. _Sev? Did she mean…_ "Snape?"

"Yes. What Alice said is true. We're friends." She hesitated on the word friends.

"Oh."

"But lately… I don't know. I don't like who he's hanging out with."

"Who is he hanging out with?" But Hermione could imagine exactly who it was, a bunch of Death Eaters. Well… future Death eaters.

Lily growled. "A bunch of losers." She began to pack away her homework things, slamming everything down into her bag.

Hermione didn't respond to this for a long time and stared into the fire. She hadn't been friends with Lily very long; she didn't feel comfortable telling Lily to stop being friends with someone else. "Maybe he'll figure it out…"

"Not to mention what happened last year!" Tears filled Lily's eyes and Hermione looked on in horror.

She wasn't supposed to know what happened last year, so Hermione had to ask. "Last year?"

"He called me a-a- well he called me something in front of all these people. It was humiliating. We didn't speak for weeks." Lily had finished putting her things away and stared hard at Hermione. "James stuck up for me of course…went about it the wrong way but…" Lily glared at the books in her bag and Hermione nodded.

"Like I said, some boys mature slower than others. But eventually… they all grow up." Lily looked at Hermione for a moment then picked up her things.

"I suppose…Goodnight Hermione." Lily walked away and up the stairs to the girl's room.

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For the next couple of days Doriana continued to join the Marauders and Hermione at the Gryffindor table for meal times, much to Hermione's chagrin. She wasn't sure what it was about her but Doriana didn't seem to like Hermione or Lily very much. Doriana sat next to Remus every time but when she tried to engage in some kind of conversation he would become dark and brooding. Remus was remote until the full moon came and went and after this he became a much pleasanter person. He even managed to be nicer to Doriana which just encouraged her to sit with them.

"The Hogsmeade trip is on the twenty first." Sirius dropped the hint one morning but Remus ignored him.

"Yes I'm very excited to go." Doriana said as she looked longingly at Remus, who became very interested in his toast. "What about you Hermione? It'll be your first time right?" She sighed. "I remember my first time."

Hermione ground her teeth but had to answer in the negative, that she had never been to Hogsmeade.

"I'd love to take you Hermione!" Sirius jumped in and moved closer to Hermione. His knee bumped hers and Hermione was unsure again whether he'd done it on purpose. This sort of thing happened daily and more and more often but Hermione usually just ignored it. Sirius had been bothering Hermione a lot lately about going to Hogsmeade. But she was reluctant for obvious reasons.

James stared down the table at Lily who was sitting with Alice and Frank. She'd been switching between sitting with the two groups and James had been ecstatic. He'd thanked Hermione profusely but she didn't honestly think it was very much progress. Lily had confided in Hermione that 'Sev' was angry with her for sitting with the Marauders at all and Hermione felt sorry for her. Lily seemed very conflicted about the whole thing.

"We'll see." Hermione answered Sirius finally and continued to eat her cereal. "Wait! What's the date?" Hermione looked around the table in a panic.

"The sixteenth." Remus answered automatically and Doriana noticed that he'd answered Hermione right away while he refused to even look at her. She narrowed her eyes at Hermione.

"Oh my gosh! My birthday is in three days." Hermione contemplated this for a while. It wasn't really her birthday since it hadn't been a year since her last one but she was still kind of excited.

"Your birthday!" Sirius looked mock angry. "And you didn't tell your friends?" he shook his head. "How did you expect us to get you presents on such late notice?"

Hermione blushed and waved her hands. "No no no. You can't get me anything!"

James laughed and finally looked away from Lily. "Of course we have to Hermione."

"It's official! I have to take you to Hogsmeade now!" Sirius proclaimed and everyone at the table chuckled, accept for Hermione.

"What?" She asked in confusion.

"I have to take you on the Hogsmeade-best-birthday-spectacular-extravaganza-tour!"

"You can't be serious?" She said and blanched when she realized what she'd said.

"I'm always serious Hermione." Hermione rolled her eyes (this joke had gotten old after the billionth time he'd said it) when he said this and decided to just ignore his shenanigans. Sometimes there was no stopping Sirius when he was on a roll.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me in any way, shape or form. This story is just something I've done for my own entertainment.**

**Chapter 6**

_"Trying to make someone fall in love with you is about as pointless as trying to control who you fall in love with."_

"Happy Birthday!" Hermione jolted up out of bed and glanced around drowsily at Lily and Alice who were standing over her bed with big smiles and presents.

"What the-"

"Imagine how upset I was," Lily got in Hermione's face. "when _Sirius _came to me yesterday and asked me what I was getting you for your birthday and I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about!" Lily held up a giant cake and set it in front of Hermione.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Alice sounded pretty disappointed and Hermione felt immediately guilty.

"I didn't want it to be a big deal." Hermione looked between Alice and Lily's annoyed faces and tried to smile. "Thank you for doing this though." She gazed around at the balloons crowding the dorm room and the cake Lily had set on her bed.

"It wasn't a big deal." Lily sounded infuriated but Hermione didn't miss her smile as she turned away and started getting dressed.

"Oh!" Alice gasped and ran to the door. "And a house elf brought these; he said these were for you." Hermione's annoyance that someone had used a house elf like this vanished when she saw the huge bouquet of flowers. Alice picked up the vase they were in and carried it over to Hermione who gaped at lovely flora. They were magicked to change colors and Hermione was dazzled. She watched as a lily went from pink to orange to purple in a matter of seconds and a daisy change from white to blue to red.

"Wow." It was one of the nicest presents Hermione had ever received but when she snatched up the card it didn't say who it was from, just her name.

Lily's curiosity got the better of her and she walked over. "Who is it from?"

"Doesn't say."

Lily touched one of the lily's petals and the color shimmered. "That's a very powerful charm." She trailed off and the three girls stared at the flashing bouquet for a long time. "I can only see Remus being able to pull this off." Lily continued then shook her head and walked away. But Hermione was frozen.

"Moony? Why would he give me this?" She was excited but also confused. Hermione took the vase and set it on the table next to her bed.

"Maybe he likes you?" Alice supplied but Hermione shook her head very quickly.

Lily finished getting dressed and walked to her mirror. "More likely he's being nice. Remus isn't very smooth." Hermione accepted this idea and quickly put on her robes. Lily offered to perform the anti-frizz spell for Hermione and she accepted gratefully. When she looked in the mirror Hermione touched her soft frizz-free hair and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"Would you like me to cut them?" Lily asked and raised her wand.

Maybe girlfriends weren't so bad. Hermione nodded joyfully and Lily got to work.

They walked down to breakfast together and Lily and Alice sat next to Hermione. They were serving pancakes and Hermione took a few. But she'd lost her appetite; she couldn't stop thinking about the flowers upstairs next to her bed.

"What do you think your parents will send you?" Alice asked absently before taking a sip of orange juice.

Hermione choked down a piece of pancake and had a minor panic attack. Her parents wouldn't be sending her anything whatsoever because they hadn't even met yet. She set down her fork and tried to act nonchalant. "Well… probably nothing." She couldn't lie about this, but the horrified looks on Alice's and Lily's faces concerned her. They couldn't suspect something was wrong.

"Why not?" Lily said, she sounded furious and Hermione's heart swelled with affection that Lily cared so much, but this feeling died.

Hermione had to make something up… "They've been struggling with money…." This was humiliating. She ducked her head and shuffled a soggy pancake around her plate. She'd definitely put too much syrup on it.

There was an uncomfortable silence which made Hermione want to excuse herself, but the Marauders arrived. Sirius sat so close to Hermione that she bumped her plate and almost knocked it into Lily but she managed to catch it. James sat across from Hermione and next to Alice so he could have an unobstructed view of Lily. Remus sat next to James and across from Sirius but regretted this when he realized that there was an open seat next to him. Seemingly out of nowhere Doriana plopped next to Remus and he gave her a feeble hello.

"Hello Remus. Happy birthday Hermione." Doriana plucked up a piece of toast from the center of the table and waved cheerfully at the rest of the table.

"Thanks." Hermione muttered as she pushed her plate away and looked at Remus out of the corner of her eye. Had he been the one to send those flowers?

"Happy birthday!" The Marauders said in unison and Hermione smirked.

"Did you rehearse that?" She joked and shifted away from Sirius, it felt like he was breathing down her neck sometimes.

Remus chuckled but James and Sirius pouted. As usual Peter looked like he didn't know what to do or say. "Don't tease your friends!" James scolded her but smiled when Hermione laughed.

"Especially friends that give you presents!" Sirius cried joyfully as the Marauders each brought out a box with a bow on it with a flourish.

Hermione groaned. "You guys! I said to not get me anything!"

"And we ignored you." Sirius said proudly.

James set his gift in front of her and Hermione opened it with a sigh. He'd given her a box of candy that he swore had firewhiskey in them. "I can't take these James!" When he admitted what was in them.

"Course you can!" Sirius said and handed her the next box from Peter.

Peter gave Hermione a box of sugar quills and she thanked him but felt uncomfortable accepting them. Then Remus handed her a box and Hermione took it in confusion. Didn't she already receive his present? When she opened it she smiled at the chocolate frogs. "Now you won't go stealing my chocolate." He joked and they laughed privately. Doriana's eyes narrowed when she was left out of the inside joke but didn't say anything. Hermione finished laughing and smiled at Remus. He nodded and returned to breakfast but couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the morning.

"Of course you'll have to wait for my present." Sirius said as he took another bite of cereal. "When we go to Hogsmeade together." He added and Hermione looked up in surprise.

"Er…right." Hermione blushed and took another bite of her pancakes. Then who had sent her those flowers? It was becoming quite a puzzle. When she'd finished chewing and looked up at her new friends, they were all smiling at her pleasantly. "Thank you guys, for everything. You really did spoil me though." She studied all the boxes around her and moved her hair out of her eyes.

"Hey! You cut your hair!" Sirius exclaimed and studied Hermione. "It looks nice."

Now the table was scrutinizing Hermione and she blushed under all the stares. "Yes well, thanks Sirius."

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Hermione studied her Potion's essay, she had a free period before her and Lily were to head to that class and they were sitting in the Gryffindor's common room getting some last minute studying done. "Thank you Lily, for fixing my hair." Hermione smiled as she thought of Sirius' compliment.

"Sure Hermione, we're friends and it's your birthday!" Lily studied Hermione when she said this though. Ever since Hermione had said that she wouldn't be receiving anything from her parents she'd been conflicted. Hermione didn't seem like the type of person who had a bad home life. She only knew what that looked like because of poor Sev. But breakfast had passed without a single owl coming for Hermione, not even a birthday card. It just didn't make sense.

Hermione seemed perfectly fine though as she answered Lily. "It's nice to do girly things sometimes. I've never actually had a girl as a friend." She confided. She rubbed her temple, another headache was plaguing her. This time it seared her temples and the bridge of her nose.

"Really?" Lily looked confused. "But what about Jane?" Lily shifted in her seat and set down her essay.

"Who?" Hermione brushed her hair behind her shoulder like she'd seen Lily do; now that her hair was softer she could actually do it without looking stupid.

"You know…the girl you said was your friend in grade school…" Lily looked at Hermione like she was insane, she could've sworn Hermione had mentioned someone named Jane several times.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

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Sirius studied the Marauder's map. "Should we go tease Snivellus?" He was sitting in his chair backwards, watching Hermione and Lily's dots sit in the common room.

"No I'm not in the mood." James said as he plucked fluff from his robes. He was lying on his back on his bed staring up at the ceiling. Really he was thinking of what Hermione had said though, about not teasing Sniv- …Snape anymore. The boys were sitting in their room, bored out of their minds, which wasn't a good thing with the Marauders. It usually meant they were about to get into a whole heap of mischief.

Remus stood and tried to stretch out but this only took a second before he flipped back onto the bed. He could be studying but in the state he was in now it was useless, he'd stare at the paper and will words to appear instead of doing actual work.

"I'm so bored." Peter moaned, drawing out the 'o' in bored. Remus, Sirius and James grunted in agreement.

"Come on, Snivellus is all by himself in the library. Are you sure you don't want to go rub his greasy nose into the books?" Sirius laughed and James was tempted but he wanted Lily more than he wanted to duel Snape. Sirius sighed when no one took up the offer and took out his wand. "Mischief managed. I wish." He grumbled, the words disappeared and he folded it up before chucking the map onto James' bed. It hit his side but James didn't move. He rubbed his neck and began to fret. "What do you think she thought of the flowers?"

"Who?" Remus asked as he played with the curtains around his bed. They floated across the floor and Remus whipped them harder so they spread out like a fan.

"I sent Hermione flowers for her birthday… But she didn't mention them this morning. Maybe the elf didn't deliver them yet?" Sirius was a little shocked at his own nervousness, woman were something that he had no trouble with. But the fact that Hermione seemed completely resistant to him was very attractive.

"Did you sign them?" James asked and Sirius thought about it.

"Don't remember."

James chuckled and Remus shook his head. "You're an idiot." James joked and threw a pillow. The pillow hit Sirius in the face and Sirius sent it flying back with his wand. Remus thought about Sirius sending Hermione flowers.

_Did she like that? Maybe I should've done something like that…What am I saying?_

Remus sat up and began to pick up his clothes strewn across the floor. He had to do _something_ instead of think!

"What? Remus cleaning!" Peter called and the boys burst into laughter.

"This is an emergency!" James cried and there were more fits of laughter.

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In potions Hermione teamed up with Remus so he could have a break from James disastrous potion making and she could have a break from Sirius, who'd begged her to be partners with him every class period. He was a horrible potion maker and under normal circumstances she would have refused but here her grades didn't matter and she could help him. Hermione studied the potion Slughorn had put up on the board. "It says we need pixie heart." Remus muttered and Hermione nodded.

"Be right back."

_Pixie heart… pixie heart…_

She was concentrating so hard she hardly even noticed when James came in right behind her. Her fingers traced the labels on the shelves and she jumped a foot when James tapped her shoulder.

"God Harry!" She practically shrieked when she spun around, and mistook James, once again, for Harry. "OH! Sorry, I did it again." She gushed. Nervously she pushed her hair out of her eyes and patted his arm.

James shrugged, "Hey, I'm used to it." He glanced behind her at the shelves and picked up a small vial. " Here." It was pixie heart and he was holding it out to her. Reaching out to take it she remembered Harry's polite mannerisms.

"I need to stop worrying about him." Hermione tried to explain. "He's a big boy. He's fine by himself."

James smiled at her kindly and reached for a second vial. "I'm sure. He is my son after all." James chuckled as he left and Hermione smiled.

Forgetting him Hermione tried to get back into her classroom mode, remembering formulas and ingredients.

_Harry's fine, not getting into any trouble…_

She approached Remus and held up the vial. "Which way do we stir it?" She asked as she joined him at the table and set down the vial.

"The book says clockwise 7 times." Hermione nodded and reached for the stirrer but Remus reached for it at the same moment. Their hands touched and Remus jolted his hand back. "Sorry sorry!" He blushed brick red but Hermione didn't notice, she'd already put the pixie heart in and if she didn't stir it, she began to twist it, but it was too late, instead of turning a dark navy, like the book described, the potion became brown and congealed across the cauldron bottom.

"Oh no!" Hermione tried to fix it by adding a few drops of dragon's blood but it didn't work.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, it's my fault!" Remus looked into the cauldron and winced. "We'll just have to start over."

Hermione sighed and glared at the cauldron. "_Scourgify_." The cauldron was now clean but the ruined potion remained.

They started over again but Remus avoided Hermione's eye. All he could think about was the shock that had gone through his hand when their hands met. The electricity that had ran up his arm and was now pounding through the blood in his head. Apparently he was the only one who felt it though.

Hermione measured out ingredients and was putting them in much more carefully than before, but she was distracted slightly. The flowers had been in her room all day long, bugging her. For about the hundredth time she wondered who could have sent them. She looked at Remus out of the corner of her eye but their eyes met and he looked away quickly. Hermione blushed… maybe he did send them.

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"So, do you like Sirius?" Doriana drawled as they waited for the Marauders to join them.

"Yeah we're friends." Hermione knew what Doriana was talking about but she honestly didn't care what she thought.

"Really?...But you're going to Hogsmeade together?" Doriana rolled an apple across the table and Hermione forced herself to ignore the irritating question until she'd finished writing out the last sentence of her essay. The apple continued to roll across the table and Hermione ground her teeth. It bumped over the uneven surface and each thump was increasing her headache.

"Yes we are. As _friends_." Hermione emphasized friends before dotting her "I"s and crossing her "t"s on her paper. "I'm sure we'll have lots of fun."

"I'm sure you will." Doriana brushed her hair back and Hermione rolled her eyes. She didn't like what Doriana was implying but it didn't really matter what she thought anyways.

Sirius appeared a few minutes later and greeted Hermione jovially. "Hermione!" Hermione smiled at him and scooted over for him. "Guess what Hermione."

Hermione smiled and glanced at Doriana, who was smirking at her. Hermione's smile vanished and she shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. "Um… yes, what?" She nervously brushed her hair out of her eyes but Sirius grabbed her hand and set it on her lap.

"Did you like the flowers?" Hermione's cheeks burned and her hands fluttered but she resisted the urge to touch her hair.

"Th-th-that was you?" Hermione grinned and gave Sirius a hug. "Oh Sirius! That was so sweet!" As she squeezed him, she was surprised she was a little disappointed Remus hadn't given them to her, even if it was as a friend.

Sirius was happy at her reaction and he hugged her back but froze suddenly. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her hair blew in the wind made from his breath and his eyes glazed over. She smelled like strawberries and mint toothpaste. He smiled over her shoulder and buried his nose into her hair. She tried to pull away but he held her.

"Sirius!" She protested and dug her hands into his shoulders. "What are you doing?"

He laughed as she finally pushed him away and he looked her over. "You smell nice." It was probably the most embarrassing thing anyone had ever said to her. She could feel her face growing hotter and hotter and she was frozen with disbelief, what was she supposed to say to that. She heard Doriana laughing but it was like she wasn't in the same room as Sirius and Doriana.

Finally James, Lily, Peter and Remus joined the table and Hermione was able to get her senses back.

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Remus rolled over on his bed and frowned at the maroon curtains blocking his view. He had been having trouble sleeping lately and there were dark circles under his eyes. His blew out a breath and his sheets shifted. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and he threw the curtain open. The window was right next to his bed and the moonlight fell around his covers and face. He felt relaxed now but he still couldn't stop thinking. Hermione's smell as she'd hugged him, the way she brushed her hair out of her eyes when she was nervous, or the way his who body had zinged with electricity when she'd barely grazed his hand.

_I'm sick of it! Make it stop! Get out of my head!_

But she wouldn't, and couldn't.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Harry** **Potter does not belong to me in any way, shape or form. This story is just something I've done for my own entertainment.**

**A/N: I'd like to take this time to thank you guys for the positive reviews. Nothing negative so I'm taking that as a good sign.**

**Chapter 7**

_"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."_

1997:

Lupin lay in the roots of an old tree. There was a pain in his lower back from lying on a knot in the trees wood. Lupin tried to move but his body ached from running all night and he gasped as spasms rocked his legs and arms. He clutched his pulsing right side and his hand came away red and wet. Blood, he was covered in it. His white skin had smears of dried blood plastered everywhere. His body shook from cold and sobbing. Mist surrounded him like a blanket and he wished for his abandoned clothes at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Lupin sat up and hugged himself. He glanced around but the mist had become so thick he could barely see ten feet in front of his face.

Where were the werewolves that had hunted him all night? Fear was tearing at his mind, making him think slowly as he tried to search the darkness for gnashing teeth to come for him. Trees glistened with wet and the sky was a dark gray. It looked like it had recently rained and leaves dripped perspiration. Lupin sniffed the air, someone was coming. He stiffened and looked into the suffocating close trees directly in front of him. Suddenly Lupin noticed two spots of yellow, like the eyes of a cat staring back at him from between two branches. They blinked and Remus tensed for a fight but they disappeared, now he could hear shuffling and the undergrowth shifting. Branches snapped as a black-cloaked figure stepped from the swirling mist. They had come for him at last. The cloaked man stood before Lupin and extended his hand.

"Remus." The voice was cold and sent shivers down Lupin's spine. The man removed his hood. "You have returned Brother, have you finally accepted your fate? Do you truly wish to remain with the Brotherhood of the Moon this time?" Once, after Lily and James had died and he believed Peter dead and Sirius a traitor Lupin had gone to the Forbidden Forest and joined this group of werewolves.

They were a pack, and refused anything human. They rejected their human shapes and could change into a wolf at anytime, which Lupin could not do because he was the type of werewolf who rejected his wolf shape. The pack was very selective and only allowed the strongest of wolves run with them. The only reason Lupin was allowed this access to this select group was because he had evaded them through the night. He had survived where few others had not, for a second time. Lupin glared up at the man in front of him, his face was wolfish, yellow eyes stood out from the white skin and his hair grew thicker than an average humans. The signs of a werewolf who didn't want to be return to human form. This was a different leader than Lupin remembered which meant that this man had killed him. If he refused, he would be killed as well.

Lupin shuddered. All he could think about was the terror he had felt when he had stumbled across another wolf in the forest. He'd approached the wolf, thinking it alone, but others had stepped from the trees, encircling Remus. He'd tried to run but one of the wolves gouged his side and Remus had barely escaped, they could track him by the smell of blood.

He hung his head at his nakedness and whimpered. Even though the full moon was gone, his eyes remained yellow. His hands were clawed, forever half transformed. He looked up and met the other half wolf's eyes. He could never return to Tonks like this, only half a man. Not to mention what he now remembered had happened with Hermione. He was disgusted with himself.

_I deserve this._

"Yes… Brother." Remus barely managed to whisper. The man standing over Remus leered in triumph as Remus grabbed his hand.

O

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Still 1997:

_Dear Harry,_

_Have you heard from Hermione lately? I'm starting to worry about her. Pig just comes back with the letters I send her. Hopefully you've heard something._

_Also I thought you should know that Tonks came to the Burrow hysterical. Remus has been missing apparently since the last full moon which was more than a week ago. Thought maybe you'd heard something? Can't wait for you to come for the wedding!_

_Ron_

Harry reread the letter but it still said the same thing. Something was off, first Hermione had disappeared and now Remus. Harry paced his room in frustration. Worry was coursing through his blood, forcing him to move about randomly. He touched his scar that hadn't burned in a while then moved to his desk. He attempted to sit but his legs itched for him to keep walking. When he passed Hedwig's empty cage he considered cleaning it again but he'd already done that twice yesterday. Finally Harry collapsed on his bed and tried to take a nap, he wasn't sure how much longer he could go without going stir crazy.

_Should I go to Hermione's home?_

This would be the place to start if he wanted to find Hermione, and now Remus. If Remus really had answered Harry's request and gone to find Hermione. He was reluctant to do this though, he was still under age and under the protection of his mother's blood in Petunia's house and if he left, using magic, unsure if he would return by the time he was seventeen, then the protection would be broken.

He half expected the loud pop of disturbance that Dobby created when he Apparated into his room. Harry stared at the tiny elf and sat up. "Dobby!"

"Hello Harry Potter sir!" Dobby bowed and Harry waved impatiently.

"What is it Dobby? Have you heard something?" Harry leaned forward and watched the elf anxiously.

"Yes sir! Dobby had a hard time leaving the castle sir, much to do during the summer. But Dobby has come at last! One week ago, Dobby heard howling of a werewolf outside, near the Forbidden Forest." Harry nodded eagerly. "Dobby recognized Harry Potter's friend Remus Lupin. He entered the forest and changed. Dobby followed him sir." Dobby began to wring his hands.

Harry jumped up. He paced the floor again and gestured wildly. "Where has he gone Dobby? I have to find him!" Harry moved about his room in agitation. He knocked his hand against his dresser and he cursed. He shook it to stop the burning and barely heard the elf's next words.

Dobby shook his head. "No, no, no! Harry Potter cannot go looking for his friend!" Harry froze, and stared at the elf. Dobby was quite shaken, his eyes wide with terror. "Harry Potter's friend has joined the pack of werewolves that resides in the Forbidden Forest! It is much too dangerous for Harry to go there!"

Harry could hardly believe it. "Werewolves? He's joined werewolves? What are you talking about Dobby? Remus can't stand werewolves, they're dark creatures! Remus isn't like that!" He ignored the throbbing in his hand and turned to look at Dobby. He noticed the elf's obvious fear and began to worry.

"But sir! Harry Potter's friend is unrecognizable! He is only half transformed! Half wolf!" Dobby squeaked and put his hands over his eyes. "A most terrifying sight!" Dobby looked back at Harry. "No. Dobby cannot let Harry see his friend this way."

Harry wanted to shake the elf; Dobby always went about trying to help Harry the wrong way. "but if that's true then it's even more reason for me to save him! Come on Dobby I must save him!"

The elf's ears drooped and he looked at Harry sadly. "Harry Potter is a most noble wizard."

"He's my friend Dobby, you must understand." Harry began picking up things around his room; he'd need his wand and food if he was going into the Forbidden Forest. Once he was sure he had enough clothes he ducked out and took food from his Aunt and Uncle's kitchen. They were out and wouldn't even notice he would be gone. He hadn't really left his room since coming there this summer. "Alright Dobby." Harry said as he came back into his room and threw everything into a bag. "Take me to the Forbidden Forest."

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1997:

Dobby stood next to Harry at the edge of the woods. Sick with worry, Harry had finally convinced Dobby to take him in Side-Along Apparation to Hogsmeade and walk with him to Hogwarts.

"Harry Potter cannot go in there sir!" Dobby's eyes widened in fear as he stared into the gloomy forest.

"I have to Dobby! Tell someone where I've gone. Tell them to come help me!" Harry ordered the elf. He felt awful about it, Dobby had always been kind to Harry but he needed to find his friends. Maybe Remus had learned where Hermione had gone. If he truly had joined the werewolves and Harry couldn't convince him to return to Tonks then Harry could at least ask him about Hermione.

"Then Harry Potter must know. The group of werewolves is called the Brotherhood of the Moon. They reject their human side completely! They will not be happy if Harry Potter, any human, tries to find them."

"I'll be careful Dobby. I just need to speak with Remus. I'm sure he'll speak with me." Harry looked into the thick trees and shuddered. He knew the forest was full of unspeakable evils but he had to find his friends, his friends were the only things he had in the world. It was part of being a Gryffindor; his loyalty (and bravery) wouldn't allow Hermione to remain lost.

Dobby remained at the edge of the woods as Harry pushed through the branches of the nearest trees and headed into unknown dangers.

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Still 1997:

Harry tread lightly. He'd been walking for most of the day through the forest. He hadn't come across anyone yet, not even Grawp or the centaurs but night was drawing closer and he still didn't have any clues as to where Remus was. A branch snapped under his foot and he froze in fright. Over the snapping of the twig he was sure he'd heard something. He cocked his head toward where he'd heard the noise and held his breath.

There was the sound again and Harry carefully moved forward. He adjusted the weight of his bag and went along, foot over foot, silently. He'd definitely heard voices ahead of him and he didn't want to be noticed just yet. He got down on his knees and crawled beneath an incredibly large root. Dirt smeared on his hands and knees but he barely noticed, he needed to get closer to hear what those voices were saying. His hand hit against a branch which snapped beneath the weight. He held his breath and listened for the voices to cease. They didn't. Harry inched forward, being much more careful this time.

Harry noticed a glowing light ahead of him, between branches and he inched forward cautiously, the glow looked like it came from a campfire but he doubted it was a family of muggles that were camped out in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.

He army crawled underneath a bush and glanced into a fire lit clearing. A large bonfire dominated the middle and around it sat people who looked human... but weren't. Their eyes shone yellow, and their hair seemed to spread across their bodies more thickly. One reached forward to grab a stick and Harry saw his claws. And most had black robes and used the hoods to cover their faces. They gathered in a large circle and Harry gulped. There must have been about fifty. He would never be able to walk among them without being caught. He scanned the many faces for Moony...There! Harry sucked in his breath. Moony looked almost twenty years younger than the last time he'd seen him. His face glowed with youth and his hair was thick and brown without any patches of grey. He no longer hunched but stood tall with pride. But he had changed in bad ways too. His hands were larger and his fingernails had been traded for claws. His eyes were a sickening yellow color and he was paler than ever. Harry looked away. Harry wanted to sob with regret for not coming for Moony sooner but he had had no way of knowing what had become of Moony. But he held his tongue and got comfortable. He'd have to wait a long time for a chance to save Remus.

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1976:

Hermione tapped her quill aggressively against her paper and glared at the blank page. She had wanted to start this Transfiguration essay early but it looked like she'd never be able to come up with anything to say. It looked like studying in the library was going to be a waste of time once again. Annoyed she set her quill down and glanced up at Sirius who was sitting across from her. He quickly looked back down at his paper when she glanced at him and Hermione rolled her eyes. "I thought you said you were actually going to study Sirius." She raised her eyebrow but he stared down at his blank paper stubbornly.

"I am."

"No. You're not.

"Hermione." Sirius looked up and smirked. "I was not staring at you."

Hermione rubbed her temples and glared at Sirius."Oh really?" It was driving mad the way he would beg to study with her but would just end up staring at her the entire time.

"Really." There was silence while Hermione sighed and went back to blank essay. Then, "Did you know you have this cute little wrinkle in your forehead when you're concentrating?"

Hermione growled and went to smack Sirius upside the head but James sat between them just at that moment and she didn't get the chance. "So guess what!" James looked excited and Hermione was distracted from exacting revenge on Sirius' irritating habits. "I asked Lily if she would be joining us at Hogsmeade tomorrow and she said she'd think about it! Isn't that great?" He went back and forth between his friends but Hermione looked tired and Sirius looked…well he was staring at Hermione.

Sirius chuckled but Hermione looked at James in concern. "That doesn't really sound very promising James."

"Hermione! That's the nicest way she's ever said no before! I'd say its progress." Sirius was now snorting with laughter but James tenaciously ignored him. He looked at Hermione for support instead and she tried to give him an encouraging smile.

"That's great James." She looked at Sirius for back up but he was still laughing. "Would you like me to say something to her?" Maybe she could convince Lily to come with them or risk depressing James.

"Sure Hermione. Hey Sirius! Stop snorting, maybe your animagus should have been a pig."

Sirius immediately stopped laughing and glared at James. "At least I have a date to Hogsmeade." Sirius smirked as he went back to pretend writing his essay and James looked cowed but Hermione looked pissed.

"Excuse me?" She stared at Sirius in disbelief but he was still cheerfully jotting away at his fake essay. "I sincerely hope you're not talking about me."

"Of course I am Hermione." Sirius stared back up at her. "You and I are going, Remus and Doriana, and now I guess Lily and James. Peter is always just _there_ anyways…" He trailed off.

Furiously Hermione stood up. "Forget it!" She grabbed her blank piece of paper and quill and stomped out of the library before Ms. Pince could kick her out for yelling but Sirius was right behind her. He'd grabbed his stuff in a hurry and papers were falling behind him in an absurd looking bread crumb trail.

"Hermione where are you going? You forgot your transfiguration book!" Hermione considered ignoring him but she couldn't just abandon a book. She sighed.

"What Sirius?" She'd gotten about halfway back to the Gryffindor common room but now she forced herself to turn around and face Sirius. She folded her arms over her chest angrily and glared him down but he continued to smile in an infuriating way.

"Your book." He held it up but papers flew everywhere and he bent to pick them up. Sighing Hermione knelt down and helped him. "Thanks." He said cheerfully when all the papers were picked up. Despite her anger Hermione smiled at his childishness. "So…why don't you want to go with me?"

Hermione groaned and glanced behind, she wanted to leave and not ever have this conversation but Sirius was really nice to her, she couldn't just be rude for the heck of it. "Listen…Sirius. I'm really very flattered but…" She looked apologetic but there was no way it would ever work out. "Sirius. I came back twenty years… In the future, you're so much… older." Sirius still looked confused. His forehead was scrunched in confusion and he had his head cocked like a…well a dog. "Ugh!" She wanted to smack his dumb, adorable head. "You're just like a little puppy! It's infuriating!" Sirius perked up and she could imagine his little tail wagging. "Sirius! In my time you're almost forty!" He cringed. "And I'm seventeen. It's just…well it's weird." Hermione sighed and brushed her bangs back. She couldn't look Sirius in the face at the moment so she had no idea Sirius was smiling sadly.

"Hermione." Sirius said her name very softly and Hermione blushed. "Who fucking cares?"

Hermione was startled and she looked at Sirius shocked but he simply shrugged, his facial expression very determined. "W-what?"

"I said who fucking cares? So what if in the future I'm old. I'm also dead so I don't see what the big deal is." Hermione's jaw dropped. "In all honesty Hermione. I like you because you're different. You're a challenge, it's interesting." He shrugged again and Hermione wanted to respond to this but she was still stuck on what he'd said before.

He grabbed her elbow and dragged her into the nearest empty classroom. The door squeaked shut and before Hermione could protest he stood in front of it so she couldn't leave. He looked down at his shoes and took a deep breath. "I don't usually do this Hermione… but I really like you." Hermione's eyes widened. Her tongue was still tied though so she couldn't answer him. "But you need to lighten up. I can see how stressed out you are and seriously," he grinned. "it's not healthy. So just go on this one little date with me, have some fun and in the 'future' I swear I won't give you any grief for it." Hermione looked at Sirius in shock. She couldn't help agreeing with him on some points, she was stressed, but going on a date wasn't going to fix that…Was it?

Hermione rubbed her arm and scuffed her shoe across the floor. She couldn't say no without hurting his feelings, and if he promised it would be the only one. "Oh alright." She tried to push him out of the way but he hugged her instead.

He took a deep breath in and smelled strawberries and mint before grinning. "I promise you'll have fun Hermione." She shoved him away and nodded in agreement.

"Thanks Sirius." Then she ducked under his arm and disappeared down the hall before he could remind her, he still had her book.

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Sirius fell onto his bed and sighed heavily. Hermione's book fell on the floor next to him and he buried his head into the soft down-feather pillow.

"Did you catch her?" James said absently as he folded some of his school robes to put in his dresser. Remus glanced up from his own bed and watched Sirius doubtfully.

"Oh James, I can see why you like Lily. It's so much more fun when they don't like you back." Sirius chuckled as James grumbled before throwing his dirty robe in the basket and putting on pajamas. Remus smiled.

"Lily likes me." James pulled his sheets down and jumped into his bed.

"Yeah she just doesn't know it yet." Remus added as he fluffed his pillow. Sirius laughed heartily.

James glared at Remus but finally sighed. "Maybe you're right." Sirius and Remus looked at each other in disbelief. "Maybe I should give up." Peter gaped at James.

There was silence for a while as they tried to imagine a James that didn't constantly moon over Lily. It was almost impossible. "But…James? She finally said 'maybe'." Remus stared at James in horror.

_Wait a second-_

"Shit!" Remus looked around for a clock. "Shit shit shit shit SHIT!" He shouted as he began throwing random robes on and scrambling to find his prefects badge.

Everyone was now looking at him in doubt; it looked like Moony had finally lost his mind. "I have to guard the corridors tonight with Doriana. Help!" The boys jumped from their beds and helped him find his Prefects badge. Peter pulled it out from under his bed and Remus found a pair of clean robes. "Bye guys!" He shouted as he sprinted out the door and his friends shook their heads in laughter.

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After apologizing profusely for being late Remus was distracted as he walked the halls with Doriana. Even though he politely answered her questions, half his head was back in his room where Sirius had been saying he liked Hermione.

_He only likes her because she doesn't like him…maybe Doriana only likes me because I don't like her?_

Moony watched Doriana's long hair swish behind her as they walked and although he thought she was very pretty, he couldn't see himself ever liking her. "Doriana…" But he needed to get Hermione out of his head. She was driving him insane.

"Yes Remus? " Doriana acted nonplussed but when he looked over again he could see her looking at him hopefully. Her blue eyes were wide with anticipation.

He sighed. "Tomorrow… the Hogsmeade trip. Would you like to go with me?" He asked this in a rush and he worried he'd have to say it again if Doriana hadn't heard him. But when he looked at her, her cheeks were flushed and she was smiling brilliantly.

"Of course!" She said breathlessly and Remus smiled.

_That wasn't so hard. _

But quietly he wondered what Hermione would think of him going with Doriana.

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When Remus came back to the common room it was very late and so he was surprised to find Hermione sitting by the fire. "Hermione!" She jumped and yelped when he called her and she blushed.

"Sorry, you scared me." She brushed her hair away from her face and Remus resisted the urge to grab her hand like he'd seen Sirius do.

"Are you alright?" He realized now that it was very strange for Hermione to up so late and that she seemed confused, she didn't even have homework out to work on, she'd simply been sitting alone.

Hermione sat back down and nodded. "Yes of course." But even to herself she could hear the quiver in her voice.

"A-a-are you sure? Maybe I coul-"

"No it's fine." Hermione cut him off and he stood awkwardly next to her. Finally he sat down and stared into the fire with her.

He wanted her to talk to him, but in order for that to happen, he'd need to open up to her first.

"You know." He started. Hermione was silent, she didn't look up but she did glance at him out of the corner of her eye. "I thought I wouldn't be allowed to come to Hogwarts." It was one of the things that really bothered him, still did, but it was hard for him to speak of it. It was also the only thing he could think of.

Hermione sighed. "Yes, you told me." It wasn't actually that Remus had told her, it had been Harry but it didn't really matter. "In the future." She said when she noticed his surprised look.

Remus smiled. "I'm glad I know you in the future. I'm glad I know you now actually."

"Yes… I'm glad too." But she didn't sound happy. There was something…

"Why did you come back into the past?"

Hermione groaned and covered her eyes. Her elbows landed on her knees and she rubbed at the headache pounding on the bridge of her nose and temples. "Dumbledore. He died. I thought I could save him. But I messed up. I ended up here."

Remus brushed his hand through his hair but it stuck out. "Some things happen for a reason. Fate you know." He thought this hopefully.

_Fate that we are here at the same time. _He glanced at her.

"But you see! That's the thinking that landed me here! I thought that I hadn't returned the Time-Turner for a reason. But everything's topsy-turvy now! I've ruined everything! What kind of future am I going to go back to?" Remus hung his head when he thought of Hermione leaving, the Marauders liked her, liked having Hermione around.

Remus didn't understand completely but he could see Hermione was distraught. "Hey… It will be okay." Hermione sobbed and Remus watched in horror as her shoulders began to shake. "Hermione what's wrong?" He reached out hesitantly and touched her shoulder. With a quick movement Hermione sat up and hugged Remus who tentatively hugged her back. She cried into his shoulder for a while then sat back.

"Oh Remus. It's not just the future, I may be stuck here forever!"

Remus eyes widened and he imagined Hermione staying with the Marauders and himself forever. It wasn't horrible but then he realized Hermione didn't have a home to go to during holidays, no family. "But why?"

Hermione shook her head and Remus finally gave in and brushed some of her hair behind her ear, Hermione didn't notice. "My memories, I'm losing them, slowly but…I've noticed holes, gaps in things. Things that bother me, things I once knew. My brain feels like Swiss cheese. Holes missing." She shuddered and Remus hugged her again. This time Hermione was the one who was surprised but she gratefully accepted his embrace.

"It'll be okay." Remus wasn't sure how things would be okay, he said this to comfort Hermione but she nodded into his shoulder and stopped crying. Remus ignored the scent of strawberries and mint coming off her and tried to hold her tightly. "I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Harry** **Potter does not belong to me in any way, shape or form. This story is just something I've done for my own entertainment.**

**Second Disclaimer: There's a song in this chapter it does not belong to me at all I just really love it! It belongs to Elton John but I was thinking of the version from Moulin Rouge! Ewan McGregor is just so…so…supermegaawesomefoxyhot **** (if you've seen it before just skip the opera bit lol) So hope you guys go check out that movie or something because I highly recommend it or whatever. And yes I know we're not supposed to put lyrics up here but everyone does it.**

**A/N: Thanks you guys who reviewed and stuff and such. **

**Chapter 8**

Hermione touched a tulip that stuck out from the bouquet Sirius had given her. It shifted from purple to white at her touch. Two days later the flowers were still bright and hadn't wilted but the color changing charm had faded and they shifted colors much slower than that first day.

She was beginning to doubt her sanity. Had she really agreed to go on a date with Sirius? Sure he'd been nothing but sweet to her but a sick feeling similar to guilt was settling in the pit of her stomach. Here she was preaching about the importance of laying low in the past and yet she'd agreed to go on a date. With Sirius…Snuffles. Good Merlin, there go the butterflies.

"Are you ready to go Hermione?" Lily stood behind her, stuffing her red hair into a hasty ponytail. She still looked pretty. Hermione dropped her hand from the flower and sighed. Lily had spent a lot of time on Hermione's hair instead of her own, insisting continuously that Hermione was the one with the date, (she'd winced at the word "date") she needed to look good. Hermione checked to make sure she had everything.

She pulled out some coins from her pocket and stopped. _Oh crap. _Hermione read the date on the coins to make sure. Yep. 1992. This money wouldn't be accepted, they hadn't even been made yet. "Uh, Lily? I, um, need to go talk to Dumbledore for a bit... I'll be right back." And with that she turned and dashed out of the dormitory. Lily thought Hermione was incredibly weird sometimes. At first she had only been nice to her because she wanted to be polite. But now she was starting to warm up. Lily shook her head and continued to the Great Hall.

Hermione ran through the halls, trying to think where Dumbledore could be. Most likely his office, she'd head there and pray he was up this early on a Saturday. As she ran portraits called to her to slow down.

Hermione caught up to Dumbledore as he was heading out of his office. The gargoyle jumping back into attention as Hermione caught up to Dumbledore. "Oh thank goodness I caught you!" Hermione wheezed and brushed her hair from her face, Lily would be mad it had been messed up from her sprinting down the halls. "Sir,... my money... they won't accept it."

Dumbledore watched Hermione bend over and grab her knees. She coughed a little then stood straight up. He had no clue what she was talking about. Then- "Ah! Yes I understand! I think a trade is in order then." Dumbledore reached into his pocket for his wallet.

Hermione turned bright red. "Oh sir! No! I can't ask you to do that! Can't you just change the date?"

Dumbledore chuckled then handed her a large wad of cash. "Just pay me back with your future money." Then he walked away.

Hermione checked her watch then shrieked. They would be leaving any second! _Here we go again! _Then Hermione turned and ran all the way back to the front hall.

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James tapped his watch. "She's late."

Lily glanced up the steps for the hundredth time hoping to see Hermione. She bit her lip in anxiety. "Maybe I shouldn't have let her go...Oh! Hermione over here!" Lily waved to Hermione who had appeared at the top of the stairs. Sirius sighed behind her and Lily smiled, he did seem to like Hermione a lot.

"Sorry you guys!" Hermione was breathing hard like she'd run forever. Sirius smiled when he saw her wheezing and trying to comb her hair back. She looked directly at him. "I'm so sorry. Let's go!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him after the last of the students heading out the door.

Remus looked over at Doriana who beamed when their eyes met. She hung on to his arm and he tried to remain positive as they followed Hermione, Sirius, James, Peter and Lily.

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"Where should we go to next?" Hermione watched the other students shuffle past them. Sirius and her and been separated from everyone else when they'd been looking through the quidditch store. James had stuck pretty close to Lily but she didn't seem to mind as much as she usually did. She'd even laughed at one of Sirius' jokes. Now that they were separate she hoped they were getting on alright. When they'd been unable to find the others Sirius had pulled her out and they had wandered the streets for a while. It wasn't as cold as she was used to when they'd go to Hogwarts in the middle of winter and she enjoyed the nice weather. Sirius was excellent company, she'd been sure they would have nothing to talk about since they were so different, him a proud rule breaker and her a dedicated book worm, but he was a pleasant person and didn't dwell on himself. Mostly he asked her about her life in the future but avoided asking about his part in her future. Their date had been fun so far, Sirius was showing her all the sites. He'd asked her if she wanted to see the Shrieking Shake but she'd declined. The outside wasn't as interesting as the inside and she'd seen both. So instead he pulled her toward Honeydukes.

"Honeydukes is always worth a visit." When they reached the shop window Hermione paused. There was a poster with a picture of a smiling family. Missing was spelled out in black across the top and Hermione grabbed Sirius' arm before he could get too far ahead.

"What's this?" Sirius looked at the poster and Hermione was surprised to see his face full of sorrow and regret.

"Someone goes missing every couple of weeks. More often lately though…" He trailed off and Hermione realized what he meant. Voldemort would be coming into power in the last couple of years. Muggleborns and blood traitors would be in danger. Sirius studied her face. "So he's around in your time?" Hermione tried not to betray any emotion but thoughts of Harry made her suck in a breath. "Damn… Thought someone would have done the basterd in by then." Anger flashed across his face and Hermione couldn't look away. Uncomfortable she drew her robes closer around her and pulled him in the direction of Honeyduke's door.

Inside Sirius picked up a box of chocolate frogs and looked at Hermione. He knew he might have said too much, but she seemed down. Voldemort would put a damper on any date after all. He shook his head and shifted his hand through his long hair. With all the students inside they were crushed together. Their shoulders touching and Sirius could smell her strawberry shampoo and minty toothpaste. Putting down the box of frogs he picked up some chocolate covered strawberries. "Let's get these." Hermione nodded and Sirius swallowed down his nervousness. They left the sweet shop and Sirius tugged on her robe. "Three Broomsticks?"

"Yeah, I could use some butterbeer." Sirius tried not to skip as they changed course and headed to the popular pub. Once inside Sirius guided Hermione to a table close to the middle. "Usually I sit on the side, at that table Sirius."

"No no no, sit here." Hermione raised her eyebrows but sat in the wooden chair he held out for her. He went to the bar and ordered two butterbeers. As he walked back, slowly so he wouldn't spill, he watched Hermione's face. She seemed more relaxed then she had in weeks, he was doing his job then.

"Here you go." He pushed the mug in his left hand towards her and she accepted it gratefully.

O

O

O

"See you James. I'm going to stay here. Bye Lily!" Peter nodded at them then headed further into the quidditch shop. Remus had been dragged away by Doriana at least forty five minutes ago.

Abruptly uncomfortable James glanced at Lily. They were alone together. "So uh…what'd you like to do?"

"Well let's get out of this shop. There are too many people." James nodded in agreement and they walked out into the street.

Once they were walking along the lane, bumping past people and forced to stand closer together James spoke again. "I'm glad you came with us Lily."

"Don't read too much into it Potter." But she smiled and James relaxed. Even if she did use his surname.

O

O

O

"Here, have a strawberry." Hermione accepted the chocolate and was reminded of Remus' affinity for the candy.

"Maybe we should have gotten Remus some…" Sirius looked at Hermione strangely but shook it off.

"Yes. He's a bit obsessed really. Always got chocolate. Surprised he's not fat as Peter actually." Hermione snorted into her butterbeer and brushed her bangs back.

Sirius smiled then glanced around the bar, he grabbed her hand. "I'll be right back." Sirius stood and ran away before Hermione could protest. She sat there awkwardly for a moment, wondering where he could have possibly gotten too. Suddenly the lights dimmed and music began to play.

"_My gift is my song"_

Hermione looked around in confusion but so did half the population of the Three Broomsticks.

"_And this one's for you"_

Then Hermione realized Sirius was standing on a table in the middle of the bar…pointing right at her.

"_And you can tell everybody  
That this is your song" _

There were a few wolf whistles and Hermione blushed profusely. What the bloody hell was he doing?

"_It may be quite simple  
But now that it's done"_

Oh my dear Merlin he wouldn't…

"_Hope you don't mind"_

Sirius began to hop across the tables until he was standing in front of Hermione.

"_I hope you don't mind"_

_Yes I freaking mind!_ She blushed furiously with every word he sang. Her heart fluttered in her chest, no one had ever serenaded her before. And he did have a nice voice…

"_That I put down in words  
How wonderful life is now you're in the world" _

At the word world Sirius grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her up onto the table next to him. The wood creaked but she could barely hear it over the music. She stared around the building, every eye was fixed on her and Sirius but she couldn't meet his eye. Her heart pounded in her head and she could feel the heat in her cheeks. Everyone in the Three Broomsticks was clapping and whistling. People were joining Sirius in singing and Hermione wished more than anything that she had an invisibility cloak. This was mortifying.

"Anyway the thing is what I really mean  
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen"

He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. He was smiling brilliantly and waggled her eyebrows at her. The whole thing was just so ridiculous she laughed which just made Sirius smile brightly at her. His hand traced her jaw from her chin to ear. 

"It may be quite simple  
But now that it's done

_I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words"_

Hermione was surprised she couldn't stop laughing, she wasn't sure when she'd ever felt this embarrassed before but at least she was having fun. Sirius had been right. She did need to relax, to stop and smell the roses. Or color changing flowers.

"_How wonderful life is now you're in the world  
I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words  
How wonderful life is now you're in the world"_

Thankfully, that was the end and Sirius made a show of bowing while the rest of the Three Broomsticks patrons clapped enthusiastically. Hermione watched him parade around a bit, a twinkle of mischief in his eye and she shook her head in disbelief. There were no words to describe Sirius Black's insanity.

"Yes yes that's Sirius Black everyone! Remember that! I'm here all week!" More laughter followed this. His voice trailed off and Hermione blushed an even deeper shade of red as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. His breath tickled her cheek but he didn't linger. She jumped from the table and flicked her hair.

"Come on then, before you're over inflated head explodes." But Sirius saw the slight smile on her lips and didn't protest as he followed her out of the bar.

"Wow, I didn't know Sirius was capable of something so… romantic." Doriana took another sip of her butterbeer as she watched Hermione drag Sirius out of the Three Broomsticks.

"Hm." Remus grunted and glared into the foam of his own drink. A few minutes ago he'd wanted nothing more than something to knock back after following Doriana around on her endless list of stores that she just "had" to visit. Apparently that had been a mistake, especially since they'd walked in right as the music was starting. Remus had seen Hermione's expressions go from shock, embarrassment then, uncontrollable laughter. Then Sirius had kissed her cheek and they were gone…Remus couldn't figure it out, but annoyance tugged at his belly and he scooted the delicious drink away from him.

O

O

O

Hermione walked down the street, her steps brisk and determined, Sirius keeping pace with her. He would look over at her nervously every once in a while. Hermione bit her lip to stop from laughing, she needed to act furious.

"Sooo." Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, the hair stuck out at an odd angle and Hermione bit her lip harder. "What did you think?"

Hermione stopped suddenly in the middle of the street and Sirius almost fell on her. He brushed off her shoulders before gripping them gently. His had to duck his head to look at her eye level and he looked at her with a very determined face. "Hermione…be serious here…"

Without thought Hermione burst into laughter and wrapped her arms around his neck. "That was the sweetest most amazing thing anyone's ever done for me Sirius." She stood on her tiptoes and gently kissed him on the cheek. Sirius was embarrassed to feel heat rise to his cheeks.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, well, you deserve it Hermione."

Hermione wasn't sure what it was, but Sirius made her feel more…more everything. "Thanks…well, I wanted to go to the bookstore…"

"Of course! Let's go!" Sirius hooked his arm through hers and they laughed all the way down the street.

O

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After Sirius had followed her around the shop, browsing the books, annoying the hell out of her, she pushed him to the quidditch section. "Stay here!" She laughed as he looked confused before she slipped away and wandered the shop alone. She wasn't sure where she was but she breathed in the amazing smell of new books and paper. It was a calming smell and she ran her fingers over one of the shelves. Dust collected on her fingers which she rubbed against her robes absently. Sadness welled in her. Meeting these people, Lily, Sirius, Remus, James… it was too much. Seeing them alive and well and so…happy just made her feel guilty. Here she was, in a position to change things for the better, to let Harry have the parents he'd always wanted. The parents he deserved and yet… What if she messed up? What if…in her efforts to change everything for the better, she just made everything worse.

If Harry's parents didn't die, then Harry would never defeat Voldemort the first time. What if she got Peter out of the picture and he never revealed the Potter's location, so instead, Voldemort would go after Neville and his parents…Was Neville capable of the same great things as Harry? There were too many scenarios, too much uncertainty. But the sight of Sirius…singing to her on that table and then falling through the veil, made her chest ache. She forced back the moisture in her eyes and glared at the books. Then there was the truth that she would slowly lose her memories. What if she tried to fix something, like Sirius dying and forgot about it… She was useless. Before more dark and depressing thoughts could overtake her, Hermione picked up a random book and shuffled through the pages. She'd think of this another time…Today was about being happy and spending time with Sirius.

She stood there, reading the titles of every book that caught her eye for a long time before she went back to the quidditch section. The only person there was a boy with dark long hair, huddled over a book.

"There you are Sirius!" Hermione approached the dark haired boy from behind. He didn't look up from the book he was reading. So she gave him a quick hug.

"What the-!" Sirius shouted. He shoved her off but tripped over his feet and fell against the bookcase. It wobbled and Hermione watched in alarm as books began to drop to the floor. His head was turned so all she could see was his profile and she was alarmed to see it was unfamiliar.

"Who are you?" Hermione objected. He moved so quickly she could hardly believe it when he covered her mouth with one hand and pulled her against his torso with the other. Hermione struggled and clawed at his arms as he dragged her behind a bookcase.

She gasped in pain as he slammed her against the back of one of the bookcases. Through her watery eyes she watched him put a finger to his lips in the standard shushing symbol.

Rage gurgled in Hermione's throat as she struggled harder against the stronger boy. Who was he? She'd mistaken him for Sirius, and for good reason, they had the same grey eyes and long black hair and athletic build. They could be twins, however, this boy wasn't as handsome, his nose more crooked, his eyes not filled with laughter but haughty and proud. At least he was a Hogwarts student; she'd noted the Slytherin crest on his breast.

"Shut up girl! Listen for one second!" He hissed into her ear. The fury and adrenaline that had built in her chest and throat died, replaced by fear. He was so close to her, her nose was buried into his neck and his breath was hot on her ear. His shoulders blocked her view and his fingers felt hot over her lips. A dull ache started behind her eyes. She was going to be attacked, and no one knew where she was except Sirius. Heaven only knew where he was. Tears trailed down her cheeks and when one drop of water fell on the boy's pinky he jerked back. His hand was still covering her half her face but he stood away. "No no no no no please don't cry. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't cry!" He still whispered and his free hand shook in front of her face. Hermione sniffed but blinked rapidly. "I'll move my hand but promise you'll be quiet." Hermione nodded and he slowly withdrew his hand. He pointed and Hermione followed his finger to a red haired girl talking quietly to a greasy haired Slytherin.

Hermione gasped when she realized it was Lily talking to Snape. She strained her ears to hear what they were saying.

"-believe you'd do that Lily. I thought you agreed that he was a toerag."

"Sev, don't be like that."

Hermione had to control herself when Snape grabbed Lily's shoulders. "Please Lily. Please stop being mad at me. I've said I was sorry. Please don't be their friend…" Lily didn't speak. "Best friends forever?" Hermione was unsure what to think. Snape had killed Dumbledore and been a complete git to Harry for no reason for years. And yet here…he was so pathetic. She could've sworn he was forcing back tears.

"Sev I-"

"What's going on Lily? I thought we were heading to the Three Broom…." James walked around the corner and Hermione stifled back a gasp. He looked furious to see Snape touching Lily. Had he grown up enough to not curse Snape into the next century?

"James!" For her credit Lily sounded flustered and her cheeks burned red.

Hermione moved to intervene but someone grabbed her shoulder. She glanced back and saw the Sirius doppelganger, she'd forgotten he was there. He touched his lip again, telling her to remain quiet.

"Snape." Hermione jerked back to the scene and prayed James was rational. "Lily?" James looked at Lily curiously. "Is everything alright here?" He sounded strange as if he was forcing back a curse.

"Fine Potter!" Snape spat and dropped his hands from Lily's shoulders.

Lily slowly moved away from Snape and stood next to James. He looked a little surprised but tried not to show it. "Let's go." She ducked her head and moved to the front door quickly. James stood for a moment then nodded at Snape before following her out. The sneer on Snape's face was familiar but there was also a tightening around his eyes that Hermione had never seen before. His jaw twitched and Snape also left. Hermione turned back to the boy.

"Why were you spying?" She scolded. He raised an eyebrow and unlike Sirius he didn't smirk at her.

"None of your business." He glared at her. "Better go find my brother shouldn't you?"

"Brother?"

He snorted. "The great Sirius Black…" His sneer rivaled Snape's at that moment. "That's who you thought I was, right?"

"Well yes I…" She trailed off then remembered her manners. "Hermione Granger." She held out her hand and the boy studied it for a moment before reluctantly grabbing it.

"Regulus. Regulus Arcturus Black."

"Pleasure…I suppose." Ah yes…she should've remembered him. Sirius had mentioned him in her own time. This present Sirius had not, however.

"I'm sure." Said a different voice and Hermione glanced up in surprise. Sirius stood a little way off from them. He was glaring at their joined hands and with embarrassment Hermione realized how close they were standing. She backed off and dropped Regulus' hand. The future Death Eater. "We should go." With a final glare at his own brother Sirius turned from them and headed out the door of the book store.

"Goodbye." Hermione murmured before following. She had a lot to think about.

**A/N: Sorry it took a while to get this up. I was****having internal moral debates about putting this song up here but I figured what the hell. ****Just imagine Hermione's face when she sees Sirius on top of that table. Sigh. *wipes away tears of laughter* ANYWAYS! Hope you guys liked it! Review! Let me know what you think. See ya in chapter 9!**


	9. Chapter 9

**This one's freakishly long :) Sorry about the wait but I finally finished writing this and i can't figure out how to get it up so I guess I'll keep adding to it… Thanks to everyone that reviewed!**

**Chapter 9**

"_Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others...for the countless unknown souls with whose __fate__ we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.__" Albert Einstein_

When Sirius and Hermione left the book store, they were amazed to find it had started raining. Sheets of rain pounded on the stones of the street and dull thuds were the only sound as the drops hit the roofs of the stores. Figures had their hoods up over their heads and were sprinting into the nearest building. Hermione and Sirius were soaked the moment they stepped out onto the street. They huddled for a while in the store's doorway and Hermione watched a muscle twitch in Sirius' jaw while he remained silent. She began to shiver violently as the rain persisted, Sirius noticed this after a few moments and handed her his cloak. It was a nice gesture but now he was the one shivering violently. She wanted to say they should go back into the bookstore but, knowing Sirius, he would refuse in order to save face in front of his little brother.

Instead she watched him. His head hung and hair swayed in front of his eyes, dripping a steady stream of rain water. His arms were folded over his chest and his stance was tense, his back straight and feet wide. She wished she could move to the joke store across the street but the muscle in his jaw was still jumping. "Do you know him in the future?" His voice was flat and devoid of emotion and Hermione didn't need to ask who he was talking about.

"No." She answered honestly. His head jerked up in surprise and Hermione watched his eyes widen and drop his tense stance.

"So we're still fighting in the future?" His voice was now betraying a hint of sadness. Her chest became tight and she felt nauseous. She didn't have any siblings, but she'd watched the Weasleys, who fought bitterly but were a close knit family unit and she'd seen their response to Percy's betrayal. The future Sirius must have been jaded, he'd had years to cometo terms with the fact that his brother had joined Voldemort. As far as she knew, Regulus hadn't joined the Death Eaters until he graduated Hogwarts. But this younger Sirius had only recently left home, the pain of losing a brother must still be a fresh wound. "He'll never forgive me." Sirius said unexpectedly and Hermione jumped at the emotion in his voice. "I left him all alone in that house…" He trailed off and Hermione watched his face harden. He looked up at her and, seeing the surprise in her face, gave her an encouraging smile. Hermione didn't smile back.

His stubbornness and general idiocy reminded her too much of Ron and his refusal to even speak with Percy. Her parents sprung to her mind, what she'd had to give up for the greater good, and Hermione's jaw tightened. You needed family, no matter how much you fought and disagreed. She'd give anything to see Harry, Ron, her parents, even the Weasleys again. And here Sirius obviously wished to speak with Regulus and he wouldn't, it was maddening. "Well maybe, you should stop being such a stubborn git!" Her voice rose and Sirius was stunned by the force behind it. Who knew such a small person could yell so forcefully.

"Excuse me?" He hissed.

"It might be presumptuous of me but-"

"You're right, it is presumptuous." He interrupted her. Sirius crossed his arms and looked at Hermione down his nose, his deep set, grey eyes flashing dangerously. His demeanor was reminiscent of Draco Malfoy's haughty aristocratic attitude.

"But." Hermione emphasized. "I also know how this all turns out Sirius _Black_." She snorted. Hermione stalked over to him and with each word poked his hard chest. "You. Are. Too. Stubborn!" Sirius' eyes darkened and Hermione was reminded of the Sirius she really knew, the Sirius that had spent twelve years in Azkaban and lived off rats for months. The Sirius that had rashly ran to his death. Young Sirius hadn't been through those things yet, but he clearly had the strength to. Hermione dropped her hand and sighed. "I just mean Sirius, that if I had a brother, I wouldn't waste half my life hating him. I would go back in there and talk to him….If he was my brother."

"What are you not telling me?" He asked her hesitantly. The hard look in his grey eyes had gone and instead he looked young again, confused.

"You'll regret it, if you don't." Hermione nodded. In all honesty she had no idea if Sirius really did miss his younger brother in the future, he definitely thought Regulus was a fool for joining Voldemort, but there had to be some brotherly love left between them, didn't there? She hoped so because she couldn't bring herself to tell him that Regulus would die young and that once Sirius left Hogwarts he would never see his brother again.

Sirius glared down at Hermione. His shoulders were squared and on edge. "I won't. He's an idiot! He thinks Death Eaters and purebloods have got it right! That muggleborns are less than dirt and muggles the scum on the bottom of his boot! I hate them. I hate purebloods. I hate my family. I hate_ him_!" At the last word he shook slightly.

Hermione bit her lip. He'd always been too hot tempered and rash.

Sirius had said that Regulus had been killed by Voldemort himself because he'd tried to leave. Maybe if he had the help of Sirius he would never join in the first place. Sirius was a hot head and a rash fool but he was a brave fool who really did know right from wrong. Sirius could help Regulus, she just knew it. And Hermione wasn't the type of person to not give advice, or an answer to a difficult question when she knew the answer. "Please Sirius. He's your brother and I know you love him!" She brushed rain water off her forehead and cheeks and glared at a very wet Sirius. "You can save him!" She sucked in a breath when she realized what she had said. His eyes widened at this but he didn't press for details. Instead they stood there in the rain, their clothes soaking and Sirius shaking.

Sirius didn't respond right away. Maybe he wasn't so stubborn, after all; if she'd yelled at Ron in a similar manner he would've refused to speak to her for a week. Sirius seemed the opposite, reflective, pondering what she'd suggested. "I'll think about it. But not today."

"Not exactly what I was hoping for, but I'll accept it." She smiled slightly and nervously held out her hand. He stared at her long pale fingers in bewilderment before she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the downpour, towards Hogwarts. He resisted at first but after a few steps he relented and allowed her to pull him along. Her hand was small, especially compared to his. The precipitation drenched her curls quickly so they ran down her back without so much as bouncing. Her fingers were intertwined with his, and she was reminded of Ron again. She wasn't sure what brought it on but her unrequited love this year hung over her head. She'd never been able to shake off the hurt she'd felt when Ron hadn't asked her to the Yule Ball and then this year, with Lavender… If he liked her back he had a funny way of showing it. But Sirius wasn't like that. She chanced a glance over her shoulder and Sirius gave her a small smile. No, Sirius seemed proud that he liked her, unlike Ron who'd always seemed embarrassed by his feelings for her. She assumed Sirius felt that way after he'd sung to her. Her cheeks burned at the memory. Seeing what it was like to have someone openly say that they liked her was refreshing. Maybe it wouldn't be so wrong if she explored it. She couldn't actually date Sirius, it'd be too weird, but if he wanted to give her flowers and just hold hands like this, she could live with it.

Sirius' breath hitched in his throat when she looked back smiling, her rain drenched hair falling in her eyes and her cheeks pink despite the cold. And he considered what she'd told him about regretting this fight with Regulus. It was true already, he did regret their separation, they hadn't spoken much since Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor, and he missed his brother. Regulus had been a lifesaver in the noble house of Black. When they had been younger Sirius had been able to tell him his doubts about their upbringing and fears of their cousin Bellatrix. He'd assumed that their estrangement was temporary, and that other families with sons so close in age had the same problems and that they'd all eventually work themselves out. Now he realized that this had been foolhardy to believe such a thing. After all, the Black family was not like other families, his mother devoid of love but full of hatred, ignorance and prejudice, and his father absent and tolerant of his wife's severity. Not to mention the physical and verbal abuse that had finally pushed him out the door. He hadn't really thought about what might be happening to Regulus without Sirius there to take the brunt of their mother's temper. Without his protective older brother, Reg would suffer and resent his leaving. No, he couldn't hope to mend the rift between his brother and himself unless he took the initiative and approached his younger brother first. Hermione was right but he wondered sadly what she'd meant by Reg needing saving.

They sprinted back to Hogwarts lost in their thoughts and not speaking. Both were soaking wet by the time they reached the castle and would've received detention from Filch if half the school wasn't also saturating the stone floor.

The rain didn't let up for the entire week; it was like the rain was reflecting everyone's melancholy moods. Or maybe the moods were a reflection of the weather. In any case, every student in the castle was visibly drooping. Being locked up with the depressed population was driving Hermione up the wall and she cursed the rain. Even the rumors about Sirius' public spectacle were half hearted and Hermione was only slightly teased for the embarrassing display of affection. To make matters worse, the darkest moods in the bleak castle were Hermione's four friends, Lily, Sirius, James, and Remus, brooding about separate things.

During dinner on Tuesday, Hermione learned why Lily was upset when she saw her friend glance at the Slytherin table. Snape was sitting next to a few burly looking seventh years, his hair hanging around his face limply. At the sight of him Hermione noted the skin around Lily's mouth turn white. Hermione nudged her side gently and Lily looked away from her best friend. Reluctantly, Lily explained that Snape wasn't speaking with her and that it had something to do with that "toerag Potter". Her vicious statements about James made Hermione curious about what had happened when they'd left the bookstore. But she couldn't exactly ask without revealing she knew exactly why Snape was mad.

James had only heard her say Potter and he had looked up eagerly. "Yes Lily?" Sirius snorted behind his glass of pumpkin juice and Remus gave the handsome prankster a half-hearted, stern glance.

"Go away." Lily said angrily before slamming her glass down and standing. She left the Great Hall and Hermione noted Snape watching Lily's sudden departure. When she'd gone, Snape looked back to the Marauders and met Hermione's eyes. Hurriedly he went back to dinner and his harassed expression amused Hermione immensely. She'd never seen Snape look uncomfortable. She'd have to to tell Harry about this.

James was downcast for the rest of the week, as Lily didn't join their side of the table and put him down every chance she got. He'd been cheerful at first, especially when relating the scene (she'd witnessed herself ) to Hermione. But Lily had snapped at him several times and it had stomped out his previous lighthearted behavior. He'd been sure things would be different between them, seeing as she had been perfectly pleasant to him at Hogsmeade and he suspected the sudden change of heart had something to do with that slimy git Snivellus. He'd thought he'd done well, not hexing Snape into oblivion when he'd seen Snape touching Lily in the bookstore. He'd actually heard the entire conversation behind a bookcase and he'd been astounded at his own self control. Hermione had been right; Lily had been impressed by his maturity. But now she was going back to being, well…a cow. What the hell did she want from him anyway? What did he have to do to prove how much she meant to him?

Sirius met Hermione's eyes over the dinner table after Lily left and gave her a cheeky wink. She rolled her eyes but this just made him smile wider. Despite his shallow good mood Hermione had noticed he was quieter than usual and the smile he gave her didn't reach is eyes. She wondered at this and Hermione worried over his relationship with his brother. At least that's what she hoped his mood was over, and not their date. They had kept up a constant banter that came easy to her, like when she was with Harry. If she'd been with Ron she could just imagine the awkwardness they would've felt and spent the whole time in silence. Why was she comparing Sirius to Ron anyways? She'd thought it had been fun after all. Except for the singing, that had just been bloody ridiculous.

Unfortunately Remus had seen the interaction between Hermione and Sirius and his eyes narrowed at his delicious pork. _Damn meat won't cut_; he thought viciously and speared the stubborn piece with his fork. Peter sat in the middle of all the hostilities and spoke pleasantly about a new racing broom that was coming out over Christmas break. His hands moved animatedly over his untouched dinner plate and Sirius and James tried their best to respond at the appropriate times. Remus was as grumpy as if the full moon was the following day. He completely ignored Peter and didn't notice Hermione was doing the same. No one was really sure why he had such a bad attitude but his friends received the brunt of it. He had yelled at Doriana for neglecting a prefect duty and she was avoiding the Gryffindor table. But Hermione had caught her staring wistfully at the quiet Marauders (and Hermione) on several occasions. As much as she didn't like her, Hermione could've used someone to talk to, in a good mood, besides _Peter_.

This wasn't the only meal that passed unpleasantly for the rest of the week and Hermione's high from getting out of the castle wore off quickly. The grey walls and floor and classrooms and attitudes wore her down until she felt like screaming. But the rain continued and effectively drove everyone in the Hogwarts castle insane.

It wasn't until the weather began to lighten up and Lily smiled for the first time in a week that Hermione spoke with her about her date with Sirius.

"He did WHAT?"

"I know… it was completely embarrassing." Hermione was bemused at Lily's horrified expression. Her mouth in a perfect "o" and her hands frozen in mid-air, she'd been folding her clean robes. The clean one she'd been holding was in a wrinkled mass on the immaculate floor.

"I think it's sweet." Alice said cheerfully from behind her bed hangings.

"Thank you Alice." Hermione smiled while she picked up Lily's dropped robe. Alice stepped out and shook out her brown hair before stuffing it into her usual ponytail.

Lily ignored them. "I would've hexed him to next Tuesday! I mean_ singing_? Is he on drugs?" Regretting telling Lily already, Hermione fixed her quilt on her bed.

"Well, his heart was in the right place…" Hermione glanced at the flowers, each pristine and not wilted but all pure white, the color changing charm had finally worn off. She defended the silly boy only to disagree with Lily, whose mad mood swings were giving Hermione whiplash. Kind of like Harry…

"Exactly! Frank would probably never do such a thing, he's not very romantic…But he's very sweet!" She needlessly defended her boyfriend. "But if he did…" She sighed wistfully and dazed out their window and Hermione snorted.

"Good Godric. If James tried anything like that I swear I'd never speak to him again!"

"What about Sev?" Alice teased and Lily turned red. But Hermione was unsure if it was from fury or mortification.

"Alice!"

Alice laughed calmly at Lily's stunned face and moved next to Hermione. "I think you should date Sirius!"

"WHAT?" Lily shouted across the room and Hermione couldn't help but agree.

"It was a onetime thing Alice…"

"Hermione's much too smart for any one of those idiots!" Hermione had a sinking suspicion Lily wasn't actually talking about Hermione, but herself. She'd heard that Lily resisted James until their seventh year but this was just ridiculous. How could they possibly be so in love to get married?

"Remus is quite intelligent! And do you honestly think he would hang out with them if they were truly as dumb as you say Lily? They're smart; they just don't try as hard as they should." Alice said reasonably. This was true, Hermione had noticed during her tutor sessions that they really were intelligent but seemed determined to be troublemakers and remain at Hogwarts and be Peter Pans in Neverland forever.

"James and his _cronies_," she said scathingly. "Are a band of fools!"

"There's a thin line between love and hate Lily Evans." Alice shook her head disapprovingly.

Lily's mouth hung open in shock. "You're not suggesting-"

"No. But you _are_ very close dear! I mean… James isn't so bad. He stopped playing around with that snitch and carrying it everywhere didn't he? And he doesn't hex Severus every chance he gets… "

"But he does that stupid head toss thing. Messing up his hair because he thinks it's cool… he looks like an idiot!"

Hermione snorted. "James will _love_ to hear about this."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Lily sighed and ran her shaking hand through her soft waves of hair. "I'm sorry. I don't know what it is but Potter just makes me feel so…angry and frustrated."

"It's true, normally she's a very pleasant person but bring up James and she grows claws." Alice confirmed and affectionately patted Lily's head.

Lily rolled her eyes but didn't deny it.

"You shouldn't let him affect you so much my dear." Alice spoke urgently and an uncomfortable Hermione looked out the window.

"You're right of course." Lily muttered.

Sun was finally peaking out from behind stone colored clouds. The Forbidden forest's trees dripped and Hermione admired the sparkling grass. She'd been thinking about going to see Hagrid, who she knew was still grounds keeper. She missed him and wondered what he'd think of a random student coming to visit. Out of no where the saw something white standing out against the green scenery. It was getting closer and she realized it was an owl but it didn't belong to the school. Hermione watched the snowy owl fly past the window and she held back a gasp. The only owl she'd seen so white had been Hedwig. Who had such a beautiful owl, she wondered. But now her thoughts went to Harry and she wondered how he was... of course he wasn't alive yet. Ugh, time travel was so confusing.

"But you _did_ ditch me…" Confused by the sudden change in discussion Hermione's gaze went between the two witches. She must have zoned out of the conversation.

Lily rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in exasperation. "Merlin Alice, no one likes Herbology but you! And you know it was either that or Potions! How am I supposed to become an Auror with Herbology?"

"I'm managing." Alice said hotly.

"You like Herbology?" Hermione clung to the subject change and watched Alice's face light up.

"Yes they're fascinating, aren't they? Plants I mean. Did you know there's a plant that will help you breathe underwater? How cool is that?" Hermione held back a laugh.

"Now you've got her started." Lily joked from her place on her bed. She seemed in a better mood and Hermione was impressed by the friendship Alice and Lily seemed to have. Her eyes were no longer cloudy in indecision and frustration. Her small tabby cat jumped up by her side and Hermione enviously watched the kitten purr as Lily absently tickled its forehead. Try something like that with Crookshanks and you'd lose a finger.

Alice didn't snap back, content that Lily was back to her usual self.

Hermione went to her bed and laid out over the made up quilt. Her thoughts still stuck on the white owl and Harry. What would he tell her if he was here? Maybe to relax… or maybe ask her what she'd learned about the Horcruxes. He'd want her to be spending her time learning what she could so when she got back…if she got back.

"Are you okay Hermione?" Lily asked gently.

Startled Hermione shook herself and looked over at Lily, whose green eyes were wide in concern and Hermione felt sick as they reminded her of Harry again. He would always give her that same look and ask if she was feeling okay when she'd go on a mental tangent.

"I'm fine Lily." She smiled but stood and grabbed her things, planning to go to the library to study and clear her head.

O

O

O

The one good thing from the melancholy and rain was that Sirius' wooing of Hermione had fallen on the wayside. She was finally able to concentrate in classes without his leg constantly bumping hers under the table. But when it came time for picking partners in Potions he was slow to sit next to her, and without Lily's friendship, Snape was partnered with Hermione. She eyed him as he dropped his bag in the seat next to her. His greasy black hair hanging down and obscuring most of his face except for is long, beaky nose.

"Do you mind?" She did. But it wasn't like he had any friends except for Lily and she was seated with Remus. And she'd made the resolution to not judge him based on his future decisions.

She conveniently forgot about her refusal to even speak to Peter.

She had a grudging respect for Snape, even though he had killed Dumbledore and by all rights was kind of the reason she was stuck in 1976, he had also been her professor and she was unable to deny his brilliance that matched her own. He was (or would become) a powerful wizard. Not to mention she was curious about the connection between Lily and Snape.

"No, of course not."

Slughorn flicked his wand at the board which revealed a recipe for a fairly simple potion. She heard Severus sigh next to her and she tried to not smile too much. It was clear to most everyone in the class that Snape was bored with the curriculum. Slughorn shuffled to their table and leaned heavily on the edge. He rapped on the wood with his knuckles and Hermione and Snape looked up at him expectantly. "You two are far enough ahead. I think while everyone's doing their Pleasant Dreams potion, why don't you try the harder sleep potion, Draught of Living Death. It's on page, ten. " Despite Hermione's efforts, her brilliance had shone through and nearly every Professor was quite impressed with her essays and work ethic. This had kind of annoyed her considering when she _did_ try everyone seemed to find her annoying and now that she didn't really care, they were all impressed. Typical. Slughorn winked at Hermione then shuffled over to James whose potion was already smoking odiously.

Hermione groaned at the familiar potion and glanced at Snape. He avoided her gaze and pulled his potion's book closer to himself, his nose almost pressed against the pages. She wondered how Snape and Lily had met; Alice had mentioned it was before Hogwarts. The scene in the book store had been nagging at her for the past couple of days. The look that had flickered across Snape's face as Lily moved towards James had been… strange. It was a cross between rage and betrayal and it was unlike any expression she'd seen him use before. Usually his trademark sneer was plastered permanently on his face, but this younger Snape must not have had as much control as Professor Snape.

Mostly they worked in silence, unless (as annoyingly as possible) Snape would direct her to the supply closet. She could see why he drove the Marauders crazy and they teased him so. She could not see, however, why Lily was so distraught they weren't friends. He must only be nice to her.

She noticed he strayed from the text fairly often but she was nervous about trying to admonish him. Snape had been the one to teach her all he knew about potions and she felt foolish correcting him. But his methods produced good results, better results actually.

There was one point though, when it came time in the potion where the book said to cut the sopophorous bean. Snape attempted this several times before Hermione sighed. Her trepidation, similar to when she'd given that advice to Sirius, returned and she glared at Snape's knife. If Snape didn't know about the crushing of the bean then it would never get in the Half Blood Prince's notes and Harry would never win that Felix Felices. _She_ would actually… But Harry did need the Felix Felices more than she did; stupid conscious. "Try crushing it… with the blade. Juice will come out better." Snape stared at her for a long moment. But to her surprise he tried it and thanked her before adding this to his notes.

_You're welcome Harry. _She thought bitterly.

A twitchy first year entered the classroom and stared wide eyed at the extremely adult looking sixth years. Slughorn made his way over to the boy and lightly patted his shoulder." Are you lost?"

"N-n-no." The little boy squeaked and wordlessly handed Slughorn a square envelope.

Hermione was surprised to hear Snape snort next to her. _Professor_ Snape was too dignified to 'snort'. But this sixteen year old boy was not an adult, she chastised herself, she needed to remove Severus Snape from her mental pedestal. "Poor thing." She muttered and Snape looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"He's just a first year." He said haughtily as he stirred their potion with no hesitation.

"Yes well... I remember being that small. People constantly picking on you, when you're older you forget how it felt at that age."

Snape didn't answer but continued to stir. He got picked on no matter what size he was.

"Hermione! A word?" Slughorn called from where the first year had been moments before but had apparently left. "That boy brought this for you." He handed over a square envelope with her name across the front in loopy script.

Meanwhile Snape was finishing the potion, thinking of his pretty Gryffindor partner. Hermione was a perplexing girl, she'd been civil yet distant throughout the class and he felt he might have been needlessly rude, mostly because he'd figured she must be a twit to be going out with some wanker like Sirius. But she'd been polite in response and had taken his orders in stride. Not to mention she'd actually given him good advice about the potion, which meant she was smart. Normal Gryffindors didn't take well to being bossed around, in his experience, but she'd been compliant, even willing to learn something from him. She held him in respect; he might as well be respectful in turn, he reasoned.

She returned and he watched her stuff a letter down into bag. The loopy script of Headmaster Dumbledore was discernable before the heavy parchment disappeared. He was not a rude Gryffindor though, so he didn't ask what it was about, instead he finished their potion and conjured a flask. "You _surprising,_ did well today."

She seemed shocked at the backhanded compliment and stared at him unblinking and he wondered vaguely what Potter and Black had said about him before shoving the thought away. He filled the bottle with the pale lilac potion and stoppered the flask before handing it to her unceremoniously. "Thanks." She muttered as she took the fragile flask.

"Lily speaks very highly of you." He nodded in approval, it was another reason he'd decided to be friendly to the Gryffindor. Lily had mentioned a new student who'd come under strange circumstances but was quite brilliant and kind, even if she was friends with Potter and Black.

On more familiar ground than Snape complimenting her, Hermione smiled. "Yes, Lily's been very sweet. A little sad lately.." Hermione trailed off and bit her lip, wondering if she should tell Snape that Lily was sad without him. Probably not, but it was too late.

His smirk was firmly in place. "Can't imagine why." He sniffed and finished putting away their supplies along with the rest of the class. "Goodbye Granger." He said cordially and Hermione stared after him in shock.

O

O

O

"You did WHAT?"

Sirius chuckled at the expression on James face. "She seemed to like it." Remus looked equally if not more shell shocked than James at this declaration.

"Are you out of your bloody mind?" James hissed his eyebrows drawn together in complete disbelief. "Can you imagine what Lily would do to me if I pulled something like that? You're lucky Hermione didn't strangle you."

"Merlin, you two need to chill." Sirius chucked a dirty robe in his hamper and scoured the floor for anymore of his. Why on earth they all had to wear the same boring black robes was beyond him. It made laundry day even more torturous than necessary.

"Quit bugging her! You look like an arse." James followed Sirius' tail closely. His glasses slipping down his nose and his hair seemed to be standing on end in agitation.

Sirius snorted. "Do you realize how insane that sounds Prongs? How's mooning after Lily any different?"

Peter laughed from his bed and turned the page in his transfiguration book. It was the first time he'd opened it all term, if his last test with a giant red "T" at the top was any indication.

Sirius pointed to the still chuckling boy. "See. Even Peter thinks you're getting a bit pathetic mate. Which is saying something. No offence Wormy."

"None taken."

Remus was knocked out of his silence by Peter's words. "Bloody hell. You're a nutter Paddy. A bloody nutter."

"You know Moony, I don't really want to hear that from you. I mean you've got Doriana here, wrapped around your furry little finger. And you won't give her the bloody time of day. Hypocrisy I tell you. Pure hypocrisy."

Moony growled but had nothing to respond with, Padfoot spoke the truth. Why didn't he just give Doriana a chance? Although, the Hogsmeade trip hadn't been very promising. "I don't like her alright. I tried, I really did. But I just… I just can't." His friends met his confession with embarrassed silence. "I don't deserve someone anyway. Not with my…condition. It wouldn't be fair to the girl." Remus dropped his head and gently rubbed his prefects badge. He wished he could chuck it out the window and let it roll across the grounds.

"Hey now." James approached Remus, he put his hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Don't say that. Any girl would be lucky to have you." Remus cleared his throat but moisture burned the back of his eyes. He would not cry though. He refused to. He rubbed his nose in agitation.

"Exactly." It seemed the fight was stalled; Sirius also came to Remus' side and hit his back, the boy version of a hug. "You're a much better bloke than us three put together! If there's no hope for you than there's no hope for us." Sirius was smirking but his eyes displayed concern for his werewolf friend. Sirius hadn't meant to push him.

Remus snorted as Peter also joined the group and patted his other shoulder. "We'll always be here for you mate."

Remus was touched. Warmth filled his chest and he took a deep breath. When he'd come to Hogwarts he'd never dreamed anyone would talk to him, let alone find himself surrounded by friends like James, Sirius and Peter. Even though secretly he believed he didn't deserve it.

"Alright. I'm going to meet Hermione." Sirius patted Remus' arm again then ducked around James, whose face reddened.

"Sirius! You just ruined a heart wrenching moment!"

Peter snorted and Remus dropped his head. But a small smile tugged at his lips as he stood. A nice moment ruined…again.

But honestly…he wouldn't have it any other way.

"But we're studying in the library." Sirius growled.

There was silence for a moment before James smirked. "Really? Studying? Then I guess you won't mind if we come too." He grabbed his unopened book bag and adjusted his robe.

"Ah geez, seriously?"

"Yes. Let's go."

Everyone followed suit and Sirius muttered furiously.

They reached the library together and ignored Madam Pince when she glared them down. She wasn't exactly their biggest fan. "Alright you wankers. Hermione is going to be furious . So stay _quiet_ for Merlin's sake."

"Why would she be mad?"

"Because Wormy, she thinks we're a bunch of morons who do nothing but goof off, and she likes quiet when she's studying. And you lot weren't invited." He finished bitingly.

Wormtail nodded while James stared at Sirius in disbelief.

What the bloody _hell_ was wrong with him?

O

O

O

"Why hello… Hermione is it?"

"Yes. Hello Frank." Hermione continued to write out her charm's essay. Her irritation had stemmed from the fact that Sirius had decided to bring along his friends to their tutoring session for some unknown reason. At least they'd attempted to be quiet but when James started talking about the quidditch match that wasn't for another two weeks the Marauders had gotten into a row. Sirius had stood and knocked over Hermione's ink bottle and she'd practically thrown them bodily from the library. "_Tergeo_." She waved her wand over the essay and watched the ink slowly disappear. But rereading it she noticed she'd made a few major mistakes, her anger at him moved to herself.

"Mind if I sit with you?" Frank pulled out the chair across from her.

Swallowing her annoyance Hermione dipped her quill in her ink. "Sure that's fine."

"Everywhere else is too loud. You'd think they'd set aside a room for students studying NEWTs"

Hermione stopped in the middle of her sentence. "NEWTs?" Her chest ached for what she would maybe never have. _She_ was supposed to be a seventh year and studying for NEWTs and worrying over students being too loud.

"Yes. I'm a seventh year." Frank said absently and modestly. Frank was nothing like his son Neville who wasn't particularly studious, or as handsome. He was Head Boy and top of his class, he had anpretty girlfriend and was quite popular. Hermione's heart went out to Neville, she'd heard him talk about his Gran, and with a son like Frank Longbottom, Hermione could see why she had such high expectations. "My mum will kill me if I don't get at least 'Outstandings' on six, even if I only need five." He shrugged. No wonder Alice complained about his study habits.

"She sounds demanding."

"This environment is stressing me out more than she is though." He rolled his eyes at a second year sprinting past them.

She laughed. "Don't these people know what a library is _supposed _to be used for?"

He smiled at her clear annoyance. "It'll be hard to get enough N.E.W.T.S. to become an Auror but Alice thinks I can do it, and there's no arguing with Alice." He joked cheerfully. Then she realized what he had said, he wanted to be an auror.

Something was nagging the back of her mind and she rubbed her temples as a sudden headache began pounding across her brow. There was something about Frank Longbottom being an Auror that bothered her. A flash of St. Mungo's came into her head but it disappeared as quickly as it'd come and she couldn't place why a chance meeting with Neville at St. Mungo's reminded her of Frank being an Auror. It was the feeling that another memory had slipped away.

"Right. Right." Hermione muttered before returning to her essay. She stunned herself with how calm she sounded, the headache persisted and she growled in annoyance. In the next line she found another mistake and with probably more force than necessary, she scratched it out.

Across the library, James, Remus, Sirius and Peter watched this exchange. Actually, Sirius and Remus watched the exchange while James read his Charms textbook and Peter studied his DADA book.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Sirius leaned closer to James and hissed.

"Merlin Paddy shut up! What did I tell you about looking like an arse?" James growled.

"Dammit Prongs how do you stand it?"

James looked slightly annoyed now. "Stand what?"

"Lily not talking to you. Hermione's driving me mad."

Peter and Remus eyes met and they tried to suppress their laughter. "You know. I'm pretty hungry." Remus threw his books in his bag and raised his eyebrows at Peter. "You comin' Wormy?"

"Yup." Peter jumped up and they left the library.

"Sirius, why are you acting like this? You're obsessing."

Sirius played with his quill, running the tip over his palm. "I don't know." He said after a moment.

"Well…Why do you like her?"

"I don't know."

"You're insufferable."

"No." Madam Pince looked over at them and Sirius lowered his voice. He couldn't bring himself to look if Hermione was staring at them as well. "She's kind and honest and Merlin does she smell good. Like strawberries. It's amazing!"

"Wait…what?" James froze. Hermione smelled like strawberries? He didn't exactly recall that from their… well, for lack of a more delicate word, close encounter. The memory of the kiss brought a slight heat to his cheeks and his mouth became dry. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to kiss Hermione, not that she'd protested, (weren't girls supposed to be shy about that sort of thing? He'd have to ask Sirius.) He really shouldn't have suggested it.

But for a moment her hard set jaw line and embarrassed expression had reminded him of an exasperated Lily. Which he could not resist. It hadn't been unpleasant but the only thing he could think about is if Lily's lips were as soft. He'd been slightly relieved when she'd pulled away and asked to never speak of that lapse in judgment again. So why was he thinking of running his hands through soft red hair instead of thick chocolaty waves. Annoyance at his stupid boy hormones and Sirius' idiocy peaked.

Sirius sighed. "Am I mental?"

James snorted. "What have I been telling you all this time?" They sat in silence for a moment. "You haven't known her that long…"

"Yes but, she's special. Different." Sirius' thoughts went to their fight in the rain. Hermione biting her lip and a raindrop sliding down her cheek and falling from her chin.

"Well what are you waiting for? Go over there and apologize to her."

Sirius chuckled and hit James shoulder. "Maybe later. She's probably still mad about the ink… What about you James? How are you and Lily?"

"Is this a counseling session Padfoot?"

"You're my best friend Prongs. I'm here for you and you're there for me. So what can I do for you?" There was an unspoken inflection in Sirius' voice that suggested he was thinking of how he was now living in James' home, after running away.

James looked like he wasn't going to answer, but then he ran his fingers through his messy raven hair. The way Sirius said "best friend" reminded him of what he'd heard between Snape and Lily. "Snape. He has some kind of hold on Lily… besides being friends. I think he loves her Paddy."

Sirius sat in stunned silence before his incredulity couldn't be held in. He shouted so half the library turned to look at their table. "What? That slimy git! In love with someone like—"

"Shhhh!" Madam Pince ran to them and smacked the back of Sirius' head.

"Ow! Merlin!" He shouted louder and James tried his best not to laugh as Madam Pince made Sirius swear to never enter her library again.

James looked over at Hermione who was giggling uncontrollably and he smiled. Hermione was everything Sirius had said, and more.

He also noticed Frank Longbottom had moved, probably left because Sirius was yelling so loudly.

Sirius cursed as the stern librarian walked away and rubbed the back of his head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hermione shake her head and return to her essay but she was still smiling and he sighed.

"Let's head out." Sirius stood and James followed. "Tell me more about Snape. How do you know this?"

"Well in Hogsmeade-" James began to explain the scene in the book store as they headed for the Great Hall.

When they arrived however, they found their usually crowded space only filled with Remus and Peter.

"Oi! Where's everybody? We don't want to just sit with you lot!"

James chuckled and Remus snorted. "Hermione's still in the library and Lily would never sit with just us…"

"What's that supposed to mean then?" James huffed.

"It means you're annoying Prongs." Peter said between bites of roast beef while Remus and Sirius burst into hearty guffaws.

"I am not annoying!" His friends continued to laugh. "You'll see! Lily and I will be together soon enough! Even Hermione agrees!"

"Hermione also calls you Harry." Peter pointed out.

"Oi! What's that mean then?" Sirius yelped.

"Nothing nothing!" Peter corrected .

James glared at the lot of them. "I'll show you!" Then he spun and ran out of the Great Hall.

"Where's he off to then?... Nuttier and nuttier every day." Sirius chortled at Peter's joke.

For a while they laughed at James expense and Sirius found a plate across from Remus. He took a sip from his pumpkin juice and glanced over at Remus and Peter. He was glad Remus was in a better mood today, he'd been dark and gloomy since Hogsmeade. But now his face with brighter and his smile was wide. His blue eyes sparkled as he laughed at Peter's impression of James face.

Suddenly Remus jumped up. "Merlin's sagging pants! I left my book bag in that damn library!"

O

O

O

Lily watched the dingy water swirl down the drain. The pink tiles wouldn't have been her first choice but the color was soothing to her frazzled steady drumming of water on her back was hypnotizing and her dripping hair hid her frustrated tears. She was furious with Snape, he was so stubborn.

Her own stubbornness and refusal to speak with him for months after he'd called her a mudblood was completely forgotten.

She closed her eyes and tried to think what exactly what had possessed her to go with James. It had surprised how easy it had been. It was like she'd been under the Imperius curse as she'd backed away from her best friend and closer to her enemy. But Potter wasn't the type to perform Unforgiveables… No, she'd gone to him of her own free will. Her legs moving across the book store of their own volition. Until she'd seen the look on Sev's face.

Her stomach wrenched and she bent over as pain hit her chest. She was a horrible person. So what if Potter's higher level of maturity over the last few weeks hadn't been lost on her and under the troublemaker Potter she was annoyed to admit there was also, hidden deep inside him, a sweet James. But did a few moments of geniality and friendliness make up for a lifetime of irresponsibility and infantile behavior?

Hermione's words about boys eventually growing up filtered into her brain and in annoyance Lily shut off the shower and stepped out. Was she truly so inconsistent? She'd never admit it to anyone, let alone her best friend, but she'd had a small crush on Sev last year. Their years of friendship growing into something...more. But then he'd gone and ruined it and she could never see him the same.

But that was no excuse for her years of love and companionship falling by the wayside for that toerag...Was it?

Livid with her foolishness, Lily brushed the snarls out of her dark red hair with a ferocity that was pointless. She dried the soft waves of red with a flick of her wand and headed out into the dorm room with a towel wrapped around her. Steam was still wafting off her skull as she pulled a clean robe over her head. What was she thinking? Yes, she loved Sev, their friendship had started out mostly out of pity. But over the years, she'd seen that he was sometimes callous and cold but usually, when no one else was around, he was engaging and loyal. He'd seen her at her worst and she'd helped him was his father had become violent, when his mother became depressed and sick from suppressing her magic. They'd been through so much together. Sure her bitch sister scoffed at his Spinner's End residence, but he was smart and, best of all, he knew who she truly was. It was hard to not love someone who'd been her constant companion since she was ten… But she wasn't _in_ love with him.

At this fucking annoying cliché Lily growled and went back to the bathroom to fix her blotchy skin. Her cheeks where pink from the heat and steam and her emerald eyes stared back from the mirror. Lily sighed. He wasn't a good person, hanging around Slytherins that beat on firsties and boasted of their blood status. And no matter how many times he apologized for calling her that disgusting word, deep down she wondered if that was how he really thought of her. But James… he had stood up for her. Like an arse, but still… Then the date…No! It had not been a date, it was only a couple- no friends- no, not even friends…acquaintances walking through Hogsmeade together and just _happening_ to have a great time…

Annoyed at the sudden direction her thoughts had taken Lily began applying makeup the muggle way. Slow and painful. She hadn't put on much when a fourth year with brown wavy hair and large blue eyes entered the steamy bathroom.

"Lily? James is looking for you."

"How nice for him." Her mood darkened even further. _Dammit all to hell. Why did he have to be so damn persistent?_

"He asked me to come get you. He said it was urgent."

"Is someone hurt?"

"I-I don't think so…"

"Doesn't sound very urgent then." There was silence for a while then Lily sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm being rude. Tell him I'll come down in a second."

"Okay." The brunette looked a little too happy to have a reason to talk to the handsome Marauder again as she shut the bathroom door.

_Did I just think he was handsome?_ Lily's shocked face stared back at her from the misty mirror.

O

O

O

Still in the library Hermione remembered the letter sitting in her Potion's book untouched. Slughorn hadn't said it was urgent and she didn't think it was prudent to read it in front of Snape, whose cordiality had unhinged her. Six years of solid dislike from the man made his moment of peace more precious and she doubted she'd forget it. Telling Ron and Harry was out of the question however, they'd wonder why she hadn't cursed Snape for killing Dumbledore. A crime he had yet to commit, she might add. It was strange how one moment had changed her opinion of Snape so forcefully.

Hermione flipped Dumbledore's letter over and over and admired his clean penmanship and phoenix seal. After all the letters notes Harry had received from him last year you would think he'd pointed them out but he probably hadn't even noticed. But then it came time to actually find out why her Headmaster had written to her.

_Dear Ms Granger,_

_Sorry to start off this letter on such a morbid note but some unfortunate news has come to light. I will need to see you in person to explain the details. So please come to my office as soon as you can, either tonight after eight or any time tomorrow. I like Licorice Snaps._

_Professor Dumbledore_

She frowned at the bad news but folded the letter up neatly and stuffed it into her Transfiguration textbook. She wondered what he would have to tell her but figured she needed to see him as well. Deciding to see him tonight Hermione brought her Charms book back to her so she could go over the weather changing spells again.

Remus noticed Hermione across the library as he picked up his abandoned school bag. Her curly waves of hair fell in her face and reminded him of melting chocolate. Her hand moved so fast over the parchment in front of her he wondered how she could possibly be human. Without conscious thought he crossed the library and stopped in front of her still form.

"Alright there?"

Hermione inwardly groaned as she set down her quill. Why did the library have to be this era's hangout spot? How did these 70's students get any of their homework done with half the school gallivanting around the library? In the 90's, no one ever went in the library except for her. "Hey Remus."

Remus sat without an invitation and pulled out his books in silence.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Not really." He answered.

"Oh."

_Wow Hermione, intelligent. _She chastised herself mentally.

Remus didn't honor this with a response and they sat in silence for a long time. Then he shifted uncomfortably. "So… you and Sirius, huh?" He smiled encouragingly and warmed up even more when Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'd prefer to remain friends. I like Sirius but I need to focus on keeping the future as unchanged as possible."

Remus frowned again. She liked Sirius? "What could go wrong?'

"Everything!" Hermione sighed and smacked her book shut. She blushed when Madam Pince glared at her from across the library.

He wasn't sure what was making him pursue this. "Well don't you think you're leading him on?"

"Oh no! I thought he understood! He said it was just that one time… Did I do something wrong?" She spoke rapidly and Remus mentally kicked himself when he saw her horrified expression.

"No I don't think so." Remus tried to placate the panicking girl. He liked that Hermione found it easy to talk to him and he wondered what their relationship was in the future. He didn't think a teacher and student would talk as openly as she did with him. "Are we friends in the future?"

She was still thinking about the problems she now had with Sirius so she answered him absently. "Yes I like to think so. You're very nice Remus! I had the biggest crush on you when you were our teacher." Hermione choked when she realized too late what she'd just said. Oh Godric. No one knew about that, not even her best friend Harry. _Stupid, stupid headache._ She palmed her forehead.

Remus tried to remain calm but a smirk found a way to his lips. "You had a crush on me did you?" he wanted to laugh when he realized how much he sounded like Sirius.

"Don't think too much of it! Most of the girls did!" She tried to redeem herself. "You were dangerous and mysterious." She teased, trying to take the focus off herself, but ruining it by blushing furiously. She forced a nervous laugh and tried to go back to her essay.

Remus laughed heartily to show her he didn't think this news surprising but inside he was reeling. "Good to know."

There was awkward silence for a while but Remus went back to his DADA book.

Hermione sighed a brushed the hair out off her face. She wanted to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment.

She chanced a glance up at him and noticed a frown line forming on his forehead. His fingers clenched around his textbook, turning his knuckles white. Was something bothering him? His stress burned her chest and she had to look away. She'd seen too much of the sad Remus and now seeing how happy he was in the past, she wished desperately that there was something she could do for him. Even when he was with Tonks he didn't look as happy as he did surrounded by Sirius, James and (sadly) Peter. Thoughts of her young professor's hard path ahead made Hermione miserable. There was so much she should tell him, like to never give up on Sirius even if all evidence pointed to the fact that he was a murderer and betrayer, or that Peter was the worst kind of rat, or that he really _would_ find happiness with a woman who loved him. She chose to ignore Remus' deep reluctance to actually be with Tonks and assumed that everything would be alright once she returned.

But her insecurities were also coming to settle in the forefront of her brain, they were, after all, why she was so scared to try and change the future. Sure she'd been determined to save Dumbledore in her bedroom but this was something else entirely, now she was contemplating changing _everything_… She was so unsure if she could actually complete that daunting task. Especially alone. Could she tell Dumbledore and have him help her? Awful things happened to wizards that messed with time. Could she really just tell people outright what was going to happen or should she give hints and advice like she'd done with Snape…

Remembering where she still was, Hermione came out of her musings and looked up at Remus. His blue eyes studied his DADA book and she noticed his jaw was set in a hard line. He was angry? Maybe frustrated. Hermione studied his intense face and her gaze fell on the scar across his eyebrow. He didn't have it in the future and she wondered vaguely how he'd gotten it. Not from another werewolf for sure or it would never heal completely, but then why didn't he just get rid of it? "That scar…" She blushed when she realized she'd spoken out loud but Remus seemed unconcerned.

"Handsome isn't it?" He said sarcastically. He gave her a joking smile and Hermione laughed.

"Very debonair. But you don't have it in the future…"

"I don't?" Remus seemed genuinely surprised and pulled his chair closer to the table. Maybe it was from another werewolf. But then how did he heal it? "Strange…"

"What's it from?" She was taken aback by her boldness but she was used to asking Professor Lupin questions. He had been (would be) her professor after all.

Remus touched it lightly. He looked around to make sure no one was listening then pulled himself closer to her. "The first time we all spent the full moon together, Sirius, James, and Peter, I mean. I was scared I would surely kill them all. I'd been begging them not to become animagus for a year before they finally accomplished it… But honestly, I really did hope they would succeed and make the full moons easier for me. It was very selfish but they insisted they wanted it too." He trailed off and Hermione watched him absently rub the scar. She was reminded of Harry with a jolt and she looked away from him as moisture pooled in her eyes. She swallowed but Remus was lost in his musings. "I attacked Sirius, because he was a dog I think. Animal instinct or whatever. Maybe I thought he was a threat or something but he fought back. We were lucky we didn't kill each other." Hermione gasped.

"How did you explain the injuries?"

"Said he fell off his broom. But Dumbledore was pretty suspicious of us for a while. Anyways, Sirius gave me this, almost took out my eye." Hermione's eyes went back to the scar. "I kept it, because even after that, they stayed my friends." His eyes filled with tears and Hermione gulped, it had always killed her how much Remus beat himself up about his condition. "Reminds me that I'm a lucky bastard to have anyone love me at all."

Hermione choked and rubbed the tiredness from her eyes. She pulled her chair closer to him and he stilled. Her fingers gently traced the scar and Remus held his breath. His eyes were closed and he relished the warmth of her fingers and the radiating sparks that traveled down to his toes from her touch. It was like the potions class when their fingers had barely touched but stronger since it was longer than a split second. "Of course they'd stay your friends. This condition is not your fault Remus and you need to understand that there will always be people who love you and don't want you to beat yourself up about it." Remus blushed heavily when she mentioned 'love' but Hermione didn't notice. When she'd spoken her breath had also fallen lightly across his cheek and he smelled mint.

Inside Hermione raged a silent battle with herself. Remus must have healed the scar after Sirius supposedly betrayed James, the hurt and betrayal he must have felt, for twelve years Remus had been alone and Hermione again felt guilt build in the pit of her stomach. She had the power to change this. To save Remus from heartbreak, Sirius from Azkaban and the separation from his godson, James and Lily from being killed and Harry from being an orphan and to stop Peter once and for all. Harry would do it. Harry would have the courage to kill Peter, and stop the tragedy that was unfolding in front of her eyes, if he was in her shoes. But the thought of killing anyone abhorred her, even someone as vial and loathsome as Peter Pettigrew.

She needed to say something to make him see how important he was to Harry and herself. "Remus, you're more than this disease, you're stronger than that. I just wish you could see what I see. I don't know what Harry, Ron and I would have done without you."

He opened his eyes in shock at her words and studied her flushed cheeks and watery eyes. He couldn't believe it, but she looked like she really meant it. This brilliant and beautiful witch, looked up to him? His inner wolf howled and he struggled to remain in control. He tensed and his senses heightened like they did when he was angry or it was close to the full moon. Remus felt the strong urge to close the gap between them and kiss her until she was breathless. He could imagine her soft lips parting and her hair soft under his hands. Sirius be damned.

Hermione must have seen something change in his eyes because she moved away from him before he could lose all self control and touch those soft lips with his own. She stood and began throwing books in her bag in haste.

She was in a hurry to get away from him he thought bitterly.

"I'm going to dinner. Are you coming?"

Remus rejected the invitation and also stood. Slowly he put his things in his bag and when he looked up Hermione was gone. He headed to the common room. Never again would he go looking for a chance to be with Hermione alone again. He might just act on his instincts, and he didn't stand a chance against Sirius Black in that department…

On the other hand, Hermione had no idea of Remus' plight. After she had confessed to him that he was an amazing wizard (she hadn't noticed the impact her words had made on him). She'd seen the change in his eyes go from surprise to…something else and she'd come to the conclusion that Remus would never have to doubt his friends again. She didn't think she could actually hurt Peter Pettigrew, but she would speak with him, stop him from joining Voldemort and save them all. Dumbledore could find another way besides a seventeen year old boy to get rid of those ridiculous Horcruxes. Harry would have his parents if she had any say in it, and thanks to a Time-Turner, she did.

O

O

O

Lily reluctantly went down the stairs to the Gryffindor's Common Room. The room was almost empty, since most everyone had gone down to dinner, so she was able to see James right away. He was sitting by the fire talking with the girl who'd gone up to get her and Lily watched him speak softly with her. She laughed and slapped his shoulder before looking up in surprise at Lily. James didn't seem to notice and he tousled his hair absently. Anger flared in Lily at the sight of him messing up his ridiculous, bleeding hair.

James stood suddenly and his eyes never left the beautiful red head as she descended the stairs and moved swiftly across the maroon carpet. He didn't even notice as his fellow quidditch player left with a knowing smile.

"What is it Potter?" Lily said forcefully.

His mouth curled into a smile as he watched her hair swish behind her and she stopped in front of him. "I was wondering if you were coming down to dinner?"

Lily was silent while she watched him warily. "That's it? _That's_ what I got pulled out of my room for?"

Suddenly embarrassed James rubbed the back of his neck. "Well I just thought-"

"No. You didn't think. You never think about anyone but yourself! You're so arrogant! You probably thought I'd be happy to see you! Well I'm not! So, go away!" She ranted while James took this it in stride. The smile on his face faltered slightly, remembering his hasty words to his friends, but he remained silent until she finished.

"I _thought _you didn't come down because you were sick or something. But _clearly_ you're fine so I'll be leaving."_ Liar_. He thought, annoyed.

"Fine."

"Fine."

But neither moved as Lily glared at him and James smirked.

"Ladies first."

"Don't do_ me_ any favors Potter!"

"I've told you a million times, my name is James."

"I thought it was toerag…"

"Really Evans? Really?"

She laughed humorlessly and James winced. "Well _James_… I'm not hungry, so go to your friends and leave me alone."

"Just stop..." She gasped when he was unexpectedly very close to her and his hand reached up to touch her face. His fingers swept across her cheek bone and traced her jaw line. They pushed away some of her red hair and left a trail of heat across her pale skin. She shivered as his hand moved down her neck to her collarbone. His brown eyes stared at her emerald green ones and she was shocked she didn't jump back reflexively. In fact, she still didn't move as he dropped his hand and its warmth left her. "I can't stay away from you Lily, why don't you understand? Why don't you like me?"

She sputtered as he took a step away from her and looked her up and down. "Has Snape given you some potion that makes you hate me or something? I've heard of love potions but maybe he's invented—"

"EXCUSE ME?" She finally managed to get out and James winced at the volume. Her face turned bright red with anger and her shoulders tensed at the mention of Sev. One second his fingers had been leaving delicious trails of heat on her face and then he was ruining it with his arrogant, toad-faced mouth. She'd thought for one horrifying minute he was going to kiss her and now here was going on about Sev.

"It was a joke Evans calm down!"

"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? I WILL NOT CALM DOWN YOU ARROGANT, SPINELESS, LITLLE TOERAG!"

"Merlin! I was kidding woman!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He shouted as she raised her wand arm.

"What's going on?" Remus called from the bottom of the boy's dorms staircase and Lily jumped away from James whose hands were still raised in surrender. "I heard shouting." Remus said uncertainly.

"Sorry Remus." Lily apologized and stuffed her wand back in her robes. Why did James infuriate to the point of threatening people? Lily Evans didn't _threaten_ people! Although, she had to out to question whether James was an actual person.

James darkened when Lily used Remus' first name. Apparently she thought _his_ was toerag. He'd kill Snivellus.

"I wasn't trying to sleep Lily… I was just concerned." His gaze went to James and he asked silently with his eyes if he was alright. James gave him an imperceptible nod in answer.

James Potter did not need to be saved from a woman…Unless she was a red head.

Remus couldn't help but smirk. "I didn't expect there to be a_ fight_." He teased James, referring to James declaration that Lily would be his and the obvious failure _that_ had turned out to be.

"I don't like roast beef anyway." James muttered and went to Remus' side.

But Lily was watching the portrait door which swung open to reveal a laughing Sirius and Hermione.

They looked up when they felt three pairs of eyes on them and Sirius waved. "Oi! There you are! We were wondering where you went off to."

No one noticed Remus eyes flash amber. At least, he hoped no one had seen his momentary lapse when he watched Sirius' shoulder bump Hermione's as they went through the portrait hole. The smell of mint, the smell he now associated with Hermione, filled his nose and she was at least twenty yards away from him. He could just imagine her breath blowing across his cheek and the way her long fingers had touched his scar with feather-light strokes.

He needed air, to get out of this damn Common Room, but he knew his friends would follow him if he left this instant. So instead, he stood frozen and watched Hermione warily. Maybe he'd have to avoid her completely because apparently, crowds didn't hinder the wolf within him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The awkwardness in the Gryffindor Common Room finally made Hermione invite Lily to the kitchens to eat. She'd gone down too late and had simply walked back with Sirius and Peter but she was still hungry and she knew Lily hadn't eaten either. They weren't expecting James to also come along, but he hadn't eaten as well. Lily was furious that James came along but at least Hermione was with her.

They finally reached the painting of the bowl of fruit and while James tickled the pear Hermione had a heart attack.

"What time is it?" She shrieked and began frantically clawing at James wrist to see his watch.

"It's a quarter to eight Hermione, calm down!"

"Oh Godric I'm late!" and with that, she sprinted down the hall.

There was a pregnable silence while Lily had her own minor panic attack. She was with James…alone…no Hermione. 'Oh Godric' was right.

O

O

O

"I'm afraid I'm having difficulty procuring a Time-Turner for you. The ministry seems to be a little upset with me and has denied my request." Dumbledore said forlornly the moment Hermione had found a comfortable position in the chair across from his desk. The portraits of past Headmasters were all pretending to sleep but Hermione swore she had seen one watch her walk to her seat.

She studied the Headmaster's office while she contemplated what this meant for her. She enjoyed the glass knick knacks and devices that glowed and spouted different colors of smoke. Fawkes was very small; he must have burst into flames the last few weeks and was now trying to grow up again.

Hermione groaned and began to rub her temples in hopes of relieving her headache.

"I can't tell them what I need it for because they are still blissfully unaware of your existence. But because I can't tell them why I will need a Time-Turner that will not be returned, they are understandingly skeptical. Lemon drop?"

"Er- no thanks sir."

"Don't fear, eventually I will get a new one for you and you'll be home soon enough."

Hermione continued to rub her head. Dumbledore was overly cheerful considering the circumstances.

"Have you had any problems here?" He asked, conversationally.

"I do seem to get a lot of headaches…"

"Any memory losses?"

"I don't think I would know if there were, Headmaster." She said with some amusement before closing her eyes again.

"Right, silly me." He smiled at her over the top of his half moon spectacles and Hermione was reminded of Harry's comparison that Dumbledore's eyes had x-ray vision.

"What do you know about Time-Turners, Ms Granger?"

Hermione smiled at the familiar sense of pride she got from knowing the answer to a teachers question. Taking a deep breath Hermione began listing off her textbook answer. "Time-Turners are devices designed for time travel. Their very fragile and highly volatile, they're easy to break and hard to come by. It is not known where they came from or how they were created but Reginald Fitzherbert is credited for inventing them. Illegal in most countries, time-turners are possessed only by a countries respective government and are not given to the general public freely.

"They are usually used in schools, for outstanding students hoping to have more classes and more time to study for tests.

"In my time, all of the Time-Turners have been destroyed, save one." Hermione stopped her rant and reached for the Time-Turner on Dumbledore's desk. The chain clinked softly as she ran a finger over the markings; she'd had the habit of running her thumb over them in third year.

"How did this one get saved?" Dumbledore asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well I- In third year I had one but went mad from constantly using it you see."

"Understandable. This is a typical side-effect for extended use." He answered good-naturedly but waited patiently for her to continue.

"But in my fifth year, with O.W.L.s coming up… I begged Professor McGonagall for another one. I was just so stressed you see. Because of my high grades and Professor McGonagall's recommendation I was given a second one, which I used without telling my best friends. I finished my O.W.L.s and received high marks. But at the end of the year, the stash at the ministry was destroyed by accident." She didn't want to go into detail about the Ministry battle. "This one was kept safe in my trunk. And I've used it for school ever since. When it was suggested that a Time-Turner be used to destroy Voldemort I lied and told my friends that they were all destroyed." Hermione had been torn up for weeks about this, but she knew that it had been the right thing to do, misuse of a Time-Turner was very dangerous, as she'd been kind enough to prove. "It's the last Time-Turner. I mean- it _was_ the last Time-Turner." The broken glass caught the light and Hermione sighed.

"Hm. The ministry didn't ask for it back? To try and make more of them?"

"Curiously, no, they did not. Perhaps they forgot I had it?" She asked hopefully and Dumbledore chuckled.

"So I also assume you know why they are illegal Ms Granger?"

"Well- Besides the fact that it is dangerous because a wizard can kill their past or present selves, no, I don't know why they are."

"Hermione," He spoke her name as if she was a friend and she found it comforting. Her shoulders released some of their tenseness and she listened to his melodic voice. "Time-Turners create a sense a false hope for wizards and witches." Hermione furrowed her brow at this strange declaration but did not interrupt. "Have you heard of the Norikov Self-Consistency Principle, Ms Granger?"

Hermione shook her head, annoyed she didn't know something.

"Well it is the time travel theory that 'Nothing can be changed because anything a traveler does merely produces the circumstances they had noted before traveling.' There is only one time loop, and a time traveler is capable of going anywhere on that timeline, but they will find the more they try to change things, they end up making the things come true anyways."

There was silence for a long moment. "So you mean to say, any time-travel done, usually results in a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy? That nothing about the current future I live in…can be changed?"

"That's exactly what I am saying."

"So my traveling back in order to— er… well whatever the reason…was for naught?"

"Yes."

"But then why am I here?" Hermione was horrified to hear a slight whine in her voice.

"That's the thing Hermione. If you are here, it doesn't matter what you do, you're future is secure."

"But you don't understand! I don't_ want_ the future I have! It's completely horrible! Can't I at least attempt to change things?" Hermione dropped the Time-Turner and stood. She began to pace in agitation.

"Hermione, if you try to change things, it will only lead to the same end. I know it is hard to accept that although we are strong wizards and witches … we are not gods and are not capable of fixing everything. Some things happen for a reason."

Hermione sucked in a breath of frustration at the familiar words. Oh really? Some things happened for a reason? There was a_ reason_ Harry grew up an orphan? There was a _reason_ Sirius fell through the veil? There was a _reason _Remus had to transform into a wolf every month? She was very close to chucking the damn Time-Turner out the window.

"You see what I mean Ms. Granger, the Time-Turner created hope in you that you could change something about your future, so you unwisely used it and ended up here. This only proves what I am saying to you, you must forget about changing the future." Dumbledore watched the girl over his joined fingertips before reaching for another lemon drop.

He sucked on it for a long time until Hermione calmed down and returned to her seat. The portraits above their heads had watched her mad pacing curiously but were now returning to their false sleeping positions since she was in her seat again. "I have more bad news for you." Hermione sighed and leaned further into her comfy chair.

"I suppose I should get it over with then."

"What method did you use to travel with your Time-Turner?"

"There are two methods of 'turning' a Time-Turner. The first is the Reginald Fitzherbert method, who is believed to have invented the first Time-Turner. He originally designed them so that you could turn them like so-"She demonstrated the proper way to turn the RF method on the broken Time-Turner. "This type of turning sends a person back one hour for each turn." She began twisting the Time-Turner in a more complicated manner. "But this turn, is the Lei Ming Zhou method and is used for traveling back further in time. She invented this several hundreds of years after Reginald Fitzherbert's method because people realized how inconvenient it was to twist the Time-Turner a hundred or so times to just go back four days."

Dumbledore popped another lemon drop in his mouth but Hermione could tell he was still listening so she continued.

"I used the Lei Ming Zhou method because I needed to travel back at least two weeks. It works because unlike the R.F. method which is linear, the L.M.Z. method is exponential. With each turn the number of hours that I go back is multiplied ten-fold. I must have miscalculated and ended up with too many spins and landed here, in this time."

Dumbledore held up a finger and shook his head while he finished his lemon drop. "Actually Hermione, I do not believe that you messed up your calculations. Although I do find it admirable that you wish to accept your mistakes."

"Sir?"

"Someone tampered with your Time-Turner. Someone must have known you'd attempt to change something and charmed the sand in the Time-Turner. They sent you back here for a reason and we need to find out who it was."

Hermione was shocked. "But that's impossible sir! The only people who have access to it were me, Professor McGonagall, and you! I brushed the Time-Turner when a house elf surprised me sir, maybe I spun it by accident."

Dumbledore ignored this and continued. "You must have information that can help the war effort in this time. Perhaps they wished for you to give them the information to defeat Voldemort. But how they picked you is a mystery, they couldn't know who you are if they're from this time." He was almost muttering to himself but Hermione froze.

"You mean….information. Like about V-Voldemort?" Thoughts of the Horcruxes strayed into her mind and despite what Dumbledore had said about not changing the future; she needed to tell him about _this_ at least.

Dumbledore stopped muttering and looked at her in surprise. Probably because she had said the name. "Yes exactly."

So Hermione explained everything Dumbledore had told Harry about Horcruxes. His face lost all its color and his blue eyes were missing their shine by the end. She had to tell him that she didn't believe he'd made all seven of them yet but he was close. He was shocked that Voldemort had gone to such measures to become immortal but in the end, he believed her. His eyes were sad and he removed his glasses to rub his eyes.

"Sir, I was wondering if I could have a pass to check out the Horcrux books from the Restricted Section of the library. Once I've researched all I can, you must take them and keep them in your office so other students don't try and learn about Horcruxes. I think Tom Riddle might have gotten all the information he needed to make them here, at Hogwarts."

Dumbledore looked grave but agreed and handed her a pass. "I really hope you use the information you learn wisely, Ms Granger."

"Of course, sir. I'm very happy you trust me with these books, especially after what I told you."

"I'm a trusting person. I've been told it's one of my faults." He winked but Hermione flinched. "Now before you go, I want to remind you that you are not to try and change anything."

Hermione sighed and brushed her frizzy hair from her forehead.

He continued without waiting for her response. "I think I have a solution but I must run it by you."

Hermione nodded, curious about the Headmaster's idea.

"I can't modify your friend's memories once you leave, it could leave permanent damage on their brains if I tried to erase the existence of a whole person. All the emotions and memories associated with you would be too extensive to try and pretend they never happened." Dumbledore shook his tin of lemon drops and Hermione was alarmed to hear how empty it sounded. Had he eaten all of that by himself? Her parents, as dentists, would have a meltdown.

The thought of her parents froze her. He said trying to erase the existence of person from someone's memories was impossible without brain damage. But it was the exact thing she had done to them only a few weeks ago. Horror attacked her chest as Hermione realized the implications; she must have damaged her parents irreparably. Tears sprung to her eyes but Dumbledore didn't notice, he continued to speak of his idea.

"Instead I want to capture all of the memories and put them in a sort a box, then stuff it into the corner of their minds. The friends you make here will be unable to access it but it would be less dangerous than trying to erase the memories completely. It will be a difficult piece of magic and I'll have to research extensively to do it but I think it'll be worth it. Does this sound adequate to you Hermione?"

She felt horrible that she would have to take away memories of her, Sirius and Remus especially, but none of them recognized her so they'd had them taken away somehow.

"The only danger with this is that sometimes a person can access these memories."

Surprised, Hermione's mouth fell open. "Really? How would they manage that?"

"Love is a very powerful type of magic Hermione. Love would break open that box of memories of you." He looked at her reprovingly and Hermione wondered how much he'd heard about Sirius singing at Hogsmeade. But that didn't matter because she definitely didn't love Sirius and he didn't love her. She wasn't worried about it not working.

"I think we'll be fine Headmaster."

O

O

O

It was dark. So dark she couldn't see her hand two inches from her nose and it was silent. So silent that it drummed against her ears. Her heart beat furiously against her chest, this realization was strangely reassuring because it meant she was alive. She wouldn't have been able to tell otherwise. The dark and silence pressed on her ears except for the pounding of blood in her ears. She tried wetting her lips but they remained as dry as paper. She was more frightened then she'd ever been in her life, the fact that she was alone pressed on her mind and she grew nauseous.

She shuffled her feet, hoping to establish some kind of connection and stop her feeling of vertigo but her barefoot hit a rock. Her eyes watered in pain and she sucked in the stale air.

She dropped to her knees and pebbles pushed into her skin but she was too scared to move more than this. Some instinct told her that if she was to crawl forward and search for a wall she would truly meet her death. She would die alone in the silence and pitch black darkness.

Tears streamed down her face and she gasped for air as her fear consumed her.

"Who's there?" A voice, male and right behind her, made her jump. But it sent waves of relief coursing through her body, she wasn't alone. She wouldn't die alone.

She cried in relief and screamed. "Please help me! Please!"

"I can't see you. Where are you?"

"Here! I'm here!" She sobbed uncontrollably. Then a hand touched her shoulder and she spun around. Her outstretched hands hit someone's chest and she collapsed into the oddly familiar arms. They were hesitant and held her small frame uncertainly while she sobbed into the black robes. "I was so scared."

"W-who are you?" The man asked and Hermione clutched his robes closer when he tried to pull away.

"I'm Hermione." She whispered into his chest but he heard her and gently grabbed her upper arms and pulled him away from his body. She cried at the lost warmth and begged him to not move.

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't even know where I am!" She gasped and more sobs raked her. She'd felt so alone but now she relished this man's dulcet tones and the feel of his fingers curled around her arms. If he moved away again and she was alone once more, she was sure she would die of terror.

"Are you injured?" She shook her head and clutched him closer, silently telling him she didn't want him to move away just yet. After he'd held her for a few moments her heart was at normal speeds and she noticed his robes were scratching against her bare skin. In embarrassment she realized she was naked.

"Do you have a cloak? I'm cold." She prayed he hadn't noticed and was relieved when he stepped away. He kept his hand on her shoulder and held out a cloak.

"Here." She fumbled with the heavy material for a moment but he helped her tighten it around her neck and rubbed her back gently. "Better?" Maybe he had noticed, she blushed fiercely and murmured her thanks. The cloak felt heavy on her shoulders and brushed her legs gently. Its warmth was as comforting as the man's.

Now that she had calmed down her brain was beginning to churn. "Do you know where we are?" She asked hopefully. His hand tensed on her shoulder slightly and a little bit of her fear returned. He didn't want to tell her? Her imagination ran ramped as she thought of Death Eaters and Voldemort or Inferi.

He took a few steps away from her, closer to where she'd first come around and she gasped. "Not that way!" She could feel him pause next to her and she clutched his arm frantically. "I have a bad feeling about that way. Let's go the other way." She began pulling him away from the area where she'd been getting bad feelings.

He allowed her to pull him but her hand hit something cold and hard. She ran her hands over it and realized it was a stone wall. Its many grooves and jagged edges scratched her frantic hand as she felt for an opening or some way of escape. "There's a wall." She explained and tried to calm her ragged breathing.

"Feel along it." He suggested. So Hermione began moving to her left, always keeping one hand on the wall and the other clutching the man's arm.

After a long time of neither of them talking and simply following the wall, Hermione sighed. "It's no use. I can feel the wall turning; this chamber is just a giant circle." Exasperated she hit the jagged wall with her hand. "If only there was some light in here!" She shouted in frustration.

At the word 'light' a sudden bright glowing orb appeared over the two people and Hermione shouted in surprise. She buried her face into his chest but when nothing happened she pulled away in embarrassment. "Sorry." Then she looked up.

A great cavern, too high to see the ceiling and too wide to see the far side was revealed by the pulsing light above their heads. The black lake at their feet was completely still and surrounded by a thin rim of beach of pebbles. Now she knew why she'd had a bad feeling about going the other way. Finally she saw the island situated in the middle of the lake and her breathing came hard and fast as she realized where they were.

"We're lucky we didn't fall in." The man next to her said and nodded at the water.

"We need to leave." She scoured the walls for an exit but she was unsure how far they'd walked and she had a sinking feeling it was back where they'd started. How had she come to be here? Fear was numbing her hands and feet with the knowledge of where they were filled her. Her companion seemed unconcerned which meant he didn't know where they were or didn't care. She began to run along the wall and she could hear him calling out her name but panic was setting in. If either of them touched the water they would be killed! There was a sudden loud crack and out of the corner of her eye she saw something pale and large break the surface of the water, then disappear back into its depths. Her fear was now complete and she collapsed, hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably.

She listened to his panting as he caught up to her and set a gentle hand on her shoulder. "We shouldn't separate Hermione." He said this in a soothing a voice as he could manage between his heavy breathing.

Hermione sobbed, wishing desperately that she had not asked for a light and did not have the knowledge of where they were. Again she worried how she'd even gotten there but when she tried to remember how she had appeared at the lake's edge, alone and naked, she could not recall. There was also a thrumming in the air around her, in a way that only magic could.

"Do you feel that?" He asked her and closed his eyes and breathing in deeply. Magic had of this magnitude was calming to the senses and she used it to quiet her sobs. She hadn't even thought about if the man was a wizard but only a magic user could feel the magic in the air.

Hermione tried to see his face but the light was behind him, putting most of his face into shadow. Except his profile was familiar… She tried shifting to get a better look but the light moved with her, still putting his face in shadow and effectively obscuring her view. So she wasn't meant to know her companion?

Suddenly he leaned down and grasped something invisible. He pulled out his wand and Hermione watched as he tapped the air near his hand. A chain appeared that began to pool at his feet and a boat came up from the depths. It stopped in front of them and Hermione stared at in astonishment. Maddeningly, his face was still cast in shadow and she cursed the stubborn light for not showing her exactly what she wanted to see.

"H-h-how did you know that was there?" She watched, horrified, as he climbed over the edge and held out his hand to help her enter the boat as well.

"I don't know. Something just told me." He impatiently shook his hand and Hermione grasped it hesitantly. He helped her in and also sat down before tapping the rim of the boat with his wand and it began to move across the black water.

"Don't look in the water." She warned and he nodded mutely.

The boat moved slowly over the water and Hermione shook with fright. Instead of looking at the bodies in the water she stared at her companion and he looked at her too. She was able to discern that he had black hair before the boat bumped into the island and Hermione was jolted from her thoughts. He exited first, the stupid light still keeping his face in shadow. Before he reached down to help her out of the boat.

She stared at the pedestal that carried a shallow basin for a long moment before the man moved past her. He approached it warily before reaching down into it.

"You won't be able-" She was cut off when he pulled a long chain from the basin and Hermione sprinted next to him. "How did you do that?"

He held up the locket which spun beneath the gold chain. Green jewels formed an 'S' on the slick surface and Hermione breath caught in her throat. He began scrambling to open it. His fingers slipped over the gold and Hermione reached out for it. "Let me try."

He handed it to her and she let the chain slide over her fingers and felt the weight of locket in her palm. She considered chucking into the black lake but before she could cock her arm back she noticed a clasp on the side. The temptation to open it was too great. She pushed the clasp and the locket fell open keenly. A note slipped out like Hermione knew it would and she knelt to pick it up.

She didn't notice the light move to reveal the man's features as she opened the familiar note but instead of the message she had memorized when Harry gave it to her she saw something entirely different.

"What's it say?" The man asked and Hermione looked up at the face of Regulus Black.

The message fell from her fingers. It was lying on the cold stone ground and he looked down at the note. The black letters R.A.B. were stark against the white parchment.

O

"Regulus!" Hermione gasped as she bolted out of bed, clutching her chest to stop her pounding heart from flying across the dorm room. Neither Alice nor Lily stirred but Hermione snapped her mouth shut and pushed her bangs back from her sweaty forehead. The nightmare she'd just awoken from had been terrifying and very real, the trek across the lake and her fear of the dark were still fresh in her mind.

But the most important thing she committed to memory was the man's face. So that's what R.A.B. had stood for, she recalled Regulus introducing himself as Regulus Arcturus Black and she was furious with herself for not recognizing it sooner. Her talk about Horcruxes with Dumbledore must have caused the revealing dream.

"Just a dream." She muttered over and over and attempted to go back to sleep.

O

O

O

Hermione tried desperately to find Regulus after her revelation. But she swore he must have transferred to Durmstrang because he was nowhere to be found.

Frustrated Hermione finally gave up and headed to the library to check out the Horcrux books. After showing her pass to Madam Pince she shuffled to the Restricted Section and searched for the disgusting books.

It didn't take long, she simply headed for the farthest corner, where the darkest and most evil shelf in the library was and found them there.

She attempted to glamour them, so that no other students would be over curious at the Dark books she was reading but they didn't work. They were just too powerful and full of Dark magic she guessed. Hermione glanced up and down the aisle before stuffing the Dark books in her bag and hurrying away from the Restricted Section.

When she went around the final bookcase she was relieved to find Remus studying at an empty table. She watched him for a moment, his shoulders hunched and his cobalt colored eyes scanning a textbook. Every once in a while he'd write a note on a spare piece of parchment, the quill's feathers lightly touching his cheek since his face was so close to the table.

It was at this moment that her similarities to her former/future Professor struck her profoundly. They were both intellects and bookworms who were friends with notorious troublemakers. They were also outcasts, her- because of her know-it-all ways and him- because of his condition. But their similarities went deeper; Remus cared intensely for his friends and relied on them more than his own family because of his condition. She's had problems relating to her own parents, who struggled to understand her magic and the new world she lived in and she'd had to turn to Ron and Harry for understanding and a sense of belonging.

She wished that she'd seen this sooner, if their similarities were as numerous as she'd just realized then he had the potential to become a valuable friend. Someone that she could turn to and have understand her on a deeper level. She swallowed nervously and went to his table.

After exchanging pleasantries Hermione sat and began to also study. Secretly she watched him, and forgot about the Horcrux books in her bag. She didn't realize that he was watching her too, but in his own way. Because of his werewolf senses, Remus had a stronger sense of smell than most, he could smell her minty fresh breath across the table and lavender scented face wash. He could tell a lot about her without looking, for example her heart rate was normal but she seemed to be nervous and was sweating slightly. He didn't find this repulsive, in fact, her smell was intoxicating and he wished she'd picked a different table to sit at. He'd decided to keep his distance only last night and her tempting smell was very distracting.

They were so focused on the other that they didn't notice a group of boys enter the library and head towards them.

When they were only a couple of yards away Hermione finally looked over and gave Snape a familiar nod. Until she noticed who he was with.

After she'd been looking for him all morning, he was the one to find her. Regulus stood next to Snape and was staring at her haughtily done his nose. His arms were crossed and he seemed thoroughly annoyed that he'd been dragged here. The third boy looked to be the same age as Regulus and had a Ravenclaw crest on his robes. He didn't seem as proud as Regulus but his back was straight and he had a slight curve to his lips that couldn't quite be considered a smile.

"Granger." Snape said as a greeting. He had his ever present potion book tucked under his arm and was looking from Remus to Hermione with a smug look.

Regulus only nodded his acknowledgement and Hermione wondered at how she was ever going to be able to speak with him. She'd decided this morning, after reflecting on her dream, that Regulus must have been the one to find the locket. The implications were profound. If Regulus wasn't as committed to the Dark Lord as previously thought, he could be of great use to Hermione and she hoped to pass along information about the Horcruxes so he'd know how to destroy the locket when he got it. The thought made her giddy and she smiled a little too broadly at the two Slytherins and Ravenclaw.

"Snape. Regulus. And…who are you?" Hermione inclined her head to each of the boys. Her gaze fell on the mystery Ravenclaw boy who smiled back at her.

"The name's Bartimaeus Crouch Junior. But everyone just calls me Barty."

**A/N: Norikov's Self-Consistency Theory is an actual theory but that is all it is. **_**A theory**_**. This doesn't make it the law… it is only one persons opinion *hint hint* ;) After all, theories and prophecies are only as important as you make them. That's all I'll say.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"_Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate."_

As Hermione's bushy brown hair disappeared around the corner Lily sucked in a breath. Warily she turned to meet James eyes and saw that he was as apprehensive as she. His look of bewilderment almost made her laugh. But he held open the portrait and gave her a mocking bow.

"After you, Evans."

Lily sniffed and brushed past him. As much as she didn't want to eat with him, she wasn't about to let him win in their battle of stubbornness.

"I think we can call this our second date." Even his voice sounded smug.

Lily froze. One foot was in the kitchens and the other was still in the hall. She slowly turned her head and glared at James who had a distinct smirk.

_The arrogant little—_

"If you ever tell anyone about this Potter I'll be sure to deduct house points. You forget I'm still a prefect." She let a self-satisfied smile spread across her face at his stunned expression. But it didn't stay for long and he winked.

"I'll just win them back at the next quidditch match."

That did it. Lily could feel her face flush in anger and her lips became a thin line. "You are the most egotistical person I've ever met Potter!"

He grimaced and shook his head. "You're right, I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone."

This stunned Lily more than the usual arrogance. Potter being contrite? It reminded her of Hermione's advice that James was growing up. And the last time they'd been alone together, at Hogsmeade, he hadn't been so bad.

She sighed in resignation and James grinned.

When she'd entered through the portrait he followed close behind but didn't touch her. It relieved her that he wasn't always pushing his luck. Or maybe he knew she'd react badly to it.

_It isn't _really_ a date. It's just two friends eating a late dinner. Stop acting so unreasonable._

Instead, Lily smiled at an approaching elf, who bowed so low their ears scrapped the ground.

"Hello missus!" The little elf squeaked and Lily guessed she was a girl. "My name's Lolly. Is there anything we can be doing for the missus and sir?" She turned to James and bowed equally low.

"Why thank you Lolly." Lily was a little surprised by the gentle tone James used with the elf but didn't let it register on her face.

"We missed dinner, Lolly. So if there are any leftovers or something…"

"Lolly will set a table for you. If the young masters could wait just a few moments." She bowed again and watched the two sixth years with giant tennis ball eyes.

"That'll be fine Lolly, thank you." James said and the little elf scurried away.

James and Lily stood in an awkward silence until the elf returned and both wizard and witch gave her huge, grateful smiles.

"Lolly has set a table, come this way young masters." She led them past several other elves that were clearing up the dinner plates and watching James warily. He was known for his pranks even among the elves and they had too much work to do to put up with his shenanigans tonight.

"Here you are missus and sir. Lolly has heated up plates for you." She gestured to a low wooden table with a simple setting. It wasn't romantic by any means and Lily was relieved. For one horrible moment she'd been worried Lolly would think her and James were on some kind of date and would set the table accordingly.

They sat in their respective chairs and ate in yet more uncomfortable silence. Lily fidgeted and glanced at James a few times but he seemed to be brooding.

"James?"

"Hm?"

"You're very quiet." Lily sipped her butterbeer.

"As are you." James played with his vegetables before sighing and buttering a roll.

"True." She set the goblet down with a clunk.

More silence.

"James?"

"What?"

Lily set her fork down and brushed her hair away from her shoulders. James looked up for the first time and stared at her green eyes. She looked almost sad. "I really wish you would leave me alone." A pained expression went across James' face and Lily winced. "That came out wrong. What I meant is I want to be friends. But I could never like you James. There's too much bad blood between us."

"Pardon?"

"Sorry. Muggle phrase. What I mean is that we've never gotten along and honestly I really don't understand why you like me anyway. So I think it'd be better if we were friends." Lily took a deep breath and looked at James for his reaction. He seemed stiff in the shoulders and his expression was still pained. Really she didn't mean to hurt him but maybe since she was being honest he'd finally respect that she would never ever date James Charlus Potter.

"Oh Evans. If you knew how you made me feel… maybe if you did know you'd finally like me back." He shook his head and his smile became sad. He pushed his potatoes around his plate before setting his fork down. His eyes met Lily's and she blushed.

Sometimes James said the silliest things.

"Well…tell me then." She was treading in dangerous waters by asking, but she really was curious.

James eyes lit up at the idea of talking about his favorite topic, Lily Evans. "Let me see…When you walk in a room, it's like a magnet. I can't help looking over and watching you."

Never mind, she didn't want to hear this.

"I like it when your friends are there. Your face lights up and you smile. You never smile at me like that but I wish you would." He gave her a wink. But the way he was speaking touched her.

Lily didn't know what to say to this so she took another bite of the plate in front of her. She slowly sipped her butterbeer and watched James over the rim of her goblet. He was staring at her too, his glasses hiding his eyes so she couldn't see them properly.

"Then when you're studying you'll rub your eyes when you don't know an answer. But when you do you'll scribble across the page so fast your fingers are a blur." James seemed to have forgotten Lilly was there because he continued. "When you're happy you walk with an almost skip. But when someone upsets you, usually me," He looked at her sheepishly. "You'll walk faster and swing your arms with your cute little hands in fists."

Lily blushed. "I do not!"

James chuckled at her expression and licked his dry lips. "But all those things are why I like you Lily. Seeing you everyday makes me happy. Holidays are almost torturous."

"When you talk like this James. You're different. I can almost like you." Lily stared down at her plate and realized she wasn't all that hungry after all. She completely missed James giddy smile.

O

O

O

"H-h-hello. I'm Hermione." She held out her hand and tried not flinch when Barty Crouch Jr. grasped it. She felt as though she was missing something. She knew he was a future Death Eater and she was terrified of him for what he'd done to Harry but there was something else…

"It's lovely to finally meet you my dear." He gave her a small bow and kissed her hand.

"Ever the politician, eh Barty?" Snape sneered.

"Are you really going to hold that over my head until the end of time Snape? I'm nothing like my father." Barty rolled his eyes.

"Yes well that's not why we're here." Regulus cut in. "Here Granger. It's from Slughorn." He passed her a thin envelope and when the boys didn't walk away she reluctantly opened it.

_Dear Ms Granger,_

_This is an invitation to an elite club here at Hogwarts called the Slug Club. As faculty advisor to this esteemed group of students I would be honored if you would join us the Friday October 22__nd__ for our first meeting of the term. It's by invitation only and all the brightest and best witches and wizards in your class will be there. It will take place at seven pm sharp and dinner will be served along with dessert. I look forward to your reply._

_Sincerely,_

_Horace Slughorn_

"Lovely." Hermione muttered.

"It's quite an honor. We're all members of course." Barty gestured to Snape and Regulus. "There's also a dance that old Sluggie holds every year before Christmas. It sounds a bit dreary but it has its moments."

Hermione glanced at Remus who had a pained expression. "And you, Remus? Are you in the Slug Club?"

"No I'm afraid not Hermione."

Hermione knew why too. Because he was a werewolf. As a faculty member Slughorn would be privy to such information and of course he wouldn't want a werewolf, no matter how great a wizard he was, in his collection. Hermione almost tossed the letter back in Barty's face but instead threw it on the table. "I will think on it."

Regulus and Barty looked shocked but Snape seemed only mildly surprised.

"We will see you around then, Granger." Snape said and pushed his fellow future Death Eaters toward the library entrance.

Hermione looked back at Remus who still had his mouth hanging open in shock. "You look silly Remus."

"But are you sure Hermione? Turning down the Slug Club just for… well, Sirius and James say it's not so bad…"

"Even Sirius and James are in it? Then I definitely can't leave you out Remus. And I'm not doing it for you anyway. Slughorn's only trying to widen his circle of connections. I'll have no part in it just to boost my ego."

Remus closed his mouth to reply and instead gave her a small smile.

"Of course not Hermione."

But Hermione was already lost in thought. When she'd met Barty she could have sworn she'd felt a pang at the back of her head. Could it be she'd forgotten some memory having to do with him? "I need your help with something." Hermione leapt to her feet and began slamming books into her bag.

Remus jumped to his feet and helped Hermione pack her bag. "What is it?"

"Do you remember when I told you I'd lose my memories?" She walked quickly toward the back section of the library with Remus right behind her.

"How could I forget?"

"Yes well… we need to find some way of reversing it." Hermione began running her fingers over the titles on the nearest shelf and muttering under her breath. "Ah! Here!" She pulled a book from the shelf and Remus stretched to read its title, _The Magical Aspects of Time and Travel_.

"How did you know about this book Hermione?"

"In my third year I used a Time-Turner and studied as much as I could about them. This is where I got some information but it's mostly about the theory and assumptions and what I needed was facts." Hermione turned to about the middle and ran a finger down the page.

"What are you looking for?"

"For something… oh_! It is ill-advised to travel too far back in time. Most time travelers experience headaches, dizzy spells and forgetfulness_. Oh well, that's specific." Hermione rolled her eyes. "_One traveler, a Mr Terence Green, traveled almost nine years and seven months into his past. He slowly lost his memories_ I know all this… Where is the information on curing these symptoms?" Tears filled her eyes and she dropped the book her hands were shaking so much.

"Hermione? It'll be okay, we'll find something!" Remus began searching the spines of the books on the same shelf.

"Remus, what am I to do?" Her voice was thick and Remus gently reached for her shaking shoulder.

"You'll be fine Hermione. There has to be something more on the subject." Remus pulled the book towards himself and perused the page that it had fallen open to. "See, look at this."

_Terence Green's time traveling case has been studied extensively. When he arrived nine years in his past, his attempts to change things were thwarted even with his knowledge of the future. This is believed to be because he went back for a specific reason and he could not change this event because then there would be no reason for him to travel into his past. This is consistent with the Norikov Self-Consistency Principle._

"What does that mean?" Remus asked.

"It means that Dumbledore has to remain dead." Hermione said slowly and looked at Remus' look of surprise. "Even though I went back in time to save him I cannot because if he's no longer dead than I would have no reason to go back in time and he could not be saved… Does that make any sense?"

"Not really, no."

Hermione looked around in frustration then picked up a book. "Say I drop this book." She released it and it thumped on the library's red carpet. "But say that I didn't want that book to hit the floor so I use a time turner to go back and stop it from hitting the floor." She picked up the book once again. "So in the past it never drops because I've stopped it. But now in the future I have no reason to go back and stop the book from hitting the floor."

"It's a paradox."

"Exactly."

"So you can't stop any of the things leading up to Dumbledore's death because otherwise… you would never come back into the past. Which is impossible because you're here." Remus' forehead furrowed. "This is making my head hurt."

"You're telling me."

"So can you change other things? Because you didn't originally go back to change them?"

"In theory, yes, I think so."

"Well what else does the book say?"

Terence Green slowly lost his memories and became thoroughly convinced that he was in the correct time. Unspeakables believe that this was a survival method. The witch or wizard's innate magic abilities erase memories that would make the witch or wizard want to return to their own time because…

Hermione had stopped reading and Remus looked nervously at her pained expression. "What? What does it say next?"

"_Because… the witch or wizard's magic 'believes' that they will never return to the proper time and so it uses the memory erasing as protection. The magic user will most likely _want_ to stay in the new time_." Hermione's voice cracked. "This is ridiculous I don't want to stay here! Why is my magic hurting me?"

"Please don't get upset Hermione. I can't stand it. It doesn't say that. It can't!"

"But it's all here Remus."

Remus ripped the book from her hands and flipped through the pages so fast Hermione's vision blurred.

"B-but Harry… and Ron. I-I won't ever see them again?"

"You will Hermione. You will!"

"Harry and Ron are just so…they're just my best friends. Every moment I've been here I miss them more and more I just…" Hermione dropped her head and bit her lip. A slow aching burn was in her nose and behind her eyes but she'd already cried in front of Remus. She wouldn't do it again.

"Hermione I swear we will do everything in our magical power to make sure you return to your friend." The words wounded Remus. He could actually feel the knife sinking into his chest with each word. But her smile of gratitude dulled the pain and he was able to smile back.

Gently, Remus cupped her cheek in his hand and resisted his impulses to kiss her. He didn't need to confuse her any more when she was this distraught and it would be terribly selfish of him to do it.

O

O

O

"Hello Hermione."

"Oh! Hello Doriana, I didn't see you come in." Hermione gave Doriana a small smile before returning to her eggs.

The blonde girl sat in the seat next to Hermione and began filling her plate. "So I never got to hear how your date went."

Hermione suppressed a dubious face before nervously brushing her bangs back. "Not much to say." She hadn't even been aware that Doriana cared or that they were friends like that.

"Really? I thought you and Sirius would make a great couple." Doriana said innocently but watched Hermione's expressions from the corner of her eye. She made a face of surprise before covering it with a smile. Doriana smirked inwardly; Gryffindors were ridiculously easy to read.

"I never really considered it."

"Well maybe you should." Doriana said innocently. Although the Gryffindor was playing the innocent act, Doriana knew better. She'd seen the way Remus looked at her sometimes and she wouldn't stand for it. Just because Hermione was new didn't mean she could come in here to Hogwarts and steal Doriana's love right from under her nose! She'd loved Remus since second year and how long had Hermione been here… five weeks? Six? It was silly, but thankfully Sirius seemed interested and if Doriana knew one thing, it was that Sirius would not give up until he'd had Ms Hermione Granger. Remus wouldn't want her then….Doriana was sure of it.

"I don't know…. Sirius is a friend. It'd be so awkward and I just…" Hermione tried not to think of how much she liked Ron and they were friends. Besides, she didn't need another reason to stay in 1976. She still hadn't come up with a way to reverse her disintegrating memory.

"Well you need your boyfriend to be your best friend, don't you? That's the best type of lover."

Hermione blushed and quickly sipped her pumpkin juice to hide it. Doriana was very forward, she honestly didn't understand why she liked someone like Remus who was quiet and reserved.

"He likes you too and I've heard things from some Hufflepuffs and a few Ravenclaw girls." Doriana winked. "He's quite attractive."

"W-w-what?" Hermione's voice was shrill.

"I wouldn't let something that hot and willing slip from my fingers." Doriana smirked at Hermione's horrified expression and grabbed a roll.

Hermione did not want to hear these things about Sirius of all people. She had guessed of course, even when he was older she couldn't help but appreciate and wonder from afar. But honestly, Doriana was insane…wasn't she?

Mission accomplished, Doriana rose from her uneaten plate and said goodbye before running off to the Ravenclaw table.

Doriana grabbed her bag and ran from the Great Hall. The bag hit her hip rhythmically as she strode down the halls, her eyes peeled for a raven haired boy.

O

O

O

Hermione was exhausted. The last two weeks had been stressful, but she'd finally done it. James had gotten an 'Outstanding' on his potions essay and Sirius had scrapped up an 'Exceeds Expectations' in Charms. Even though she'd told them they had it in them the whole time they were insisting on celebrating.

"Firewhiskeys for everyone!" Sirius shouted through the common room. A few first years cheered but everyone else rolled their eyes.

"Don't be absurd." Hermione scolded. She was hiding her pride almost as well as McGonagall did.

"Come now, love! This is cause for a celebration!" Sirius lifted an imaginary goblet. She couldn't really remember when he'd started calling her 'love' but it was driving her mad.

"How many times do I have to tell you it's Hermione! For Merlin's sake Sirius, I just want to beat you upside the head sometimes." Hermione growled as she finished a Transfiguration study guide. She'd started doing her homework even earlier so she'd have more time with the Marauders. She'd be damned if they didn't become Aurors.

"Ah Hermione. Let the idiot have his fun." James joined in. He was stretching a new pair of quidditch gloves his parents had sent them this morning. The dragon hide was tough but a spectacular gold color to match his Gryffindor robes.

"Don't forget that quidditch match tomorrow James. When we win, we'll have yet another reason to celebrate."

"Tell me Sirius, does your enormous head ever deflate?" Lily called from her seat next to Hermione. She'd stopped seeing Snape altogether and although she refused James pleas for a date, she was sitting with them at meals even without Hermione's asking. Even joining them outside of the Great Hall and reluctantly partnering with James in some classes. James was over the moon with happiness and was barraging Hermione with his thanks and giving her more credit than she would've liked to take credit for.

"Why should it? The hot air in there helps him stay on his broom." Remus countered.

But despite his friends jeering, Sirius didn't lose his smile. "Oh shut up you. To Hermione then!" He lifted his imaginary goblet and waved enthusiastically to the group to do the same. Hermione blushed. "For putting up with my atrocious Potion skills, constant staring, although really I can't help it love, and for also being a most outstanding friend." He winked.

"Cheers!" They all called and Hermione blushed crimson and laughed.

The next morning when Hermione got down to breakfast she was feeling a little grumpy. She didn't really like quidditch and the Marauders had been talking about nothing else for hours last night, keeping her from her essay and making her stay up late to finish it. They'd also insisted she had to come and she wasn't about to miss the chance to see James fly and not be able to tell Harry about it. So she'd had to wake up at some ungodly hour for damn quidditch.

Peter was sporting flashy red robes and had painted his face gold. His cheering and screaming was eccentric and Hermione couldn't help clap and laugh with the whole Gryffindor table when he'd entered the Great Hall that morning.

"Where's _your_ paint Moony?"

"Shut up Padfoot." Remus laughed.

"What's this? Are we going to have to delegate the title of 'Most Loyal Marauder' to Wormy?" Sirius patted Wormtail on the back and didn't notice Hermione choke on her toast.

"Alright there, Hermione?" James asked.

Remus touched her elbow.

"Fine." She returned to her plate and was quiet for the rest of breakfast.

They went to the pitch together but soon James and Sirius ran off with the rest of the team and Hermione took a steeling breath. "Do you have any more of that paint Peter?"

He looked a little surprised but gave her a big smile. He didn't look so rat-like when he smiled. "Sure Hermione. Right here." He withdrew a gold marker-like object from his pocket. "It's from Zonko's but the clerk said it would wash off in a few hours. Do you want me to put it on for you?" It was the most Hermione had ever heard him speak and it almost made her feel guilty.

She gave him a timid smile. "Sure."

"What's this?" Remus asked. He stood next to Hermione and watched warily as Peter uncapped the marker and the end glittered gold in the bright October sun.

"Hermione needs a makeover."

"Really? Hermione's doing it? Then I want some too!" Remus inched closer to her.

Peter laughed and applied the think glue like paint to their faces. "Are you sure this will come off?" Hermione asked half way through.

"Too late now Hermione. You'll look silly with only half your face painted." Remus loved saying her name. It seemed to roll off his tongue and make his breath taste sweeter. He couldn't help saying it over and over.

"Not as silly as you." She stamped her foot and Peter, Lily and Remus chuckled.

"Me too me too!" Lily laughed and jumped in front of Peter when Remus stepped aside.

Soon half the Gryffindors were gold as lions before Peter's paint was close to running out. Hermione preformed a few multiplying spells on it and everyone got a chance to be painted. Even a few Ravenclaws asked for the bright color.

When the team flew out and saw the sea of gold they burst into cheers and waved their fist at the stands. The quidditch match was 4 long hours. But Hermione had to admit it was one of the most exciting matches she'd been too. With Sirius as a Beater and James as Chaser the Gryffindors seemed to own the sky, there red robes flapping behind them and their flight fluid. The Gryffindor Seeker wasn't as good as Harry; she was slower and not as willing to make daring dives. But the Hufflepuff Seeker was brilliant; he would've given Harry a run for his money.

In the end, Gryffindor had scored more than two hundred points than the Hufflepuffs and the Hufflepuff seeker caught the snitch to end the embarrassing display. But it was still a win and James flew around the pitch and waved to the crowd. When he got to the Slytherins he stopped. He pointed his wand at his throat and Hermione had a bad feeling. "You're next Slytherins! Get ready for some real flying next month!" He jeered. The crowd laughed and Hermione chanced a glance at Lily who looked slightly pale but she only sighed and shook her head. Remus and Hermione looked at each other, matching faces of surprise written on their faces from Lily's reaction. It would have been just the sort of thing she would overreact to a few weeks ago. Then they looked back at the pitch where a fuming Professor McGonagall was giving James a pretty serious tongue lashing.

O

O

O

None of the Gryffindors were at dinner that night except for Hermione. She'd sat in embarrassment for a few minutes before Doriana came to sit next to her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well its dinner isn't it?" Hermione said irritably but looked doubtfully at the empty table.

"Well usually after a win the Griffs stick to their Common Room. Never actually been to one of those parties but I hear they get pretty crazy. But I forgot you're new; you don't know how these things work." Doriana drawled. She gave Hermione a smirk before setting down her goblet and standing. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She stopped and looked back. "Love the gold." Hermione touched her face in embarrassment and realized she'd yet to wash the gold paint away. Hermione muttered under her breath before setting her plate aside and leaving for the Common Room.

O

O

O

Hermione jumped into her room and slammed the heavy door behind her and effectively shut out the loud music and drunken cheering coming from the Common Room. She was amazed she'd made it through the chaos unscathed to be honest. But then she looked up and froze.

Lily was lying on her back staring at the ceiling. Chocolate wrappers were strewn about and Hermione almost died when she realized that Lily had eaten every last bit of chocolate that James had given to Hermione for her birthday, the ones with firewhiskey in them.

"Good God Lily, what happened?"

Lily sat up slowly and stared at Hermione for a few long moments. Her eyes were glazed and she swayed slightly even though she was sitting. "Who 're oo?"

"What do you mean who am I? I'm Hermione, dear... Are you…. Drunk?"

"Drunk? Hmm. Odd." Lily laid back down and Hermione palmed her forehead. "I do not feel drunk."

"You don't?" Hermione restrained a laugh and came to sit next to the sloshed red head.

"Do oo 'ave any more of these?" Lily raised her hand and put the empty box of chocolates close to Hermione's face. Gently, she pried the box from Lily's hands and laid it aside.

"I'm afraid not."

"Shame. Oo could feel this good too."

"You'll regret it in the morning." Hermione reminded her and Lily sighed.

"Ah but that is tomorrow and it is today." Lily sat up again and stared at Hermione closely. "For now I am happy."

"Are you?"

"Yes for I am not surrounded by 'ames and his following of dimwitted…. What was I saying?"

"I have no idea dear. Maybe we should put you to bed?" Hermione asked hopefully.

"But we have only just begun the fun…. What's 're name again?"

"Hermione."

"…Her-my-one. I would like to join the party."

"I really don't think that's a good idea Lily."

"Shoot up Her-my-one." With surprising agility Lily leapt to the dorm door and flung it open. "I must tell 'ames that…. I don't know what I will say but I must go downstairs."

"What?" Hermione shouted. "No Lily don't!"

"'ames! 'ames! Where is oo?" Hermione attempted to grab the drunken girl but she slipped down the stairs and walked into the Common Room, still calling for James.

The Common Room seemed to have become worse since Hermione left it. She was satisfied to see that the younger years had gone to bed but the sixth and seventh years had taken the opportunity to bring out the heavier drinks and were lying in awkward poses around the room. A side table was knocked over and Hermione was horrified to see someone sleeping on a couch while his friends drew on his face with quills. She was amused to see that not a single person had bothered to wash off the paint, not even Lily, but Lily had apparently been busy doing other things. The Marauders were by the fire as usual and were staring at Hermione and Lily in equal parts, drunkenness and surprise. Hermione was relieved to see that Remus was sober and was directing Sirius to put down a bottle of firewhiskey.

"Lily?" James called out. "What are you doing up?"

"'ames—"

"Don't listen to a word she says!" Hermione finally caught up and clamped her hand over the girl's red face. "She's very drunk and- and it would be a bad idea to listen." Lily squirmed under her hand but she wasn't trying very hard or she was too drunk to push the smaller girl away.

The Marauders watched them in interest before Sirius opened his mouth. "Really? Lily drunk?" Sirius staggered to his feet and pried Hermione's fingers from Lily's face. But he didn't release her hand and Hermione nervously tugged away from him.

"She's a bit of a lightweight." Peter observed and poured himself another shot.

"That's not such a bad thing." James countered but froze when Lily dropped onto the couch next to him.

"'ames. Oo floo awesomely today."

"Er…what?"

"I think she liked your flying James." Sirius smirked and threw his arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Join the party love. We are celebrating because of you after all."

"Not this again…" But she was dragged to the couch and stuck between Sirius and Remus.

"Hello Hermione."Remus flashed her a smile but his eyes flickered to Sirius' arm around her shoulders.

"Hello Remus." Hermione sighed. "You're not drinking are you?"

"No. The full moon's in a couple of days. I didn't want to fan the flame." He whispered.

"Then you can stick with me." She gave him a half smile and his heart fluttered. "I'll need a sane person around."

But things only became worse from there. Lily had somehow convinced Sirius to serve her more firewhiskey and before Remus and Hermione could catch her she was so drunk she seemed to have forgotten her own name.

Peter drank steadily and Hermione was almost impressed with how well he could take the alcohol. He seemed almost bored. James was similar but he was reaching a point that he would definitely regret in the morning. At least he was happy because Lily was there and not snapping at him, in fact, she was glued to his side and every few minutes would compliment his flying skills that morning.

Sirius was beginning to worry Hermione though. Every once in a while his hand would touch her back or thigh or knee or hand. He'd done this type of thing before, of course but it had never seemed so deliberate. She would look at Remus with a pleading look and he seemed furious but was unsure of what to say to make Sirius stop. Hermione was regretting ever letting Sirius sing to her, or innocently bump her knee under the table. This was not what she'd wanted at all. But then maybe she was overreacting. She'd feel incredibly stupid if she asked him to stop and he didn't really mean anything by it. Maybe he was just a touchy feely sort of person and she'd hurt his feelings by asking him to stop.

He wasn't even saying anything suggestive or seriously offensive. If he did she'd shoot him down immediately but he was sweet as ever and only seemed concerned with making her enjoy herself. He hadn't even asked her to drink anything, which was a relief. She secretly accused Doriana for putting the idea in her head that Sirius liked her as more than a friend.

"To the Room of Requirement!"

"WHAT?" Remus shouted. "Hell to the no, Padfoot. You get right back in your seat this instant." The young werewolf tried pushing the drunken mess of a boy back into his seat but his intoxication only seemed to make Sirius stronger.

"I will…do…what I like…Mooooony." Sirius stumbled to the portrait hole and looked back. "Well? Aren't you lot coming?"

"Yesh! To da 'oom of Recucherment!" Lily shouted and stumbled alarmingly next to Sirius.

"And why exactly, are the two most drunk people in charge here?" Peter muttered but he also stood before helping James to his feet.

"I must join the fair maiden over there my fine Wormtail-ed friend!" James pointed to Lily and she giggled.

"Er…right." Wormtail heaved as James' dead weight fell more heavily on his shoulder.

"This is not good Remus. What should we do?"

"Sirius is a fucking idiot!" Remus cursed and made Hermione jump. She'd never actually heard him shout so forcefully but his guilty expression afterwards made up for it. "I guess the only thing we can do is follow them with the map and hope Mrs Norris isn't patrolling the seventh floor." Remus sighed and ran his fingers through his sandy hair. It stood up and Hermione grinned at the silliness of the whole situation. She'd never really been around people who were drunk, since her parents weren't fond of alcohol and only drank on holidays and never in public. But in her fifth year Sirius and the twins had become so drunk they were belligerent during Christmas break. They'd only been forgiven by Mrs Weasley because of Sirius' intense good mood for the rest of the holidays, singing Christmas songs and cleaning Number 12 Grimmauld Place until it was unrecognizable.

"Are you sure?" But at Hermione's question Lily fell against the wall in a fit of giggles.

"Definitely. Without us they'll be caught for sure and James really can't afford another detention."

"But you and Lily are prefects! This is terrible!" Hermione's voice became shrill in her desperation but Remus only shook his head.

"We'll bring James' cloak. I don't think we'll run into anyone, it's pretty late after all." Hermione didn't ask how all six of them were going to fit under the cloak if they did happen to run into anyone.

Not convinced but concerned about her friend's welfare, Hermione followed Remus over to their stupid friends.

"Well I hope you're happy Sirius." Remus scolded.

"Of course I am, Moony my old friend! I'm skunk as a drunk!"

"If I ever get this drunk Hermione be sure to stupefy me until morning." Remus whispered to her and she laughed despite the awful situation.

"And if I ever get this drunk…well…. don't ever let me get this drunk." Hermione whispered back.

"Deal."

O

O

O

"Padfoot, I need to talk to you. Over here." Remus pointed to a corner of the Room of Requirement and Sirius stumbled next to him.

"What is it?"

"Drink this." Remus handed Sirius a vial of Sobering Potion. During fifth year, when the Marauders had discovered the Room of Requirement and its uses, not to mention the joys of firewhiskey, Remus had mixed enough Sobering Potions for the four of them in case of emergencies and had stashed it in the Room of Requirement. This was something Remus definitely saw as an emergency.

Sirius took the bottle and recognizing it, he winced but chucked it into the back of his throat. It burned worse than the firewhiskey and he choked for a moment before the fire went through his belly and into his blood. It worked after a few moments and even though Sirius' eyes were still glazed and he was swaying slightly Remus knew he'd be able to understand him.

Remus grabbed his friend's robes and brought their faces close together. "Listen up Paddy." His voice was gravelly and lower and more threatening then he'd meant to make it. He cleared his throat and shook Sirius. "What are you playing at with Hermione?"

"What d'ya mean Moony?"

"I know how you operate Sirius. But Hermione is not some conquest. She's our friend and I need to know that you're not gonna toss her out like last week's trash like you've done to half the poor birds in this school!"

"You wound me brother." Sirius answered. But even though his wording was light and joking, Sirius' tone was dark and full of indignation. "Of course I know Hermione's not just any bird. Haven't you been listening to a word I've said about her the last few weeks?" Sirius was careful though, he'd seen Remus' eyes and they'd changed to an ominous golden amber color. But that anger was beginning to make him wonder…

"Right…." Remus looked confused. His brow was furrowed and he should've been placated by Sirius' explanation but his anger wouldn't go away and he couldn't let go of his friend.

"Do you….like Hermione?" Sirius asked quietly. He sounded concerned and his words made Remus release his shirt.

"Like her? I…I don't…..well I never really…..no. No, I don't!" Remus almost shouted and their friends, who were sitting around the fire playing a drinking game (with Hermione fretting on the sidelines, begging them to stop), all looked over in alarm.

"Because if you do Remus…. You know what I said, about sticking by you. I'll back off….I wouldn't do it for anyone else. But if you liked her Moony…I would do it for you." Sirius grasped his friend's shoulder and Remus winced.

"She's not something you own Sirius, something that can be passed around to your friends when you get bored with her." Remus was surprised by how dark and angry his own voice sounded. He had no idea where the words had come from but they wouldn't stop and his voice only became more furious and lower with each syllable. "Clearly you don't like her at all if you would just stand aside and let me have her. Well let me tell you Sirius Black! I would fight for her! Because that's what she deserves!"

"Remus?" Hermione called across the room and Remus' heavy breathing instantly began to slow down and his heart rate slowed to a normal pace. Sirius noticed his eyes changing too, from the brilliant golden amber they'd been a moment before to the clear cobalt blue they normally were. And Sirius knew. But now that he had the information…. What was he planning to do with it? Especially after what Doriana had told him.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I've been a little busy.**

**And I think my favorite part of this chapter was drunk Lily lol**

**That is all.**

**Kidding! Thank you to everyone that has reviewed and favorited and subscribed they make warm fuzzies grow in my tummy :)**

**Okay now THAT is all.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm sorry guys. You can totally rag on my lazy ass for being so slow on updates. :/**

**Chapter 12**

_Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

_And if you have a minute why don't we go_  
_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_  
_This could be the end of everything_  
_So why don't we go_  
_Somewhere only we know?_

_Oh simple thing where have you gone_  
_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

_So if you have a minute why don't we go_  
_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_  
_This could be the end of everything_  
_So why don't we go_  
_So why don't we go_

_This could be the end of everything_  
_So why don't we go_  
_Somewhere only we know?_

_Keane- Somewhere Only We Know_

"Tell me again what happened." Alice said hoarsely. Her eyes darted around the table to make sure no one was listening before leaning closer to Hermione.

"Well you know those chocolates that I got for my birthday. I wasn't planning on eating them but Lily found them and ate through the whole thing in one sitting and well….they had firewhiskey in them…"

"No!"

"Yes." Hermione wasn't one to gossip but it wasn't gossip if Lily was sitting right next to her was it? Lily raised her head. Her eyes were bloodshot and her skin was pale.

"Never again. Never ever… never again!" Lily looked around at the food and her pallor turned an alarming green color. "Oh Godric. I'm gonna be sick."

"No no no don't do that!" Alice glanced at the High table and professors, who weren't even interested in the dilemma at the Gryffindor table.

"Why does it have to be so damn bright in here?" Lily glared up at the sunny ceiling. The sun was shining brilliantly through a cloudless sky and filling the Hall with a kind of 'warmth'. For about the millionth time since her first year Hermione wondered how it did that since it _was_ just a ceiling and it must be a pretty amazing bit of magic to recreate the sun's warmth but that wasn't really important at the moment.

"I wasn't about to drag her through the halls in the middle of the night so we had to stay in the Room of Requirement." Hermione continued and gently rubbed Lily's back. The poor girl groaned.

"With all the Marauders!" Alice was astonished but her cheeks had a distinct pink tinge to them. "Why do you two have all the fun eh? You didn't even think of your poor roommate the whole time did you?"

"Neither of us had much fun." Hermione reasoned. "And there was this moment…Sirius and Remus had a row and after that the night was just awkward and tense."

"A row?" Alice raised her eyebrows and dropped her fork. "Like with actual yelling?"

"Well yes…" Hermione was amused by Alice's disbelieving expression. "Actually Remus did most of the yelling."

"Remus? Yelling?"

"He more…raised his voice."

"Raised…his voice? This is Remus we're talking about?"

"Godric Alice, how many times am I going to have to tell you the same thing?"

"Right. Sorry. It's just very unusual."

At that moment the Marauders entered the Great Hall. They were boisterous and seemed completely healthy and headed toward the three sixth year Gryffindors. Sirius and James seemed to be congratulating each other, laughing and slapping each other's backs. Remus and Peter were amused and were shaking their heads and rolling their eyes. Every person in the Great Hall was staring and whispering. Wondering if they were about to be pranked since the Marauders were pretty pleased with themselves.

Hermione had never noticed before but Remus was very graceful. His legs were long and he barely put an effort into crossing the great room. A smile graced his scarred face and Hermione frowned. Strange how you could know a person for years and never notice something as silly as how graceful their walk was or how their smile brought life to their features.

"What's wrong with her?" Sirius asked as he sat across from Hermione. He looked at Lily pointedly and Hermione's jaw dropped. "Why's she so green?"

"W-w-what?" Hermione voice was shrill in anger. "You idiot! It's your fault!" And she slapped the back of his head.

"Ow! Bloody hell Hermione!"

"It's not any less than you deserve with how much alcohol you poured into Lily last night."

"Geez love, just give her a Sobering Potion. She'll be fine." Sirius went back to his breakfast as if nothing was wrong and Hermione gaped at him.

_Men._ She thought viciously.

Remus watched the exchange in silence. His face darkening but he fought to control his anger. The full moon was only a few days away and he was finding it difficult to stay calm, even more than usual. His outburst at Sirius was only proof of that. He hid his blush by taking a swig of pumpkin juice and turning toward James.

"Here, Lily. It's pretty disgusting so you'll want to take it with your juice." James took a vial from his bag as he spoke and dumped it into her goblet.

"Thank you." She whispered and clutched her head as she reached for the goblet. It was saying something for how far Lily and James relationship had improved that she didn't question if the potion he'd given her was a love potion.

She sipped the goblet and immediately spit it all over Sirius who was sitting across from her.

Sirius almost knocked the table over when he leapt up and frantically swiped at his robes. "Damnit it Red!"

"I am so so so sorry. But that was disgusting what is _in_ that!"

James was laughing uncontrollably, his hands slapping the Gryffindor's table and Remus was snorting into his pumpkin juice. "You sound better already." A few other Gryffindors around them were laughing as well and Hermione sighed and flicked her wand, performing a simple cleaning spell silently. Sirius' robes and surrounding area were cleared of the offending potion.

At that moment the Hall was filled with the morning owls and Hermione missed Sirius word of thanks. Absently Hermione searched through the flock for the mysterious snowy owl and was almost knocked from her chair with shock when she saw it flying toward the Gryffindor's table. It had to be the same one, a snow white owl wasn't exactly common and even though she'd only seen it for a split second outside their dorm window the bird was similar to Hedwig in almost every way.

In awe, Hermione watched the owl fly closer and closer and then land gracefully in front of her plate. It stuck out its leg but not towards her but to James who gently untied the letter and flicked a piece of sausage to the large bird of prey.

"I-is that your owl James?" Hermione hissed, her eyes were wide and stared at the sleek owl in amazement.

"Of course! She's been in the family for ages. Haven't you, Kaia?" He tickled the bird's wing gently and she puffed her chest before spreading her wings and soaring away.

Breathless, Hermione finished her breakfast. What an amazing coincidence. Or more likely Hagrid must have known that Harry's father had a white owl and it was why he had picked Hedwig for Harry in their first year. It touched her that Hagrid wanted something so small for Harry to share with his father and she brushed the tears from her eyes impatiently. What a silly thing to cry over.

"Mother sends her love Sirius." James waved the letter that the owl had brought him. "and your motorcycles magazine." He held a glossy magazine with a bright red motorcycle on the front, just out of Sirius' reach.

"I forgot I changed the address! Mother dearest would've used them for firewood. Good of Dorea to send them though." Sirius snatched the magazine away and began immediately flicking through the pages. "I can't wait to get out of here and get one for myself." Sirius sighed and stopped at a page.

Curious, Hermione leaned forward and looked at the motorcycle Sirius was admiring. She smirked and had a wicked idea. "A muggle motorcycle? How _daring_." Remus snorted and James and Lily looked at Hermione questioningly. She didn't usually bait Sirius so obviously and Sirius was not someone to take baiting sitting down.

"You don't like motorcycles love?" Sirius sounded off-hand but Hermione could hear the annoyance in his tone and she smirked even more, if it was possible.

"Oh they're alright. Rather inefficient way of travel for wizards don't you think?"

"No." Sirius muttered and buried his head further into his magazine.

"Now if it could fly! That would be something now wouldn't it?" Hermione had to suppress a laugh as Sirius' expression changed from annoyance to awe.

"A flying motorcycle! What a brilliant idea!" Sirius began shoveling his breakfast down with gusto. "I knew you were a genius love. I really did." Hermione sat up a little straighter and glanced at Lupin's surprised but also admiring expression. She winked and smiled as he blushed a bright red.

"He'll never rest until he has a flying motorcycle now Hermione. Do you realize how absurd that is?" James scolded but the effect wasn't as disturbing as he intended because of the smile curving his lips.

"Brilliant. Bloody brilliant." Peter muttered between bites of toast and stared at Hermione in wonder.

Across from Peter, Alice was reading the Daily Prophet, her brow was furrowed in an uncharacteristic show of worry and Hermione craned her neck to see the cover.

**Wizarding Family Killed in Home**

Hermione sighed and asked for the paper. Alice agreed and handed it over so Hermione could see the destruction. She'd avoided papers in this time. Some headlines were worse than even the ones she knew and Hermione was getting a glimpse of some of the things that would happen if Voldemort beat Harry. It was frightening.

Reading quickly, she recognized the name of the family and sucked in a breath of horror. "B-but this is-"

A sob broke out at the Hufflepuff table and Hermione turned so she could see the Head of House speaking urgently with a girl. Her shoulders were shaking and her dark curls were hiding her face which was covered by her hands.

The entire Hall stared as she was led from the room to the hospital wing.

Sirius must have shown James the article because his knuckles were white as he clutched his goblet. Remus looked furious as well and Sirius was frowning at his plate.

"She's in our Charms class." Hermione murmured to no one in particular.

"They should've informed the school first thing so poor Emily didn't have to go through that." Lily whispered. "How awful to learn your parents died from a newspaper." There was a respectful silence and Hermione let a few tears fall. Death wasn't such a silly thing to cry over.

But she did look at Peter to see his reaction. His face was pale and his hands shook, but it wasn't in a guilty manner. He looked more horrified than anything and Hermione was confused. There had to be some kind of sign for the direction he would go.

O

O

O

On Friday October 22, Remus was so ill he didn't attend classes. It was the night of the full moon and this week had been especially painful for him for some reason. Hermione wished more than anything that they would invent the Wolfsbane potion already but there wasn't much she could do for her friend. She visited him in the hospital wing before classes and left him some chocolate. Madame Pomfrey had given him some kind of sleeping potion because his emotions were so unstable and Hermione watched his nervous twitching and sweaty brow with concern. The matron shushed her out the door and Hermione went to breakfast to meet up with her friends before classes.

Hermione unfortunately had potions and was unable to avoid meeting Professor Slughorn.

"Why hello Ms Granger!" He greeted her and she gave him a nervous hello back. But he took this as an invitation because he came to her table and watched her take out her potion kit. "I can only assume that Messrs Snape, Black and Crouch gave you my letter since you did not reply." He looked at her expectantly and Hermione blushed. "So are you coming to the Slug Club meeting tonight?"

Lily arrived in time to hear Slughorn's last sentence and her eyes lit up. "Absolutely!" Lily dropped her bag close to Hermione's. They weren't partnered up today and each had out their own cauldron.

Sirius was also at their table and looked surprised but happy. "You didn't tell me you were invited to the Slug Club Hermione!"

"Slipped my mind actually." Hermione explained and glared into the bottom of her cauldron. Tonight was the full moon and Remus would be fine without her wouldn't he? She couldn't really say no since Slughorn was walking away and Lily was chattering excitedly about the overrated club.

Hermione nodded when appropriate at Lily's chattering but never really contributed to the conversation. Sirius was watching her more than usual and as a result his potion skills were lacking and he was unnerving her. Why did he have to observe a person so thoughtfully anyway?

O

O

O

Hermione picked a seat next to the window so she could look out at the grounds. But Slughorn's office wasn't near the Whomping Willow so she would be unable to see the school's healer lead Remus across the dying grass to the smaller but still vicious tree.

"What are you looking for?" James asked as he took a seat next to her and looked out at the grounds. It was fifteen minutes before seven and Hermione was shocked that James would bother arriving so early.

"I like to see the grounds when they're still green." She said easily but James seemed unconvinced. But he dropped it and looked around at the empty round table. Hermione could see Harry in his movements, the way he flicked his unruly hair out of his eyes or the way he moved his glasses up his nose after doing this. But he was unlike Harry in the way he leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

"If there was no war… What do you think you'd want to do?" Hermione couldn't help but ask. Harry would want to know wouldn't he?

"What to do you mean?" James' brow was furrowed and the corners of his lips were turned down in a frown.

"You want to be an Auror don't you? Because of the war…But if they didn't need Aurors, what job would you do instead?" Hermione watched James' expression clear in understanding and turn thoughtful.

"Something to do with quidditch. Coaching it or maybe playing." He said finally and Hermione nodded. It was predictable really. James excelled at Defense Against the Dark Arts and Quidditch. Just like Harry. But Harry had more of his mother's brains and was good at other things like Charms and Transfiguration, even Potions when given the incentive.

"You would've done well as a coach I think." Hermione said but James looked at her strangely.

"Would've?"

Realizing her mistake Hermione tried to cover it but Sirius, followed by Alice, Frank and Lily, entered the room.

"Hermione!" Sirius cheered and snagged the seat on her other side before Lily could. "How was your day love?"

"Sirius I only just left you." Hermione sighed in exasperation. Why did he have to be such a handful?

Other students trickled in until five after seven when Slughorn arrived, fashionably late, to Hermione's annoyance. The sooner this was over, the better.

Last year she'd been flattered that Slughorn thought so highly of her to ask her to join his club but now she realized how silly the whole thing was. It made the other students feel bad and it wasn't as if the club was contributing anything to the school besides Slughorn's parties. She honestly was surprised Dumbledore didn't get rid of the whole thing.

Besides, Sirius, James, herself, Lily, Frank and Alice, there was also Regulus, Snape, Crouch a few younger students from both the Gryffindor and Slytherin houses. Doriana was also there with her fellow Ravenclaws and the whole table was rather crowded. Hermione felt uncomfortable smashed between Sirius and James but kept her mouth shut and prayed the ordeal would end soon. Unfortunately, since she was a new member, it was only a matter of time before Slughorn called attention to her.

"So Hermione, you are very talented at potions and I've heard great things from the other teachers! You're parents must be very proud."

James and Sirius shifted and cast her worried glances but Hermione ignored them. Couldn't they at least try to act casual?

"Yes, well, they're very happy I receive high marks." Hermione gave Sirius and James encouraging smiles and they returned it halfheartedly.

"But what exactly do they do?" Slughorn popped a crystallized pineapple into his mouth and quirked an eyebrow at her.

She sighed and looked at the future Death Eaters before smiling broadly. "They're dentists."

"Er…dentists? I'm afraid I have no idea what that is exactly."

"They tend to muggle's teeth." Hermione said and smirked as she took a bite of the evening's dinner.

Snape, Regulus and Crouch looked cowed. They're expressions would have been hilarious if in the next moment they hadn't turned dark and were now giving her suspicious glares.

James and Sirius shared a look before gripping their wands beneath the table, watching Snape carefully. He looked thoroughly conflicted and was looking between Lily and Hermione.

Lily didn't know that Hermione's parents were dentists. But hadn't she said they were wanting for money? That's why she hadn't received any birthday presents after all. But dentists were fairly well off as far as she knew. She looked at Hermione with as confused expression as anyone else.

Doriana glanced between the suspicious glares of the Slytherin's to the fierce looks of determination of Sirius and James. Honestly, Hermione was making this too easy! The whole thing couldn't have gone better if she'd planned it. There was nothing like anger and a overprotective nature to bring out the testosterone in a boy. Her finger tapped her thin chin and she leaned back slightly, her blue eyes darting from expression to glorious expression. Smirking, she pushed away her dinner plate and resisted the urge to conjure popcorn so she could sit back and enjoy the show.

"Fascinating!" Slughorn continued as if the tension in the room hadn't gone up several notches. He moved on quickly, now turning to Barty. "Now Barty, you haven't told me about your father." Resentfully, Barty sighed and began a long winded speech about his father who was the new Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Slughorn seemed pleased to have the son of such a high ranking ministry official in his collection.

Barty was annoyed about having to even mention his father but it was what Slughorn wanted to hear. In the end though, he couldn't help making a biting remark about him. "I hardly ever see him anymore, sir." Barty spat and scratched his fork across the plate and making most of the table wince at the sound.

"Yes, well, he is a very busy man I'm sure." Slughorn said, clearly uncomfortable.

Hermione watched Barty's reaction to his father in concern.

_When he arrived nine years in his past, Terence Green's attempts to change things were thwarted even with his knowledge of the future._

Hermione sighed as she recalled the book's warning.

O

O

O

Remus sat on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. His body shook as the moment when he'd transform grew closer. Through the planks over the windows he could just make out the moon covered by a few clouds. It wouldn't be long now.

He could feel it in his very bones. Even the little joints in his fingers ached and he cracked his knuckles to try and relieve the tension. Waves of pain trickled down his spine and out. Traveling along his nerves and his body shook. You'd think he'd get used to the Change month after month and he'd heard the older a werewolf was the more they could control themselves and the pain more tolerable but he must not have reached such a stage yet. If his friends were here he'd be having an easier time, they usually distracted him but he couldn't hold it against them that they were at the Slug Club. He could do this. He would do this.

Another wave coursed through him and he grit his teeth in anguish.

Come on Remus. Think of anything but the pain.

_Terence Green's time traveling case has been studied extensively. When he arrived nine years in his past, his attempts to change things were thwarted even with his knowledge of the future. This is believed to be because he went back for a specific reason…_

He recited in his head. After that day in the library he'd read nothing but The Magical Aspects of Time and Travel over and over, hoping to find something different. Something that could help her but she'd been right, the whole thing was filled with theory, assumptions and guesswork when they needed facts. But it was effective in helping him forget the Change.

Finally his adrenaline kicked in at the same time his curse kicked in. His back spasmed as the muscles hardened and his spine curved and extended. Fur pushed through his pores and made him itch. But his fingers were shortening and his nails were growing and he had paws in a matter of moments. The Change was almost complete and this was the worst part in Remus' opinion.

For one split second, he was a wolf with a human brain and only one feeling was expanding in his thoughts. He felt exhilarated. Free for just one second where it was just him and his legs and the forest floor beneath his toes and he could run as far as he wanted. He was far away from human troubles and he didn't have a care in the world and in this one split second Remus Lupin was reluctantly happy.

And he hated himself for it. How could he enjoy any part of this curse that Fenrir Greyback the monster had given to him?

But he was just as bad as Fenrir, because he was a monster too.

That is why Remus knew he could never let himself be happy. If he was, that would mean that he wasn't punishing the wolf within him enough. The wolf could never escape, but it would…every month.

So Remus was always punishing himself and promising to never be happy. Because he was happier than he'd ever been…for that one split second when he was a wolf, he was happier than he was as a human. But then the second was over and his human brain and reasoning was gone. Leaving the wolf to take over and have its one night of control.

O

O

O

O

"He better not try anything!"

"Sirius, calm down." Hermione said patiently as they walked back to the Gryffindor tower.

"Did you see their faces? If he even thinks about telling Avery and Mulciber I swear I'll hex him so fast he'll he never take his beak nose out of that Potion's book again." Sirius flicked his wand to demonstrate and red sparks flew from the tip.

"Snape's not going to tell anyone. What can they possibly do under Dumbledore's nose Sirius? Dumbledore would never tolerate it." Hermione placated the hot tempered teen. He needed to be calm so he could join James and Peter who were heading down to the Whomping Willow as they spoke. Sirius had insisted in taking Hermione back to the Common Room because he claimed he was worried about any Slytherins.

"Why'd you have to say you were muggleborn? I don't know about your time but in this time Hermione, muggleborns are in a lot of danger! You remember that article about Emily's family don't you?"Sirius was red and the muscle in his jaw was jumping again.

Hermione didn't answer. Sirius was being silly really. She could handle whatever those Slytherins thought they could throw at her. She was the brightest witch of her age after all.

Sirius sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "While we're on the subject of your family…What are you doing for Christmas?"

"I didn't really think about it. But I guess I'll just stay here. Where would I go otherwise?" Her brow furrowed in consternation.

"I was thinking…of course I'd have to ask…" Sirius trailed off and stopped in the middle of the hall. Hermione continued to walk but when he didn't catch up she sighed and stopped. She looked back and watched him nervously fiddling with his robes and twirling his wand.

"Have you spoken to Regulus?"

"W-what?" Sirius looked caught off guard by the sudden change of topics but now his face darkened. Maybe the change of topic hadn't been the best. "No."

"You said you would."

"Hermione. He's not worth it. You didn't see his face tonight." Sirius growled and gripped his wand so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Definitely not worth it."

"You don't know that." Hermione murmured. But Sirius ignored her.

"I'll ask James and see if you can come to the Potter's for Christmas." Sirius saluted her and began walking backwards. "Goodbye love."

Hermione watched him head away from her, too mad to finish walking her to the Common Room. "Be safe!" She called.

Sirius stopped. He was muttering and Hermione was too far away to make out what he was saying. "What'd you say?" She yelled. Sirius glared at her under his long bangs before sighing and walking back to her.

"Why do you have to say stuff like that?"

"Like what?"

He had walked all the way back and was glaring down at her. Then he leaned over and pressed his mouth to the corner of her lips. Hermione was frozen in shock.

Sirius pulled away and started sprinting away. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

O

O

O

Hermione avoided the Marauders like the plague that weekend and into the following week. Sirius kissing her had been nothing short of shocking and she was thoroughly kicking herself for ever ever ever letting him think that that was okay. Had she been sending the wrong signals? She liked someone else for Merlin's sakes! Granted Ron wasn't around but that shouldn't matter! She would not fall for the whole 'out of sight out of mind' thing. But this line of thinking only made her feel stupider since she'd kissed James… But that had been more of a learning experience. A confirmation that she didn't like Harry in that way.

Maybe she was making too big a deal out of this.

It hadn't exactly been a full on snog. But his eyes had gotten sort of dark before he'd leaned in.

The whole situation was very disturbing and distracting her from classes so much that even Doriana had noticed. She'd approached Hermione at lunch on Monday and had asked if everything was alright. Her usual smug look was momentarily gone but Hermione refused to tell anyone why she was acting so, in James words, "weird". She didn't even tell Alice or Lily who gave her worried glances whenever she'd duck out of the room if a single member of the Marauders entered.

When Sirius had seen Hermione's reaction he'd only told James what had happened and he seemed equally perplexed by her attitude.

"When I kissed her she didn't act like that and we like…went at it."

"Wait…what? You kissed her? What the hell Prongs! I thought you were all about Lily!" Sirius was waving his hands hysterically and giving his best friend an accusatory glare. First Remus likes her and now James was going around kissing her? What the hell!

"I _am_ all about Lily! But Hermione was… I don't know… Godric Paddy I'm a bloke and I'm not going to turn down a snog."

"You snogged?"

Realizing he wasn't saying the right things, James backtracked. "Trust me Padfoot, she does not like me and I don't like her. At least in that way. It was just one of those things…"

Sirius didn't answer for a minute before his face relaxed and he sighed. "Sorry Prongs. I just wish she would_ look_ at me. I feel like an idiot."

"And that feeling's new? Interesting."

"Shut it." Sirius said but was smiling slightly.

"You should just talk to her."

"Your right of course."

"Tell her she smells like strawberries." James waggled his eyebrows and elbowed Sirius in the ribs.

"I'm warning you Prongs, you better shut it!"

But Hermione had retreated into the library and refused to talk to anyone. Mostly she studied the Horcrux books and tried not to make herself sick. There was quite a lot of disturbing material in the books and Hermione worried about who had written them. What kind of sick individual would describe killing and soul splitting like it was completely normal. Very disturbing. But the worst of it was when Hermione learned that to destroy a Horcrux was almost impossible. Very few things could do any damage and definitely nothing that they could take with them on the run.

Of course, in light of the drama, Hermione had forgotten about the Slytherins. The first to find her on Tuesday was Regulus.

She was studying as diligently as ever, reading up on Horcruxes and trying to discover a way of destroying them when a body plopped into the seat next to her.

She jumped and scrambled to slam the book shut and hide it in her bag. Hermione looked at Regulus in surprise until her breathing became normal once more.

"You're a little liar."

"I am not!" Hermione said indignantly. Her back straightened and her hair crackled with electricity.

"Then you're not a mudblood?" Regulus dusted off the table in front of him and couldn't see that Hermione was close to smacking him.

"So what if I am?" Hermione turned her nose up at him and began putting away her notes and other textbooks. It had stung a little to hear that name again. Not very many people called her that and no one in this time had ever done it. She'd become used to it before but she hadn't really been expecting Regulus to call her a mudblood. She frowned and tried to regain her emotions. She needed to stay calm so she could speak reasonably with the misguided boy. Maybe sway him with logic to the light.

"What I don't understand is how you're such a powerful witch." Regulus glared at her suspiciously.

"W-w-what?"

"Everyone's been talking about how good at magic you are. But where does it all come from?" Now he looked confused and was helping her put away papers. "You're a muggle. That's what I was taught. So you shouldn't be able to do magic but…"

"I'm as much a witch as anyone." Hermione growled out. It was becoming very difficult to stay calm in front of this ridiculous pureblood logic. "Look at Lily."

"Maybe all this studying you do… Maybe you need to work harder at it or something. What do you study anyway?" Before she could protest he snatched her bag away and began pawing through her stuff.

He was taller than her so when Hermione tried to snatch the bag back he simply held it further away. But he froze and Hermione knew he'd seen the Horcrux books. "Please! Give it back!"

"What's this Granger?" He slowly withdrew the dark tome and Hermione's breath became ragged. She wouldn't get in trouble but the teachers would become suspicious of her if they learned she was reading such dark material. Regulus touched the spine and read the spine. "This is dark stuff mudblood."

"It's not what you think." Hermione grabbed the bag away from him. But he still held the book so she couldn't reach it. "It's for Dumbledore."

Suddenly a horrible idea reached Hermione. How on earth had Regulus found that Horcrux? Let alone known that Voldemort had a Horcrux? Sure he'd been a Death Eater but there were plenty of other Death Eaters that had never learned the truth, look at Lucius Malfoy, he'd had a Horcrux for years and never learned what it actually was. Regulus must have had knowledge of Horcruxes, and maybe if Hermione was the one to teach him…

"I seriously doubt Dumbledore would ask a student to read such…sensitive material, Granger. All mudbloods are liars." He hissed and glared down at her with hate. Hermione sucked in a breath and used all her strength to not react.

_Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones._ She thought to herself.

She relaxed and moved away from him. "Do you know who Lord Voldemort is, Regulus Black?" This had the desired effect. Regulus' eyes almost popped from their sockets and he fell into the nearest chair, staring at her in horror and also…awe.

"You- you- you said his name!"

"Fear in a name…only increases fear of the thing itself." Hermione said for about the millionth time. Honestly, didn't people read? "This book." Hermione tapped the book that Regulus clutched in his lap. "was once very important to Lord Voldemort." Hermione took a deep breath, this was a huge gamble, what if she was wrong and Regulus used the information immorally? "I think you should read it."

Regulus looked down at his lap and stared at the book with a newfound respect. Voldemort had read this book…maybe he could learn how to be a better servant to the Dark Lord by understanding him better. Regulus clutched the book closer, maybe it contained knowledge of the Dark Lord's power or… something.

"Promise you'll return it." Hermione stared at him in concern. She still wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but…there was also something tell her that she should do it. Regulus wasn't as evil as Voldemort… she doubted anyone was. Except maybe Bellatrix.

O

O

O

Emily didn't return to classes that week. Hermione was beginning to worry about her even if they'd never been friends. It was one of those things where you'd see them every day in class and you knew their name and who all their friends were but you'd never actually spoken. Hermione felt a little guilty about this and had decided she would speak to Emily the next opportunity she had. But it didn't seem like this resolution would happen any time soon.

The last week of October Hermione found herself outside in the most beautiful of weather. It was unusual for how late in the year it was and it would probably be the last sunny day of the year so Hermione decided to enjoy it to the fullest. She crossed the dry grass of the grounds until she got to the lake and found the greenest patch of grass she could. She lay out on her back, her hands crossed behind her head and her legs spread out, staring up at the clearest, pure blue sky she'd ever seen. There wasn't a single cloud and she took in a deep breath to smell the summer like breeze that floated over her.

She felt content and separate and like she was having an out of body experience. Her thoughts far away and all the stress of failing sliding away. But this rare moment of peace, away from studying and her friends, brought on a loneliness that Hermione hadn't felt since her first year. It was like a cancer and the pain of it seemed to start in her chest. It surrounded her heart and she could almost feel the fist of it squeeze the air from her lungs and tighten. It had been almost two months since she'd seen Ron and Harry and the heaviness of this hadn't seemed to reach her until now. She closed her eyes to shut out the now bright sky and let the pain spread. It engulfed her, her limbs filling slowly with sand until she was incapable of movement and her cheeks grew wet with silent tears. Goosebumps covered her bare arms and legs and she could feel her magic retreating into her soul, avoiding the sadness and pain that was filling her. She felt empty without it.

She needed Harry and Ron, they were like her brothers, she hadn't truly left their side in six years and now without them she realized what would happen if either would die in this war. She'd cease to function. Well… she would survive, but it would be incredibly painful and she silently prayed for the strength if ever such a thing should happen but she also prayed that it wouldn't.

But the thought that she would return home pulled her back. Yes, this separation was only temporary; she would be rejoined with her family, Harry, Ron and her parents too. The sand and heaviness left her and she could feel the grip on her heart lessen. Then her tears dried and she was able to open her eyes again.

There was a body next to her. It's warmth driving off the goose bumps and pulling her away from her brooding.

"How is it…you always find me crying?" Hermione asked softly and peeked through her lashes at the sandy haired boy sitting next to her.

"Good timing I suppose." His head was turned away from her so she could only see a profile. The scar over his eye stood out on his pale skin and Hermione observed the knots and uneven surface. It should've been ugly and disfiguring and yet she could not think of it that way.

"More like bad timing." Hermione sighed and moved an arm so it covered her eyes. Now that she couldn't see him he turned to look at her and frowned.

Her bottom lip was quivering and he stared at the soft pink skin. Wishing he could touch it but he couldn't…could he? His eyes raked her body, the soft curves that were normally hidden by a billowing cloak and baggy uniform, the creamy thighs and slim wrists. Her wild hair that was splayed out across the dry grass like that first night he'd met her. Everything about her was so inviting, so available and yet out of reach. He swallowed and forced himself to look away. "What were you thinking about?" He muttered, his voice was a little dry so he wet his lips and cleared his throat.

"Nothing important." She lied and shifted into a sitting position. Their eyes met and Remus knew she was lying by the tightening of the skin around her mouth but he didn't comment.

"Nice day isn't it?"

Hermione smiled and gave Remus a disapproving look. "The weather? Really? I thought we were better friends than that."

Remus chuckled and plucked a patch of brown grass from beside him. He twirled them in his fingers for a few moments and Hermione stared at his long fingers. She'd never noticed before how big his hands were.

"I'm sorry." Hermione said softly and let her hair hide her expression. Remus looked up in surprise.

"Whatever for?"

"I've been depending on you too much. It's very selfish of me."

"I don't mind." Remus whispered. He cleared his throat and said louder. "Anyway I can help, I will, Hermione."

Hermione didn't answer for a few moments. Instead she tried to absorb what Remus had said, he really was a kind and dedicated sort of man. "It's strange how much we rely so heavily on others. Not just in their talents but just because we need a presence, some pillar of strength that we can lean on." Hermione frowned and glanced at Remus' concerned face.

"I suppose." He said finally and chucked the twirled grass to the ground. He shifted his body to face her. "But it's not as if you can lean on someone without them wanting you to."

Hermione thought of Harry and Ron, how much she needed Harry's bravery and loyalty and Ron's humor and even though he was quick tempered he was loyal to his friends almost to a fault. Yes, they were like a table with three legs. Without one, the whole thing would collapse.

But where did Remus fit in? She hadn't noticed until now how much he'd been present these last few months. She'd confided things in him like her fears and he still wanted to help her and to stay by her side. It was very refreshing and reminded her of her best friends. She would miss this…their friendship, when she returned to the future. Professor Lupin wouldn't remember her, if Dumbledore had his way. But she agreed that it was for the best. The whole thing was terrifying, what if she missed him as much as she missed Harry and Ron?

She glanced up at him and met his eye. "Then…you don't mind if I depend on you for a little longer?"

"No."

Hermione was lost in blue. Clear, bright and pure- and it was sucking her in, driving away the horrible loneliness and filling her with something else entirely. She barely noticed the contact as his hands touched her cheeks and his thumbs scrapped away the traces of tears. "Don't cry." He said it so softly that Hermione almost missed it but every sense was heightened and for the first time Hermione could sense something wonderful. He was like a forest, there was an almost wild quality to him and she was drawn in. She had to remind herself to breath as the blue came closer and closer. It was frighteningly easy for her eyes to flutter close and for her to lean slightly forward to close the distance. There was a gentle pressure on her hand.

She looked down in surprise and saw that Remus' large hand was gently closing over hers. Covering it and surrounding her in warmth.

"Forget everything for a moment." He said. His eyes had flecks of gold that danced like fire and she could only nod mutely, completely drawn in and struck dumb. "Nothing bad is going to happen to you so long as I- I mean…we're here. So stop running away from us." He smiled at her and she flinched guiltitly. "We miss you…_I_ miss you."

"Sorry." Hermione sighed and flopped back into the grass. For just a moment she'd thought Remus was going to kiss her.

But what most surprised her is that she hadn't been completely adverse to the idea.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Haven't said this in a while so let me just remind you that I do not own Harry Potter or anything that you recognize in this story, the wonderful, fantastic, magnificent, marvelous, amazing, brilliant, beautiful blonde called J.K. Rowling does….love her :) **

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**That's right. Chew it. Enjoy. Savor it. You earned it. ;)**

**If you don't like cookies…..picture a celery stick or something.**

**Chapter 13**

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive 

_The Goo Goo Dolls- Iris_

Words swam in front of Regulus' eyes. The girl had to be lying. No one could actually perform the acts described here. It was sick. Inhumane. Bile rose in throat as one particular set of words came into view once more. Jumping out at him. Slamming into his head and demanding to be read for what must have the thousandth time. And what is read cannot be forgotten so easily.

_To kill a person is to commit an act against nature. Something so heinous and terrible splits the soul and allows—_

Regulus swallowed and skipped a few lines.

_But losing a part of your soul has dire consequences. A soul is what makes a person who they are. It is their very essence and by losing a part of that, you lose a bit of your humanity. To succeed in creating a Horcrux means you are, essentially, no longer human._

No one, not even the Dark Lord could read such a thing and think it was a good idea. The mudblood was a liar and he refused to partake in it.

But one memory kept swimming into view.

It had been a hot summer's evening and Sirius had been there. Also his cousins Bella, Cissy, and Andy, who thought she was too old to hang out with the 'children' and had told them all to go away and play at the other end of the manor. It was the Black manor that they owned in France and they'd traveled there every summer until Andy had run off with a mudblood and Sirius had discovered muggle motorcycles and the joys of early teenage rebellion. Regulus felt a stab as he remembered chasing the older kids and Bella's cruel laugh as they disappeared around a tree and left him. Usually Sirius had stood up against Bella, since he believed she was 'deranged' and a silly girl to boot. But this time Regulus had turned the corner and found himself alone.

He'd wandered the woods for what felt like hours to a child but what must have only been a few minutes and he'd finally caught up with his brother and cousins.

"I don't want to hear it Bella."

"Oh come now Cissy." Regulus could hear Bella's voice echoing through the trees. "Sirius wants to hear it. Don't you?"

"Not really." Regulus was relieved to hear his brother's angry tone and he almost dashed out to meet them but an un-childlike idea overtook him and he ducked into a bush to listen.

"But don't you see what it means?" Regulus had never heard Bella sound so… awestruck. "Finally someone who sees things the way we do!"

"What?"

"Oh you stupid boy. He thinks that we purebloods are superior. That muggles are animals that should be…exterminated."

Regulus didn't know what that had meant at the time but he remembered having a chill crawl down his spine and almost praying for his brother's voice to tell Bella to shut up. Just like he'd always do.

"That's sick."

"Is it? Has Aunty Wally been neglecting your education, cousin? We are better than them ! I stole the paper from daddy and read all about this 'Dark Lord'. They say he has red eyes and has placed a curse on every mudblood he meets. The Daily Prophet has much to say about him." Regulus could hear the pride in the demented child's voice.

"What did it say Bella?" Cissy almost whispered. Regulus jumped, sometimes he forgot she was there, she was always silent and demure, but he knew she was listening intently and she never missed a thing.

"There was some rubbish about him being insane but you should hear all the things he's done sister!" Regulus peeked through the leaves and saw his cousins and brother sitting in a circle. Bella was sitting on her knees with her hands clamped on her thighs. She was almost rocking with excitement and her black curls danced around her white cheeks and large eyes.

Sirius was stretched out and carried a confidence that Regulus knew he lacked. His brother's legs were already long and his hair shoulder-length and curling around his ears.

Narcissa was pale and small next to them. Like a fragile fairy with her thin blonde hair that fell in long sheaths down her back and shoulders.

"Oh really? Like what?" Sirius scoffed and tossed his hair. "If he's so special why'd he change his name huh? Sounds like a nutter to me."

"He's not!" Bella hissed and glared at Sirius. "He has made it clear that anyone that stands in his way will be killed. That if all the muggles and mudbloods will be under his control and purebloods will rule as they should."

Sirius stood and glared down at his older cousin. "You're bloody insane!"

Regulus heard Cissy gasp at Sirius' curse and tried not to roll his eyes.

"Insane am I, cousin?" Bella stood and withdrew her wand.

"Bella! You're not allowed outside of school!" Narcissa had also stood and was jumping in front of Bella in a panic.

"What are you going to do, Bella? Lumos me to death? Maybe throw Alohamora at me? Oh, I'm so scared!" Sirius mocked.

Bella's eyes flashed and she twirled her wand eagerly. "Maybe an Unforgiveable will shut you up."

Regulus saw Sirius face pale but he was too frightened himself to jump in.

"Bella, you're scaring me." Cissy whispered but Regulus was sure he was the only one who heard her.

"You wouldn't."

"No. No I suppose not. But someday soon, dear cousin, I will join the Dark Lord and you will regret crossing your family." Bella shoved her wand back out of sight and looked Sirius up and down. "Unless you join too, of course. Come Cissy." Then she stalked off and Regulus realized at the last moment that she was heading in his direction. He shuffled to the left slightly so she could pass him without noticing he'd been listening. She exuded so much magical power that Regulus shivered as she passed him. Then the memory ended and Regulus wondered why it had been pounding in his head as he read Hermione's book.

Maybe Bella's awe as she described the Dark Lord controlling the muggles and mudbloods, killing when necessary. After reading the book he could see that something was wrong.

Well, to be fair, he'd always known the killing was wrong, but the ends justify the means. That's what Bella had told him, but she did seem to enjoy it more than she should.

_You lose a bit of your humanity. To succeed in creating a Horcrux means you are no longer human._

How many people had the Dark Lord killed by now? And Bella had described his appearance. She'd seemed amazed as she spoke of white skin and red eyes. But now Regulus had to wonder if it meant that the one she worshipped was even human.

"Regulus?" The twitchy boy slammed his book shut and stuffed it under his pillow as Snape entered his quarters. "Are you alright?" Snape's face was a blank slate as he stared down his nose at Regulus. This sort of behavior had always annoyed him, Snape was only a half-blood after all. His mother a blood traitor. How dare he look down his nose at a pureblood such as himself. Regulus sucked in a breath and shook this away. Snape had always been friendly to him. Actually….friendly was stretching it a bit. Snape was cordial and had always been since Regulus' first year and he considered the dark haired boy a friend. None of the other Slytherins were so accommodating.

But he'd noticed how Snape looked at the mudblood Lily Evans. He even associated with her often and the conversation he'd stumbled upon in Hogsmeade was most interesting.

A Slytherin never overlooked such an opportunity for personal gain.

O

O

O

Lily crossed the grounds with a reluctant air.

Every so often she'd stop and kick at a tuft of grass or weed. After her weekly jaunt around the lake she was hesitant to return to Gryffindor tower.

Usually she would perform this ritual with Sev at her side and they would catch up on their experiences every week. It'd become harder and harder over the years to remain friends when there was such animosity between their houses. So Sev had suggested they walk together at least once a week, away from the probing eyes of the castle.

So out of force of habit Lily had dashed off once again but it wasn't as much fun alone.

James might have accompanied her but she didn't think she could stomach doing something that she used to share with Sev, with James.

When had she started calling him James anyway? What had happened to Potter? Or toerag?

Lily stopped at the top of a low hill and kicked furiously at a stubborn dandelion. For whatever reason it reminded her of James' head and she found pleasure in kicking it into smithereens. Merlin's beard when had she become so violent?

"Lily?"

Lily's breath caught in her throat and she looked up in a panic at her once-best-friend.

"Sev! W-w-what are you-"

"I was beginning to worry you wouldn't come." Snape strode toward her in his usual dramatic fashion, his cloak billowing behind him and his back rim rod straight. "But I figured if I waited long enough…" He trailed off when he saw Lily's exasperated expression. "Will you not even speak to me?"

"No. Now shove off." Lily was shocked at her rudeness that she used to save for a certain Marauder.

Snape looked equally surprised, his face became stiff and his eyes narrowed. "Fine. Good day, Evans." He immediately spun away from her and began making a hasty trail back to the castle.

"Alright I'm sorry! Come back, I'll hear you out!" Lily called after him but he still walked off. "Sev!" The nickname did the trick, as she knew it would, and Snape stopped.

Growling and muttering under his breath, the stubborn teen spun on his heel and returned to the side of the love of his life. If she needed anything from him, he would answer. Maybe it made him look like a fool but…he just couldn't deny her anything.

"I'm sorry alright." Lily shifted her weight and stared at a point above Snape's left shoulder.

Snape snorted. "No you're not."

Lily glared at him but he only ignored her.

That is, until they both noticed a dog sniffing the grass a few meters away from them. Its wet nose was buried in a patch of clovers and its black fur was ratty. It was probably the biggest dog either of them had ever seen.

"Is that a dog?" Lily gasped. Snape didn't answer he was so surprised.

The dog must have heard Lily because he suddenly looked up from the interesting piece of earth. His long purple tongue lolled out of his wide snout, his tail also wagged furiously, and he began to bound over the grounds toward them.

"What in the name of Merlin's beard is a dog doing here?" Snape glared suspiciously at the ragged animal as it picked up speed. His eyes widened in surprise when he realized it didn't seem to be stopping and it was close to bowling Lily over.

"Maybe he's someone's familiar from home?" Lily asked.

"Look out!" Snape shouted and tried to push Lily out of the way but then she had to shield herself when the dog leapt up and knocked her to the ground.

"Hey! Bad dog!" Snape said in a panic.

Up until this point the dog had seemed harmless, besides knocking Lily over, he only wagged his tail and drooled everywhere but when Snape tried to grab a collar and pull the animal away from Lily the dog turned on him. It bared its teeth in a warning and Snape had to back up quickly to avoid being bitten.

When he was a sufficient distance away, the dog returned to Lily and panted heavily in her face.

"Crazy dog." Snape complained and glared at the stupid animal. He was definitely a cat person.

"He must not like you Sev." Lily explained from underneath the large dog. She petted his head affectionately but when she tried to shove him off the dog licked her from chin to forehead.

Lily squealed and swiped frantically at the disgusting mess the dog had covered her in. "Bad dog! Bad dog!" She laughed.

But both Lily and the dog froze when they heard something else that was almost unheard of on the Hogwarts' grounds. A deep chuckle was coming from the direction of Snape.

But that couldn't be right.

Both dog and Lily glanced in surprise at Snape, who was covering his mouth but was unable to hold back a rare chuckle.

Lily smiled in understanding and pushed the dog away. "Feeling better?" She walked over to Snape and the dog bounded away before either student could stop to see where he was running off to.

The dog disappeared around the school's greenhouses and then headed over more hills to the Forbidden Forest. Finally, under the cover of the trees, the dog transformed into a boy with long black hair and handsome grey eyes. Out of breath, the boy stared in shock at the two distant figures who were dusting each other off and then turning back to the castle. He thought that maybe they were glancing around, probably looking for the mysterious black dog.

But they'd never find him.

Sirius shook off the last vestiges of surprise and tried to erase the strange image of Snape rolling in laughter in the grass. It was shocking to think that Snivellus was even capable of laughter. He'd never seen anything like it, and Lily had caused it.

At least he'd confirmed James' suspicions. Snivellus Snape was in love with Lily Evans.

O

O

O

Hermione had returned to the schedule of sitting with and partnering with the Marauders. She'd never noticed how integral they'd become a part of her routine until she'd pushed them away. But to say the least, she was happy to be back.

Remus and Sirius had beamed at her when she'd sat next to them the morning following her talk with Remus.

She'd gotten over the surprise of wanting Remus to kiss her and Sirius actually kissing her. She was eager to have her friends back. But she couldn't help but notice her heart jumped when she saw Remus' face light up at the sight of her. It was nice to be missed.

She couldn't meet Sirius eyes so she sat as far as she could away from him and missed his look of disappointment.

Sirius was glad Hermione had returned, he was slightly annoyed that Remus had been the one to talk her back to their circle but at least she was around. He watched her eat her favorite apple cinnamon oatmeal with deliberate slowness. But now he noticed for the first time that she glanced in Remus' direction too often for comfort.

It wasn't as much as Sirius was known to look at her but it still bothered him. Sirius snatched an apple from a nearby bowl of fruit and tried to sort through his feelings.

He guessed that Remus liked Hermione, he wasn't quite sure how much Remus liked her but there was no way Remus liked her as much as he did.

If Remus did then there would be no way he could hide his feelings.

This was only what Sirius believed of course. He hadn't really factored in whether Remus was just better at hiding his emotions.

Sirius met Doriana's eye around Remus' broad back and she gave him a thumbs up sign. She smiled and he quirked a grin back at her. With her encouragement, Sirius had decided that he needed to make a move before Remus' feelings became any more serious. Friends didn't like each other's birds and he was sure Remus would get over this Hermione crush.

O

O

O

Hermione was avoiding Sirius. She knew it was terribly immature but she wasn't quite ready to have the coming awkward conversation.

How did you tell your best friend's godfather you weren't interested?

This only made her curious as to what Harry's reaction would be to this whole affair. Would he be mad? She knew Ron would react in a similar fashion as he had with Krum. He could be a right git and hypocrite sometimes.

Sirius didn't seem to want to push her though, so Hermione passed the rest of the week in relative comfort. She was glad that Halloween would pass with little drama. It'd become one of her favorite holidays since coming to Hogwarts. It marked the beginning of her long-standing friendship with Ron and Harry.

On Halloween morning she practically skipped to the Great Hall and Remus was looking at her with a bemused smile.

"What are you so happy about?"

"It's Halloween!" Hermione shyly stopped skipping but the smile didn't leave her face. "Don't you like Halloween?"

"Sure. I always preferred Christmas though." Remus shrugged.

"Oh me too, but Halloween is fun." Remus was happy that Hermione seemed to be in a much better mood.

Remus asked her why she loved Halloween so much and Hermione explained the whole situation of the troll in first year and how it had resulted in her friendship with Harry and Ron.

"I just can't imagine forgetting all these memories I have. They're so important to me, especially the ones with Harry and Ron." Hermione had explained.

Remus had watched her shoulders slump and the pained expression that only flickered across her features. Once Remus had gotten over being impressed that she had beaten a troll her first year, he jumped when an idea struck him. "Of course! Why didn't we think of it before?"

Hermione looked at him expectantly.

"You'll put your happiest memories of your friends, the ones you don't want to lose and put them in Dumbledore's pensieve! Then when you're about to go home you can watch them and it'll be as if you never forgotten them." Remus' eyes were hopeful and Hermione was excited by the idea.

Remus was thankful that Hermione seemed to lose the tension in her shoulders at the thought of at least one solution to her problems. He just wished he could do more for her.

Her crying habit seemed to be slowing down and he was glad to see that she was capable of laughing and joking with him.

Classes were more laid-back then they usually were. In Charms they learned how to carve pumpkins with magic and Hermione proudly showed him a grinning pumpkin with fangs. His didn't look half as perfect but she said she liked his rendition of the moon and stars.

In potions, Hermione was partnered with Snape so Remus was unable to speak with her. But he listened in on a conversation that James and Sirius were having over a cauldron of Laugh-Inducing Potion, which Slughorn thought would lift their spirits from the 'depressing' holiday.

"You're making that up! Snape doesn't laugh!" James snorted into his cauldron which Remus was annoyed to see it bubbly and turning a frightfully dark brown.

"No! Really!" Sirius glanced into the potion and shrugged. He turned down the heat so it wouldn't splash then punched James' shoulder. "I'm serious!"

"Oh shut up." James snapped at Sirius' attempt at another 'serious/Sirius' joke. "What were you doing running around as a dog anyway?" He added in a whisper which Remus only heard with his superhuman werewolf hearing.

Sirius mumbled something back about spying on Snape before Remus was forced to return to his cauldron so it didn't boil over.

On the other side of the room, Hermione was contemplating Slughorn's comment about Halloween being a 'depressing' holiday. She'd never really seen why people didn't enjoy it.

She scanned the room and was looking at people's expressions. Most everyone seemed happy about the lull in homework but then her eyes fell on James and Sirius. James was laughing and it looked as though they'd completely forgotten about the potion in front of them. It was a simple potion, probably at a second year's capabilities and yet Sirius and James were managing to screw it up.

This was when she remembered that Halloween was also the night that Lily and James Potter would be killed. Guiltily, she glanced at Lily stirring her potion with a confused Peter Pettigrew.

Lily only had four more years to live because of the person standing next to her.

Tears sprung to her eyes and Hermione grew furious with herself. She was sick of crying and it seemed to be all she did lately. So what if all her new friends would soon be d-d-dead. Hermione swallowed and glanced at the potion Snape was making to perfection. "Snape…I know it's against the rules but…" Hermione pulled a vial from her bag and held it out to him. "I really need this."

Snape stared at Hermione in shock. He'd gotten over the fact that she was a muggleborn, if only to save face in front of Lily. If he could only prove to her that he had nothing against them then maybe she'd be his friend again.

But Hermione was trying his patience. He'd always thought of her as a rule follower and an above-average-intelligence witch but if she was asking to steal some of Slughorn's potion, he was not amused. It was only then that he saw Hermione's eyes watering and her trembling lip.

"I shall be in the storage cupboard for the next two minutes." Snape slammed down his knife, which he'd been using to cut up the final ingredient and he dashed into the supply cupboard.

Realizing what he was doing, Hermione quickly dipped the vial into the bright yellow potion. When she removed it the thick liquid dripped off the rim and she quickly wiped this refuse away with a cloth and stoppered the vial before shoving it into her bag and out of Slughorn's sight.

O

O

O

Hermione knew it was wrong to take any sort of potion unless prescribed by a potioneer or medi-wizard, but Hermione also knew that the Laugh-inducing potion was relatively harmless. She put a single drop in her pumpkin juice before her friends arrived and drank the juice in small sips throughout the Halloween feast.

In such a small amount she felt as if her stomach was full of sunshine and she was slightly lightheaded. She giggled at the smallest things and was speaking with Sirius as if she hadn't been ignoring him for the past week

Before long she was calling across the Great Hall for Doriana to join them and was laughing at some of Sirius' worst jokes.

Remus was puzzled by her change of attitude but he could only study her odd behavior over the special Halloween feast. He longed to pull her aside and ask if everything was alright but she was currently laughing hysterically into Sirius' shoulder and Doriana was pressing into his upper arm.

"We have prefect rounds tonight." Doriana reminded him and Remus groaned.

"Only because you signed us up."

"I thought it would be a good chance for us to talk about things." Doriana smiled at him and Remus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The witch was persistent.

She'd gone to McGonagall and specifically asked for Remus and herself to be the ones to do the Halloween rounds. It was infuriating and flattering that she wanted to spend time with him but it was exhausting spurning her advances.

O

O

O

"I want you to come to the Slug Club Ball with me." Doriana announced as they turned a corner and found yet another empty corridor.

"Really?" Remus said absently. He hadn't been invited but if a member asked someone outside of the club they were allowed to attend.

"Yes, since you haven't been asked to join the club, which I think is just silly. I've asked Slughorn again and again why you're not a member but he always ignores me when I bring it up." Doriana rolled her bright blue eyes and smiled at Remus nervously. "So what do you think?"

"Think about what?"

Annoyance flashed in the pretty girl's eyes but she maintained her cool. "About going to the Ball with me, silly." She slapped his arm a little harder than necessary but because of his werewolf strength he barely noticed.

"Well I was rather hoping someone else was going to ask me Doriana." Remus said truthfully. He'd stopped in the hall and was staring at the floor guiltily.

"Hermione?"

Remus jumped at the correct guess but shook his head and laughed nervously. "Of course not! We're…friends." He finished lamely.

Doriana glared at him before releasing a high pitched laugh. "But she's already going with Sirius."

"W-wait…What?"

"Sirius told me the whole thing!" Doriana smiled balefully at him. Technically he hadn't asked her yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time. "They're just the cutest couple. Don't you think?"

O

O

O

Hermione strolled into the Common room fairly late. After taking the laughter potion, she felt much better but she'd also become hyperactive and she'd had to go to the library and study memory modification and time travel theory to calm herself down. Then she'd gone to Dumbledore. He was also hopeful about Remus' idea.

After he'd shown her how to remove the memories Hermione made him promise not to watch them so Dumbledore wouldn't know too much about the future. He'd agreed with her and so Hermione left feeling much better about the coming months.

Then he'd gently asked for her to keep a list of everyone she knew in the future. He wanted a complete list of the memories he'd have to erase. He didn't want anyone to be missed.

"Also if you meet anyone else bring their names too."

"Of course sir." Hermione muttered as she scribbled a long list of names on a piece of parchment. He was alarmed by the length of it.

She read it several times before handing it to him. "That's everyone."

Dumbledore took the parchment and read the names objectively. Hermione stood but Dumbledore stopped her before she could turn the handle ohis office door. "Hermione. You've forgotten Lily and James."

A piercing headache plagued Hermione and she rubbed her temples in annoyance.

James and Lily. James and Lily Potter.

Their names ran over and over in her head, why were they doing that?

"I…I did?" Hermione walked back and stared at the paper in confusion. "That's funny I don't…"

Dumbledore stared at the girl in concern. He could guess that she'd just lost another memory based on the blank look in her eyes and he hoped it wasn't anything important.

"Hermione?"

She looked up in surprise and picked up the quill. While she dipped it in the inkwell as she spoke. "I don't know how I could have forgotten them sir. I'm terribly sorry." She added their names to the list and handed the important list back. That was a list of some very important people in her life.

"Are you alright my dear? You seemed strange at dinner."

Hermione blushed and picked her bag up in agitation. "Halloween is both a sad a happy day for me." She explained vaguely.

"Sad how?"

Hermione froze and stared at a groove in Dumbledore's desk. But no matter how hard she thought she couldn't remember. "That's funny…I don't…."

"Remember?" Dumbledore supplied and watched the girl's eyes widen before she adjusted the bag on her shoulder and headed once more towards his office door.

"Sorry for coming in so late Headmaster. Goodnight." She disappeared out the door before he could reciprocate and Dumbledore studied the list sitting innocently on his desk. Fawkes sang sweetly from his perch by the Headmaster's desk.

After giving the portrait the password Hermione passed through the hole and entered the dimly lit room. She didn't notice anything unusual until she reached the fireplace and surrounding couches and chairs.

Someone was asleep on the biggest couch. Their legs were tucked underneath them and a flannel and plaid blanket had been thrown over them haphazardly. Hermione approached cautiously until she saw the sleeper's face.

It was Remus.

Hermione's heart fluttered when she saw the peaceful look on his face. His scarred face was smooth and his lips were curved in a subtle smile. His lashes touched his cheeks and Hermione could see that the crease that he usually had in his forehead was gone.

Hermione came closer and closer until she was standing above the sleeping boy. She wasn't sure what was prompting her to do it but she gently reached down and pushed a few strands of hair from his face.

His lip twitched slightly and Hermione withdrew her hand.

She couldn't bring herself to wake him but she didn't want him to catch a cold.

Unsure what to do, Hermione knelt next to his face and studied every contour and line. Because of his scar she'd never noticed what great bone structure he had.

Suddenly Remus' eyes flew open.

This worst possible outcome for the situation had just happened. Hermione's mouth dropped open as Remus expression changed from surprise to an embarrassed smile.

"Er- Hi."

"H-h-hi." Hermione snapped her jaw shut and stared at the lamp over Remus' head.

"Were you just-" Remus pointed at Hermione then himself, at a loss for words.

"Nope. Nope, definitely not."

"But then why are you-"

"Standing here? Um, well I-I-I…. I-was-just-at-the-library-and-then-when-I-came-in-here-you-were asleep-I-saw-you-here-and-I-thought-I-should-wake-you-up but you did right before I could and I-"

"Woah!" Remus held his hands up and Hermione stopped her rant. "So you weren't watching me sleep?"

"What? I was just…NO! Godric no…. How could you even…think that….." Hermione trailed off and stared at a smudge on her shoe. When had that gotten there?

"Right….Well, goodnight." Remus stood and resisted doing a jig between the couch and the stairs to the rooms.

"OH!" Remus stopped and looked back with a concerned face. His eyebrow was knitted and his lips were turned down in a frown.

It was a very different from the softer edge his features took on when he'd- _WHAT ON EARTH WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT SHE HAD _NOT _BEEN WATCHING REMUS LUPIN SLEEP! Oh Godric I'm supposed to say something now. _

Remus was looking more disturbed by the second as Hermione tried to conjure an intelligent response.

_I can summon balls of fire and levitate things with a stick but I can't even come up with something intelligent? What the Devil's Snare is wrong with me?_

She looked around in a panic before noticing the material that had been wrapped over Remus' shoulders only a moment ago. "Your blanket." Hermione snatched the blanket off the couch and held it up to show him. It was plaid and scratchy and threadbare and sort of ugly….yet strangely familiar.

"Er- That's not actually mine….It's the throw….for the couch….it's always there." Remus watched Hermione's eyes bulge in embarrassment and her hands nervously try to fold it. She was obviously flustered and he only seemed to be making it worse. He stepped towards her and reached for it. "Actually. You know what? Maybe it is mine. My mistake." His hand lightly grazed her fingers as he attempted to take the blanket from her and the usual zing of electricity shot up his arm. He'd become used to it after the many times they'd accidently bumped each other but was completely caught off guard when Hermione leapt away from him.

No. She literally _leaped_ away. All Remus could do was watch in horror as her shoe snagged on the rug and Hermione fell backwards into the chair. But the horror didn't end. No, because whoever invented physics and the lovely idea of momentum had a strange sense of humor.

When Hermione fell into the chair it tipped and so Hermione was forced to watch Remus' shocked expression as she fell rear over end backwards off the chair and land face first on the Gryffindor common room's rug.

Hermione hated science.

"Hermione are you alright?" Remus was by her side and tugging her arm.

She'd only leapt away because he'd shocked her. But it'd been much stronger than a normal shock and had traveled up her arm and through her entire body at an alarming rate. Most of the time when she was shocked it was unpleasant but this had been very different, more like a _zing_ than an electrical pulse. And it hadn't been entirely unpleasant, just surprising.

And now she was here on the floor because of her surprise and Remus was fussing over her.

But he didn't just sound concerned. No…there was something else. "Are you _laughing_ at me?" Hermione screeched as she jumped to her feet.

"What? NO!" Remus defended himself. But he was biting his lips and he wasn't meeting her eye. Were his eyes _watering_?

Hermione's hair began to crackle and she could feel her shoulders tensing. Even her wand arm was twitching and she was glaring at Remus venomously.

Although….she must have been a sight flipping backwards over the arm of that chair…..

Hermione could feel her face cracking and her shoulders relaxing. "I just-" Then Hermione burst into a fit of giggles and wasn't surprised when she heard Remus join.

"You looked so silly!"

"That chair came out of nowhere!"

"Do you _walk _much?"

This only brought on more laughter until they had to drop onto the couch and swipe tears from their cheeks.

When they'd calmed down Hermione ran a hand down her face and then looked over at Remus.

Their eyes met and Hermione could feel her chest brimming with warmth. The potion had worn off and yet Remus had been able to make her laugh, she hadn't felt that in a long time.

"You really are alright, aren't you?" Remus asked and Hermione grinned wider.

"Laughter's the best medicine."

Remus chuckled. "This is true."

"But I really am fine. Never better." Hermione smiled to herself.

Remus returned her smile but still felt concerned. "You were acting funny during dinner."

Hermione jumped. "I didn't think anyone would notice." She admitted.

Remus continued to study her and Hermione had to look away to avoid the scrutiny. "I took some Laugh-inducing potion. I wasn't feeling well and I just-"

Remus frowned at this admittance. She shouldn't feel so upset and be taking potions to feel better. That's what friends were for. "Well then you should talk to someone…like me. You shouldn't be taking potions to feel better. Especially if you don't need them."

Hermione picked a piece of fuzz off her robe and flicked it to the ground. She was avoiding looking at the observant Lupin. He was making her feel stupid, and Hermione hated feeling stupid.

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Hermione stood slowly and adjusted her black robes. "I really can't talk about it. But I'll see you tomorrow Remus." And with that, she left Remus for the safety of her room.

O

O

O

A few days into November Sirius searched through every corner of the library, except for the Restricted Section, until he finally found his target huddled in the farthest corner. "There you are!" Sirius sighed as he approached the studying Hermione and stared down at her form. "If I didn't know better I'd say you've been avoiding me love." Sirius plopped down next to her and glanced at the title of the book in her lap. "Time Travel? Haven't had your fill?" He joked, it was unnerving him that she wasn't responding and her stricken face wasn't exactly reassuring. Realizing the jokes weren't working Sirius groaned and rubbed a hand down his face. It was time to bring in the heavy artillery, namely, seriousness. Which ironically, Sirius wasn't very good at. "Alright listen."

Finally Hermione raised her eyebrows and lowered her book. "To what exactly?"

"An apology?" Sirius looked at her hopefully. Hermione didn't answer and was lowering her head back down to the book when Sirius snatched it from her hands.

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry alright! But you gotta believe me when I say I just couldn't help myself!"

Hermione harrumphed and tried to take her book back. Why did people insist on stealing her things lately? "Give it here Sirius."

"No." Hermione glared at him and he hastily finished. "Just hear me out. Please?" He flashed her a nervous grin and Hermione snorted before folding her arms impatiently.

"You have thirty seconds."

Sirius rolled his eyes and then brought his gaze back to Hermione's face. His scrutiny was freaking her out so she nervously twitched after a moment and released her tense arms. "Oh alright."

Sirius smiled before gently picking up Hermione's hands. "Hermione, I'm not a complicated guy."

_Oh God._ Hermione internally groaned_. Give me the strength to not beat this boy to death_.

"When I like a girl, I like her."

He is making no sense.

"So when I kissed you…it's just what I do."

"Get to the point Sirius." Hermione resisted the urge to rub her temples. He was giving her a migraine.

Sirius glared at her before sighing and slumping against the bookshelf behind him. Hermione tried to tug her hands away from his but he noticed and gripped them harder. "Fine fine. Alright…the truth is I've never really liked any girl as much as I like you, you're fun and easy to be around, you know that I'm full of shit and you don't let me forget it, and you're brilliant, honestly I don't deserve you but…"

Hermione raised her eyebrows but she was almost curious about what he had to say.

"I think we'd be good together and Charlus always says if a girl's too good for you, you gotta get her before someone else does."

"That doesn't make any sense." Hermione muttered but Sirius ignored her.

Then something clicked in her brain and Hermione leapt to her feet. "Wait a second! Are you….asking me out? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" Hermione screeched before she remembered they were in the library.

"OUT! GET OUT!" Madam Pince dashed around the corner and began beating Sirius with a rolled up newspaper. "I thought I told you to never come in here again!"

"Ow Merlin's beard woman! I'm leaving I'm leaving!" Sirius leapt to his feet and dragged Hermione as he tried to make a hasty get away from the mad librarian. But Hermione was frantically picking up her things and slowing them down.

After a few long moments and Sirius complaining of child abuse, Hermione and Sirius left the library and Sirius was able to pull Hermione into the nearest deserted classroom.

"What planet are you living on Sirius? How on _Earth_ would we be good for each other?" Hermione dropped her bag on a desk and began the conversation they'd started in the library which had been interrupted at exactly the wrong moment.

"Well here's how I see it." Sirius leaned against a desk and folded his arms calmly. "I'm a troublemaker, and proud of it. But I'll admit I can be a little over the top."

"Understatement of the year." Hermione growled and Sirius leapt up with a huge grin.

"See! That's what I mean! You're so down to Earth, you can straighten me out, you're better at getting me to mellow out like no ever has!" Sirius ran a hand through his hair and Hermione just stared at him in amazement.

"Of all the stupid-"

"But sometimes, you're a little bit uptight. No offense."

"Oh none taken." Hermione said sarcastically and glared at the absurd boy.

"So that's where I come in and I balance you out and help you have some fun."

"I'm fun!" Hermione protested and Sirius looked at her with a quirked eyebrow. "I am!" She shouted.

"The thing is, love, I've never liked any bird as much as I do you. I've never even considered having a serious relationship and now….well I want one with you."

This stopped Hermione. "You've never…not even one?"

Sirius gave her a half smile and watched her expectantly.

Guilt was building in Hermione. Sirius had never liked anyone? But how could that be? Hermione thought of all the things that Sirius would have to go through like spending most of his life in Azkaban, almost having his soul eaten by Death Eaters, be marked as a murderer and have to spend the rest of his life in the house he hated most…and he'd never have a witch that he could have a serious relationship with? The whole thing was making Hermione really worry about Sirius' mental state. Could someone really have such a traumatizing life experiences and come out unscathed? Of course that was a ridiculous reason to date anyone but…she felt so bad for him when she realized how alone Sirius Black actually was.

But she couldn't date him. There was no possible way that that could ever happen…

"Just think about it." Sirius interrupted her thought process. He must have taken her silence as hope and he was looking at Hermione expectantly.

People had dated for much stupider reasons. Take her and Krum. She'd gone out with him because he was attractive and to be honest, she thought it would really piss Ron off…That hadn't turned out so well of course.

"But I'm leaving." Hermione said simply.

Sirius' face fell slightly but he shrugged and gave her another smile. "All the more reason, you gotta make the most of the time you have."

Hermione sucked in a breath. He'd unwittingly reminded her that Sirius really didn't have much time.

"And whether you leave tomorrow or in a few months I want to use that time to make you as happy as you've made me."

Merlin, this guilt really was eating at her. But the only way of relieving it was to say yes and that would be too easy. Sometimes what was right wasn't easy.

"This might be one of the worst ideas you've ever had." Hermione sighed.

"Or the best." Sirius countered.

Hermione wished she could slam her forehead repeatedly into the desk. "I really could throttle you at this moment. How is that conducive to a healthy relationship?"

Sirius grinned and almost skipped across the room to her. "Is the thought of dating me really that bad?"

"Well…no…I just…THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

Sirius' hand was suddenly over her mouth, effectively shutting her up. "Listen for just two seconds." Hermione glared at him over his large hand. This conversation wasn't going at all how he'd thought it would.

Doriana's promises maybe weren't the best thing to listen to. But what had she to gain from lying about Hermione's feelings? Girls were an enigma.

"Let me make you happy."

Sirius studied Hermione's doe-like brown eyes and he could see a sliver of doubt and indecision. But he knew that Hermione needed a little happiness, she cried too much, and if she was crying this much in her own time she must have experienced too much for any seventeen year old should. Maybe he could relieve some of that pain.

"If you say no, it won't change our friendship. But I really do think that we'd be good together…and if you won't go out with me….at least come to the Slug Club Ball with me."

He waited patiently for her to answer for a few minutes before realizing he still had his hand over her mouth. "Oh right sorry!" He dropped it and tilted his head nervously. It was a habit he'd picked up since becoming an Animagus dog.

And for the first time in years, Hermione found herself at a loss for words.

**A/N: So about the Reg Flashback, if you didn't notice, I messed up Andromeda and Bellatrix's ages. Bella is actually older but it's not really all that important to this story so sorry nitpickers, but I probably won't go back and change it because I'm tired and I just want to get this up.**

**This is how I imagined them:**

**Regulus=8 or 9, Sirius=10, Narcissa= 11, Bella=13, and Andromeda=15 **

**Sorry if that was confusing. I'm not even sure if these other ages are canon but it's really not important to the story I promise. I'm just trying to clear up any confusion. This is also why none of Sirius' cousins are at Hogwarts. Or Lucius Malfoy, who I imagine is about four years older than the Marauders and Snape.**

**Also to be honest, I felt weird about putting this chapter up. I just don't know how it will be received. But I threw caution to the wind obviously :) **

**Thank you all, you wonderful readers! I love you all dearly and it's heartwarming that you guys send me love and even bother to read what I write, so thank you a thousand times over!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Let me just remind you that I do not own Harry Potter or anything that you recognize in this story, the wonderful, fantastic, magnificent, marvelous, amazing, brilliant, beautiful blonde called J.K. Rowling does….love her :) And if you did not know this you need to get out from under that rock you're living under.**

**So the Bellatrix age thing was really bothering me so I looked it up and Bellatrix is 8! 8! Years older than Sirius! Can you believe that? I just can't imagine. So I have taken liberties with Ms JKR's story and in this particular fanfiction she's only a few years older. Sorry if you could care less or if you really don't like it but I hope you'll bear with me.**

**Chapter 14**

1997:

Harry lay in the dirt for three days. It had to be one of the worst experiences of his life, sitting there, listening to a bunch of werewolves snap and argue amongst themselves, and with the knowledge that at any moment one might smell him and Harry would be attacked. He had to be constantly diligent to make sure he wasn't discovered by the pack of werewolves, they had a keen sense of smell and Harry had rubbed dirt into his skin in hopes of dumb-ing down his human scent.

On the final day Harry ran out of food. The weres had gone hunting and Harry had taken the opportunity to reach in his bags and pull out a bag of snacks (they were Dudley's favorite and so to irk his cousin he had taken them) but when Harry reached into the crinkly foil he found it empty and he had to vanish the trash. Angry with himself, Harry grumbled and removed a second bag from his sack. He should have preformed a Multiplying spell on the food, he realized. He had no idea if he could conjure food or if it was even possible. McGonagall would probably be annoyed with him that he'd forgotten the lesson she'd spent on Gamp's Law.

An opportunity to save or even speak to Remus was becoming ever elusive and Harry was beginning to doubt he'd ever escape alive. The wolves were just too smart and kept up a constant guard so there was no chance of getting snuck up on. Harry was considering leaving, if he was caught, the wolves might kill him or the Order would be forced to send a rescuing party after him. The thought was horrifying because he couldn't imagine someone risking themselves just to come after him because of his own stupidity.

Honestly he had no idea how he had managed to get so close and stay hidden for so long. He hoped it wasn't pure dumb luck, because luck had a bad habit of running out for him.

Harry had a system that he'd developed that revolved around the wolves' schedule. During the day they were usually gone- out hunting or negotiating land treaties with the centaurs. But when the night came they would return to camp and he was able to study the werewolves. He hadn't seen much of Remus, who seemed to blend in with the crowd frighteningly well. Whenever Harry did manage to catch a glimpse of him, he looked healthier and younger. But he was also unhappy and kept to himself. Harry wanted more than anything to find a way of gaining his friends attention but the thought of being torn apart by savage werewolves always stilled him.

Harry had had enough of the reckless saving behavior he leaned toward. It hadn't done Sirius any good and he hoped that if he bide his time, he would be able to get himself and Remus out of the situation. At least this was the thing he knew Hermione would suggest. She'd want Harry to think before he ran into that clearing and shot Stunning Hexes at anything that moved.

_Are you happy now, Hermione? Now that you're not around I listen to you. _He inwardly chuckled.

Otherwise Harry tried to not move a lot and slept in short naps. This wasn't really healthy but he was too frightened of missing a chance and his nerves were shot.

His observations of the wolves were also growing completely pointless. The wolves weren't attacking any humans or even planning to. From what he'd learned at their nightly meetings the wolves hoped that the wizarding war would allow them to finally reach some measure of solitude from other wizards. And although this view was shared by most of the werewolf clan, Harry had also seen some of the younger wolves complain and had heard hints of mutiny. They wished to join the rising Dark Lord, who had promised the werewolves some measure of freedom and rights.

Harry feared that their naiveté would lead to Remus' death but this view was only a small group of rebels in the pack of almost fifty werewolves.

Harry had also noticed that even though they were called the 'Brotherhood' of the Moon, there were quite a few females scattered in the bunch. They were wildly beautiful with mangy long hair and harsh yellow eyes. The whole of them were skinny as twigs and had sharp pointy teeth which they bared like animals when angry.

But all of these almost useless observations served to annoy Harry. All he wanted was a way to get Remus' attention and either leave him to find Hermione or escape with him to find Hermione.

So Harry waited through the days.

On the third day, there was finally a break in routine.

Harry picked up a red leaf that was lying beside him on the pine needle strewn ground. He could see the veins and vibrant color of the dead leaf and he began to tear it up.

He still couldn't think of any way that he would be able to sneak in among the wolves and attack. Normally he would have already been in there and went straight for Lupin, but he figured the other members of the Brotherhood wouldn't like that and would come after him. So he waited, and waited, for any opportunities.

After the leaf was properly destroyed, Harry turned to the clearing. He lay on his stomach and slowly inched forward so that even the acute hearing of the wolves couldn't detect his shuffling. He could almost sense that something was different in the air, and that the wolves could feel it too. No owls or foxes or raccoons made any sound or seemed to be around, making the whole forest quiet and eerie.

The werewolves appeared through the dense trees and made a tighter circle than usual. They didn't light a fire and Harry shivered. The fire would have normally kept him warm the whole night and the smoke hid his scent. This was bad but he'd probably freeze in the unforgiving winter air before they found him.

All the werewolves were looking into the trees on the exact opposite side of the clearing that Harry was on. Except Lupin who was hiding behind another wolf that he usually sat next to at meetings. Harry couldn't see anything but it looked like the wolves were expecting something to come any moment from the darkness. They sat in total silence and refused to move for what seemed like hours to Harry. They seemed to do this a lot and Harry was curious how they could sit in one attitude for so long.

But Harry's musings were finally broken when all the wolves tensed at the same time and finally Harry could hear a crackling of tree branches and bushes. The thing coming through the trees obviously wanted to make itself known. A final branch was pushed aside and a cloaked figure stepped into the clearing. The figure had a Death Eater's mask to cover his face and walked in long strides. He also carried his wand in plain sight which Harry knew would infuriate the werewolves. There were a few animalistic growls from the crowd and Harry tensed in anticipation. Harry remembered Hagrid's story of the giants he'd told him and Hermione two years ago, about their meetings with Death Eaters, because standing in front of the congregation of werewolves was none other than Lucius Malfoy.

Harry gripped his wand and ignored his pounding heart. He crawled forward, all the time praying his pounding heart wasn't alerting the werewolves to his presence. Lucius stood in front of the growling werewolves calmly and scanned them for the leader.

Finally the biggest male in the circle stood and snapped his teeth. "Who're you to dare enter the Brotherhood of the Moon's territory?"

Many of the werewolves answered the question with fierce growls and howls.

A female stood and bared her sharp canines. "Wizard scum! Leave at once!" Her voice was high and raspy and traveled far for every wolf to hear.

At this announcement there was a collective howl of approval and Harry saw Lucius Malfoy shudder in clear fright. He must have been sickened to be the one to be sent to speak with the werewolves but he must've also been on the Dark Lord's bad side since Draco's failure.

Lucius accepted their screams and protests and tried to hide behind a docile mask but Harry had seen his façade slip for a moment, and so had the gray cloaked leader. He sneered and snapped his menacing jaws once more. "What do you want wizard?" There were catcalls and bellowing laughter coming from the werewolves now and Harry cowered, he'd never seen them act this way before. Usually they led their lives in quiet thoughtfulness and meditation. Now, in the presence of a wizard, their true nature shown through and Harry was petrified. He searched for Lupin's face to reassure him that not everyone in the circle was going crazy. Lupin was difficult to spot in the chaos but Harry wasn't disappointed to see him sitting calmly and studying Malfoy with great care. He could see his favorite teacher's concerned expression as he watched the wolves' violent reaction. Maybe he truly was here as a spy and not to abandon the Order. Harry sincerely hoped so, for Tonk's sake. Harry sucked in his breath. He turned away and focused on the leader again.

Malfoy straightened his back and took two deliberate steps toward the leader then fell to his knees. His nose scraped against the hard dirt as he spoke, "I come in humbled submission before the Brotherhood of the Moon as my Master's voice."

The werewolves quieted slightly at these terms and observed Malfoy and his daring. Then all eyes twisted to their chief.

Glaring down at the intruder, the gray cloaked chief stepped forward so he was towering over Malfoy. "And who is your Master, wizard? Are you wizards even capable of loyalty?" Harry understood immediately. Above all other things loyalty to the pack and his fellow brothers was the number one priority of every member of the Brotherhood of the Moon. Remus had had a hard time of acceptance because of his attempts to live in wizard society and his first abandonment of the pack.

If Lucius did not answer to the wolves' satisfaction he would be killed. Harry gnawed at his lip in fear and anticipation. If only the wolves' would stick to their plan of neutrality Harry knew Voldemort would lose a powerful ally.

The clearing was silent. No wolves moved or growled, Harry was holding his breath, knowing what was coming.

"I serve the all powerful, Dark Lord." Lucius stood once more, his head bowed respectively and a few of the younger wolves shared looks and wolfish grins. There were hisses and growls at the name and many stood and growled at the cowering Malfoy.

Lupin stepped forward. His yellow eyes shone brightly and his hands flexed into fists as he attempted to remain level-headed. He looked like he was on the verge of speaking, probably to tell Malfoy to get lost and Harry watched eagerly. The familiar face was comforting but he was slightly ashamed to realize that he wondered if Remus would disappoint him.

Harry felt blood drip from the bite he'd given himself on his lips. The blood fell from his chin and splashed to the ground. He wiped his chin and stared at his red fingers uncomprehendingly.

The chief suddenly went stiff. His hairs bristled and he sniffed the air hungrily. "Shut up!" His voice was harsh and throaty. The werewolves went silent and stared at him in surprise. He spun on the spot and his eyes roamed the trees. "Don't you smell it?" He was practically screaming and his eyes were becoming more dangerous by the moment. He shook from head to foot and he completely ignored the form of Malfoy still splayed across the ground.

A few other wolves sniffed the atmosphere and immediately became just as crazy as the leader. "BLOOD!" A younger wolf screamed and cracked his knuckles in anticipation. Wolves howled and glared around into the trees.

Harry licked his broken lip and stood slowly. He'd run, they'd catch him, but he'd run.

"Wounded deer?" An elder was shuffling in between the crazed youngsters and heading to the leader.

With as much control that he had left the chief shook his head. "No. Human." His scream filled the air as his back cracked and the bones across his body shifted and grew. Control disappearing with the scent of blood.

Harry was shaking from fright. His palms sweaty and his legs jelly. He fled. If he lived through this he'd never doubt Hermione again, he really did have a saving-people-thing that need to be taken care of immediately.

Harry leapt over rocks and roots of ancient trees, making a mad dash for the edge of the forest. He knew he'd never make it that far but maybe he could find a way to get Dobby's attention and find help.

Harry leapt over a bush and pumped his legs harder. He refused to be caught. He'd escaped deranged Death Eaters, soul-sucking Dementors, giant man-eating spiders, revenge-seeking Centaurs and the most evil wizard the wizarding world had ever known, Voldemort. He could outrun a couple werewolves.

But a root seemed to jump in front of him out of nowhere and Harry found himself scrambling across the forest floor. Panic set in when he heard a howl behind him and another drop of blood dripped down his chin. He swiped at the liquid furiously and jumped to his feet.

He ran harder and faster and further than he had in his life but the howls and yelps only grew louder and closer. Harry kept it up for longer than he could've hoped. It was nearing morning but he was also exhausted. He didn't think he could run for another moment but he'd go as far as he could.

He was close to collapsing when he jumped a fallen log and hit his shoulder on a low hanging branch. A gash appeared in his right shoulder and Harry gasped in pain before he stumbled and fell against the nearest tree.

His heart pounded and blood rushed to his head, making him dizzy and disorientated. White spots blurred his vision and he felt his body go limp. The lack of sleep and the stinging wound were clouding his head and confusing him. He was on the ground, giving up. But that was okay wasn't it? He must have been running for hours.

After everything he'd had to go through these past sixteen years, he was going to die. Leaving the Dursley's, that first boat ride across the lake, finding Sirius, losing Sirius, finding a family in the Weasleys, facing Voldemort in that graveyard, becoming the Triwizard Tournament Champion, meeting Ron and Hermione, and Ginny. Always Ginny.

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he recalled her bright brown eyes and her long red hair swinging around her shoulders. How he'd miss her kindness and the sweet smell of flowers that followed her. And the last thing he'd said to her was that he wanted to break up. What a fool he'd been.

But Ron would take care of her. And she'd find some other wizard…Anger built in Harry's chest and dried his unshed tears. The injustice of it all was infuriating. Why'd Voldemort have to pick him that night? At this moment he could be with his parents, Ron and Hermione, and Ginny. But no, the evil bastard just had to make those damn Horcruxes and take everything away from him.

If he lived, Harry was going to kill him. He was going to make Voldemort regret the day Severus Snape came to him with that Prophecy and the day he stepped into Godric's Hollow. Voldemort would pay.

But if he didn't live… Voldemort would win and no one would ever remember his Horcruxes but Ron.

He just wished he knew where Hermione was. What if she'd been captured by Death Eaters and he'd done nothing but sit in a forest for three days and get himself killed. This thought was making him feel guilty and more than anything he wished he could take one last stand.

Would his father be ashamed his son would die on his knees?

Harry gritted his teeth and, ignoring the pain in his shoulder and aching legs, he stood.

Finally a bush rustled in front of him and he almost fainted with relief. "Remus!" He felt sick and licked his lips and tried to calm his pounding heart. Lupin stepped closer to him.

"Oh Harry. What are you doing here?" His voice was so kind. And Harry was so weak. He fell forward and Lupin caught him. Leaning him against the tree Lupin pushed hair out of Harry's sweaty face. "Oh Harry." He said again.

"Hermione…where's Hermione?" Harry gripped the front of Lupin's cloak and the ragged werewolf tried to hide his pained expression.

"Does anyone know where you are Harry?" Lupin tapped Harry's cheek but his eyes were fluttering closed and Lupin could only watch as Harry fell into unconsciousness. They were both doomed and it was his entire fault.

After his memories had returned, every bloody detail of the witch he loved, Remus had almost lost his mind. Luckily or unluckily, it had been the full moon and his human senses and feelings had taken a backseat for one night. This had allowed Remus to cope but it had also led him into the fold of the Brotherhood.

Lupin knew he was weak. He had Tonks waiting for him and Harry and the rest of the Order, but he'd chosen the wrong way to deal with his problems…running.

And now Harry had followed him and they were both dead.

The trees were pushed aside once more and three more werewolves came into view.

The leader had calmed down during the chase and was now only hunting the human for questioning, or pride. If he'd seen any of their meetings he would have to be killed. No humans were allowed in their ranks. As he pushed closer through the trees and came across Remus he smiled. "Good job, Remus."

Remus looked up and bowed his head. "I know him."

The chief nodded, Remus had spent most of his life with humans, had tried to be a part of an unforgiving and cruel society. The Brotherhood was much more forgiving. "Did he follow you?"

Remus turned back to Harry. Harry was like a son to him. "Probably." He whispered and brushed his bangs aside to reveal the lightning shaped scar.

The Chief showed no reaction to the scar but turned away from Remus and the young wizard. "You have condemned him."

Remus lifted the unconscious figure of Harry and cradled him like a small child. "I know the consequences." But already a plan was forming in Lupin's head as he planned a way for them to get out of here alive.

Nodding, the chief turned away and headed back to the clearing where the other werewolves would be waiting. He shook his head in anger. _Two humans in one night, what is this world coming too?_

_O_

_O_

_O_

Harry woke up painfully slow.

His first feeling was that his arm was stinging. No,_ burning_. There was something wrong with it but Harry was no healer and he would need some damn light to see what to do about it anyway. Harry tried to sit up. He hissed and scrunched his eyes when jabs of pain shot up his arm and into his sluggish brain.

He could feel the dull ground beneath him and he knew from the split second his eyes had been open that everything was pitch black.

What could he remember? Where was he?

A wave of nausea rolled over him and Harry was forced to roll to his uninjured side and release the contents of his stomach. He already didn't have much to eat and this was just a waste. Sweat dripped down his face and chills were being to shake his body. What was wrong with him?

He gently touched his upper arm, where he was injured and sucked in a breath of pain. The wound had gone un-cleaned. He could feel flakes of dried blood dust his fingers and he was worried that he could feel some dirt. It was a simple injury and would've been an easy heal but now that it was in this state…

Harry closed his eyes and tried to remember what exactly had happened.

He'd been running. Then…Lupin….yes, Lupin had come out of the forest and he'd….fainted? No that was ridiculous. He'd fallen unconscious. That sounded better.

But that still didn't explain why he was now in a tent . Maybe Lupin had tried to take him back to the castle but had…

Frustrated with the lack of information, Harry shifted until he was in a position to stand. His arm was throbbing but he ignored it. If he could just get to the tent's entrance and yell for Lupin then they could go after Hermione. Harry pushed off the ground and immediately fell back to his knees. Bright lights flashed in his vision and blinded him. It was too soon to be standing.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to focus on something besides the pain in his arm and head. "Remus?" Harry shouted as best he could but his throat was dry. He cleared it and tried again. "Remus?"

There was no answer and Harry began to worry. Maybe the wolves had caught up to Remus and himself and now they were prisoner. But that didn't explain why he was alive, why he wasn't tied up, or worse.

Harry frantically searched his person for his wand and groaned when he couldn't find it anywhere. He was definitely a prisoner. Remus wouldn't have taken his only weapon, but maybe he dropped it while he was running through the forest. A pang of regret hit Harry at the thought that he might have lost his wand in the woods. There would be no way to retrieve it from this vast forest.

He would try one more time and if his head was still spinning he'd just have to crawl to that tent door.

So he dug his hands into the dirt floor and slowly pushed himself up to his hands and knees. His injured arm was trembling so he put more pressure on his legs but he doubted he could stand. Harry shuffled across the ground in a strange looking limp-crawl until he reached the tent flap. He listened for a moment to see if he could hear anything, hopefully Remus, moving around but there was nothing. Reassured, Harry lifted his left hand to push the fabric away and was rewarded with the view of a pair of legs standing in his way.

Harry yelped and leapt back, pain shot up is arm in waves but he was more frightened by what he'd seen outside his tent.

He was in the werewolf encampment, with Lucius Malfoy standing right outside his tent.

Frozen in terror on his back Harry tried to regain some form of balance back as three figures entered the tent. He could see by the light of Malfoy's wand tip, Lucius Malfoy, the werewolves' leader and Remus.

Lucius looked smug, which was a disturbing thought. If Lucius was happy then it couldn't mean good things for Harry. Not even Remus' blank expression was reassuring him. Remus was looking stalwartly down at the floor, refusing to meet Harry's questioning gaze. This was really bad. The leader looked as if he had a duty to complete that he wasn't particularly happy about but it needed to be done.

"Boy. What have you come here for?"

"R-R-Remus." Harry was furious his voice was shaking but there wasn't much he could do for the terror building in his chest. They would kill him. They might even let Malfoy do it.

"He is no longer a part of your world wizard. You should have let us be." The leader said simply.

"This wizard is disgrace, a vagabond, a criminal." Malfoy lied through his teeth.

Harry tried to protest but Remus turned to Malfoy and snapped his teeth in warning. "Shut up."

The leader watched the exchange in amusement before turning once again to Harry. "How long have you been living in that bush boy?"

"I wasn't living in any bush." Harry said. "I just wished to speak with…my father." The leader raised his eyebrow and Malfoy laughed. Remus looked at Harry in horror and Harry realized he had said the wrong thing. He had hoped saying Remus was family would appeal to the leaders better nature but they must know who he was. "I was only there for a few moments."

"See. He is a liar." Malfoy pointed at the prone boy. His eyes were filled with madness and he gritted his teeth in a grotesque smile. "You should kill him."

"Nonsense." Remus said. "He is only a child." Remus sounded calm but Harry could see the fear in Remus' eyes. It filled him with dread and a strange acceptance.

"He is your charge Remus." The leader said with finality and headed to the entrance of the tent. "Do not disappoint me." These words scared Harry more than anything but then the man was gone and Harry could breathe again.

Malfoy also left without a backwards glance.

Remus dropped to Harry's side and examined his injured arm, which Harry had forgotten about in the last few minutes. "You're going to be alright Harry, I promise."

"But Remus, what about all these werewolves? The guards? Malfoy? How exactly are we supposed to get out of here?" Harry sighed and gently moved away from Remus. "How could you leave Lupin?"

O

O

O

1976:

Lily rolled up the finished potion's essay and stuffed it in her bag. "Finally!"

Snape sat next to her and glanced at the rolled up parchment. "Do you want me to look at it?"

"That won't be necessary." Lily smiled. Things had been going well between her and Snape. It was almost like their first few years of being friends again, and not the rocky, uncertain relationship they'd had since James took a fancy to her in third year. Sev was managing to remain neutral about her friendships with the Marauders and although she'd sometimes see him glaring at James and Sirius he never mentioned them.

"Lily…I was wondering..." Snape seemed to be struggling with words, which was very unusual for him. Snape was very sharp with his words and never wasted them; he always planned out what he wanted to say and how the things he said were perceived. It was a Slytherin trait that she admired, but sometimes he would slip and say something hurtful or on a whim, like when he'd called her a mudblood.

Lost in her musings, Lily missed Remus entering the library and coming to find a seat at the table with Sev and herself.

"Hello Lily. Snape."

"Hello." Lily said pleasantly. Snape merely nodded and scribbled something out on his paper, obviously what he wanted to tell her he couldn't say in front of others. "What are you here for?" Lily tried to continue the conversation. Sev was useless at that sort of thing.

"Well we have prefect duties tonight." Remus said. He glanced at Snape, who ignored him.

"I'll meet you in a moment." Lily sighed. She'd completely forgotten and was grateful for Remus' thoughtfulness. Remus said goodbye to Snape before leaving the library once again.

"What did you want to say Sev?" Lily asked as she packed her bag and stood. "I have to go so…"

Snape frowned at his essay before returning Lily's stare. Sometimes when he looked at her his gaze was very intense, like he wanted to pull her away from everyone and speak privately. He was a shy person, so it wasn't really surprising but sometimes his intenseness concerned her. "What did you want for Christmas?"

Lily could tell immediately this wasn't what he'd wanted to say because he turned away at the last moment and wasn't meeting her eyes.

"Treacle Tarts. Same as always." Lily said. If he wanted to talk he knew where to find her.

Snape almost smiled. "I get you those every year Lily. Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"You know they're my favorite." Lily called over her shoulder as she followed Remus out of the library.

Lily turned the corner and found the teen leaning against the wall, waiting for her. Remus looked up as she approached him. "Hey. Are you ready?"

Lily patted her robes to make sure she still had her prefects badge before nodding and they began patrolling together.

They did this for several hours in relative silence. It wasn't an awkward one though. Remus was a pleasant person, it was hard to feel uncomfortable around him. She was used to patrolling with him at least once a week since fifth year and they had always done it quietly. She thought that this might have something to do with the fact that he was always around Sirius and James who were very loud and boisterous and Remus just didn't seem like he had that kind of personality. He was very studious and thoughtful, but she disapproved of the fact that he didn't try harder to control James and Sirius. He was a prefect and he should've at least attempted to stop them from teasing Severus, but he never did.

This hadn't stopped Lily from keeping his secret though. Lily knew that Remus was a werewolf. She'd guessed in second year when his absences became a monthly thing. But she had identified with him on a certain level, he was like her, an outcast because of something he could not control. Him a werewolf and her a muggleborn. So she'd kept his secret and even when Severus had voiced his suspicions she'd tried to steer him away from the thought. She didn't want Remus to have to leave Hogwarts because on some level she'd believed that she would have to leave too.

Now of course she knew this wasn't true but she wanted Remus to stay because he was a good, kind person and an excellent Prefect…most of the time.

"How's Hermione?" Remus asked surprisingly and Lily had to think on the answer she was so surprised he'd spoken.

"She's good. She feels pretty bad about the whole Sirius thing." Lily rolled her eyes. "Is no not in the Marauder's vocabulary or something?"

Remus laughed and shook his head. His hair was getting a little long and was brushing the top of his eyes. "I guess not."

Lily sighed but now that they were on the topic…"Remus have you noticed that Hermione doesn't ever write anyone?" He suddenly looked very uncomfortable and avoided meeting her eyes as he answered.

"I'm sure she's written someone."

"No. No I've been checking because I was concerned and now I've come to find out she's not going home for Christmas." Lily stopped. Maybe she'd given away too much but she just very concerned for her new friend. Hermione was a sweet girl who worked hard at everything she did but Lily wouldn't turn a blind eye to something suspicious. "She speaks to you a lot. Have you talked about her home life or anything?"

"I don't think you should worry about it too much Lily." Remus said firmly and the conversation once again came to a halt, but for the first time it was slightly awkward.

_He's hiding something. They both are. And I'm going to find out what it is._ Lily thought with certainty.

O

O

O

Sirius was levitating a pillow over James' head while he read over Peter's essay.

"Do you have to do that?" Said James in a very annoyed tone.

Sirius sighed and flicked his wand, making the pillow soar across the room and land on Remus' bed. "Why can't we go bother Snivellus again?"

"Because Lily wouldn't like it." James said simply and crossed out an incorrect fact on the essay. He'd finally caught on to school work and was performing much better in all of his classes thanks to Hermione. He could even check Peter's work and help his own friends out now. Remus had become terribly busy since Halloween. The younger years were restless and eager for the term to end, making them rowdier than ever. He'd been grateful when James offered to read over Peter's essay.

Sirius groaned before rolling over and screaming into his pillow. "ARGH!"

"What was that Padfoot? I can't hear you?" James chuckled.

Sirius turned his head to glare at James. "Oh shut up! All I hear from you is Lily this and Lily that!"

James shrugged and a smirk fell on his face. "What? Is that bitterness I detect?"

Peter clapped his hands and laughed at Sirius' dark expression. Sirius growled before taking his pillow and trying to toss it at James' head. It missed and hit the wall behind him.

Now James was laughing too. "Aren't you supposed to be a beater? You're losing your touch Sirius! With woman and sport!"

Peter was laughing even harder now and rolled off his bed.

"She didn't say no alright!" Sirius huffed as he paced in front of his bed. "She didn't!"

James tried not to laugh anymore as he set down his work. "What would you call it then?"

"We came to an understanding."

James and Peter burst into more hysterics and Sirius sighed. "Oh alright she thinks I'm a bloody stalker."

"I told you didn't I? I told you, you were making an arse of yourself." James scolded.

"Let's not talk about that." Sirius waved off Hermione's refusal of him. It had hurt but now he could see what she was talking about, to her (as strange as he might think it was) Sirius Black was forty and her best friend's Godfather. At least she'd agreed to come to the Slug Club thingy with him. It saved a little of his ego. Until Prongs and Wormtail had to bloody beat it up again. Eventually he'd convince her he really did like her, but not today. "How are you and Lily?" Sirius looked at James eagerly (eager to change the subject, more like). Peter also sat up and looked between James and Sirius.

"Much better. The fair maiden has not demanded I leave her side in some time."James bowed and Peter laughed gaily from his position on the floor.

"Has she lost her mind then Prongs?" Peter called and Sirius snickered.

"More like come to her senses." James said with a smile. He shut his book and started to move towards his trunk. After digging around in it for a moment he pulled the Marauder's Map from its depths. The boys grinned wickedly as they jumped from their beds and crowded around the paper.

They could immediately make out the normal behavior of various Hogwarts habitants, Dumbledore pacing in his office, Remus and Lily patrolling the corridors and Snape twiddling his thumbs in the library near the potion section.

"You see!"

"No. I'm afraid I don't see my dearest friend." Sirius smirked.

James jabbed a finger at Snape's dot in earnest. "He's not following her around like a lost puppy! This calls for a celebration!" James jumped up and preformed a victory dance around the dorm to Sirius and Peter's amusement.

"Congratulations Prongs. But need I remind you of their little heart to heart only a few days ago?" Sirius shrugged.

But James didn't lose his smile, instead he shook his finger at Sirius. "But now that they're friends again, why is she still allowing me to even stand in the same room eh?"

Peter contemplated this for a moment. "That is strange."

"See! She fought to be friends with us, and has won!" James jumped up onto a bed and bowed several more times. "I. Am. A. Genius."

"Oi! Get off!" Sirius growled when he saw James' trainers leaving large dirt smears on his bedding. He tackled his friend and they playfully wrestled while Peter cheered from the sidelines. Without Remus around to facilitate, rough housing was normal.

"Alright! Alright you win!" James laughed from beneath the victorious Sirius.

"What? The arrogant Mr. Potter has admitted defeat?" Peter snorted.

"Very funny Wormtail. Now get this big oaf off me."

Sirius playfully smacked the back of James' head before standing and helping his friend up. "So does this mean you don't want me to do that thing we talked about?"

"What?" Peter asked curiously. Sometimes Peter felt a little out of the loop. Especially lately. The arrival of this Hermione girl had really changed the dynamics of the Marauders friendship. Sirius was always chasing her tail like, well, a dog. Remus and James were always studying with her or asking advice on ways to get on Lily Evan's good side. She even got on with Snape of all people. But she had made a point of avoiding him. It still bothered Peter even though he had decided to ignore it a few weeks ago, but he had a senseless desire to fit in. Maybe it was because of his shy personality or the way he admired his great friends but he hadn't really found a way to stand out. His mother had always told him he'd grow into his role but Peter had to admit he couldn't seem to get out from under his highly talented friends' shadows.

_If only I was as charismatic as James, as intelligent as Remus or as handsome as Sirius, maybe then she'd pay attention to me._ Peter had thought quite a lot of this fact since fifth year.

He wasn't thinking of Hermione of course. But the seventh year girl he'd been crushing on since fifth year. She was quite beautiful with straight brown hair and the most perfect set of lips he'd ever seen on a witch.

He'd never told the other Marauders of his affections because Peter had a sinking feeling they would tease him for it and he could never work up the courage to approach her.

Embarrassed, Peter realized he'd once again zoned out of the conversation to think of her.

"Like I said James, I can't tell you what I plan on doing but it will end all our problems with Snivellus." Sirius crossed his arms confidently and stalked over to his desk.

"I don't like that you won't tell me the plan Padfoot. It makes me suspicious." Grinned a jovial James.

"Tell me Sirius!" Peter tried to join the discussion again.

"Afraid I can't old boy." Sirius smirked as he leaned against the desk. His position was confident and cool, his hair effortlessly falling into what looked like a haphazard manner but actually took hours to perfect. "But you'll know when I've pranked our old nemesis, you'll know. You just make sure you ask little Red to the Slug Club Ball and I'll do the rest."

"If this prank is dangerous Sirius-" James warned but was cut off by Sirius.

"Oh bugger off Prongs. It's just a little fun."

Sirius and James glared at each other for a moment before James gave up and shook his head.

"You've planned a prank without us?" Peter asked, a little slow on the uptake.

Sirius shrugged before grinning wolfishly at Peter. "And who are you taking to the Slug Club Ball Wormtail?"

James rolled his eyes at Sirius' actions. He'd very unsubtly changed the subject.

"Well I- I- I'm not actually a part of the Slug Club." Peter flushed when he thought of his crush immediately at Sirius' words.

"That's no big deal. There will probably be so many people there, they won't notice one or two more." Sirius pointed out.

"There is this one girl." Peter muttered. He had never planned on telling his friends about his crush but Sirius was known for his smoothness with woman. Hermione had been the first to ever reject him without a backwards glance. Maybe Sirius could help him talk to her.

"Who?" James asked. James had never noticed Peter liking anyone before. For some reason it was a rather unsettling idea. Peter was so much like his rat alter-ego that James had never considered he would date.

"Whoever she is, she won't be able to resist a Marauder." Sirius chuckled from his bed and Peter flushed. He really had been on the verge of telling them but now he could feel himself closing off.

"It's not a big deal." Peter brushed off. But he could still feel the blush around his collar and he cursed himself silently.

O

O

O

"Remus, do you think I did the right thing?"

"Sure."

"That's convincing." Hermione grumbled.

Remus chuckled and set aside his essay for Charms. "Sirius is sensitive, but it's not as if he was in love with you Hermione." Hermione raised an eyebrow and Remus laughed at her dubious expression.

"Remus. Sirius has been borderline stalker since I've gotten here. But I'm his friend and I do care about his feelings… How do you turn someone down gently?"

Remus shrugged. "There's nothing gentle about rejecting someone's feelings."

"But he knows we're friends doesn't he?"

Remus sighed. "Sirius…" He was searching for a polite way of saying it but no word was coming to mind. "He's not very mature." He finally said, bluntly. But Hermione nodded in understanding. "Eventually he'll realize that our reign at Hogwarts is coming to an end but for now he'll remain a smarmy git."

Hermione raised her eyebrow. "He's not that bad."

Absurd feelings flared up in Remus' chest but he shook it off. "Sirius is my best friend, but he's a little insensitive."

"I know how that is…" Hermione trailed off, thinking of her own red-haired best friend.

"Don't you have a girl friend you can talk about this kind of stuff with?" Remus sighed. He loved spending time with Hermione. But they always seemed to go to these kinds of topics and he was tired of acting the concerned friend. He'd been around Sirius and James enough to know when a boy was dangerously close to the friend zone….Not that there was anything wrong with being friends with Hermione. Remus glanced up at her surprised face and immediately regretted voicing his opinion.

"I guess Lily would-"

"Sorry. Sorry. I'd like to hear this." Remus cleared his homework away from the table in the Gryffindor Common Room and turned to give Hermione his full attention.

It was mid- November, a few days after Hermione had told Sirius to shove it and she was still harboring loads of guilt.

"You're going to that Slug Club thing with him aren't you?" Remus asked nonchalantly but truly he was curious.

"I thought it would be better than just saying no outright. Now he can't say we didn't try." Hermione frowned. "Do you have someone to go with?"

"Doriana." Remus sighed and shrugged it off. The girl had practically demanded he attend with her. The damn Ball was a week before the full moon so it wasn't as if he could use that as an excuse. "But I think you can go with him. Just so long as he knows it's as friends. And he said it was okay if you said no. That almost sounds like he was expecting it." Remus nodded his head and watched Hermione's expression go from dubious to relief.

"That's true."

"This will be good for him."

"He has been a little…." Hermione hesitated.

"Obsessive? Demanding?" Remus filled in and was rewarded with a smile.

"He probably knows how many freckles I have. The boy is mad." Hermione rolled her eyes and waved her quill in annoyance.

Remus smiled before reaching out for Hermione's cheek. "That's easy Hermione. You have 78 freckles." Remus brushed his thumb over her cheek and was rewarded when Hermione's cheek grew hot.

"W-w-what?" She almost shrieked and it took all the control he had for Remus not burst out laughing.

"I'm kidding."

Hermione laughed and Remus enjoyed the sound of it for just a few moments before joining her. He loved the way she would throw her head back when she was really laughing. Her lips were perfect for smiling and laughing as well, the bottom part slightly larger than the top and shaped like a bow. More than anything in that moment he wanted to trace their sweet outline with the rough padding of his thumb. To lean as close as he had that day by the lake, but his time he would find the courage to actually kiss those gentle, perfect lips. Remus blushed at the thoughts invading his head. He realized he still was holding her cheek and he quickly dropped it to her shoulder.

"You had me going for a second there." Hermione shook her head and tried to ignore the warmth of his hand on her shoulder. It was very _there_. In fact, all of Remus was just _there_. Lately, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, she was constantly aware of Remus' presence. When he wasn't there it was distressing to her, she wondered where he could be or who he could be with. But at the same time, when he was with her, she couldn't stop thinking about touching him, talking to him, or even looking at him, it was complete torture either way. It was almost driving her to insanity.

Remus chuckled before reluctantly moving his hand off her shoulder. She was so soft. "Well I am a Marauder. We're naturally mischievous."

_There it is._ Remus thought as she let out another trill of laughter. Remus wished he could close his eyes to just enjoy the musical sound but she had finished and was standing up.

"Walk with me?" Hermione asked and Remus jumped up.

"Where are you off to this fine evening?" Remus grabbed his things and hastily dumped them in his bag so he wouldn't hold her up.

"Dinner."

Remus wanted to throw himself off the astronomy tower for his stupidity. "I completely forgot the time, I'm sorry."

Hermione smiled. "It's alright, I forgot too."

They started toward the Great Hall together. Hermione studied Remus out of the corner of her eye.

_What am I doing?_

Guilt hit Hermione like a brick wall. After everything with Sirius, here she was_ flirting_ with Remus.

But it just came so effortlessly with him, she felt lighter, safer with him around. It was the only time she could forget that she was in danger of destroying her entire future.

More guilt attacked her heart when she remembered that Remus wouldn't remember anything that had happened between them anyway. She needed to step back and try to distance herself somehow. But it was so hard now that she was so involved with these people, she'd made the mistake of befriending them and now it was too late to do anything.

It was a sobering thought and Remus noticed Hermione drooping. "Are you okay?"

"What?" Hermione looked up in surprise; she hadn't realized she'd been brooding until Remus called her back. "Yeah I'm fine." She said lamely. She nervously licked her dry lips and brushed her irritating hair from her eyes.

_Those lips._ Remus groaned inwardly as she licked her lips and pushed a strand of hair out of her innocent brown eyes. She was so intoxicating. Why did she have this effect on him? A wave of strawberry scent accosted his nose as she pulled her hair into a ponytail and he could see smooth skin.

Remus cleared his throat and forced himself to look away_. I need a butterbeer._

O

O

O

"I was thinking more of a lilac shade." Doriana explained to an annoyed Hermione and polite Lily.

"Lilac would go good with your skin." Lily said simply. "I'd like white for myself." These were the first words she'd been able to get in edgewise to Doriana's monologue. Since dinner had started all she could talk about was this annoying, stupid, completely pointless Slug Club bloody Ball.

James' eyes glazed over as he imagined Lily in a white dress, the picture of innocence.

"What about you Hermione?" Doriana asked.

"Periwinkle."

"You'd look lovely in anything love." Sirius smirked and Hermione gave him a warning glare.

"What about that hair of yours?" Doriana gestured to the wild curls that trailed down Hermione's back.

"Excuse me?" Hermione hissed. She was still a little sore about the hair and honestly she didn't think was anything wrong with it. She gripped her goblet and Remus could see the fierce twinkle in her expressive eyes. He smiled into his goblet and decided not to warn Doriana.

"What are you going to do with it?"

"I will do whatever I please with my hair and I won't need your permission or approval to do it." Hermione said angrily.

Doriana's eyes widened but she shrugged. "Whatever."

Hermione was about to respond to Doriana's less than intelligent response but Sirius intervened. Sirius chuckled as he slung an arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Ladies, you're all lovely."

Hermione turned red with anger and embarrassment and was about to yell at Sirius next when a girl approached their side of the table.

"Hello." The girl had a soft voice and only those closest to her looked up at her greeting. She was brunette, with long hair that trailed down to the small of her back and had wide blue eyes.

Hermione was surprised to see Peter sputter into his drink and turn an interesting shade of burgundy.

"Marlene!" Lily said as she jumped up to hug the girl and Hermione, realizing who she was, hid in her goblet. Marlene McKinnon? The girl who'd been a member of the first Order and whose family had been very prominent witches and wizards before they were murdered by Voldemort and his Death Eaters?

"You've been hiding from me!" Lily accused while everyone returned to their dinners, except for Hermione, who was listening closely to the exchange (curiosity getting the better of her) and Peter.

"Sorry dear. These O.W.L.s have been a bitch. Don't come back next year if you can help it." The curse sounded strange with her soft voice but from what Hermione knew of her, Marlene was a very powerful witch. Her blue eyes twinkled as she teased the redhead.

Hermione looked away from Marlene in time to see Peter staring intently at the pretty witch. His gaze was similar to when he'd look at Remus, Sirius or James but now his expression was softer, the emotion stronger than admiration.

He must have sensed her stare because he turned his head and, after meeting Hermione's gaze, turned even redder than he had when Marlene had come to talk to Lily.

**A/N: I'm cruel. Bwahahaha *winks* I like this chapter much more than the last one, hope you agree. Please don't be impatient with me. I know things are happening pretty slow but I don't want Remus and Hermione to be in love for no reason whatsoever. Although they're perfect for each other ahaha. But some of you might find the next chapter more rewarding *hint hint* *winks again*. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Let me just remind you that I do not own Harry Potter or anything that you recognize in this story, the wonderful, fantastic, magnificent, marvelous, amazing, brilliant, beautiful blonde called J.K. Rowling does….love her :) And if you did not know this you need to get out from under that rock you're living under.**

**Okay I know I just put up the last chapter but I wrote this in like five hours and I'M IN LOVE! It's seriously my favorite chapter thus far. Enjoy my little readers!**

**Chapter 15**

_I've been living with a shadow overhead  
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed_  
_I've been lonely for so long_  
_Trapped in the past_  
_I just can't seem to move on_

_I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away_  
_Just in case I ever need them again someday_  
_I've been setting aside time_  
_To clear a little space in the corners of my mind_

_All I want to do is find a way back into love_  
_I can't make it through without a way back into love_

_I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine_  
_I've been searching but I just don't see the signs_  
_I know that it's out there_  
_There's got to be something for my soul somewhere_  
_I've been looking for someone to shed some light_  
_Not somebody just to get me through the night_  
_I could use some direction_  
_And I'm open to your suggestions_

_All I want to do is find a way back into love_  
_I can't make it through without a way back into love_  
_And if I open my heart again_  
_I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end_

_There are moments when I don't know if it's real_  
_Or if anybody feels the way I feel_  
_I need inspiration_  
_Not just another negotiation_

_All I want to do is find a way back into love_  
_I can't make it through without a way back into love_  
_And if I open my heart to you_  
_I'm hoping you'll show me what to do_  
_And if you help me to start again_  
_You know that I'll be there for you in the end_

_Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett- Way Back Into Love_

Hermione touched the soft lace of her dress and tried to relax. It wasn't the style that she would have preferred (again, time difference) but Lily had said she looked beautiful. And indeed she did look pretty.

Hermione had gone to Hogsmeade with Lily, Alice and Doriana to search for a suitable dress. They had had theirs shipped from home but Hermione hadn't had such a luxury and so had to pick from a limited selection in the Hogsmeade robes shop. She didn't really mind but Doriana had acted as if it was a travesty and had begged to come and help Hermione find the perfect dress.

Checking her hair one last itme, Hermione turned away from the mirror and posed for Alice and Lily who squealed. "You look beautiful Hermione!" Alice gasped and gently touched a tendril of soft hair that fell perfectly around Hermione's ear.

Personally, Hermione thought she had looked better at the Yule Ball, she'd decided to leave her hair down and the Sleek Eazy hair potion didn't work quite as well when she wore it down. Her hair fell in waves down her back and shoulders. She hadn't felt she needed makeup but Lily had insisted on mascara. But the dress was her favorite. It wasn't periwinkle but was a creamy white that Lily had been adamant on, it was very lacey and had a high front collar but was low in the back. An inconspicuous bow was tied at her lower waist and fell into a train that didn't make it difficult to walk. It was sexy, yet didn't show more than necessary, it stood out but wasn't flashy, she felt very at home in the form fitting dress.

"I knew the cream was the way to go." Lily nodded confidently and wiped fake tears from her bright green eyes. "My little girl's all grown up."

Hermione smiled and rolled her eyes at Lily's theatrics. "It's just a dress."

"But it's a great dress. Sirius is going to be panting after you all night."

"Great." Hermione sighed and slipped on some of Lily's extra shoes. "Let's just get this over with."

O

O

O

Sirius couldn't breathe.

Never before had a witch stole the breath from his lungs the way Hermione in a dress could, but there you have it. And she didn't want him.

Sirius sighed as he adjusted his bowtie and walked to meet the vision storming down the stairs. "Hello."

"Hello." Hermione answered. Sirius could tell that a moment ago she had been angry, probably with him, but now she was nervous, standing in front of him and being scrutinized.

"You're ravenous." He said with feeling and she gave him a silly smile.

"Do you mean ravishing?"

"That's what I said."

Hermione laughed and Sirius also chuckled. The tension was gone and now they could have fun, just like he'd always intended.

He bowed and released the breath he'd been holding.

"What I mean is you're exquisite."

"Thank you Sirius." He reached out an arm for her to hold and she took it.

He led her through her Hogwarts as if she were a statue of glass that could break at any moment and held the door to Slughorn's office open for her.

It looked very similar to the night Hermione had seen it last year (or was it 20 years in the future?), gauzy pieces of silk were strung from the ceiling and created a feeling of warmth in the dungeons. Slughorn's knick knacks and various arrays of priceless items had been stowed away and in their stead were dark wooden tables with linen cloths and comfy chairs surrounding them.

The moment they entered Slughorn bustled over and shook Sirius' hand. "Look at her! She's a vision you lucky bloke you!" Slughorn winked and Sirius chuckled good-naturedly. Hermione glared between the men and tried to ignore the obvious sexism.

"Thank you." Hermione answered for herself and Slughorn smiled.

"Have as much butterbeer as you like. Now I must attend to other the guests, have fun you two!" Slughorn called over his shoulder as he ran off to annoy other couples.

"That-that-" Hermione could barely contain her annoyance but Sirius saw the danger and quickly grabbed her elbow.

"Let's claim a seat."

He gently led her to a table and sat beside her. He couldn't help but stare at her perfect curves and hair that fell around her face like a wildcat. "Will you dance with me?"

"There's no music." Hermione pointed toward the ceiling and Sirius chuckled.

"Maestro! The lady demands music!" Sirius stood and called out to no one in particular and Hermione grabbed his sleeve and shoved him back into his seat.

"What are you doing?" She laughed and he smiled at her.

"I have to dance with you before some other bloke has the nerve of stealing you away." Sirius stood again and held his arm out. "Now that you've claimed your chair, follow me."

"You're insane."

Sirius enjoyed the banter. "I've heard it before."

Hermione laughed and grabbed his arm. "Oh alright. Where's everyone else?"

"There's James." Sirius pointed to a lonely figure speaking with Professor Flitwick and Hermione nodded. He had asked Lily, several times, to come with him but she had refused, so he had taken Marlene so she could at least attend (she wasn't in the Slug Club). "And Remus and Doriana." He pointed to a different corner where a couple was arguing.

"What are they talking about?"

"How would I know?" Sirius laughed and didn't notice Hermione's blush.

Music began to play and Hermione could see Slughorn jovially shuttling people to the dance floor.

O

O

O

"You're supposed to ask me to dance." Doriana huffed.

"I don't want to dance." Remus replied, equally annoyed and furious with the situation. He didn't want to be here. The room was too loud with the many people and his sensitive senses were going haywire. He felt bombarded and wished he could escape but Doriana wouldn't let him.

She did look beautiful, Remus was unwilling to admit. Her long blonde hair had been curled and bounced and danced around her thin face with every little movement. She had picked a lilac dress that was short and brushed her mid thighs and had a square neckline to show off her light skin.

"Why are you always like this?" Doriana said in a much different tone then she usually used with him. Normally she was bossy and clingy, but now he could see sounded small and sad. She crossed her arms over her dress and stared at the floor and Remus felt guilt tug at his heart. "You're so nice to everyone but me, I feel like you hate me sometimes."

"I don't hate you Doriana." He tried to keep the exasperation out of his voice and must have succeeded because Doriana looked up at him. "Here," He held out his hand and waited for her to grab it. "I'll dance with you alright? But I'm a terrible dancer."

Doriana sighed in contentment and grasped his warm, large hand. Maybe she'd had to bug him incessantly to do it, but he was here, with her, and that's all she'd ever wanted. "I'm sorry I dragged you here." She said in the small voice and Remus shrugged.

They moved to the dance floor with everyone else and with his height, Remus spotted Sirius and Hermione spinning circles around the other couples. Sirius threw her into a dip and she laughed hysterically as he slowly brought her back to a vertical position. The normal feeling of jealousy burned in Remus' stomach but he ignored it and turned back to the witch on his arm.

"How have your classes been?" Remus tried to make light conversation, he felt awkward with Doriana, it wasn't even close to the easy conversation he could have with Hermione.

"Fine." Doriana said. But she looked away from him and Remus was now intrigued. She was lying? Whatever for? It was just a question about classes.

"Really?"

"Well, the curriculum is fine." Doriana said vaguely and now Remus couldn't help but wonder what she was hiding.

"And your Housemates?"

She definitely refused to look at him now. She shrugged and made herself look up at him. "I'd rather talk about you. How's your career planning coming along?"

So something was wrong with her House?

Remus laughed at her question and shrugged it off. "I'll take what I can get."

Doriana was confused by this answer, Remus was quite the student and she figured he could have any job he wanted. "There's nothing you want to be?"

Remus was avoiding looking at her now. They were a strange pair, they couldn't even look at each other. "There are many things I'd like to be…maybe a professor."

Doriana nodded, she could see Remus as a professor, he was kind and understanding and patient. Everything she wasn't.

"And you?" Remus prodded.

"I don't know...Thinking about it usually stresses me out so I try not to think about it." She laughed nervously and Remus felt surprised by her answer.

The song ended and Remus led the girl back to their seats.

O

O

O

Regulus wandered around the crowded room, bored out of his mind. Barty had long ago left with a fellow Ravenclaw and Snape was distracted with Lily Evans once again.

He could see his brother talking with Granger on the dance floor. Everyone had heard about her refusing to date him and Regulus viewed it as a disgrace. Although he had been blown off the family tree by his own mother, Sirius was a Black and should've known better than to even look at a mudblood like her.

Regulus sighed as he fell into a chair and rubbed his eyes. Who was he kidding? Hermione was a very talented witch.

He'd done nothing but study that book she'd handed to him in the library and it sickened him. She'd been completely right. Voldemort was insane and he was beginning to see the folly in the theology he'd believed in for the last fourteen years. It was very confusing for him.

Regulus glanced at his brother once again and wished they were on speaking terms.

_I miss you brother._

Regulus slammed his hand on the table and stood.

"Are you alright?"

For the first time Regulus realized he wasn't the only one at the table. A pale girl with large blue eyes and white-blonde hair was sitting across from him. His brother's friend, Remus Lupin, sat next to her and together they were looking at him in concern. He hated when people looked at him like that, it made him feel weak.

"I'm fine." He said in a cool voice and he was satisfied when they shrugged and turned away.

Regulus looked back towards his brother and was surprised to see him leaving Hermione and walking toward his friend, that Potter boy.

"I'll be back in a moment." He heard Remus say to the girl gently and he stood.

Once he was gone the girl sighed and raised her glass of butterbeer. "Looks like we both got ditched." She took a swig of her drink and Regulus watched her in surprise.

"I was not _ditched_." He said simply and leaned back in his chair. Who was she to say whatever she liked?

"Ah. I see." She took another slow slip and was now looking at him in interest. "Are you Sirius' brother?"

Regulus ground his teeth but answered her in the same cool tone. "Yes." Regulus looked away from her and was amused to see Remus leading Hermione out of the party. He didn't tell the girl though, she was annoying him.

"You look so much alike it's almost scary." She looked him up and down. "Don't look so angry about it, all the girls like Sirius, it's not so bad to be compared to him."

Regulus bristled and resisted the urge to storm away. So long as he acted calm and didn't answer maybe she'd shut up.

Her eyes filled with tears and Regulus was immediately uncomfortable. What was wrong with this girl?

"Are you a Gryffindor?" He asked.

The girl looked up in surprise and shook her head. "Of course not! I'm in Ravenclaw!" She sounded scandalized which Regulus found amusing.

"You sure show a lot of emotion for a Ravenclaw. Maybe you shouldn't hang around the Griffs so much." Regulus smirked. "They're rubbing off on you."

The girl sputtered and glared at him. "Oh not you too! I barely know you and yet you sound like everyone in my House." She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "So what if I sit with them huh? They're much more interesting than talking about books all the time!"

Regulus was lost. "What?"

She must have realized who she was talking to because she sighed and unfolded her arms. "My entire House hates me."

Regulus_ really_ wanted to find another table. "So leave." He shrugged.

The girl snorted but tapped her chin as if she was considering it. "But what about Remus?"

Regulus actually laughed this time. "Well I guess I should tell you he left with that Granger girl quite a while ago."

"What?" The girl jumped to her feet and stared around the room.

"Clearly you are struggling to keep your friends." Regulus shrugged. "The way I see it is, you could become a Slytherin… or transfer to Beauxbatons."

"I do like France." The girl muttered.

"Goodbye." Regulus stood and walked away before the annoying twit could stop him.

_Girls talk too much._

O

O

O

A few minutes earlier:

"There's Lily and…Snape."

Hermione's head snapped to where Sirius was pointing. "She said she wasn't going with anyone!" Hermione gasped and Sirius' expression darkened.

"Obviously not."

Snape and Lily were standing across the room. Lily's red hair was swept up in a chignon and she had a short white dress that was long sleeved and off the shoulder. She was the loveliest witch in the room. She was laughing and holding Snape's shoulder while he had an expression as if he was struggling not to smile. For once his hair was combed back and out of his face and Hermione thought he looked much older and mature than many of the other students.

"Look at James." Sirius muttered. Hermione turned away from the strange sight to see a very distressing one.

James looked crushed. His eyes were almost closed as if he couldn't bear to look at Lily happy with anyone else. He slouched against a pillar and swirled a cup of butterbeer absently. His legs were crossed and he looked as if he had closed himself off to the party. He slung the cup back before turning away and walking out.

"I should go check on him." Sirius muttered. He gently touched Hermione's shoulder before giving her a smile and following his best friend out.

"You're a good friend Sirius." Hermione whispered to the air. She shook her head and tried to rid herself of that last image of James.

"What was that?" Remus asked behind her and Hermione smiled as she spun.

"There you are! Are you having fun?"

Remus slowed as she spun and Hermione could see his eyes flash a bright gold for a moment. Over her time with here with Remus, Hermione had learned that Remus was still struggling with his self control. In the future, when she knew him, he had mastered it, but when he was younger, Remus had trouble controlling emotions. When his emotions ran high it was easier for the wolf part of himself to take over and it would usually show in his eyes. Hermione wondered what emotion he'd felt at the sight of her but she decided to ask him about it later.

"Hermione…" His voice was ragged and husky and Hermione's brow furrowed in concern. "You look so beautiful."

Hermione blushed more than she ever had in her life and nervously tugged at the skirt of her dress. "It's not really my color." She sighed but Remus grabbed her hand and began tugging her toward a different exit than the one Sirius and James had taken.

"Come with me."

"I-oh-okay." Hermione stuttered as a very strong werewolf pulled her from the party and dragged her to some unknown location.

Finally, after taking her down several different hallways and corridors he pulled her into a hidden cove behind a tapestry. He didn't let go of her hand until she was between the wall and his tall frame.

"What are we-"

"I had to get away from the stuffy party." Remus sighed and his head dropped against the wall over her shoulder beside her head. He was breathing deeply into her ear and his chest would lightly touch hers with each breath.

Hermione was hyperaware of their closeness. He was obscuring her view of everything but it felt so _right_ to be here. She knew that she'd been feeling strange around Remus lately, but she hadn't realized why until this moment. She wanted him. Maybe not more than her desire to go home, to see her friends and family again, but something about this boy made her want to reach out and feel his warmth and strength. She wanted him close to her, closer than he was now, emotionally and physically. But there were so many reasons not to that it was only with trepidation that she reached up and laid her hand on Remus' shoulder. He stiffened under her touch and she figured he must have realized how close they were because he stood up straight.

But no matter how hard she tried, Hermione couldn't move her hand away from his shoulder.

She watched her fingers as they grew a mind of their own and slid up Remus' neck. He relaxed under her touch but was looking at her with a question mark written all over his face.

"Hermione?" His voice was still ragged and Hermione wondered if it was from the running or something else but she ignored the questions as she explored the length of his neck with her hand. He shuddered under her touch and she could feel herself trembling in response.

These feelings were so new and yet familiar. This moment just felt right and she knew it was because of Remus. He always made everything better. Always.

She traced the line of his jaw with her index finger until she came to his chin. Now she couldn't stop staring at his lips, they were almost calling to her.

Hermione slowly slid her finger up and before she could touch them, Remus grabbed her hand. He moved it to the back of his neck and stepped even closer to her.

Remus leaned over her, blocking everything else out and forcing Hermione to stare up at his wonderful blue eyes.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this." His voice was husky and once again Hermione could smell the forest that seemed to cling to him, she was drawn closer and closer until she hit his chest. His face was closing in on hers and at the last moment Hermione closed her eyes.

It was exactly like how Hermione imagined it would be, gentle and soft and caring and full of emotion, just like Remus. His lips touched hers and she couldn't think as they increased the pressure gently before pulling away.

It was so tender and gentle and she could feel his breath, hot and ragged against her cool skin. But then it ended too quickly.

She was frozen in place and left begging for more and stunned by the sheer power and feeling that had touched her. Her eyes snapped open and she could see Remus expression. Everything was soft and blurred and she could see the tenderness and concern in his eyes that had flecks of gold in them. This close she could how light reflected off the gold and brought life to the sea of blue. Power was coursing through her veins and making her dizzy with surprise. She'd never felt this way before, never felt so much emotion from such a simple kiss. Of course she didn't have a lot of practice, her kisses with Krum passionate and feverish but clumsy. And her kiss with James seemed insignificant, almost childlike and foolish.

So this is what it was supposed to feel like, like she was soaring through a sea of clear, pure, blue sky and dizzy with power. It made sense that she would learn something so vital and life changing from a professor. But he wasn't really her professor was he? Not yet anyway.

They had barely touched and she wondered what would happen if they deepened it. Would her head explode from the pleasure and intense amazingness that was Remus' touch?

"Remus?"

The blue vanished, replaced by a brilliant gold that blinded her and his breath became ragged and stole the air from her own lungs. His grip tightened and Hermione tried not to flinch. His eyes were filled with fire and held none of their usual softness and kindness and they were beautiful but it also meant… He snatched her jaw in his hands and all her thought processes ceased.

Before she could realize what was about to happen, Remus was closing the gap between them. His mouth slammed against hers and her back was almost snapped in half from the force he was exerting. She wrapped her arms around his neck to stop herself from falling and drew his passionate kisses closer. Pleasure and pain were traveling in waves up and down her entire body and originating everywhere they touched. He moved his mouth over hers roughly. Hermione could feel her knees giving out and her head swam. She moaned into his soft lips which allowed his tongue to enter her lips and explore her mouth. His tongue scrapped over her teeth as his hands moved away from her face. His calloused fingers slid down her neck and she shivered as they scrapped the sensitive skin. Then they were down on her hips, digging into skin and leaving bruises but she didn't really think of this. Never before had a boy kissed her with such passion, she could feel waves of desire rolling off of him and scorching her. It was frightening but also amazing and one of the best kisses she'd experienced.

But she needed more, she leaned into his touch, every part of their bodies was melded together but it wasn't enough. There was a fire burning in her chest and his touch was soothing it, filling her with a feeling of completeness. She ached for her soul to become one with his, but she was losing her breath so she pulled away from him slightly.

Their breathing was ragged and Hermione felt a distinct feeling of loss as their lips separated. His eyes were hooded and they searched her face for permission. "Remus." She whispered.

O

O

O

Sirius once again entered Slughorn's party and dragged a protesting James behind him. "Where is the slimy git?" Sirius growled as he scanned the room for the familiar dark hair and large nosed bat.

"Please Sirius. Just forget it." James sighed and tugged away from Sirius. But the stubborn youth only tightened his grasp and pulled James harder.

Suddenly a flash of red caught his attention and Sirius spotted Lily. She really was quite lovely and he could see James' fascination. If James hadn't already staked a claim he might have gone after her himself. Sirius got a better hold on his friend and dragged him to Lily.

"Hey Red!" Sirius called out to the redhead and she turned away from Marlene and-

_There you are._ Sirius grinned wolfishly at the boy standing next to Lily.

"Hey." James said behind him and Sirius smirked when Lily smiled back at them. It might have been a first.

"There you are James. Marlene has been looking for you." Lily pointed to the brunette beside her and Sirius gave her an appreciative smile.

"Sorry." James muttered and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He really needed to work on his conversation skills.

"I've actually been looking for Snape." Sirius turned his grey eyed gaze on the surprised teen and grinned wider. "Snape!" He said as if he had only just noticed him and slung an arm around his shoulders. "Come with me!"

Snape snarled as he pushed Sirius away from him and glared at the bane of his existence. "What do you want Black?" He snapped and was annoyed when Sirius only grinned wider. Despite himself, he was curious what Sirius had to say to him, so he followed as the boy walked away from Lily, Marlene and Potter.

"I feel like we've gotten off to a rocky start."

"Rocky?" Snape hissed. He'd had enough. He made a move to turn away and leave the infuriating Sirius Black but the boy grabbed his arm rather tightly.

"Listen." The handsome boy said dangerously. Snape had the desire to laugh in this presumptuous boy's face. He was twice the wizard Black would ever hope to be and yet he was trying to intimidate him, the fool. "I'd like to come to a truce." Sirius held up his hand as if to shake Snape's hand but Snape was too stunned to move.

"What makes you think I would ever care to come to a truce with _you_?" Snape said furiously. His anger was building with each word that Black said and it grew ten-fold when he once again laid his hand on Snape's shoulder.

"We could be friends I think." Sirius said and nodded as if he actually believed it. "You want to make friends don't you?"

Snape sneered. "Slytherins don't need friends."

"Oh. Don't they?" Sirius smirked and Snape's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What would our dear friend Lily say about that? I think she is a mutual friend of ours, you remember her don't you?"

At the mention of Lily, Snape almost lost his self control. He'd never felt this kind of anger before, it was making his blood boil and pound in his head. His vision was turning red and he had the desire to strike Black furiously, he'd hit the git with magic before of course, but to actually strike him physically and feel the act of causing him injury was more than Snape could stand. But he took a deep breath and stepped away from him.

"Stay away from me you imbecile." Snape managed to growl out. He stormed away and could feel the emotions leave him. Emotions only seemed to cause him trouble.

"You're not curious at all?"

Snape froze and glanced over his shoulder. "Curious about what exactly?" He sneered at the idea that he would ever care about what Potter and his band of hooligans were up too. Unless he was talking about Remus…Snape was sure that something was wrong with that boy. Gone every month and looking sicker and paler every day Snape had known him. Was that what Sirius was talking about?

"We should really sit down and talk about it Snape." Sirius grinned as Snape turned slowly and they glared at each other furiously.

"What's wrong with your friend?" Snape asked. He hoped Black would answer and he could finally set down the mystery that had plagued him for years in peace, but it wasn't meant to be.

"Now that'd be too easy for you Snape. Ask the right question."

"Where does he go every month?" Snape was slightly disturbed by the grin that split Black's face.

"There you go Snivellus." Black said as condescendingly as possible.

Snape's hands clenched into fists at the sound of that name and the desire to strike Black again hit him in full force. But he wouldn't do it. "How do you get away with _everything_?" Snape sneered at the Black like he was a speck of dirt.

It was something that bothered him about Black and Potter more than anything. They came from good homes, were intelligent and popular, and yet they insisted on finding ways to act out. Black had come from a good family and he had runaway. What Snape would give to escape from his own family. To finally be rid of his abusive father and for his mother to pick up that wand hidden in the closet to hex Tobias Snape into oblivion. But no, she wouldn't, not even when he turned his violence on her own son. Snape's breath became ragged in anger. He hated them. He hated them all.

Except Lily. Lily understood his pain and she had always extended a hand of friendship, even when he didn't deserve it.

"The willow." Sirius said, pulling Snape away from his angry, inner tirade.

"The Whomping Willow?" Snape asked in confusion. "What about it?"

"Just push the knot on the north side of its trunk and you'll see Snivellus." Sirius laughed as he turned away and left Snape feeling more and more angry.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Let me just remind you that I do not own Harry Potter or anything that you recognize in this story, the wonderful, fantastic, magnificent, marvelous, amazing, brilliant, beautiful blonde called J.K. Rowling does….love her :) And if you did not know this you need to get out from under that rock you're living under.**

**Chapter 16**

Snape glared at the willow which was thrashing around so much he was worried a branch would fling off and stab him. He nervously glared at the trunk. It stood solidly under the wildly moving branches and he hated Sirius.

How on Earth was _anyone_ supposed to touch any knot on this stupid tree? Furious that Black was such an arse and he'd actually wasted his time in listening to him Snape picked up a stick and thrust his arm back to toss it at the tree.

He froze and lowered his arm. Snape stared at the stick for a few moments before setting it on the lawn and taking out his wand. "_Wingardrium Leviosa_." Snape said the charm and watched the stick rise in the air and slowly move towards the trunk. It hit its mark and to Snape's utter amazement the tree froze.

So this is where they would go. Snape clamored toward the trunk cautiously, in case the tree started moving again and he circled its base. At last he came to a small hole at the base of the trunk and he could see that it was narrow but traversable. Snape smirked as he slowly backed away from the tree and made his way back to the castle.

_Come the next full moon, I'll finally have proof that Potter and his friends are nothing but a bunch of liars and criminals._

O

O

O

Hermione walked across the freshly fallen snow toward Greenhouse 3. After the Slug Club Ball, the first snow had finally graced the castle and the weather had taken a turn for the worst. But now it was sunny and Hermione could hardly believe how happy she was.

Kissing Remus had turned out to be the best thing that had happened to her since coming here.

Of course they couldn't tell anyone. Remus thought that Sirius would react poorly considering how she'd rejected him only last week because she would be leaving soon, but it didn't really matter. Hermione was just happy that he felt the same way.

She ducked through the door and was pleased to find Remus washing his hands. She didn't even get a chance to call out before he'd turned around and was smiling in such a way that it filled her chest with warmth. "Hermione." He sighed and Hermione blushed.

"Hey."

"Hey." He copied and after drying his hands he held his arms out. "Well get over here!"

She laughed and ran to him. He wore an apron that was covered in dirt but she could care less as she buried her nose in his chest and hugged him as tightly as she could. She was happy her face was hidden when he kissed the top of her head and a blush crept over her entire face. It was moments like these that made Hermione feel like she might not be doing such a bad thing. She had decided to ignore the fact that this wouldn't last forever the first time they'd kissed and the second and third and fourth and so on until now.

Hermione swallowed and she could feel Remus' grip tighten. "Are you okay?"

Reluctantly, Hermione looked up and sighed. "No. Everything's fine."

He reached down and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. For a split second she felt their souls melding as one, but then he pulled away and gave her a slow smile.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that."

She laughed and reached her hands up behind his neck. She loved the way he sighed as her hands trailed over his skin. "You've gotten much better." She teased and laughed again when he quirked an eyebrow at her. "Oh alright, you're amazing."

He chuckled as he released her and grabbed her hand. "So are you ready to help me?"

"What is it we're doing exactly? You didn't really give me much of an explanation." His hand felt warm around hers.

"Professor Sprout has enlisted my help in harvesting dittany."

"What? She has dittany? Let me see it?" Hermione was so excited she started to turn in circles to get a view of the whole room, to Remus' amusement.

"So I'm guessing you've seen it before?"

"Seen it? Of course not they're incredibly rare!" Hermione tugged on his sleeve. "Stop teasing me and just show me the plant."

Remus shook his head at Hermione's desire to learn and pulled her toward a rack filled with gloves, aprons, earmuffs and cans of flesh-eating slug repellent. "You'll need this." He pulled down a pair of gloves and an apron. When she reached for them he shook his head. He reached around her and pulled the apron on himself, his hands lingered around her neck before he spun her and tied the apron strings.

"I can do it myself." She grumbled halfheartedly. She tried to turn around and face him but he grabbed her hips.

"I know." He said in her ear and she felt a shiver run up her spine. "But this is more fun." Remus chuckled at her blush and let her put the gloves on herself.

When he let her go, Remus moved across the room to a wooden table that stood in a corner of the long room. Hermione followed right behind him.

A small ceramic pot sat in the center of the desk with nothing around it. The plant wasn't moving or emitting loud sounds or particularly threatening-looking but Remus was approaching it with great caution.

"It's so small." Hermione said. "I didn't expect it to be so tiny."

Remus smirked as he looked down at Hermione, whose curly head barely came to the middle of his forearm. He didn't remark on her own lack of height. "We should probably leave our wands at a different table."

Hermione followed his lead as they set their wands aside and Hermione frowned at the plant. It was short, maybe a hand's breadth in height. Its blossoms were golden in color and were clustered together tightly into beehive shapes.

"So how are we supposed to harvest it without it bursting into flames?" Hermione had never seen dittany, but that didn't mean she hadn't read every book on it. It was known as the Burning Bush because of the flammable vapors it was capable of releasing. But its healing properties were very useful in various potions such as Essence of Dittany and Wiggenweld Potion.

"It might not release any vapors." Remus reminded and Hermione shrugged.

"It will if it thinks we're going to pull it out by its roots."

Remus chuckled and held up his hand. His waggled his fingers in the thick gloves. "Good thing we have these." He beckoned for Hermione to follow his lead as he approached the plant. "Now stroke its leaves."

"What?" Hermione squeaked.

"You're going to sooth it while I remove some of the buds. Then maybe it won't catch on fire."

"_Maybe_?" But she reached forward and with a single finger, stroked the velvety smooth leaf of the temperamental plant.

"That's it." Remus whispered and, quicker than Hermione could see, he plucked three of the flowers before she could blink.

Hermione withdrew her hand and they both stepped away hastily. The plant didn't move.

"Well that was anticlimactic." Remus laughed and held up the beehive shaped buds of the plant. Hermione stared at them curiously before he closed his fingers around them gently. He shuffled to a different table and began shredding the petals and putting them in separate vials.

"So how come you're the one doing this Remus?" Hermione asked as she stoppered the vials with fresh Dittany in them.

Remus finished the last vial before answering. "Well Alice likes to help me sometimes so it's all not by myself but I do it because I'm the one using up all of Madam Pomfrey's stores of Essence of Dittany." Hermione noticed his face darken for a moment before he shook it off and gave her a small smile. "I guess I just feel guilty about it. So I help out."

Hermione wanted to sooth Remus somehow. Clearly he was thinking about how he would sometimes injure himself on full moons and he'd have to use the Dittany. None of which was his fault. This curse just seemed to plague every aspect of his life. Hermione nervously closed the space between them and touched his arm soothingly.

"I understand."

Remus could feel his body relaxing of its own accord at Hermione's touch. She must have sensed that he was feeling horrible. Normally he wouldn't have liked to be comforted like this. He knew he couldn't handle his 'furry little problem' on his own, but he liked to imagine sometimes that he was strong enough to. But any reason for Hermione to touch him was okay.

He still couldn't believe what had happened between them. He, like Hermione, wanted to ignore the fact that she couldn't stay with him and one day she would leave, but in this moment, he was very very happy.

"It can be hard trying to prove yourself all the time." Hermione continued and Remus looked at her in surprise. He couldn't believe that that was what she had gotten out of what he'd said. But she was right. "I've felt the same way since first year. I was so worried because my parents weren't magical that I would be so behind and would have to work twice as hard as the other kids-"

"Hermione-"

"I know it's silly. But I was only eleven… I worked so hard that I pushed a lot of people away but Harry and Ron got through." Hermione blushed. What was making her confess her feelings like this? "I don't know what I'd do without them."

Remus laughed. "We are one and the same Hermione." Remus stared down at her in admiration. "I thought that _I _needed to work twice as hard as everyone else because they would hate me if they knew what I really was. My first three years were a flurry of studying and late nights until my friends finally found out. They accepted me." Remus sighed. "I don't know if I could have gone all seven years without anyone not knowing I'm a werewolf." Remus shuddered.

They stared at each other for a few moments before the Greenhouse door suddenly opened and their gazes dropped in embarrassment. Hermione thrust her hand to her side and tried to hide her red face as Professor Sprout entered and greeted them sweetly.

"Hello dears. Oh good you've finished!" She came to inspect their work and praised them on a job well done. "You can go on to dinner. I'll just get these to Horace and Poppy." She gathered up the vials and bustled to the door. "I haven't got all night dears. I have to lock the door behind you."

"Sorry Professor!" Remus and Hermione said in unison as they dashed to the door, they had to turn back around when they realized they'd left their wands and so they were late to dinner.

O

O

O

"Oi. What's wrong with your face?"

"There is nothing wrong with my face."

"No. You're all smiling. It's creepy. Stop it."

"What the hell Padfoot? There's nothing wrong with my face!"

"Okay good. Now you've stopped."

James glanced up from his dinner to frown at Remus and Sirius who were bickering. "What's the matter Moony?"

Remus growled and pointed an accusing finger at Sirius. "This idiot thinks something's wrong with my face!"

"I didn't say that! I said your smile was creeping me out. You won't stop. It's weird." Sirius was studying Remus face with a furrowed brow. "Why are you smiling so much?"

It took all of Remus' willpower to not look over at Hermione who was sitting with Lily, Alice and Frank on the other side of the Gryffindor's table. "I did well on a test."

"But the full moon is this week. Aren't you usually all brooding and a git for a couple days beforehand?" Sirius half whispered. James looked around to make sure no one was listening before agreeing with Sirius.

"Yeah. What's up? It can't just be a test."

Suddenly a smirk landed on Sirius' face and he almost broke the bench he was jumping up and down so much with excitement. He pointed a finger at Remus who tried to smack it away. "Moony you sly dog you! I know why you're acting so strange!"

"What? No you don't. And I'm not acting strange so stop saying that!" Remus defended but this only seemed to make Sirius happier.

Sirius punched Remus' arm. "What did you and Doriana do after the Slug Club Ball eh?"

Remus flushed in embarrassment as James sat up straighter and looked at Moony with a new found respect.

"Oi! Look at him blush!" Peter shouted and they burst into hearty guffaws at Remus' expense.

"Shut it you lot." Remus snorted as he tried to calm down and ignored their laughter.

"Alright, don't tell your best friends." James pouted. Remus laughed and flicked mashed potatoes at him with his spoon. The glob of food landed in his hair and James frantically shook it out. "Nice Moony. _Real _mature."

Remus and Peter chuckled until Sirius sent another glob of unidentified meal flying at Remus' head. At the last moment Remus turned away but it still landed across his left cheek and in his eye.

"What on earth are you doing?"

The four boys jumped as the familiar yell of Professor McGonagall stopped their games short. "Stop acting like children, honestly, throwing food? At the Gryffindor table? Do I have to give you detention?" McGonagall became harsher by the moment and the boys hung their heads in false regret.

"We're sorry Professor." Sirius said sweetly.

Remus elbowed Peter who was on the verge of bursting into hysterics and was hiccupping into his glass of pumpkin juice.

"Yes well, if I ever see such childish behavior from you sixth years again, don't think I won't put you in detention!" Then she was gone and the boys counted to ten before bursting into more laughter.

O

O

O

"Sooo?" Alice stressed the 'o' out and Hermione pretended to not know what she was talking about.

"So what?"

"What do you mean 'so what'? I want to hear all about your date with Sirius!"

"We danced and talked and then it was over. End of story."

Lily rolled her eyes and pointed a fork, rather rudely, at Hermione. "Don't forget you skipped out at least an hour early. Where were you anyway? Sirius wouldn't stop bugging Sev and I."

"I've been meaning to ask you about that too." Alice turned her accusatory look from Hermione (to her immense relief) to Lily. "I thought you said you didn't have a date."

Frank was looking very much like he wanted to skip out at this point. "Listen, Alice…I'll see you later okay?" Alice waved a dismissive hand at him and never took her eyes off Lily. Frank ran out before he got dragged into another round of girl talk.

"Well? I'm waiting."

Lily sighed. "It was just as friends." Hermione studied Lily for a moment to see if she was telling the truth. Lily shrugged and her face remained clear of a blush so Hermione assumed she was. "He was acting all weird and kept saying he had to ask me a question all last week. When he finally got around to asking me to go with him, I was going to say yes. But before I could say anything he said, 'Just as friends of course.'" Lily dropped her fork and threw her hands in the air. "He's so confusing sometimes."

"Are you…disappointed he didn't ask you?" Hermione barely said above a whisper. Doubt creeped into her stomach and despite herself she glanced down the table to see James. The idiot had mashed potatoes in his hair. Hermione blocked Lily's view so she wouldn't see James acting like a complete moron.

_When I get my hands on those-_

But Lily wasn't even interested in James at the moment. "No I don't think so. But it would've been nice to be asked by someone._ Not_ James." She added when she saw the look on Hermione's face.

"What's wrong with James?"

"Well…he doesn't really count, he_ always_ asks me." Lily rolled her eyes and Hermione couldn't help the confused expression that crossed her face. "I have to say no to him…on principle."

"Why? It takes courage for a guy to ask you to something. Why can't you say yes?" Hermione shrugged and once again, Lily felt confused by Hermione's answer.

"But he expects me to say no."

"That would make it even harder to ask you."

Lily blushed and tried to look down the table at James but Hermione was blocking her view. "Maybe next time you should say yes?"

Lily contemplated that for a moment before nodding. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

O

O

O

A few days later Hermione was skimming a book on memory modification in the library during her lunch break. She should've been down in the Great Hall eating before her next class but she was too wound up. She'd had horrible dreams about her parents all night and she was eager to find some way of restoring her botched job at saving them.

"Granger."

Hermione almost dropped the book she was so startled. She spun to see who had called her name and was surprised to see Regulus standing behind her. He had the Horcrux book in his hand. Hermione glanced at it before meeting his gaze.

"I can't read any more of this." He held it out to her. "But I see the point you're trying to make and I'll take it into consideration."

Hermione sighed but took the volume from him. "Thanks for bringing it back."

Regulus turned to walk away and made it half way down the aisle before stopping. He looked back over his shoulder at her and he spoke so quietly Hermione almost missed his question. "How did you know that I wouldn't use that book to make my own Horcrux Granger?"

Hermione stared at him for a few moments before she decided what to say. "Something just told me that deep down you know what is right and what is wrong."

Regulus didn't respond to this or even acknowledge what she'd said. Instead he stormed out of the library and Hermione glared down at the book he'd left with her.

She'd just barely put it back into her bag when another figure came around the corner and called her name again.

"Hermione!"

"Hey Remus."

"Where have you been? You missed lunch." While they had been speaking, Remus had walked down the aisle until he stood almost right in front of her.

"Sorry you had to come looking for me." She muttered as she shelved the memory book and gave Remus her full attention.

"It's alright." He glanced at the shelf behind her and saw the topics of books. "Whose memory are you trying to modify?"

"Well I already modified my parent's."

Remus raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on her downtrodden expression. Even with her eyes looking so sad and her hair in a messy ponytail, she was as beautiful as the night he'd first gotten to kiss her. It felt like a dream come true really. Remus felt the desire to brush some of that hair out of her face and when the realization came that it would be received positively from her, Remus eager reached out to run the back of his hand across her cheek. It felt warm and when he removed his hand he saw she was blushing.

Hermione was watching Remus' eyes change from blue to gold and back to blue in very quick succession. He was obviously struggling with some emotion but she was too distracted by his hand touching her face to ask what was wrong.

Remus was smiling down at her wickedly. "What? What is it?" She asked as his smile became bigger.

"Haven't you always wanted to snog in a library?" He beamed down at her as her eyebrows disappeared into her hair and her mouth dropped open.

"What! No!" But she blushed so brightly that Remus knew she was lying. Before she could protest he raised her chin with his fingers and lightly brushed his lips over hers. Already he could feel her melting into him. He could feel her heart speeding up beneath his hand and her eyes were fluttering closed so he also closed his eyes.

He felt her hands running up his back and she was sighing into his gentle kiss. So he deepened it. He accidentally pushed her so far into the bookshelf that it began to teeter and he had to reach over her head and grab the shelf before it toppled on them.

He didn't stop kissing her even as she started pushing against his chest.

"Remus." Her voice was so soft and it always unhinged him when she said his name but she turned her head away. "Remus someone might see."

He moved down to kiss her neck before pulling away. She was right of course. "Sorry." He sighed.

Hermione blushed. "Don't apologize!"

O

O

O

"Remus?"

Remus blinked several times before he could truly_ see_ what was going on. Above him were three faces, they were still sort of blurry so he couldn't make them out but that wasn't what was bothering him.

He groaned and reached for his arm. It felt similar to when he'd been young and had growing pains, but his was much worse and it was a pain he usually associated with the Change. He rubbed his arm for relief but the pain was everywhere and so he couldn't ignore it for much longer.

"Remus can you answer me?"

Remus turned slightly to see the person speaking and could now make out that it was Professor McGonagall in front of him. Her normal strict demeanor was cracking and she was looking down at him in concern. Now that he looked around he could see that he was in the hospital wing and the other two witches in front of him were Doriana and Madam Pomfrey.

"What happened?" Remus groaned and a wave of nausea over-powered him.

"You fainted while we were patrolling. Don't you remember?" Doriana asked from his left and Remus tried to shut out her high pitched voice. It hurt his ears to listen to it.

Remus groaned and turned over so his back was to the girl. "I'm going to be sick."

"I think it's time for you to go Ms. Trout."

Remus was relieved when she left without protest and there was silence once again.

"Now how are you feeling Remus?" Madam Pomfrey gently prodded him into a sitting position so he could drink a glass of cool water she shoved into his hands.

"Everything…is so bright." It was true, the colors in Professor McGonagall's robes were hurting his eyes. But he could also catch every pitch and variation in their voices, and they smelled like they had just come from dinner. "My senses…they hurt."

He didn't see McGonagall raise an eyebrow at this but Madam Pomfrey asked her to respectfully leave as well so she could take care of her patient.

"I think you're just stressed. Your senses are….well…sensitive at the moment and their overworked. You need bed rest."

Remus didn't protest as he turned on his side. That water she'd given him must have some kind of potion because he was very….

O

O

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Remus woke to find Hermione by his side.

The lights were still bright, but not unbearably so. He could tell because the insides of his eyes were still dark rather than red. He could feel her fingers as they brushed hair from his forehead and they were cool to the touch, it was soothing to his burning fever.

He smiled and was disappointed when she withdrew her hand.

"You're awake." She barely whispered.

Remus opened his eyes to get a better look at her but a wave of strawberries attacked his nose and he felt instantly awake. "You smell like strawberries." He muttered, almost incoherently but was rewarded with a smile.

"Do you like strawberries?"

"They're my favorite." He sighed.

"Mine too." Hermione shuffled around and he had to close his eyes again. He was so tired. But Remus noticed one of Hermione's curls was half in her face and reached out to move it. Rather than withdrawing his hand again he fingered the long strand of hair and appreciated the flush of Hermione's cheeks. He closed his eyes in contentment and released her hair. "I brought you something." Remus forced his eyes open and was glad he did when she handed him a bar of chocolate.

"Yes! The food they bring me is crap."

"You know that's a pack of lies." Sirius laughed as he brushed aside the curtain surrounding the bed. James and Peter were right behind him.

"Remus! I heard you fainted!" Peter laughed as he sat by Remus' feet.

Remus rolled his eyes at Hermione. "Thanks for the support guys."

"Anytime." James laughed.

Remus glanced around at his friends and warmth filled his chest. These were the most important people to him.

"I love you guys." He muttered. He missed Hermione's blush as he drifted off to sleep.

James, Sirius and Peter burst into laughter. "What's Madam Pomfrey giving him?" Sirius snorted.

O

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Remus bent over and clutched his stomach. The Change was burning in his bones and he felt lightheaded.

"Are you alright?" Madam Pomfrey gently touched his back and her cool touch calmed him.

No matter how many times she'd seen his wolf-side, no matter how dangerous any other person might have viewed him, Madam Pomfrey had always been kind and ever patient with him. He would be in her debt for eternity for her understanding and support these last six years.

He stood up as straight as he could and nodded. The witch clutched his arm and pulled him across the grounds. "We're almost there." She half whispered. Remus could see the Whomping Willow in the distance and the long shadows that the sinking sun created. The sky was a bright orange with shades of purple and pink mixed in. Soon the moon would rise and Remus would relive his monthly nightmares.

Remus' shoes crunched through the thin layer of snow as he made his way to his prison.

The chilly air reminded him of the many hours he had spent with Hermione hidden in cold castle hallways until he had become sick three days ago.

No matter how many times he replayed the scene in his head Remus felt as if the last week had been a dream. The ghost of Hermione's fingers caressing his neck and her sweet lips brushing against his had his face burning a bright red and his hands shaking.

Madam Pomfrey felt him quaking and she patted his hand. "It's alright dear. I know this week has been hard but it'll be over soon."

Remus smiled behind his hand as the kind witch sent a stick flying at the Willow's trunk and gabbed the knot. She led him to the entrance of the well hidden hole and together they entered the familiar passageway. She lit her wand tip as the light disappeared and they made their way to the Shrieking Shack.

They entered the quiet building and she began arranging the reinforcements on the house and foregoing the silencing charms. Remus helped by kicking broken bits of furniture out of her way and reminding her of spells she might have forgotten.

"That should do it." She nodded and turned to face Remus. "Goodbye dear." She patted his hand again before leaving out the way they'd come in. She put a charm on the door so he couldn't move it and only someone with a wand could come in and get him in the morning.

"Goodbye Madam Pomfrey." He said the usual pleasantries without a second thought and began preparing himself for the Change. He could feel the wolf within him stirring and already jumping to come out. To calm himself he pulled a bar of chocolate from his pants pocket and nibbled on it while he waited.

This was one of the worst parts, the waiting. Madam Pomfrey, Headmaster Dumbledore and himself had agreed that he needed to leave at least an hour before the moon was scheduled to make an appearance and although he knew it was for safety's sake the boredom was almost unbearable.

O

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Sirius hid under the Invisibility Cloak and cursed Snape from dusk til dawn.

_If that little toad isn't out here in the next five seconds I'm going to-_

But his thoughts were cut off as a dark figure ducked out of the front entrance and glanced around the grounds before running toward him.

_I knew you wouldn't disappoint me Snivellus._

Sirius sniggered as the greasy-haired boy dashed past him without a sideways glance.

_Have fun with the big bad wolf. _Sirius snorted internally. _As if Moony would hurt a fly._

Sirius made sure the figure reached the willow and had picked a good stick before he began heading to the castle's entrance. Before he actually entered, Sirius removed the cloak and shoved it into his robe pocket.

The doors creaked as he silently ducked inside the warm castle. The moment he turned to the main staircase he was overjoyed to see James, Lily and Hermione leaving the Great Hall. It was lucky he'd caught James; he wanted to brag about the success of his prank as soon as possible.

"Oi! Prongs! Red! Love!" Sirius yelled as loud as he could across the large hall and was even more amused when they actually looked up at their silly nicknames. Could this day get any better?

The crowd parted for him and he reached his friends without a hitch.

"How was dinner?" He asked when he was able to catch his breath.

"Alright." James shrugged. "Where have you been?"

O

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James looked at his best friend in horror. "What are you saying Sirius?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and handed James the Invisibility Cloak. "Like I said, Snivellus is about to get a nasty shock at the end of that tunnel and he'll think twice about bothering you or any of us Marauders again." Sirius smirked at the idea and rolled his shoulders. "He's just gone down the hole so it'll be only a matter of time before he comes running in here screaming like a baby." Sirius chuckled.

Hermione felt sick. "But Sirius…what if he doesn't make it out of that tunnel?" Hermione could feel the tears burning behind her eyes. How could she have forgotten about this? Sirius' prank was very damaging to the future and Hermione could only watch now that the events had been put in motion. She glanced at James' face and was relieved slightly to see the horror of the situation reflected in them.

"It's the full moon." Hermione was shocked to hear Lily murmur. "Do you mean to say Sev has gone after a werewolf?"

"How do you-" James was staring at Lily with wide eyes and she cut him off.

"I've known since second year."

"Second!" Sirius gasped. "We've only known since third and we're his best friends!"

"That's not important." Hermione interrupted and glared at Sirius. "Someone has to go after Snape." She stared at James pointedly and he raised his eyebrows at her but nodded. "Let's go." They moved toward the front doors and ducked out before anyone could notice.

Sirius followed at a slower pace and rolled his eyes. "Snape will run the moment he catches sight of Moony. You guys are being dramatic."

Hermione wanted to turn and yell furiously at his idiocy but swallowed back her anger for the moment.

"I'll be right back." James said bravely and glanced at Lily's scared expression. James changed right before their eyes into a stag and dashed for the willow. He was as beautiful as Harry's Patronus. He had large antlers and a sleek muscular body. He made it across the grounds in no time at all.

"He'll need someone to stop the tree." Peter said and followed behind the magnificent stag and transformed into a rat.

"They're Animagus!" Lily gasped.

"Do you realize what you've done Sirius?" Hermione asked. She looked at the handsome boy in concern.

Sirius had the decency to look sheepish. "I didn't think he'd actually have it in him to go down the tunnel, to be honest."

"You're an idiot! Why did you have to do it huh?" Hermione snapped. This was the last straw. "Why don't you ever _think_?" Hermione cried as she shoved Sirius. Her hands hit his chest and he staggered away from her in shock.

"Hermione I-"

"Snape could try to get you, James and Remus expelled! That's why he listened to you! Now Remus could seriously hurt or even kill him? Is that what you want to happen? How do you think Remus would feel if he hurt Snape?" Sirius looked completely stunned as Hermione advanced on him. Her hair was flying around her face; she'd taken her wand out and was pointing it at his chest. She looked quite scary.

There was a sob behind her and Hermione stopped yelling at Sirius and turned to see Lily sobbing into her hands.

"I didn't mean it Lily. I'm sure James will find him." Hermione stuffed her wand away before going to comfort Lily. As Hermione hugged her, Hermione glared at Sirius over her shoulder.

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the ground, contemplating what Hermione had said. He honestly hadn't thought of those things, he'd just thought that Snape would get scared witless and stop bothering them and Lily. Now that he was thinking clearly he could see that not only had he put Snape in grave danger but Remus as well.

And despite what any might think, he did feel sorry about that. Sirius went to open his mouth to apologize to Hermione, and Lily too, but her glare froze him and Sirius looked in the direction of the Whomping Willow.

_I guess I really am an idiot_.

No one saw Peter appear until he changed back into a human. He explained that James had gotten past the Willow successfully and was after Snape. The four of them all sat in a frightened silence.

O

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Snape could feel the dirt crunching beneath his feet and his wand light danced on the walls. He could hear screaming and animalistic yelps coming from ahead of him and he was scared witless.

_I should go back._

This was the one thought pounding in his head and yet he couldn't bring himself to turn back. After all those years of the Marauders tormenting him, maybe this would be worth it. Maybe they would finally leave the school. Just so long as someone knew what was beyond that final curve of the tunnel.

Snape stopped and held his breath as a particularly loud scream filled his ears.

_Imagine Potter gone_.

This actually made him take a few more steps forward until he was picturing Sirius, Remus and Pettigrew gone as well.

_Lily will finally believe me._

At last he reached the end of the tunnel but all he could see was a trapdoor-like piece of wood covering the exit. He could hear clawing and screaming from the other side and despite his terror, Snape had to see for himself. He raised his wand to move it when he heard something behind him. It sounded like the cantering of a horse but when he turned Snape could see nothing. He took his wand and stretched it out far in front of him and controlled the gasp that tried to escape him when James Potter came into view.

"Run Snape!" Potter yelled and ran toward him.

But he had come this far and there was no way Snape would let this opportunity go. After all the horrible things they'd done to him Snape could feel retribution on the horizon. If he could just get past this barrier the scrutiny and bullying would end. Snape ignored Potter's warning and blasted the door from its hinges.

And met the eyes of a wolf so large and grotesque Snape thought he was going to be sick. It had large yellow eyes that stared at him hungrily and its breath was coming in short gasps. Drool dripped from its chin and Snape could only swallow and slowly back away. _Now_ he was scared witless.

Suddenly, a figure leapt past him and stood between the beast and himself. They obscured the wolf's view of him and Snape was able to come to his senses. The person turned and looked over his shoulder and met Snape's eyes. "I said run."

Potter was saving him.

Without another word or thought, Snape turned tail and ran as fast as he could down the narrow tunnel.

_Potter saved me. Potter saved me. Potter._

Snape scrambled through the holes exit and was immediately whipped by one of the Willow's branches. It swept across his chest and knocked the air from his lungs. He gasped in pain but the moment it moved to hit him again he made a mad dash for safety and escaped with only a bruised rib and a scratch on his cheek. He didn't stop running until he came to the castle's front stairs and he fell on them gratefully.

_Potter saved me._

Snape's breath was ragged and harsh as he leaned against the stairs and looked around him. There were people around him and before he could get a proper look a flash of red blurred his vision and he was being hugged by Lily. She was sobbing into his shoulder and he couldn't comfort her he was in such a state of shock.

"You're alive!" She cried over and over again. Snape could see Hermione walking cautiously to Lily and patting her shoulder uncertainly.

Suddenly Lily pushed him away and was glaring at him with her beautiful green eyes. How those eyes haunted his every waking and dreaming hour and now they were glaring at him. His chest ached.

"How could you?" She shrieked and the group fell silent. "I told you not to worry about them! I told you not to worry about Remus! You've ruined _everything_." The tears had dried and now Lily was screaming passionately for the whole grounds to hear.

"Lily, please." Hermione hissed and grabbed Lily's shoulder but she wasn't listening.

"Why'd you do it huh? Did you think that it would make up for everything they'd done to you? Well guess what! You're no better than them now! You're lucky James went to save your sorry arse!"

Snape tried to open his mouth to explain but was shut up but Lily pushing him away from her and she slowly backed away. He could barely hear her she was talking so quietly now. "I really did think that we could be friends Sev. But this…" She trailed off and Snape could feel his heart pounding in his ears and more than anything he wanted to stop the words he knew she'd say next. But he could not. "Please…just leave me alone." Snape could feel his heart breaking as she dashed away and the others that were left, stood in a stunned silence.

Snape could feel so many emotions clouding his heart and brain; he wanted to throw a chair or chase after Lily or do _something_. He felt sick as he made a move to follow Lily but out of the corner of his eye he could see the others staring at him. Sirius was smirking, which didn't bother him so much but Hermione… Hermione's expression had nothing but pity.

And just like that Snape could feel the emotions draining from him. They seemed to seep out through the cracks like vapor and as it disappeared so did the anger and the hurt and the pain. He felt empty but there was no more pain. That part was good at least.

Hermione looked as if she knew what had happened. He could imagine his face going from shock and hurt to a completely blank mask.

This was much better than the pain that had been invading him a few moments ago.

"Severus?" Hermione said his name like a question, her expression still looked pitying and Snape sneered in response.

"Where is Headmaster Dumbledore? I must speak with him." Snape brushed past the girl and bristled when he heard Sirius laugh behind him.

"Stop it Sirius." Hermione snapped. Snape acted as though he hadn't heard her and ascended the staircase to the front doors. Determined to find Dumbledore and remove Remus and Sirius from this school. Then maybe he'd forget Lily's face as she begged him to leave her alone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Let me just remind you that I do not own Harry Potter or anything that you recognize in this story, the wonderful, fantastic, magnificent, marvelous, amazing, brilliant, beautiful blonde called J.K. Rowling does….love her :) And if you did not know this you need to get out from under that rock you're living under.**

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, I've been visiting fam. The next update probably won't be for a while either because my friend is coming to visit me for a week and I will be spending all my time with her and not on my beloved baby (aka my laptop :))**

**Also I have to come to the realization that fluffiness and extended amounts of snogging and gazing into each other's eyes are exhausting to write.**

**Chapter 17:**

_Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them. – J.K. Rowling_

Remus groaned as he rolled over and blinked away the harsh light filtering in through the Shack's boarded up window.

Something was wrong.

He could smell it, a metallic scent that hung on the air, blood. Remus stiffened and shut out the world by closing his exhausted eyes.

_I've finally done it. I hurt someone._

He didn't want to think past that. Tears sprung up and he bit his lip to try and stop them. He felt horribly selfish when his first thought was that he would have to leave Hogwarts and never see Hermione again. It was unbearable.

He gathered his nerve and jumped to his feet to see the damage that he'd caused.

A body laid next to him, taking deep, even breaths and appeared to be fast asleep.

"James!" Remus yelped as he recognized his friend and leapt on the dusty floor to check to see if he was alright. When he reached for James' robes he paused to stare at the dusting of dried blood that covered his fingers. His hands shook until James rolled over to glare up at his friend.

"Can't a bloke sleep around here?" James snapped.

"J-James I hurt you." He stared at the blood on James' pant leg and was furious when James shrugged. "Did I bite you?" Remus half whispered.

"No, no, of course not. It's just a scratch." But he hissed when he tried to move it and Remus jumped on him again. James chuckled as Remus fussed over the wound.

"How can you laugh?" Remus was on the verge of tears so James decided to help him out.

"Where are your clothes mate?"

Horrified, Remus turned away so James couldn't see his blush as he ran to his neatly stacked and folded pile of laundry.

He rushed to put them on and while he was busy James attempted to stand. "You haven't got any of that dittany stuff do ya?"

"Yes. It's here." Remus reached into his robes pocket and pulled out a vial of Essence of Dittany.

A noise from outside the Shack stopped their talking and they glanced in each other in panic at the sound of Madam Pomfrey coming to retrieve Remus.

"Remus dear? Are you decent?" He blushed when he heard his friend snigger.

Remus threw the vial to James who ducked under the Invisibility Cloak in only a few moments. He caught the vial and disappeared as Remus called back to the Healer. "Yes ma'am."

The door moved away and revealed a ruffled Madam Pomfrey, she wasn't a morning person and always seemed irritated when she'd come to get him after a full moon. "You look well." She said shortly before coming in to double check him for any injury. When she'd done circling him she backed away with raised eyebrows. "Much better than usual dear." After she had finished she handed him his wand which they kept on full moons until morning.

Remus nodded. "You know ma'am I think I can get to breakfast myself today."

Madam Pomfrey studied his face for a few moments before nodding, to his great relief. "That's an excellent idea dear. If you don't mind I think I'll go back to bed."

Remus nodded encouragingly as she went back to the entrance and looked over her shoulder. "Aren't you coming Remus?"

"Oh, I'll be up in a few minutes."

"Of course. Without another word she ducked out and the moment she was gone around the corner James revealed himself. While under the Cloak he had poured some Dittany on his injury and already it looked a few days old.

"Explain." Remus pointed to James leg and his friend sighed.

"It's a long story mate."

"We have all morning."

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Hermione sat at the Gryffindor alone for the first time in weeks. Every single one of her friends was missing, including Dumbledore, McGonagall and Slughorn who were also gone and she noticed a certain hook nosed teen missing from the Slytherin table. She could only assume there was some meeting going on between Sirius, Snape and their Heads of Houses and the Headmaster. Lily had decided not to come down to breakfast because her eyes were still swollen and red. Alice and Peter always skipped Saturday breakfasts so they could sleep in. But what was really worrying her was the missing Remus and James. Remus would always make a point of making an appearance at breakfast after a full moon so he could eat and regain his strength but also to lower suspicion since he'd miss dinner the night before.

Hermione couldn't force down her oatmeal and instead pushed it around her bowl. She should have skipped with Alice and Lily but she had hoped to see Remus and talk to him. She was so worried about him.

Hermione was so lost in thought that she missed the school's barn owl land next to her glass of pumpkin juice and stick out a familiar heavy piece of parchment with loopy script across the front. To get her attention the owl pecked the edge of her bowl and she jumped at the loud sound.

"Oh thank you!" She handed the owl a piece of bacon before taking the letter and it flew off to go back to the owlery. She read the note over several times before she was finally able to process that it was from Dumbledore and he requested her presence in his office immediately. Probably about what had happened last night.

So she set aside her uneaten bowl and ducked out of the Great Hall and headed to the Headmaster's Office.

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"Did you know that this would happen?" Dumbledore's voice was tired and his blue eyes were full of exhaustion and sadness.

Hermione sighed. "I did."

Dumbledore nodded as he stood and went to his pensieve. His wand withdrew a long silvery bit of memory from his temple and he dropped it into the swirly, silvery mass in the bowl. "You know," Hermione could not see his face because his back was turned to her but the resignation in his voice scared her. "when I invited Mr. Lupin here I did realize that there were risks, but with the proper precautions he could have a normal life….I never imagined that the real danger was other students."

Hermione jumped to her feet. "Sirius didn't mean to hurt Snape if you can believe it. He only wanted to scare him I think. But never hurt him."

"Of course not Ms Granger." Dumbledore returned to his seat calmly and waited patiently for Hermione to also calm down and sit with him. "Now I think the real question is why you didn't think of getting one of your professors to get Mr. Snape rather than put another student in danger."

Hermione blushed but her back straightened. "No. It had to be James."

Dumbledore quirked an eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"

"It's important, but I can't really tell you."

Dumbledore smiled. "It's alright Hermione."

Hermione started when he used her name.

"I will trust you." Dumbledore adjusted his spectacles as he studied her over them. "I'm sorry my disagreements with the ministry have delayed your return home my dear."

Hermione's lips lifted in a smile. "It's alright sir. I'm actually very glad that I've had this time."

Dumbledore was silent for a few moments before nodding and removing his glasses. "You still remember our last conversation?"

"Yes sir."

"I want you to have an enjoyable time here of course but you do not belong here. And I think you'll agree with me."

Hermione nodded.

He pushed around the memories in his pensieve with a long finger, they swirled and danced around his hand and Hermione wondered how he did it without being sucked into the memories.

"Your friends will miss you greatly I think. It is a good thing they won't remember."

Hermione felt a little sad at the idea but she could see how it was important that they did not remember. They could not recall her; it could end up being disastrous.

Hermione blushed as she remembered.

"_Instead I want to capture all of the memories and put them in a sort a box, then stuff it into the corner of their minds. The friends you make here will be unable to access it but it would be less dangerous than trying to erase the memories completely. It will be a difficult piece of magic and I'll have to research extensively to do it but I think it'll be worth it. Does this sound adequate to you Hermione?"_

_She felt horrible that she would have to take away memories of her, Sirius and Remus especially, but none of them recognized her so they'd had them taken away somehow. _

"_The only danger with this is that sometimes a person can access these memories."_

_Surprised, Hermione's mouth fell open. "Really? How would they manage that?"_

"_Love is a very powerful type of magic Hermione. Love would break open that box of memories of you." He looked at her reprovingly and Hermione wondered how much he'd heard about Sirius singing at Hogsmeade. But that didn't matter because she definitely didn't love Sirius and he didn't love her. She wasn't worried about it not working._

"_I think we'll be fine Headmaster."_

Did what she say then still hold true?

"I…I trust your judgment sir." Hermione muttered. Knowing that Dumbledore knew Legilimency she forced herself to not think of all the hours she'd spent with Remus behind closed doors, that would just be to embarrassing for him to know about. The whole thing was looking less and less like a good idea.

"I'm glad to hear it." Dumbledore brought out another tin of Lemon Drops and popped one in his mouth. "Lemon drop?" Hermione declined with a smile and watched him suck on it for a few moments before he spoke again.

"You know, when I was small I always admired the wisdom of the old." Dumbledore finished his lemon drop and began searching for another suitable one. Hermione was busy imagining Dumbledore as a young man. "What you don't realize is that age does not equate to wisdom." He chuckled. "Sometimes I feel as though I grow more foolish the older I get." He trailed off before he seemed to remember Hermione was still in the room. "But thank you for your faith in me my dear. Although I do not think I deserve it."

"Ah, but you do." Hermione smiled before standing. "Is that all Headmaster?"

"Yes, yes of course. Go enjoy the weekend."

O

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Hermione walked out of the office in hopes of finding out where Remus had disappeared to when she bumped into someone on the moving staircase.

"Hermione?"

"Oh Sirius!"

Sirius gave her a nervous smile and Hermione remembered that the last time they'd seen each other she had yelled at him and even pushed him. She felt a little bad but he_ had_ been acting like a git. She gave him an encouraging smile in return and his smile grew wider.

"Are you in trouble?" She glanced behind her shoulder at Dumbledore's door. His smile faded slightly and he tried to shake it off. He shrugged and grabbed her upper arm.

"Can I talk to you?"

"I suppose." She said carefully. Hermione wished that things were not so awkward between them. She missed his friendship. Hermione sighed as he pulled her into an empty class and locked the door. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she stood nervously in the middle of the room. Sirius was standing just as awkwardly a few feet away.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Said Sirius very quickly and Hermione tried to keep her mouth from falling open in surprise.

"You what?"

"I'm apologizing. I've been acting like a right git."

Hermione's eyes widened.

He grinned wickedly at her reaction. "As one of the most handsome blokes to grace the halls of Hogwarts I should've respected your desire to remain friends. I can have any number of willing birds and I shouldn't reduce myself to chasing a reluctant, however beautiful, girl." He said with a smirk and he mock bowed.

Despite his arrogance…Hermione was touched. After all these months he'd finally come to value her as a friend and not just another tail to chase. She swallowed the lump that rose to her throat. She only wished he'd realized this earlier so that she could've noticed what was happening between her and Remus sooner…. But better late than never. Hermione rolled her eyes and poked his chest. "Someone's a little arrogant don't you think?"

"Come now Hermione. One lady's rejection isn't going to deflate this ego completely." If he had a hat Hermione could just imagine him flourishing it and primping before a big gilded mirror. "Of course if you ever change your mind…"

"You have no shame."

He laid a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. For once his touch felt different, usually he would make her feel uncomfortable by bumping her leg of hugging her a few moments too long but this seemed different from all those times, more friendly. And she put her own hand over his. Maybe they really could go back to being friends.

"I'm sorry."

Hermione nodded and gave him a smile. "It's alright Sirius." He removed his hand. "I'm glad we're still friends."

He hugged her and she was even more surprised when it was for an appropriate amount of time. He saluted her before unlocking the door and heading out. "See you 'round love!"

Then he was gone.

O

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Sirius breathed out a sigh of resignation as he entered the Headmaster's Entrance staircase once again and slowly moved toward his fate. After everything, if he really was expelled for this, at least he'd been able to apologize to Hermione. He would've liked to talk to Lily too but he'd only run into Hermione out of pure luck.

He reached the top of the staircase and took a few deep breaths before knocking.

"Come in!"

Sirius opened the door and glanced at the furious face of his Head of House.

"You're late." Professor McGonagall snapped.

Sirius winced when he saw that Snape, Slughorn and Dumbledore were also waiting for him.

Snape looked awfully smug.

"Sit down Mr. Black." Dumbledore gestured to a chair next to Snape and Sirius did his best to not roll his eyes at this.

They lectured him for close to an hour while Snape looked on with an infuriating smug look. Then they started in on him. It hadn't gotten past the Professors that Snape had gone down that tunnel just to get his fellow students in trouble. Mostly it was McGonagall who reprimanded them while Slughorn looked bored and Dumbledore studied them with those eyes of his. Sirius kept silent and prayed that he wouldn't be expelled. He had nowhere to go. Uncle Alphard might take him in but he was already taking care of Sirius too much. He'd probably be blasted from the family tree any day now. If Sirius was expelled he didn't think he could ever show his face at the Potter's again either. After everything they'd done for him it would be a nice way to repay them. And he would die before going back to_ that_ place. These were his only thoughts as McGonagall dug into him but finally it came the time to decide his punishment.

"Well what should your punishment be Mr. Black?" Dumbledore interrupted McGonagall before she could start in on him again and Sirius was rather grateful for the kooky old man.

But then he realized everyone was waiting for an answer from him. "You want me to decide my punishment?"

Snape gnashed his teeth in anger and Sirius almost turned to say 'You're telling me.' But he stopped himself.

"But," Sirius looked round at them. "I don't know."

"Detention until the end of the year then?" Slughorn asked and Sirius mouth dropped open in shock when Dumbledore and McGonagall nodded in agreement.

"He tries to kill me and you give him detention?" Snape snarled and Sirius didn't respond, he was still too surprised.

"You mean…you're not going to expel me?" Sirius asked softly.

"Not today My Black." McGonagall said seriously before turning to Snape.

Sirius didn't hear his punishment, he was in a daze as the meeting ended and he walked back to his Common Room without even realizing it.

O

O

O

Remus stared at James in horror.

"You mean I tried – I almost – " Remus stood and stared at the dusty floor.

"Remus?"

Remus sat down again and brought his knees up to his chin so he could wrap his arms around his legs.

"Remus I'm fine. For a moment I was human but Snape got out in time and I was able to change into a stag so he couldn't see and you didn't hurt me."

"But your leg – " Remus hissed.

"Ah it's no biggie." James stood and took a few steps. He didn't even limp and yet Remus could not feel any better about it. "I'm fine."

"And Snape. I almost…" Remus could not bring himself to say it.

"No one was hurt. Sirius is probably getting his punishment as we speak. Nothing's changed Remus."

"How can you say that?" Remus whispered. "_Everything_ has changed. I almost killed someone. I've never been so close to – to – "

Remus stood and went to the Shack's exit.

"I'll see you later."

Before James could stop him, Remus ran down the tunnel. He reached the Willow after a few minutes of running and he jabbed the knot before heading to the castle.

_I almost killed Snape. Or I guess I could have turned him into a werewolf like me._

It was such a close call at yet James had shrugged it off. Did his friends not understand how much this was killing him?

O

O

O

"What do you think you're doing?"

Remus jumped when he heard that familiar voice and it actually caused him pain. His chest tightened and he knew she would be standing in that doorway, waiting for him to explain the packed trunk and his travelling cloak. She wasn't supposed to be here.

He wanted to see her and yet…she was also the last person he wanted to see. A lump rose in his throat as a horrible thought crossed his mind. What if Hermione had been the one that went after Snape?

He would've turned her into a werewolf. A monster….

_Like_ me.

"Hermione." He folded that last of his robes and set it in his trunk then turned to face her.

"So you just thought you'd leave? Without telling anyone?" Hermione glared at him for a few moments before her face turned softer….sadder. "Even me?"

Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose. He'd been so careful. No one was supposed to know he was leaving. So how had she known?

"Don't go." Her voice cracked but her eyes remained dry and she met his eyes steadily. "Please."

"I-I can't." Remus groaned and sat on the edge of his bed. "I could have killed him. Or worse…." He didn't finish his thought but Hermione knew what he meant.

"So being a werewolf is worse than death is it?" Hermione clenched her fist and stalked over to him. She wanted to slap some sense into him, like when she'd hit Malfoy. But Remus was not an idiot like that ferret. She tried to remain calm and she would _convince _him that leaving was wrong. She_ had_ to. It felt as though the world would crumble if Remus left. "Explain yourself." She snapped.

Remus flinched before sighing and grasping her warm hands. He ran his thumbs over her knuckles, memorizing the soft skin and the freckle over her right index finger. He almost smiled when he saw a dab of ink smeared on her pinky. So even on a Saturday morning she was doing homework? Oh how he loved this girl. A lump jumped to his throat.

"Remus?"

"You don't think they'd let me stay after last night do you?" Remus dropped her hands and stood. He turned away from her and clicked his trunk closed.

"Of course they would. No one was hurt Remus."

Remus laughed bitterly and turned to gaze at her with a mirthless smile. "Does that matter? Soon Snape will tell the rest of the school. If I don't leave now I'll be chased out." Remus hunched his shoulders. "I will not be thrown out." He pushed past her and grabbed his wand from his nightstand. Silently, he charmed his trunk to lift off the ground and move toward the door.

"Stop!"

_I don't deserve her. _

"_I don't deserve someone anyway. Not with my…condition. It wouldn't be fair to the girl."_

His own words slammed into him with so much force he couldn't breathe. Where had his brain this last week? What the _hell_ had he been thinking! He'd selfishly put Hermione in danger by letting her get so close to him. A shiver of despair gripped him and more waves of anguish hit him when he felt Hermione's small hand land on his shoulder.

"Remus? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Her small, frightened voice was only making everything worse.

Remus took deep breathes, trying to control himself enough to answer her. Images of an injured Hermione were flashing across his mind and he wanted to throw up.

"I-I…Hermione I – " He couldn't speak; the emotions were making it impossible to even form a coherent sentence.

"What if I had hurt you?" He hadn't meant to yell but his voice came out sharp and fierce. He felt worse when Hermione jumped away from him.

"W-what are you talking about? No one's hurt." She said calmly.

"But there could've been! There could've been…" This thought was too much and Remus choked on his next words.

Hermione was dying. The expression on Remus' face was terrible, so full of pain and self hatred. Her heart was full of worry and she wished she knew what to say so that Remus would see that everything was okay, that he didn't need to blame himself for what had happened. No was hurt.

"Stay away from me." He growled.

"W-what?" Hermione was so shocked she stepped away from him again. "What are you saying?" She couldn't breathe.

Remus stood and put as much distance between himself and Hermione as the room would allow.

"Remus, stop. I don't understand. If you would just talk to me."

"I was a fool to think I could ever be with you."

"Don't say that – "

"I will not be the cause of your suffering!" Remus grabbed his hair as if he wanted to split his skull in half. His feet began pacing of their own accord. "What if you had been the one to go down that tunnel Hermione? I WILL NOT be the one to hurt you!"

"WHAT? _That_ is what you're worried about?" Hermione grabbed Remus' arm to make him stop pacing. "Do you not think I am capable of protecting myself? I've seen far worse things than werewolves and I've been able to get by! I don't want to hear you talk like this anymore." Hermione sent a hex to drop his trunk and stomped across the room to grab it. She dragged it away from him and before he could stop her, she threw it open and began tossing his clothes on the bed. "You! Are! Not! Leaving!"

"Do you not realize how dangerous I am you silly girl?"

Hermione's mouth dropped open and she threw his own shoe at his head. "Silly, am I!" She launched herself at him and pounded his chest with her fists. "You're such an idiot! Shut up! Just shut up!"

He grabbed her wrists and she could feel him tensing, as if he was resisting the urge to throw her across the room. "You are acting like a child."

Hermione choked on a sob and dropped her head into his chest. Sobs were raking her body and she was ashamed that she couldn't stop. "I- I- I'm s-sorry. P- please don't leave me." Remus had stopped breathing beneath her touch and she had to see his expression. To know if he was feeling the same way she was. She forced herself to look up.

Hermione sucked in a breath when she met Remus' eyes, which were a brilliant gold. "With me you will always be in danger and I – " He stopped speaking and backed away from her. "I – "

Hermione sniffed and wiped her nose. He hadn't hurt her at all but she was a little frightened by his expression. She'd never see him like this. "What? You what?"

Remus' breaths became shallow and Hermione watched his eyes fade back to blue. "I love you."

Tears sprung to Hermione's eyes and despite their fighting she felt warmth fill her and she wanted to hug him until he realized she'd never let go and he could not leave.

But he beat her to the punch and he was holding her so closely she could barely breathe. "I love you." He whispered into her hair and she wanted to answer. To tell him that she felt the same way. She opened her mouth but was stopped by his urgent whisper. "I love you and so I must leave you." Then his warmth was gone and before she could move he had magically repacked and was walking out the door. It slammed behind him and Hermione's knees gave out. They painfully jabbed into the rug and the breath was knocked from her chest.

_H- he left._

Hermione's tears dried after a few moments and she moved to his bed. She fell heavily on her stomach and her face was buried by his fluffy pillow. It smelled like him, like the forest and chocolate. Was there nothing she could have said to stop him? Had she said the wrong things?

She remembered after Dumbledore had died and Tonks had convinced Remus to that they could be together. What had she said again?

"_You see?"said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's bitten! She doesn't care!"_

"_It's different." Said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely – "_

"_But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times…"_

"_And I've told you a million times, " said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor… too dangerous…"_

The similarities between this conversation and her own with Remus were disconcerting. Tears continued to stream down her face and she was filled with humiliation. Did she really love Remus as much as Tonks? And even if she did, so what? Remus would be with her in the end… Hermione gasped and clutched her chest in pain. What did she know about love? She was only seventeen and the closest she had ever gotten was maybe with Ron… but the last few months… The joy she'd feel when he'd enter the room or smile at her or when he'd study with her and wouldn't tease her for her love of books. The graceful way he carried himself and always spoke so gently to her. That…that warmth when he was close or kissing her behind tapestries and how his pain was her pain…

Hermione jumped to her feet.

She ran so fast from the room her robes whipped behind her and she threw it off so she could try and be faster. The black material fluttered to the ground behind her on the staircase as she flew out of the Common Room and down to the Entrance Hall. She bowled over a few first and second years on the way but finally she reached the top of the stairs as Remus was opening the front door.

"REMUS!" Hermione shouted and laughed in delight when he froze and looked up at her in surprise. She didn't want to think of the state she was in, red-faced, her hair flying in every direction and her desperate gasps for air. Maybe she didn't know what love was….maybe she would ruin everything…but that slight chance, that tiny sliver of hope that she might love Remus was too much to give up. "I don't care!"

Remus' look of confusion was too much and she burst into hysterical laughter as she sprinted down the stairs. She took a steadying breath before approaching him again and smiling. "I don't care about the consequences because… I don't want anyone but you." Hermione grabbed his collar and brought his head down so she could kiss him properly. When she released him she was overjoyed to see him smiling slightly. Such a small thing and yet it was filling her with such happiness. No. She could not give this up. "I didn't just run down those stairs for nothing so you're going to pick up this trunk and put it back in your room or I swear I'll hex you into next Tuesday."


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Let me just remind you that I do not own Harry Potter or anything that you recognize in this story, the wonderful, fantastic, magnificent, marvelous, amazing, brilliant, beautiful blonde called J.K. Rowling does….love her :) And if you did not know this you need to get out from under that rock you're living under.**

**A/N: Wow sorry about the wait on this one guys that was pretty pathetic of me but I'm taking summer classes so I can be done with college sooner rather than later and it is just EATING away at my time and energy! Who saw Harry Potter this weekend! That was my attempt at changing the subject :). Fantastic no? I'm very sad it's over but thank God for fanfiction right?**

**So long to midnight shows and all-nighters trying to read the Harry Potter book that just came out. Goodbye to brave characters and DA meetings and butterbeers at the Leaky Cauldron. Goodbye until I open those life-changing (as nerdy as this sounds) books to read again and again and again. Yes the last chapter has closed but it will always be a part of my life and I hope, of yours. Love to all Harry Potter fans like me! I raise my Firewhiskey to you, here here!**

**Chapter 18**

_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. __- __Lao Tzu_

1997:

_Remus dropped to Harry's side and examined his injured arm, which Harry had forgotten about in the last few minutes. "You're going to be alright Harry, I promise."_

"_But Remus, what about all these werewolves? The guards? Malfoy? How exactly are we supposed to get out of here?" Harry sighed and gently moved away from Remus. "How could you leave Lupin?"_

Remus continued to stare at the ground. "I lost my wand so I can't heal you but I'll see if I can find any Dittany in these woods. For now we'll just clean it."

"No. First I want to know why you left!" Harry shoved Remus away and glared at him through narrowed green eyes.

"Harry you're wound is infected. It needs to be cleaned or you'll lose it." Remus ignored Harry's protests as he grabbed Harry's arm. He tried wiping some of the dirt away but stopped when Harry hissed in pain.

There was silence for a while as Harry moped and Remus tried to decide what to tell him. Remus knew Harry deserved the truth, considering he'd come all this way to help him but Remus wasn't particularly proud of his actions.

"Where's Hermione?" Harry finally said when Remus had trouble telling Harry something.

"She's…" Remus struggled for a moment before groaning and making himself comfortable. "Harry I don't want you to panic over this, Hermione is safe and she is not in any sort of danger."

"I really don't like how you're starting this explanation Lupin." Harry growled.

Remus groaned and rubbed his temple, sometimes simple was just the way to go, "Hermione thought that she could save Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore?" Harry said the name as if he had never known the man. It didn't make any sense. "But I thought wizards couldn't bring back the dead. That's what Dumbledore told me." Harry didn't mention that he had been talking about his parents but he had a feeling Remus knew.

"That's true." Remus nodded. "But she had a Time-Turner."

"All the Time-Turners were destroyed in the Ministry Battle." Harry interrupted.

"Except for one." Remus said.

Harry was silent. "I'm guessing it didn't work then."

"No." Remus ran his hand through his graying, thinning hair. "Something happened with her Time-Turner. She went too far back. I think someone supposedly messed with it."

Harry stared at Remus. "How far?" After his short years in the wizarding world many strange things had been revealed as possible, time travel the least of them.

"Twenty years."

Harry's jaw dropped. "Twenty _years_!"

Remus waited for Harry to calm down before continuing. "She ended up in the year 1976. In our sixth year." Remus actually smiled at this. "Nearly gave us a heart attack when we saw her." He chuckled.

Harry didn't get the joke. "When you say 'we'…. You mean she met my parents?" Harry half whispered. Despite the danger he thought Hermione might be in at this moment he couldn't help but feel jealous.

Remus chuckled again. "Yes Harry. Even Sirius was half in love with her."

Harry smiled at that but then thought about it for a moment before his amusement turned to horror. "What!"

Remus frowned at Harry's reaction….when he found out about him and Hermione… "She never encouraged him but he was at it every day. Leaving her flowers and singing to her in Hogsmeade. It's not as if he could really understand that she's half his age Harry. And Hermione is a very pretty girl."

Harry was staring at Remus in bewilderment. "What did you say?"

Remus blushed but quickly stood. "I'll explain everything to you soon Harry. But first I need to get us out of here. I'll come for you tonight." And with that Remus left Harry in a stunned silence.

The conversation with Harry had left him thinking though. What would happen when Hermione returned? He loved her the same as if she'd left him yesterday, now that all his memories had come back in one go but… he also loved Tonks…

O

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Remus woke up sweaty and panting in fright. Another nightmare. They had never stopped since Sirius had died. After that loss Remus had been unable to look at the war the same again, after everything, he'd lost him for a second time. He'd lost every one of his friends. One by one. Slowly swallowed by the tides of war and for an effort that Remus sometimes, in his worst moments, he wondered if it was all worth it. Then he would see Harry fighting so hard to destroy Voldemort and he would be ashamed of his weakness and he had decided a long time ago to put all his trust in Harry and fighting until the end.

He could remember when he'd discovered that Lily and James were killed and Sirius had supposedly killed Peter and betrayed James and Lily. It had been a horrible moment, one of the worst of his life. But reading Peter's name on the Marauder's map three years ago had been awful, he had felt as though everything he knew had been a lie, Peter the true betrayer and Sirius the friend. Seeing Sirius after twelve years had been heart breaking. They should've had years to mourn the loss of their friend, to hate the man that had destroyed all their lives.

But Sirius and Remus had mistrusted the wrong person; put their faith in the wrong person. They both had been suspicious of the other, convinced that one of them was the spy and was the one leaking the information to Voldemort, they had been so focused on each other they hadn't even noticed Peter. What would be different if Sirius hadn't gone behind Remus' back and switched Secret-Keeper with Peter? If only Sirius had switched with _him_. If only he had trusted his friend, like in their school days. Remus didn't like to think about the possibilities, it was too horrible to think of what could have been saved or lost.

Sometimes Remus had wondered if being a Marauder meant that you were cursed.

Remus tossed his thin sheet from his body and hesitantly moved off his cot. Glancing around he could see the other cots were full of other members of the pack, all fast asleep.

It was lucky his dream had waken him, his plan had been to stay up until everyone was asleep and then to head out and find Harry's confiscated wand to make things easier and then they could sneak off before anyone noticed they were gone. But he must have fallen asleep waiting for the others.

Remus tip toed past the sleeping men until he was able to duck out the tent entrance and see that the nightly fire had burnt out. The sky was a light gray color and Remus cursed his foolishness in falling asleep. He and Harry would have less time to escape now.

O

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Harry sat in his tent, eagerly awaiting Remus' arrival and their inevitable escape. In this damnable tent he had nothing to do but reflect and brood. It wasn't healthy.

A noise outside the tent made Harry jump to his feet and he prepared to make a run for it. Any second now.

But Harry was forced to retreat from the exit when a group entered the small space. Harry was frozen in terror when he recognized Remus being dragged between two of the werewolves. When they released him, Remus slumped to the floor and Harry regained enough sense to scramble forward and to check to see if Remus was okay. His face was beaten up pretty badly, an ugly bruise was blooming over his left eye and his lip was swelling.

"What did you do to him?" Harry asked in astonishment. Why had they even hurt him?

His question was answered when Malfoy entered the tent and stared down at Harry and the beaten Remus in distain. "Did you honestly think you could escape so easily boy?" He let out a cruel laugh that had Harry bristling in anger. "I have to go soon. The Dark Lord will be made aware of your location, and he will come for you Harry Potter and you and your pathetic resistance will all be killed." Malfoy's smile was grotesque. "So I guess this is goodbye."

One of the werewolves that had carried in Remus let out a barking laugh. "Have you forgotten who actually caught the boy? He belongs to us!" There was a howl of approval from the surrounding werewolves and Malfoy had a hard time keeping the distain off his face.

"We have not joined your Dark lord yet, Malfoy." Another wolf joined in.

Harry tuned out their bickering and studied Remus. He seemed to be waking up and Harry dragged him away from the fray in case fighting broke out. No one noticed him pull Remus into the corner of the tent. "Are you alright?" Harry whispered.

Remus nodded and glanced at the crowd. "I'm sorry Harry. They caught me while I tried to retrieve your wand."

"It's okay Lupin." But it wasn't okay, all the hope that had been building up through the night was seeping out of him. They had no hope of ever getting out of this alive now. Not unless they were saved.

Remus was looking better by the moment. He even managed to pull himself up into a sitting position.

The crowd suddenly left and Harry stared after them.

"What's going on?"

"There has been a lot of infighting." Remus explained. "Half the pack wants to join Voldemort but Malfoy's presence has stirred up a lot contempt. Torin has had a hard time of keeping everyone under control."

"Torin?"

"The alpha-er… I mean the leader." Remus said awkwardly.

Harry sighed and leaned against one of the many wooden crates in the tent. This must have been where everyone put storage because no one came in very often.

"We have nothing but time until someone comes to find us I guess." Harry murmured.

Remus flinched at his dark tone but nodded his head in agreement. "Someone will discover your absence soon if they haven't already.

"And Tonks knows you're gone." Harry said hopefully.

"True."

There was silence for several minutes until Remus said faintly. "I missed our wedding."

"What?" Harry hissed.

Remus clenched his fist and stared at a point over Harry's left shoulder. "It was supposed to be small, just her parents and a few friends from the Order." Remus dropped his head. "Yesterday, it was supposed to be yesterday. You were invited too of course but we were worried about your safety."

Harry couldn't answer.

"I think I-" Remus gulped and stared harder at his shoes. "I think I'm glad I missed it." He whispered.

Harry sucked in a breath and looked away. Remus was acting so strange.

"But why would I feel like that? I love her."

Harry frowned. "But if you loved her….why would even question marry her?" Harry, who could think of only one girl who he would ever want to marry, could not understand why Remus was hesitating. "I thought all your doubts were gone after Dumbledore-"

"It's happening so fast I just-" He didn't finish and Harry couldn't bring himself to ask.

"Well I hope you figure it out."

Remus sighed.

"Why did you leave?" Harry stared hard at Remus' crumpled expression. "What's changed?"

The question was unavoidable now, Remus was stuck in this tent with Harry for a while and he couldn't just leave….or lie.

"After Hermione left to come back to the future-"

"Where is she then? If she left then where is she?"

"I honestly don't know Harry, I'm just as worried as you."

Harry snarled. "She could be stuck in another strange time! Who would let her travel around like that all by herself?"

"She's a big girl Harry-"

"Who?"

"Well Dumbledore is the one who took my memories so he must have known about her."

"Your memories?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you Harry. After Hermione left, Dumbledore took all our memories of Hermione, possibly so we wouldn't recognize her and I only recently got them back."

Harry shuffled away from Remus. "You… but then… how would you not remember? How could you forget that Hermione was in your sixth year? Something else must have happened." Harry muttered the last sentence. But the questions seemed to bring him to life and Harry sat up from the ground.

Remus followed Harry's progress and nodded, hoping to keep Harry alert. "Yes. Dumbledore, he took our memories. I don't know why but perhaps he thought it was for the best." Remus said absently.

Harry snorted. "But if you had kept your memories you could have stopped her from going back." Harrry reasoned.

_I don't think I would have stopped her._ Remus jumped at the horrible thought. What was wrong with him for thinking such a selfish thing?

"You can't change the past Harry. But the future… the future is never certain." Remus trailed off.

"But prophecies – "

"Yes prophecies can predict the future but our choices are ultimately what decide it. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?"

Harry didn't answer for a long time. "Yes." He whispered. Remus wondered at his far off look and pale complexion but didn't comment.

"When people hear a prophecy, sometimes by trying to change it they end up making it happen anyway." Remus explained needlessly. "But Divination and all this fate and 'Destiny' talk is theory, I think Dumbledore must have believed it since he took our memories."

"How did you get your memories back?"

Remus was silent.

"Remus?"

"Harry I – " Remus cleared his throat and studied his boot for a moment. "I fell – I fell in love with her Harry."

Harry was shocked into silence. "You mean you – you and Hermione?" Harry said hoarsely. "But you're – "

"Old?" Remus said bitterly.

Harry didn't answer. The silence was long as Harry tried to digest this. His best friend and their teacher. Hermione and Remus. Hermione and his father's best friend. Harry gulped and tried to shake the image. Hermione and Remus. But at the same time… They were alike…. And he guessed that Remus had been handsome in school. Not that that was the most important thing, but he didn't know the whole story. What did he understand of love and the human heart?

Harry sighed. "So you mean it? You love H- Hermione?"

Remus sucked in a breathe but after a while he met Harry's gaze steadily. "More than anything."

Harry stared at Remus. "You better take good care of her and figure all this out Remus or I swear I'll rip you to shreds!"

Remus was shocked into silence for a moment before he burst out laughing. "Harry! I could never-" He laughed more until he was calmed down and could meet Harry's amused face. "Of course sir."

Harry snorted. "Sir? You're twice my age!"

"Yes but you said it just like her father or something."

Harry chuckled with Remus. "Sorry _sir_ but I mean it, if you so much as crack that little heart of hers-You don't even want to know." Harry nodded confidently.

Remus smiled fondly at the boy who looked just like James and yet, he was more like Lily than anything. "She talked about you a lot. It was always 'Harry and Ron this' or 'Harry and Ron that.'"

"Are you jealous or something?" Harry smirked and Remus snorted.

"Of a scrawny git like you? Right."

"I'm not _that _skinny!"

Remus patted Harry's shoulder. "James filled out eventually and so will you."

Harry swatted Remus away. "Oh shut up."

"No really! I bet that's the real reason Lily was put off by him for so long, it wasn't because he was too much of a Marauder and hexed first years until he was sixteen but because he was too skinny! I have discovered the truth!" Remus said triumphantly and Harry punched his arm.

"Shut it!"

O

O

O

1976:

Lily stood in the seventh floor corridor, glaring at the wall across from the portrait of Barnabus teaching those trolls ballet.

It hadn't been so long ago that she had come here with Hermione, James and his friends to play drinking games. A fun night to be sure, and if she was honest with herself, a turning point in the way she viewed James. She could attribute it to the alcohol but…that would be cheating. James had changed. Lily wasn't sure when but he had. Sure he still asked her to Hogsmeade trips and always seemed to just _be_ with her but his gaze wasn't so unnerving and she could have a proper conversation with him and even have fun doing it.

But she wasn't here to think about James.

What had been the trick to open the door? She'd been too drunk that night and she couldn't remember how they had made that door appear but she really really wanted to get away for only a few minutes. All she needed was a place to be alone and to just get away. Alice had been pestering her all day and as much as she loved the girl, Lily had lost her real best friend less than twenty four hours ago. Had it really been such a small amount of time? To her it felt like years.

The sound of approaching footsteps stopped her musings and Lily looked around frantically for somewhere to hide. She couldn't face anyone and pretend to be happy.

She noticed a statue of a knight and quickly ducked behind it as a figure turned the corner and entered her corridor. They only had to take a few steps before reaching a lamp and Lily could see their face.

_James? _

He was holding a piece of parchment and every once in a while he would study it before looking around. He was slowing scanning the hall. "Lily?" He hissed. "Lily?"

Lily blushed. Had he actually come looking for her?

"Lily I know you're here." He had stopped moving and was only standing a few feet away. "Were you trying to get in the Room of Requirement?" He was looking in her direction, she didn't know how he knew where she was but he did. He stuffed the parchment in his pocket before coming closer to the knight statue.

Hoping to keep some of her dignity, Lily stepped out from behind the statue and smiled at James. It wasn't a very convincing smile. "Hey." She said.

"Knew you were around here somewhere." He smiled widely at her but after a few minutes he stopped.

The silence was too much. Lily hid her smirk as she shuffled around, waiting for James to say something else.

"So- um- Did you need something?" Lily asked.

"Oh! Oh- yeah um- I actually came to check on you." James gestured to her. "And obviously you're fine!"

Lily couldn't help it, she burst into a fit of giggles.

At her laughter James' heart leapt to his throat, it must have been the first time he'd ever been able to make her do that, sober of course. James grinned, too happy to realize that he still hadn't told her why he had followed her.

"So you'll be leaving then?"

"What?" Now James was hurt.

"Well, you came because you were worried…." She trailed off. "You _were_ worried weren't you?"

"Yes! Yes! Exactly! I thought maybe you might need…I don't know- someone to talk to." He shrugged. "Hermione said you were pretty upset yesterday."

Lily sighed and her radiant expression disappeared. "I thought I might have some privacy. Maybe get into that room-"

"Room of Requirement."

"Right- well I thought I could get in there and be alone."

James nodded sympathetically. "I'll show you how then."

Lily raised her eyebrows. She'd thought he wouldn't catch the hint that she wanted him to leave but he had offered to help and wasn't bugging her about being by herself.

So the Stag Animagus showed her how to think about what you need- somewhere to be alone- and then pace in front of the wall and a door would appear, with everything you'd asked for inside.

"Pretty simple." He said as he opened the door for her. Inside was a single chair with a roaring fire and plush rug. It was quite a beautiful, peaceful-looking room.

"I love it." She breathed as she brushed past him and looked around at the shelves of books. How many other Hogwarts students had been upset and had come here for solitude?

James grinned from the doorway.

Honestly, she didn't think it would be so bad if he stayed. He was being quite-

Lily squealed as a second chair appeared next to her from nowhere. "W-what?" She looked at James for answers and he smiled as he stepped through the door.

"So I guess you do want me to stay then?"

"N-no, it just-"

"Lily, a few seconds ago the room wouldn't even let me in. You did say you wanted to be alone but _now_…" He stared pointedly at the second chair.

Lily blushed so brightly it matched her hair and James still couldn't help but wonder at her beauty. She looked away from him and went to sit in the chair, not able to meet his eyes she was so embarrassed.

James joined her in the second chair and for a while they were silent.

"If you really do want me to go-"

"It's fine."

More silence.

"How did you become an Animagus?" Lily asked suddenly.

James beamed. "Wasn't very subtle of me yesterday was it?" He was quiet but then sat up and met Lily's eyes. "It was because of Remus."

Lily didn't answer him for a few seconds. "Animals can't be bitten by werewolves." She muttered. "So you did it to be with him on full moons?"

Pleased that she had caught on so quickly he nodded. "Yeah! He was hurting himself you see-"

"It's very difficult to become an Animagus. It takes a lot of magical skill and devotion." She interrupted him. Lily glanced at James who was staring at her. He did it so much that it never really bothered her anymore. Sometimes it was annoying but… flattering. "That was very nice of you James."

"I have my moments."

Lily chuckled for the second time and James' heart skipped a beat. "Yeah. Sometimes."

O

O

O

" - then Hermione flew down the stairs and stopped Remus just in the nick of time." Alice sighed in a romantic way that thankfully, none of the Marauders caught on to.

"This isn't exactly how I remember it." Remus muttered. Alice shushed him with a wave of her hand.

"No. No that's how it happened!" Alice protested. "Now I'm telling the story!" Alice turned back to Sirius, James and Peter who watching Remus' exasperated expression with amusement. "Then she – ow!" Alice stopped when Hermione pinched her arm rather painfully but soon realized her mistake. Hermione's eyes were wide with fright and Alice quickly remedied the situation. "Well she said something to him and then helped him carry his things back up to the Gryffindor Tower. That's the end." She ended cheerfully. Beaming with delight that Hermione had found such a great guy. Remus really was the sweetest and most mature of his friends. Just like Hermione.

Very few people had been in the Entrance Hall to notice Hermione's flight down the stairs and the kiss. No one had seemed to care either, that is, except for Alice. Who had talked of nothing else all weekend. It was now Monday and the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff sixth years were in Transfiguration. Changing Parakeet's to pocket watches that could sing the time. No one was doing much transfiguring though.

The dense trio thanked Hermione profusely for stopping Remus without comment but a smarter witch's eyes were flicking between Remus and Hermione in interest.

"What exactly did you say to make him stay Hermione?" Lily smiled at Hermione's blush.

"Oh you know." She muttered. "Just that he was an idiot."

James, Peter and Sirius burst into laughter and clapped Remus on the back.

"Don't worry mate. She says that to me all the time." Sirius laughed.

"Do you find my lesson amusing Mr. Black?" McGonagall asked from the front of her class. Everyone noticed the slight smile on her lips except for Sirius who jumped to attention and sat up perfectly straight.

"No Professor!"

James and Peter sniggered.

When McGonagall was distracted by a girl from Hufflepuff in the front row Sirius turned back to his friends and gave them a sheepish grin. "I don't think she'll ever trust me again."

"You'll get her trust when you've earned it." Lily concluded and James gave her a sweet smile (which she did not notice).

Remus patted Sirius shoulder and they shared a look. For Hermione, it had been nice to see how quickly Remus forgave Sirius.

O

O

O

After Transfiguration, Hermione was walking with Remus and Sirius to the library. Every once in a while Remus would brush the back of his hand against hers and it made her blush. It had felt almost too easy to convince him to stay, hadn't Tonks said she'd begged him a million times to make him realize she loved him? But Hermione knew that the older Remus was probably much more practical, he'd been lonely for twelve years after Sirius was sent to Azkaban and Peter….Hermione froze. Why would Remus be lonely? He had James and Lily didn't he?

"Hermione?"

But it didn't make any sense. She had the very strong sense that Remus had been alone for twelve years. It was a fact. Had she lost some memory of James and Remus having some sort of fall out? She was so confused Hermione began to rub her temples frantically. What was happening? She could feel a breakdown coming on. Her breath was speeding up and her surroundings were fuzzy.

"Hermione! What's wrong love?"

"I- I'll be right back." Hermione ducked away from Sirius' arm and headed to the nearest girl's bathroom. Once she was safely inside she ran to the sink and took deep breaths, hoping to rid herself of the need to puke. She was scared. Something was missing from her own memories but for the life of her she couldn't remember what it was. What if it was important?

Hermione forced herself to stop thinking about it and clenched the edges of the sink until her knuckles turned white. After a few moments her breathing turned normal and she was able to take in her surroundings. Unfortunately she was in the second floor girl's bathroom. There was no sign of Myrtle but there was a different sound. It sounded very close to sobs but not the loud screams of Moaning Myrtle, these were quieter and sounded if someone was trying to stifle them. Maybe they didn't want her to hear?

"H-hello?" Hermione called tentatively. There was another gulping gasp from the last stall and Hermione hesitantly approached it, completely forgetting her own misfortunes for the moment. "Are you alright in there?" Before Hermione could reach out a hand to open the stall the door swung open and Hermione's jaw dropped. Standing with red eyes and running nose was none other than Doriana. "Doriana!" Hermione gasped but closed her mouth and stood awkwardly. It wasn't as if she and the Ravenclaw had been close these few months but she still knew the girl.

"Hermione." The girl sniffed before brushing her long hair behind her shoulders and angrily swiping her cheeks. She brushed past Hermione and went to the sink. She stood a little taller as she dipped her hands in the running water and refusing to meet Hermione's eyes. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

Hermione frowned as she approached the girl. She was unsure if she should press her for why she'd been crying. A part of her wanted to know but another part thought that maybe it had to do with Remus. "Why were you crying?" Hermione forced out.

Doriana shook her hands dry before meeting Hermione's eyes. "Nothing."

Hermione remembered in her first year, she'd been crying in a bathroom. All alone. Shame swelled in her and she forgot that Doriana wasn't her friend. "It didn't sound like nothing." Hermione said kindly.

They were both silent for a long time.

"I know I'm not a pleasant person." Doriana turned back to the mirror and seemed to study her face. "I have never had many friends."

Hermione wasn't sure what to say but felt a surge of empathy, she knew what it was like to not have friends after all.

"One time. I was studying in the library when a fifth year Slytherin girl knocked my books off the table and went away laughing." Doriana's eyes narrowed as she recalled the memory and Hermione was unsure what to say. "I was a second year." Doriana glanced at Hermione's face. "Remus helped me pick up the books, spoke words of encouragement, asked me my name and year. Kind person that he is." Doriana's eyes welled up with tears. "I have liked him for a long time. Even knowing that I do not deserve such a nice person." Doriana trailed off and after a moment she just glared at her reflection it was as if Hermione was no longer in the room. Doriana looked as if she was going to punch the glass and Hermione's eyes widened in fright. But the girl looked away from her reflection and took deep, even breaths and managed to calm herself.

"Everyone deserves someone." Hermione said certainly but Doriana ignored her.

"This year I made it my prerogative to talk to him. To be his friend. To make him see that I love him. It didn't turn out quite like I planned, this year has been so jumbled, it's all messed up." Hermione swallowed, if this year was so different…what would've happened if she wasn't here? Could things have gone differently for Doriana then? Would _she_ be with Remus? "But in the process I have lost the few friends I had in Ravenclaw." Doriana dropped her head. "They are angry with me for always sitting at the Gryffindor table. And it was all for nothing." Doriana gasped as more tears fell down her pale face. "Remus does not want me. He never did."

Hermione stood frozen. She had a feeling that this was the first time Doriana had ever revealed her true feelings to anyone. In a way she was much luckier than Doriana. She had always been blessed with good friends like Harry and Ron and now the Marauders, Lily and Alice. And she had Remus.

She had everything Doriana wanted and she felt a little sick about it. After all, it had all come so easy for her…

Hermione's chest welled with pity for the girl next to her and before she knew what she was doing she hugged her.

"I'm sorry Doriana."

The girl didn't answer but slowly reached around to hug Hermione back. "Thank you, but it's not like any of this is your fault." She whispered.

Hermione gulped.

After a while they separated and Doriana wiped her face clear. "I know I haven't been very nice to you." Doriana muttered as she picked up her book bag. "But thank you for listening to me."

"Anytime." Hermione nodded and smiled shyly.

"Actually," Doriana nervously adjusted her bag's strap and wouldn't look at Hermione. "I'm transferring after this year."

"You're what?" Hermione gasped.

Doriana sighed. "I think I'll be better off at Beauxbatons. I can make new friends…Start over. Work on my French." She shrugged. "No one will know my reputation for being a bitch." She laughed bitterly.

"No one thinks-"

Doriana raised an eyebrow at her.

"Based on today, I'd say your very nice deep down."

"Yes, very deep down." Doriana smiled at Hermione to let her know she was only joking.

Hermione could actually see it. Doriana had the same proud way of talking and confidence as Fleur. Not now that she was crying of course but Hermione could see her fitting in at that school much better than here. "If- if that's what you want." Hermione said hesitantly.

"It is." She said finally. "But I feel just terrible, I've been really awful, more than you even know, I think and I just wish there was some way to make it up. You've been nicer to me than I deserve."

Hermione's guilty conscience took several blows from this, Remus was with her even though Doriana had liked him for such a long time. Hermione couldn't meet the girl's eyes as she muttered, "No no. You don't owe me anything."

"But I want to give you something." Doriana tapped her chin with a long finger before snapping and pointing excitedly at the uncomfortable Hermione. "I know! The prefect's bathroom! If Ravenclaw tower is anything like the Gryffindor's you don't have bathtubs right? And I bet that goody two shoes Lily Evans hasn't ever given you the password!"

"Er- no but I don't-"

"That's it then! The password's 'mermish' and they change it every week so this is a limited time offer missy! And if you get caught, I didn't give you the password got it?" Doriana growled.

Hermione was about to refuse when the thought of a nice long bath sounded fantastic. She missed using the prefects bathroom. "Thanks Doriana. 'Mermish', you say? Ironic."

"What?"

"Never mind."

The blonde waved awkwardly as she made her way to the bathroom's exit. "See you 'round Hermione."

"Oh and Doriana!" Hermione shouted.

Doriana's head appeared around the door. "Yeah?"

"When you get to Beauxbatons, just be yourself. You know… the girl I met today." Hermione smiled. "Then you'll have more friends than you can deal with."

Doriana laughed before giving Hermione an appraising look. "If you say so."

Hermione stared at the place Doriana had left for a few moments before heading to the prefect's bathrooms. It was the middle of the day and everyone would be in classes, no one would even miss her. So she ducked through some of Harry's short cuts and made it to the door without meeting anyone.

Once she'd gotten inside and seen that it was completely empty she undressed and filled the bath with her favorite scents. The bathroom hadn't changed since she'd used it during her fifth and sixth years…..or it wouldn't change? Hermione brushed off the confusing time differences and slipped into the steaming water. After a while she added bubbles and played with them before relaxing into the smooth side of the bath and thinking over what this week had brought.

Hermione groaned as she slowly slid further and deeper into the soft, scented and warm water. Her mind was emptying, becoming clearer. Maybe she could do this before tests and it could help her relax enough to do even better?

She sighed in contentment as she completely immersed herself and the water closed over her head, with her eyes closed she felt as if she was shut off from everything, no sounds reached her ears and the only thing she could think, see or hear was water. Except for….

"_Instead I want to capture all of the memories and put them in a sort a box, then stuff it into the corner of their minds. The friends you make here will be unable to access it but it would be less dangerous than trying to erase the memories completely…" She felt horrible that she would have to take away memories of her, Sirius and Remus especially, but none of them recognized her so they'd had them taken away somehow. "The only danger with this is that sometimes a person can access these memories. Love is a very powerful type of magic Hermione. Love would break open that box of memories of you."_

Dumbledore's warning returned to her but so did another haunting conversation.

_Tears sprung to Hermione's eyes and despite their fighting she felt warmth fill her and she wanted to hug him until he realized she'd never let go and he could not leave. But he beat her to the punch and he was holding her so closely she could barely breathe. "I love you." He whispered into her hair and she wanted to answer. To tell him that she felt the same way. She opened her mouth but was stopped by his urgent whisper. "I love you and so I must leave you." Then his warmth was gone and before she could move he had magically repacked and was walking out the door. It slammed behind him and Hermione's knees gave out._

But in her own time, in 1997, had Remus Lupin ever once acknowledged her as more than Harry's friend? As his student?

Hermione's head rose from the water suddenly and she choked on the water that seeped into her nose. As quickly as she could between coughs she went to the side of the bath and clutched the side. Her brain felt fuzzy, slow. Shaking uncontrollably, she climbed out and wrapped a towel around her.

He had not _ever_ gotten his memories back….he did not love her and all this time, Remus was _lying_ to her?

**A/N: Wow how rude of me! Thank you guys so much for your support of this story like the alerts and favorites and reviews! Thank you a million times thank you!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Quick note. Sorry about such a late update, I could give you a billion excuses but mostly it was post-Harry Potter blues, it's actually over! *cries into pillow for thirty minutes then returns* I had to watch about fifty 80's movies to get back in a good mood to write ahaha Also, a lot of you guys have said I need a beta and I totally agree. I always make these silly little mistakes and I can imagine how annoying it is, so if anyone knows someone or would like to volunteer to beta for me, that would be awesome! And just for a fair warning, I'm freakishly erratic in my updating *obviously* I hate asking because I feel all conceited *nervous laugh* but I don't know, if no one wants to I'll manage same as usual! Okay there, I said it and now we can move on to the story!**

**Chapter 19**

"_God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.__" - __Reinhold Niebuhr _

_It's been so long so here's a Recap: Hermione was sent to the past by a faulty time turner and Dumbledore is trying to get her a new one from the ministry who are being arseholes as usual. Dumbledore also explained that Hermione is slowly losing her memories as a sort of 'survival technique' and side-effect of improper Time-Turner use. Among the memories she's lost is her friend from grade school, Lily and James' deaths and Peter's betrayal, Alice and Frank's torture and various other vague memories. To keep herself sane Hermione has trapped her best memories of Ron and Harry and is keeping them safe in Dumbledore's pensieve. But despite Hermione's best efforts she's not doing a very good job of not changing the future. In the first couple of days Hermione manages to snog James and to get Sirius following her around like a lost puppy. Remus also notices Hermione but with a dangerously persistent Ravenclaw, Doriana, panting after him it's hard to get Hermione's attention. Hermione's met various people from the future, Snape, Regulus, Slughorn and Lily Evans and is at wit's end trying to keep everything straight. Finally she realizes Remus' feelings for her and hers for him and they begin a secret relationship to save Sirius' pride. She stops him from leaving Hogwart's after Sirius stupid prank and is content until a run in with Doriana. Dumbledore has promised to lock away her friend's memories of her in order to keep the future straight and the only way to get them back is with 'love'. So has Remus been lying when he says he loves Hermione?_

_Meanwhile in 1998 Remus and Harry have embarked on a desperate search for Hermione. After the return of his memories Remus is driven into the clutches of a dangerous werewolf clan. Harry follows his friend and is also captured. Voldemort will soon know of Harry's whereabouts and without a wand it looks like Remus and Harry are in deep trouble. Or will someone come to the rescue in the nick of time? _

Hermione's head rose from the water suddenly and she choked on the water that seeped into her nose. As quickly as she could between coughs she went to the side of the bath and clutched the side. Her brain felt fuzzy, slow. Shaking uncontrollably, she climbed out and wrapped a towel around her.

Remus had not _ever_ gotten his memories back….he did not love her and all this time, Remus was _lying_ to her?

Hermione could feel her already shaky self confidence disintegrating. One moment she'd been on Cloud Nine, unaware of how much Remus and his attentions had been buoying her up until suddenly the truth of them came into question. Her pride had taken a few hits too but mostly it was her heart cracking that made her stumble across the bathroom. Hermione took deep, even breaths, trying to calm herself down.

Hermione hadn't really been using her head when she'd rushed into things with Remus. Everything had been too easy, his presence calmed and distracted her from the woes of the world. His kisses had forced thoughts of her uncertain future away and the memories. She'd learned to forget that she was forgetting things daily with Remus gently rubbing her neck and whispering his declarations of love in her ear. Hermione shivered and insanely wished that he was here now. From the beginning she had told herself that it was okay to enjoy this time with Remus. She'd believed she could protect her heart and keep a certain distance from him. Ha! She'd been so sure that she'd kept her heart heavily guarded so that she could return home and help Harry defeat Voldemort without looking back but she was stupid, arrogant and now she was paying for it ten-fold.

Everything was running away from her and she felt control slipping from her grasp. The situation had finally caught up to her. How did she have any hope of returning home when the simple thought that Remus might not love her sent her into a crippling despair? How would she cope when she was back with Harry and Ron and would sometimes see Remus and he would not recognize her?

The hole that had appeared in Hermione's chest in the last few minutes grew a little bigger.

She sniffed pitifully but shook her head and stood as straight as she could. There was no use disintegrating into a useless heap, what was done had been done and Hermione had made her choice. She loved Remus, that was clear now, and she couldn't take it back and she refused to apologize for it. Maybe another girl would crumble into a weak, pathetic lump but Hermione refused.

That didn't mean she wasn't hurting.

Hermione wrapped her arms around her chest as if holding her rib cage together and shuffled to Gryffindor Tower after she'd dressed and dried her hair. All the while trying to hold herself up and straighten up but her chest ached.

She was a little disgusted with herself.

_Did you honestly think someone as intelligent, handsome and kind as Remus would ever want you?_

With each self-loathing comment her stupid brain made Hermione's heart cracked over and over again.

_Stupid stupid girl. Who would ever want_ you_?_

Hermione shook herself and tried to clear these thoughts away. They weren't helpful or true but it didn't really matter did it? Nothing seemed to be working.

Before she even realized she'd reached the portrait of the Fat Lady she'd grumbled the password and hoped she could make it to her dorm to take a nice long nap. Maybe Lily and Alice would leave her alone and she could sleep for a hundred years. Then all her problems would just go away. She slowly made her way down the tunnel to the Common Room.

"There you are!"

Hermione jumped as Sirius and Remus suddenly came into her field of vision, both with twin glares of irritation and worry. At the same moment their arms folded over their chests and they raised their eyebrows at her.

"Well?" They said together.

If she wasn't so miserable Hermione might have found their unity funny. But the horrible revelation only a few minutes ago was making her head spin and she felt closer to being sick on the common room floor than laughing.

"Remus. Sirius." She acknowledged their glares and tried to step around them. She couldn't face Remus right now. Maybe when she'd thought about what had happened in the bath and could find a way to deal with her breaking heart she could face him but not right now. But Remus grabbed her upper arm, forcing her to stop and look at him. Instead she studied a distant point over his shoulder and concentrated on not crying.

Immediately, Remus could see something was very very very wrong. Hermione's eyes, usually so full of life, were as blank as slate and she couldn't even meet his steady gaze. His heart pounded in worry and he searched her expressionless face for some kind of hint for why she was acting like a zombie.

She blinked a little more than normal and her eyes were becoming slightly shiny so he knew she was holding back tears. "Who's hurt you?" He snarled. The dark tone of his voice surprised himself and he felt guilt at Hermione's flinch.

"No one-"

"Remus?"

Remus had completely forgotten Sirius' presence and he quickly stepped away from Hermione. But he was so angry he could barely think. If someone had dared touch her he was going to rip their throats out. Remus' chest heaved up and down as his breathing became erratic and his normally bright blue eyes changed to a dark, threatening amber.

Sirius stepped past Remus and gently rubbed Hermione's arm. "What's wrong love? We were so worried when you just disappeared on us. You completely skived off Charms. " Sirius' thumb was still rubbing the inside of her bicep and Remus had the insane desire to break his friend's thumb. Already his emotions were running high because of his worry for Hermione and he could feel the wolf tearing away at his carefully built cage, jealousy raging in its yellow eyes and hate for whoever had hurt her in each snarl. If he didn't calm down he could completely loose himself.

He took deep, even breaths, scared that at any moment he would lose control and would destroy the Gryffindor Common Room or, God-forbid, hurt Hermione or Sirius. He was so worried about calming himself down he missed Sirius urgent whispers to Hermione.

"Remus has been in an uproar since you went missing Hermione, what's happened? Why did you run off like that?"

Hermione couldn't answer the concerned, grey eyed boy and searched for a way to get around speaking to either of them. For one minute she considered just ignoring them and running for the girl's dorms but she knew Remus was faster and would want to know why she was so desperate to get away from him.

Hermione swallowed thickly. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Remus finally said. His voice was much calmer and he was proud that the harsh tone was almost completely gone. Already he could feel the wolf shuffling to the corner of its cage and growling under its breath but still retreating.

"Remus please." She hissed so that Sirius could not hear and Remus' was completely perplexed. Then she tried to brush past him but he gently grasped her arm and began tugging her toward the portrait hole.

"Hey!" Sirius shouted and tried to follow but Remus sent him a warning look that shocked him enough to stop him.

"I need to speak with you." Remus said urgently.

She nodded mutely, reveling in the soft tones of his voice and the feel of his fingers on her skin. He pulled her through the portrait hole and to the left. The moment no one was in sight his warm hand slipped into hers and Hermione had to bite her lip to stop any tears. The first door they came to revealed a broom closet. Remus hesitated but Hermione squeezed his large, warm, perfect hand harder before pulling him inside.

The door shut with a click and they were immediately plunged into darkness.

"_Lumos_." Remus had drawn his yew wand and the light cast his features in frightening shadows. She was unexplainably scared by the imminent conversation, Remus did not love her, maybe he thought he did which was worse. But he the truth was that he didn't and it was only in the past few minutes that she loved him more than ever and she could not be angry with him for lying, no matter how hard she tried. Hermione relied on logic and based on everything she knew, Remus was not in love. But a small part of her hoped that she was wrong.

"Sweetheart?" He whispered, not noticing Hermione's cringe of agony at the simple word.

"What's wrong?" Remus' look of concern was too much and she fell back against the closet wall. Gods he was brilliant, his light of kindness and concern for her was blinding and she to look away. "Hermione?"

Didn't he see that his kind nature was only killing her faster? How did a buck-toothed, bushy haired, know-it-all end up with someone so perfect? Although, she might be slightly biased.

Gently, Remus reached out and slid his patient fingers through her unruly waves. "You are scaring me." He whispered in a strained voice.

She refused to cry.

But she could feel her eyelids throbbing and she sniffed a little.

"W-what would you do if I was lying to you?" She choked out. Hermione was surprised that she had been able to speak at all but now the question was out there anyway.

Remus' heart dropped and his grip on her hands tightened unconsciously. It took him a minute to find, what he hoped, were the right words. Little did he know they were almost too perfect. "Hermione, I have been perfectly honest with you since day one." Remus knelt and overturned two mop buckets. He sat in one and pulled Hermione down on the other. Then he set his lit wand down on the floor so they could see at least a little. They were so close his knees were on either side of her legs and even though she was cramped she felt warm and comfortable. "you're the first person I've _never_ had to lie to. You already knew about my biggest secret remember?" He smiled sheepishly and Hermione caught herself smiling a little in return. "I lie all day, everyday to my friends and perfect strangers, knowing that if they knew the truth they'd hate me." Remus' eyes watered and he quickly cleared his throat. "But you… you Hermione have accepted me and even…" Here he paused and Hermione realized that during his speech she had been slowly inching toward him, hating him for lying and at the same time everything he said filled her with hope and warmth. "You even want to… to be with me… " He traced her jaw line and Hermione shivered. "How could I ever lie to you? And I would hope you would be comfortable enough to know you can be equally honest with me." He finished.

There was a long silence as Hermione absorbed his words and considered.

"But the future…" She said weakly.

Remus slumped and let out a breathy laugh. "Oh Gods, Hermione, I thought you were going to leave me!" He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a tight hug. "I understand there are some things you can never tell me."

"You don't understand – !" Remus shushed her with a quick kiss.

Despite her trepidation, Hermione's body betrayed her as Remus' fingers wound themselves in the loops of her jeans and pulled her closer. Her back arched closer to him. He let go of her waist with one hand and fisted it in her hair. He pulled away after a moment but kept a firm grip on her hair. They stared in each other's eyes for maybe three seconds but Hermione felt as if it had been years. There had been love in those blue eyes of his, it couldn't be anything else but she still could not shake the logic that had always helped her. Logic had saved her from the basilisk in second year, in third she'd saved Sirius with logic and now logic was telling her Remus didn't love her as much as he said he did.

But she had _seen_ it.

It took a few seconds for her to calm down enough to quiet the blood pounding in her ears to hear Remus murmuring into her neck. "You probably won't believe me but you should know that I _need _you. I couldn't hide something from you even if I wanted to."

Hermione's stomach dropped to her toes.

"If this is about me trying to leave I know that was dumb and I'm sorry okay? I promise it'll never happen again."

Hermione was unsure if it was his tight grip on her or her guilt that was suffocating her. She couldn't breathe and a black fog was tunneling her vision.

Maybe he hadn't been lying to her… but she sure as hell had lied to him.

Who would lose their memories of her and forget the most wonderful few months of her life? Remus. Who was engaged to another woman in 1997? Remus. She was a hypocrite for not letting him leave Hogwarts when she could leave for 1997 at any time. She would go, and he wouldn't remember anything about her or know about what was going to happen to him because _she_ was the liar.

Hermione's nose was buried in the crook of his neck and she in deep breaths to smell the familiar smell of the woods and chocolate that always clung to him. She was clinging to him so tightly her knuckles were white and shaking.

All her thoughts were wiped from her mind though when Remus pulled away and she looked up at him. His eyes were flashing gold again and it was even more startling in the half light. He moved toward her and gently ran his mouth up and down her neck. Then his mouth moved up from her neck to her lips.

Hermione moaned into Remus soft kiss which forced him to use all his self control to not slam her harder into the wall. He concentrated instead on the way her back was slowing arching into him, closing the distance between their bodies until her soft breast brushed his chest.

Remus sighed as he pulled away and laid his sweating forehead on her collarbone. He couldn't do this. Everything she did was so goddamn sexy there was no way he could control his howling, furious, wolf soul, which was currently cursing him for letting Hermione's pounding heart return to a normal pace.

"Remus? What's wrong?" Her hand gently moved from his shoulder to comb through his short hair. She played with a few strands until he finally answered.

"I think we might be- er- going too fast." He muttered. He touched her wrist and pulled away from her, her hands drove him crazy.

"Oh." Hermione whispered and blushed as what he was saying dawned on her. "I-um- okay then."

"Not that I don't like what we were doing!" He said hastily.

"Oh no, that is to say, I liked it too." She blushed even darker and Remus cleared his throat.

"Okay then."

"Okay."

Then she pounced on him and their kiss was even more feverish than before, her hands frantically running through his hair and his hands digging into her hips. This continued until Remus could feel his inner wolf howling appreciatively and egging him on. Whenever _he_ thought something was a good idea, it was probably a good time to stop, with a frustrated sigh Remus jerked back and held Hermione's shoulders so she wouldn't attack him again.

"Seriously, we need to stop."

Hermione nodded but her eyes were hooded and Remus ignored the fact that she was staring at his mouth. He was forcing himself to stare at her dark brown eyes rather than her pouty, very bruised, very sexy lips. "Right. Whatever you say."

Remus growled and shook with the effort of not ending their sexual frustration, but it was too soon, much too soon. "Hermione, are you listening to me?"He stepped away from her, hoping to get some of their senses back.

Hermione blinked several times until she seemed to regain her senses and she nodded. "You're right." She stood and gently pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. This small display of affection left him shuddering and his stupid, traitorous, heart pounding wildly out of control. Godric how did this girl manage to send him over the edge with a bloody _kiss on the cheek? _

"Remus! Hermione!"

The couple tried to jump apart but the closet was too tiny and they're ruffled clothes and hair would give them away anyway.

The door swung open so quickly they were blinded by the sudden light.

"There you – " James stood just outside of the door and was staring down at them in surprise.

There was complete awkward silence as the three teenagers stood around gapping at each other.

Remus recovered first and stood up from the bucket. "Hermione's feeling better."

James raised an eyebrow and took in Hermione's more insane than usual hair and Remus' wrinkled shirt. "I'd say." James laughed and clapped Remus on the shoulder. "I knew you had it in you! I was wondering when you'd both get brains and just snog each other already."

"What!" Hermione shrieked, terribly embarrassed they'd been caught. One second she'd been upset and then he was kissing her and she'd gone crazy or something. She had no bloody clue why she'd attacked him but she was quite embarrassed enough as it was without James coming in and saying he'd knew it all along!

"You guys have been making eyes at each other for months." James rolled his eyes. "You're both stubborn."

"N-no we – " Remus said weakly. "Hermione was upset and I – "

"Oh give it a rest will you." James punched Remus' arm. "I think it's brilliant."

O

O

O

One week later:

Hermione sighed as she dropped into an empty seat at the Gryffindor table. She was one of the few Gryffindors to even bother with breakfast after yesterday.

"Never knew you Griffs were such poor losers."

"Hello Doriana."

The blonde sat gingerly in the seat across from Hermione and glanced leisurely around at the three or four other Gryffindors.

"Actually that's not true." She snorted. "I had a feeling this would happen based on the Marauders reaction yesterday. Simply pathetic." She muttered as she reached for a piece of toast.

Hermione silently agreed but she wasn't about to give Doriana the satisfaction. It'd surprised nearly everyone when the Gryffindors lost. They'd looked fine for the first half, making a steady number of goals and the Slytherins seemed to be off their game. Hermione had been a little stunned by the intensity of the game, as if their life depended on it. She suspected part of the energy had come from the obvious hostilities between Sirius and his own brother. There'd been one or two close calls where Sirius would swoop too close and try to knock his brother off his broom. Not that Regulus was innocent, Hermione had only been able to watch in horror as the little cheat sent a hex that was meant to knock an unsuspecting Sirius from his broom and had only barely been missed. Regulus had gotten his revenge though later when the tides had turned and Regulus caught the snitch before the Gryffindor seeker noticed he'd even seen it. Hermione had seen how red James face was as he stormed and raved off to the locker rooms. From up so high Hermione could barely see Sirius' reaction but he'd been stiff as he walked to follow James. His face had a strange dead look but this wasn't unusual as all the Gryffindor team had looked a bit shell shocked.

Regulus on the other hand had been glowing and Hermione could've sworn he smiled. Nearly every Slytherin had stormed onto the field to congratulate the boasting, winning team and a sea of gold and red had left the pitch in a huff.

Hermione realized she had yet to answer Doriana and she blushed as she finally spoke. "It doesn't look like Remus will come down today Doriana." But she did not move away like Hermione expected so Hermione watched Doriana warily.

"I figured." Doriana spread butter thinly over her toast and did not meet Hermione gaze.

Hermione shrugged and returned to her pancakes. If she was not mistaken… it looked like she'd made a somewhat unwanted friend.

"Well… Christmas break is in a few days…" Doriana tried to continue the conversation and Hermione sighed.

"Yes well… I'll be staying here." Hermione said finally and poured a few more sugars in her oatmeal.

"Really?" Doriana said, honestly surprised but she quickly covered it by sipping pumpkin juice. "Sirius said something about you going to the Potter's."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "As is I'd go home with that lunatic."

Doriana flinched and guiltily stared at the slices of bacon. She wanted to own up to egging Sirius on about that, honestly she did but… she was still a little selfish. And who would seriously want to face the wrath of Hermione Granger? "He wouldn't dare try anything-" Then she thought better of that answer.

O

O

O

"That little- little-"

"Hippogriff turd?" James sighed. He was currently cleaning his robes and doing a poor job in his agitated state.

"Good one." Peter laughed.

Sirius grimaced as he paced the room incessantly. "No, there's got to be something worse than that and when I figure it out I'm going to bury his nose in it and then strangle him. I swear I will." Sirius pounded his pillow in frustration. Finally he could take it no longer and he stood. Sirius took several steps away before spinning and sending a Reducto curse at the poor pillow and exploding it into smithereens. "They cheated. That's it!" Sirius shouted.

"Merlin!" Peter shouted as he ducked out of the way of exploding pillows. "You coulda killed me you fucking maniac!"

"Who are you talking about again?" Remus asked reasonably. Honestly he was a bit tired of Sirius, James and Peter moping since they'd lost yesterday and they had been repeating the same conversation for several hours.

"Regulus! Argh!" Sirius snarled and tried to kick his bed stand and was rewarded with a throbbing toe and perfectly fine piece of furniture. "I bet those Slytherins hexed our brooms or something."

There was silence for a few minutes as they considered it.

"Maybe… maybe we just lost." Peter said quietly. No one spoke.

"Maybe." Sirius slumped onto his bed, finally worn out from destroying random furnishings round the room for the past three hours.

"I'm hungry." Remus said hopefully. Maybe the moping was over and they'd finally get out of this room. They were all so dramatic, it was just _quidditch_.

"I'm too tired to go out." Sirius whined and reached for his no longer living pillow. Regretting his hasty actions he glared at Remus. "Gemino your pillow."

Remus rolled his eyes but did create a second pillow for Sirius.

Sirius ignored the proffered pillow though and stared out the window for a few moments, unmoving.

"Uh…mate?" James threw a robe at Sirius' head but the boy seemed to be completely transfixed by something outside.

"What d'ya see?" Peter leapt to his feet and stared out the window eagerly but the only thing he could see was the same old Quidditch pitch.

Sirius came out of his trance. "BRILLIANT!" He shouted and began leaping over beds to get to the door.

"Wait just a minute! What's brilliant?" James and Remus shouted together and managed to grab the scruff of Sirius' neck.

"I have an idea! A brilliant, wonderful, perfect idea!"

"Better run that idea by us first mate." Remus chuckled.

"You wouldn't want people thinking you're mad would you?"

"Mad? Mad? Who's mad? No this is brilliant!" Sirius' flailed his arms a bit before realizing Remus and James weren't letting him go and he made a conscious effort to get away. "Bugger off!"

"Now, now we're only trying to help you mate!" James said with a silly grin. Remus and Peter laughed at Sirius' furious expression.

"Oh alright but you're all arseholes." Sirius growled. He seemed to accept defeat for a moment before quickly changing into a great black dog and slipping through his friend's fingers. They laughed and shouted after him as Sirius slipped out the propped open door and changed back into a boy on the staircase.

O

O

O

Lily was the second person to ask Hermione that dratted question, in the same day.

"So what are you doing for the holidays?" She asked Hermione innocently as they walked from the library to the Common Room.

"Oh um…" Hermione shifted her books around before shrugging. "Well my parents they um… Well I'm staying here actually." She said as lamely as possible.

Lily stopped in the middle of the hallway and Hermione had to backtrack.

"For Christmas? You'll be alone for Christmas?" Lily said in disbelief and Hermione glared at the few first years that had dared to stop and stare at them.

"Oh quit being so dramatic. It happens all the time." Hermione huffed and grabbed Lily's elbow to get her moving again.

"Not to my friends it doesn't!" Lily snapped and pulled away from Hermione. "You're coming home with me then."

"I – What?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"You heard me!" Lily sniffed.

"But I – I can't Lily."

"Well you won't be here alone and I'll drop dead before you go home with Sirius like he keeps telling everyone."

"Is that why you asked what I was doing for Christmas, you were wondering if I was really going home with James and Sirius?" Hermione smiled. She was quite happy that Lily had offered but there was no way she could accept. Lily was already too interested in Hermione's family situation, if the things Remus had been telling her were any indication. Apparently Lily had taken to asking the Marauders what they knew about Hermione's family.

"No!" Lily protested. But then blushed. "Oh alright. I was just wondering and I swear it was all Alice's idea to ask you!"

Hermione laughed. "I won't go home with anyone Lily. I'll just stay here alright?"

"Fine." Lily said and then Hermione realized they had been arguing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady for several minutes.

"If you two are quite finished with your little spat." The pink dressed woman puffed herself up and Lily laughed into her hand as an embarrassed Hermione gave the portrait the password.

Both girls slipped past the still irate Fat Lady and stumbled into a crowded Common Room.

"Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, this will only be one night and one night only!" Sirius shouted over everyone's heads. He seemed to be standing on a table and although James, Remus and Peter were trying to coax him down it was only between sniggers.

Hermione, quick as ever, pushed through the crowd until she standing beneath Sirius. "And what exactly, will one night only Sirius?"

There were a few laughs from the crowd but to his credit, Sirius did not lose his smile. Instead he reached down and grabbed Hermione's hand to pull her on top of the table with him.

"Why Hermione!" Sirius kissed her hand lightly before she could snatch it away. "The Marauders are going to throw a little party. Nothing too out of the ordinary." Sirius shrugged but his grin was very mischievous.

"Uh huh. " Hermione frowned. "But you lost the Quidditch match or had you forgotten?"

Sirius grabbed his heart as if Hermione had actually wounded him and one or two people booed. "Love! You know just where to kick a man when he's down."

"Right."

"This party will be different, sort of a…" He paused to think, "just a little thing to raise spirits and end-the-year-right kind of party." He swung his arm around Hermione's shoulders eagerly.

"Whatever you want Sirius." There was a cheer and Hermione smirked, she had him. "It just can't be in here."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Sirius grinned wider and Hermione froze. She'd been sure they'd been planning on doing some mad, loud party in the Common Room again but when Sirius was grinning like _that…_

"You hear that lads?" Sirius raised an imaginary glass. "We have permission!" There was another cheer and Hermione's jaw dropped. She looked at Remus for support but he didn't seem to want to meet her gaze.

_Wimp._

She caught James' eye. He only looked pointedly between her and Remus and gave her an exaggerated wink. He'd been doing this constantly since discovering them in the closet and she was growing quite annoyed with him.

Hermione gave up and hopped down from the table. "We'll see you there then?" Sirius grabbed her shoulder and Hermione brushed him off.

"Where exactly is this party supposed to be?"

Sirius grinned as if she had told him a great secret. "The Quidditch Pitch, obviously. We can't very well have it in here."

"THE QUIDDITCH PITCH? ARE YOU MAD!"

O

O

O

After Sirius' speech and Lily managed to stop Hermione from beating him upside the head, Hermione and Lily headed to their dorm.

"Are they always pulling stuff like this?" Hermione complained.

Lily's laugh was light as she replied good-naturedly. "They actually haven't been as bad this year as they have in the past." Lily frowned as she opened the door to their room. "Funny… I hadn't really noticed since you pointed it out." Lily paused before making her way to her trunk.

Hermione rolled her eyes and slumped onto her bed. She hadn't been in the best of moods for the past week. She was forcing herself to be mad at Remus and it was growing increasingly difficult. Some days she wondered why she bothered, clearly he had no idea why she was causing the problems in their relationship or that she was doing it on purpose and it didn't make her feel any better. _I wish I wasn't from the future. Then I wouldn't have to lie to him and we could have a normal relationship._ She was shocked by this thought and quickly sat up.

Now that she wasn't lost in thought she could see Lily pulling shirt after shirt from her trunk.

"Er… Lily? What exactly are you doing?"

"Oh um…" Lily looked down at the purple shirt in her hands before tossing it on the bed. "I'm just… getting ready?" She said the last part as a question and reached in the trunk for a light green shirt.

"For what?"

"Honestly Hermione!" Lily snapped and slammed her trunk shut. Hermione jumped at the loud click. "To go to the party!" With furious jerks Lily began undressing and putting on the green shirt. "I'm not going to sit in here until Christmas break!"

Hermione sighed. "Right." She also stood and went to her trunk. It had a few shirts in it that she'd been able to buy on multiple trips to Hogsmeade but not much.

"And what are you doing?" Lily sniffed over her shoulder as Hermione shifted through the clothes in her trunk.

"Well I can't let you go alone." Hermione pondered a yellow shirt which Lily stomped over to snatch out of her hands.

"You're not going in that!" Then Lily went back to her clothes and dug around looking for something for Hermione.

Hermione glared at Lily, then, when she could not contain it anymore, she laughed. "Oh face it… We're just going for those idiots."

Lily paused before smiling. "I'll never tell."

O

O

O

Remus slung back another firewhiskey and ignored the growing pounding of his head and the swaying of the crowd around him. He'd had enough of trying to always stay in control, of his grades, the growing rift between Hermione and himself and always, always, always, his caged inner-wolf that would ram and claw at his defenses daily. With each drink he could feel the wolf growing more impatient and the bars of its cage disintegrating.

"Remus!" A pissed Sirius fell into his shoulder and Remus had to reel back so he didn't give into the impulse to strike his friend. "I've been looking for ya' everywhere mate! Bloody hell why haven't we done this recently?" Sirius lifted his half-full drink to demonstrate and crashed into the drink table which jumped. Sirius laughed and regained some of his balance. "Damn legs are giving out on me!"

Remus chuckled and slung his arm round Sirius' shoulders. "You need a chair, or better yet, a Sobering Potion."

Despite his intoxication, Sirius shoved Remus away and punched the werewolf's arm. "You're such a party pooper! Merlin Remus drink some more. Lighten up."

_I was trying to until you showed up._ Remus thought bitterly but stopped trying to grab Sirius' arm. "Alright I give up taking care of you. You'll do what you want anyway."

"Exactly!" Sirius knocked into another student who was so pissed he barely noticed. "You can't control the will of others mate."

Remus paused and stared at Sirius. "That sounded almost enlightened Sirius." He said with a laugh.

"Bloody-har-har." Sirius rolled his eyes. "You guys always seem to forget I'm the brains of this group of ours."

Remus snorted. "Sure Padsy."

"I really hate it when you call me that."

"I know."

Sirius lunged for Remus who laughed as he side stepped. Sirius continued to fall forwards and landed on an irate Marlene, who'd been unlucky enough to be standing right behind Remus.

"Sirius! Get off me, you piss drunk lunatic!"

Sirius chuckled and slowly removed himself from the ground. He helped the furious witch up who stomped off without a word.

"Nice." Remus taunted.

"Shut it Moony."

"You've really lost your touch." Remus patted Sirius' shoulder. "You're about as smooth as… a werewolf on full moon." Remus winked and slapped Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius growled and glared up at his taller friend. "Just because of one girl my entire reputation is destroyed!" He moaned.

"So you've given up then?"

Sirius sighed. "Yep. Hermione Granger is a lost cause." The dark haired boy looked around the party for a head of bushy hair but couldn't spot her.

"She's over there." Remus supplied and pointed out a completely sober Hermione next to James. He'd been keeping tabs on her all night and he knew she hadn't really talked to anyone since arriving almost an hour ago.

"Typical."Sirius gestured at the conversing Hermione and James. "Why she'll snog _him_ is beyond me. I barely peck her on the-"

"What did you say?"

"I said I barely pecked her on the-"

"No- no you idiot, before that." Remus said impatiently and stepped closer to Sirius until he was towering over him.

"Er- they snogged. Didn't she-"

But Remus had already walked off and was heading toward the arguing James and fuming Hermione.

O

O

O

"Oh James. I've really cocked things up this time." The heels of her hands dug into her eyes and her elbows stabbed her knees. The position was uncomfortable but she deserved less. "I've been so selfish." She sniffed and James rubbed his neck.

"We all get to be a little selfish I guess."

"No. No not like this." Hermione sat up and stared at James with an intense gaze. "You just can't understand how much I've messed everything up."

James raised an eyebrow before grabbing Hermione's shoulder and shaking her gently. "No one can mess _everything _up." He grinned wolfishly. "You can't be that important love, no one is."

Hermione grimaced and shook off his heavy hand. "You think I'm joking don't you!" Her voice was rising in irritation. "Stop joking around and wake up this is really important and you don't even seem to care, no wonder Lily can't stand you!" Then Hermione stood and stomped away from the stunned James.

"Come back here!" The messy haired boy shouted after her retreating back. He had to run to catch up but he managed to catch her before she reached the pitch's exit. "Just because you're mad doesn't mean you get to act like a know-it-all, you- you twat!"

"Excuse me!"

"You heard me. What do you know of Lily's feelings about me? Just because you're from the future doesn't mean you get to boss everyone around and act like you're queen of the bloody parade!"

"How dare-"

"What's this?" Remus' calm voice cut off Hermione's reply and the fighting teens turned to glare at the interruption. When neither supplied an answer Remus glared back. "What's going on?"

"It's not any of your concern." Hermione snapped.

Remus' blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Oh really? Excuse me for caring." He glanced between James and Hermione. "It's quite obvious you want to be _alone._ I didn't really believe Sirius when he told me but I'm beginning to see the truth."

"Are you now?" James snorted. "Really Remus, your molly-coddling is unnecessary and unwanted. Now shove off."

Remus bristled. "Unwanted, am I? By all means, don't let me interrupt your _privacy._"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione crossed her arms defensively.

"Oh don't act like you don't know!" Remus finally shouted and several heads turned toward the growing fight.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Remus." Hermione said impatiently. Remus' eyes had yet to flash amber but she suspected any minute he would lose control and snap at her. She regretted going on the defensive immediately but she was just so angry and she definitely wasn't thinking straight. Hermione took a deep breath to calm down. "

"You and James snogged!"

"What!" Hermione and James shouted together and Remus growled.

"I knew it! You're not even denying it!"

Neither Hermione nor James could speak and they forgot their fight for a moment to stare at each other in horror and at the crowd that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Remus." James said calmly and tried to take a step towards his friend. "That was months ago mate." He said as quietly as he could but some people heard and began whispering amongst themselves.

"You arse!" And Remus jumped James.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all the other characters and settings don't belong to moi. They are JK Rowlings. Good, great, everyone agrees. On with the show!**

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favs!**

**Chapter 20**

1996:

During the night, Harry was struck with a sudden and severe fever. Chills made his entire body spasm even with Remus asleep next to him for warmth. He woke himself from shaking so much but he could not seem to understand his surroundings, Remus' form only a slight comfort in the cloth tent. He was delirious, shapes and flashes of light flashed in his vision and every movement sent a stabbing pain to his temples. He thought of waking Lupin but another chill swept through him, making him forget anything but how cold he was. Sweat dripped down his nose and into his eyes but the thought of even reaching up to brush it away was exhausting. Perhaps he had a cold? His magic protected him from ordinary muggle ailments but perhaps there was a wizard equivalent.

"R- Remus?" Harry's voice startled him with how weak it sounded. He now realized his mouth was dry as sandpaper, his tongue glued to the top of his mouth.

Lupin didn't even stir.

Harry shifted but a wave of pain to his arm made him cry out. Nausea overpowered him and he turned over - only to gag. It felt like days since he'd finished Dudley's bag of chips and the werewolves had yet to bring them a scrap of food.

Shaking, Harry slowly moved the sleeve of his injured arm, curious why he'd felt so much pain. But he'd only caught a glimpse before he collapsed heavily back. His chest heaving with the effort of breathing. His vision was darkening. Black fog drifted in from the corners of the tent to blur the dark ceiling. He was too tired and nauseous to have any last thoughts as he blacked out.

In the morning, Lupin woke painfully slow. The dirt floor was killing his back and destroying any kind of hopes of a pleasant night's sleep. He rubbed his eyes and glanced over and Harry. The boy's chest was moving very quickly considering he was supposed to be asleep and then the werewolf noticed the sheen of sweat covering every bit of Harry's exposed skin. The boy's brow was furrowed, his fingers twitching in restlessness, and his lips blue and shivering. "Harry!" Lupin shifted to place a hand on Harry's slick forehead. The heat was scalding. Remus stared at the sleeping boy a few feet away. He was breathing more shallow by the minute, little puffs of air rising to the roof of the tent. Unable to put it off another second, Remus slowly raised Harry's stiff, injured arm and pulled back the sleeve of his robe. It was even worse than he'd thought. The cut on Harry's arm oozed pus, but worst than that was the thick, spidery veins beneath the skin. They had turned dark, almost black and his entire arm, forearm to shoulder, was swollen. The tips of his fingers were shiny and discolored, suggesting the beginnings of gangrene.

Quickly, Remus jerked the sleeve back down and moved back. His hand covering his mouth as he tried to swallow down the bile that had risen to his throat.

Harry, disturbed from his sleep, shook his head numbly to wipe the disorientation from his head but it did not go away. With blurry eyes he looked around for Remus. "R- Remus?" Although Harry's bright green eyes were turned in his exact direction, they didn't seem to actually be seeing anything. They were red-rimmed and glassy

"I'm here," Remus was stunned by how calm he sounded.

Harry didn't move for a moment, then his eyelids fluttered and he drifted back into unconsciousness.

Remus removed his cloak, the gray one he'd received when he'd entered the Brotherhood and began tearing it into long bandages. Somehow he had to attend to Harry's arm or infection would kill him. Remus had preformed medicinal magic on himself time and time again but to apply the practice to someone else was an entirely different matter. And he had no magic to even help him with that. Damn them, damn them for not taking care of them or even bothering to bring them food or any kind of help at all. Surely Harry was on the brink because of those damn monsters outside.

_No... because of you._ A small voice hissed in the back of his mind.

Remus had ripped apart most of the robe when the tent flap was suddenly shoved aside. Remus was momentarily blinded from the sudden light that poured in from the outside. The first bit of sunshine they'd seen in days. Then Remus leapt to his feet and took a reflexive fighting stance.

"Merlin, calm down would you, you're so jumpy Moony." The flap was dropped and they were all plunged into semi-darkness again.

"Annelise?" Remus could tell by her deep, curt voice who it was immediately. She was tall, almost six feet, and had wild hair that looked as if it'd never seen a comb. She was dark skinned and her humorless smile revealed sharp, yellowed teeth. She would have been pretty if her nose had not been broken several times or if her skin had remained unmarred. But being a werewolf, she had one, thick ropey scar that extended from her left temple to her right cheek. One eye had been blinded by the scar and it was filmed over, the other eye was a sickening yellow that reflected light like a cat's in the darkness.

"I heard _it_ was injured," she said.

"Harry's arm was scratched while he was running," Remus bristled at her referring to Harry as an 'it'. But Annelise was also the pack's only Healer, which meant she'd probably come to help them. Also, he'd noticed a tray with two bowls of thin soup in her arms.

Annelise set the tray on a knee high box and stared at the unconscious Harry. "How long has he been unconscious?"

"Just a moment ago he opened his eyes," Remus trailed off, "Merlin Annelise, his arm, it looks terrible."

Her long legs allowed her to only take two steps to get to Harry and then she was very close to his face, "I can smell it, Remus." Her nostrils flared, "It's infected, let me see it." Remus did not object. Slowly she raised the throbbing arm and thrust up the sleeve. She stared hard at it for a moment before grinning wickedly, "He is lucky, had he been a Muggle he'd be dead. His magic is protecting him from the blood poisoning."

Harry seemed to be waking slightly with all the commotion. "Are you a healer?" he asked faintly. Lupin's heart breaking in the process. There wasn't much he could've done and even with his wand he'd probably have been next too useless but guilt was clawing at his chest. What would Lily and James think if they could see them now. They'd be furious at Remus for not protecting their son! Remus began to pace.

Annelise's laugh was startlingly loud and filled the tent with noise it hadn't seen in days. "Don't be stupid. Werewolves can't be properly licensed," she grinned without humor, "who'd want a monster healing them anyway?" She growled under her breathe, a wand appeared from nowhere and she was gently running it up and down his arm, somehow knowing where to avoid any especially painful areas, "Has he been delirious? Any vomiting? Fever?"

"I hadn't - " But Remus was cut off by her glare.

"You didn't even check?"

"He hadn't said anything. I didn't even see it until a few minutes ago." Remus said defensively but he felt sick. He should've checked damn it, he didn't need her to tell him that. Lily and James voice were shouting at the conscious in his head already for being so stupid.

"I'm surrounded by idiots!" She snarled and began working even faster, and slightly rougher, on Harry's arm.

There was quiet for a few more minutes, Harry wincing every once in a while and Remus deftly wringing his hands in anxiety.

"So what's the escape plan?"

"W-what?"

Annelise rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you intend to hand over the Boy Who Lived to He Who Must Not Be Named? Or do you think it will be easier to escape from Him than a band of unorganized werewolves?"

"Annelise, I - "

"Would you stop interrupting me?" she snapped and Remus bristled but held his tongue. Even though she was the rude, abrasive one it sounded like she wanted to help them and any outside help at this point would've been greatly appreciated.

"Of course."

"Good, because I have a plan," Annelise grinned wickedly again. "You," she pointed at Remus, "you are going to fight Torin."

"I'm WHAT?"

For a moment Harry had been closing his eyes as if about to fall asleep but Remus' shout made his eyes blink open in surprise.

"Quiet!" Annelise glared at Remus' shocked face. As she spoke she grabbed one of the bowls of soup and forced Harry to begin eating it. His expression didn't leave any question as to how terrible it tasted which was saying something since they hadn't eaten in a while. "Yes, you'll challenge Torin for the right to be Chief. You'll fight and win, Moony. Once you become Alpha, you can let this prisoner go." She nudged Harry's thigh with the tip of her boot.

Remus ground his teeth, as she'd spoken he'd begun to realize what she was asking. Werewolf packs were set up strikingly similar to actual wolf packs, a hierarchy of power that allowed certain wolves better privileges and responsibilities. But it was even more complicated with werewolves, they retained many of their human qualities, reasoning, jealousies and bids for power constantly threatened a pack. To be the leader of such a band of miscreants was a death wish, eventually someone would challenge your leadership and werewolf Alphas didn't remain that way for long. Of course, Annelise would take advantage of any upper hand she could get in this never ending quarrel, including using him and Harry. "Why would I want to be Alpha? I want to leave here. I don't want any part of your pack politics, " he said finally.

Annelise smirked, she didn't even seem to mind that Remus had interrupted with a question, "Well once you've released this pup and sent that idiot human away, I'll step in," Annelise cracked her knuckles, "I'll challenge you, win, and then I'll be Alpha."

Remus rubbed his forehead and sat on a few stacked boxes and crossed his long legs at the ankles, "One, how exactly am I supposed to beat Torin and two, why don't you just fight him if you want to be Alpha?"

Annelise chuckled and the hairs on the back of Remus' neck stood on end. "How am I supposed to beat a fully grown male werewolf, half blind, Moony? You have to beat him, then throw the match against me so that I can be leader," at the word 'leader' Annelise licked her lips, " You know I can do it. You know I can whip these idiots into shape. No one will question my leadership if I beat you and they won't want to, Torin's such an idiot they don't know even know what a good leader looks like. But once I'm in charge..." Annelise's eyes had become more fierce and savage by the end, she was breathing raggedly and her fists curled and uncurled.

Remus did not look at her, instead he stared at the tent wall. "You still haven't answered how I'm supposed to beat him."

"Cheat for all I care! Just do it!" Annelise stood and began to pace, snarling and snapping if Remus so much as looked at her.

"And what if they suspect your treason, Annelise? What then?" As much as every member of the pack wanted to be the Alpha, to fail once you'd questioned the leaders authority and challenged them was begging for death. If you failed, your best hope was to be killed on the spot, but if you were already questioning a cruel or unfair leader, then such a reprieve would be unlikely. The Alpha could do most anything to you and all the pack would listen to any order given, no matter what.

Annelise paused, her breathes shallow and her eyes wild, "They won't. You're the one standing up to him and I'll be the one fighting against you. They'll think I'm a martyr. That is, until I win. Then they'll see. Then they'll see." She muttered under breathe again as she picked up her pacing where she'd left off.

"And what if I don't think you can lead them?"

Annelise growled, her nails became longer, like claws. "If you don't do this for me, Moony," her voice was strained and even deeper than before, "I won't treat him," she pointed at Harry, "He'll die if I don't mix him the antidote for Sepsis potion and your precious Wizarding World will be left without their savior!" Remus stopped breathing for a moment which only made Annelise's smile grow wider, "I didn't want to have to resort to this, Remus. But don't think I won't do it."

Remus cracked, his shoulders slumped and his face looked defeated, "Sure Annelise, I'll help you."

Annelise straightened, the picture of semi-sanity once more, "Good, I'll be back in a few hours with your antidote," and she swept out of the tent.

O

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1976:

Hermione avoided Lily's death glare as she fumbled with her trunk. She managed to shove it in place in the over head racks then took some steadying breaths before sitting down across from Lily and prepared for an interrogation.

"Well?" Lily's voice rose in annoyance when Hermione didn't immediately launch into an explanation. "You've been quiet for the last two days but I think Alice and I have been more than patient."

Alice bent over and picked up Lily's cat so her wide grin would be hidden by her hair. Lily could be a bit dramatic when she wasn't in on a secret.

Hermione sighed and removed her robe to give her something to do while she held off the inevitable.

"You might as well tell her," Alice nodded sagely, "Otherwise she'll pry it out of you over the hols."

Lily turned to glare at Alice for a second but eventually turned the spotlight back on Hermione when she finally opened her mouth.

"Alright," Hermione said.

Lily leaned closer to hear better and even Alice paused in her petting of Lily's cat.

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Remus' first swing would've connected solidly with James' nose but James' quidditch skills had given him quite a bit of agility. Prongs ducked at the last possible moment and Remus' fist swung wide just above his head, close enough to rustle some of his messy, dark hair.

"Y- you actually - Remus!" James yelped and barely managed to knock Remus' second punch away. But while James was distracted with his right handed swing, Remus sent the other to his friend's gut. James' oomphed and stumbled back a bit. It hadn't been a particularly hard hit, since Remus had used his left hand but he was still a _werewolf_. "What the hell! What's your problem?"

"That's enough, Remus!" There was no way Remus had not heard Hermione's clear, bossy voice but he did a good job ignoring her.

The only fight Hermione had ever seen or been in, where fists had actually been sent flying is when she'd punched Draco. She'd been running on pure anger at the time so she honestly couldn't remember much of it. Except the sweet satisfying crunch as Draco's nose broke and the swell of pride when he'd run off crying. A swell of pride would still fill her chest by even thinking about it years later.

This was her only thought that could dance across her brain as Remus jumped from a standing position onto his friend. He hadn't drawn his wand. If he had, she might of had a better chance of stopping him, but Remus was running on pure adrenaline and anger and not his usual calm, thoughtful self. This was Remus' wolf taking charge. It was the only thing that made sense. Any other wizard would've snapped out their wand the second it looked like a fight. She had no clue why James was so slow unless he had never expected Remus to attack him and Hermione could not blame him. Who would ever expect Remus to attack _anyone_? Let alone his best friend.

"Stop! Remus stop!" Hermione tried to run forward but Remus had already knocked James flat on his back. She thought of throwing a Protego shield between them but she wasn't sure if she could aim properly enough or if she'd only send them further across the pitch. Instead she tried to grab Remus' arm as he cocked back to actually hit his friend. "Please Remus! Please!"

Remus growled as he tried to get James beneath him so he could hit him properly.

"Merlin's pants!" Sirius seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, just in time to witness the escalating fight.

"Remus! Remus listen!" James gasped but Remus had accidently kneed his stomach when he'd first leapt on him and James' voice was hoarse.

Then James' vision went dark when one of Remus' punches connected. He could see bright lights exploding behind his eyelids but he couldn't pay attention to that because now Remus had pinned him. "You actually hit me!" James yelped. He struggled to get away for a second before finally hitting Remus back. His fist landed somewhere in Remus' side but the wild teen didn't seem to notice. Instead, he growled more.

Sirius hesitated only a second before sprinting forward and tackling Remus. Limbs flew in every direction as the two boys sailed through the air and landed heavily on the ground.

James was lying on his back, his eyes wide in shock and some embarrassment. But it looked as though Sirius had saved him in time, Remus hadn't given him any lasting damage.

Sirius had gotten lucky, landing on Remus' chest, knocking the wind out of him and giving Sirius time to pin his hands. "Calm down!"

"Get off me!"

"No! You've got to calm down!"

Remus struggled and growled under Sirius for a few more minutes but Sirius leaned forward and began speaking to him a more quiet voice. Hermione could not hear what was being said but Remus was calming down at last. When he was completely still Sirius looked up again and grinned at the stunned audience that had gathered on the scene.

"Nothing to see here folks! Just a bit of rough housing, nothing to worry about!"

People were giving skeptical scoffs but eventually they shrugged and moved off one by one until the crowd was dispersed and it was only Remus, James, Sirius, Peter and Hermione. They all sat frozen for a while.

Hermione wanted to say something, anything to overcome the silence but Sirius beat her to it.

Slowly he stood and helped his friend to his feet. He slapped Remus' shoulder and silently handed him a vial of Sobering Potion. "Alright, what's going on?"

No one answered.

"It's sort of... complicated." Hermione said weakly, her cheeks flushing when she realized they were all staring at her.

"Right, got that," Sirius sighed and ran his hand through his long hair. "Well my night's officially ruined so I'm going to - "

"W'at's goin' on 'ere!" A booming voice made everyone freeze.

A wall seemed to step right into her vision. She gasped when she put together the voice and matted hair and large back.

"Hagrid!" Sirius said cheerfully, not a bit bothered that a teacher had just walked in on his party.

Hagrid's head turned and when he finally saw the Marauders he seemed to put two and two together, he shook his head then turned his attention back to the many surprised students around him, "Yeh should be ashamed of yerselves. Get back to yer beds. All a' ya!"

There were a few grumblings but everyone began walking back the castle. "Yer lucky I don't tell Dumbledore 'bout this!" At these words the grumbling ceased and the students picked up their feet. "Oh no." Hagrid lunged forward to grab Sirius and Peter by the scruffs of their necks. "Yeh two is stayin' with me."

Hermione had not moved from her spot, she was frozen as she watched Remus. She couldn't believe how messed up everything had become in the last five minutes. How had he even heard about that stupid, pointless kiss? She certainly hadn't told anyone! But she desperately needed to talk to him. First she'd sort out the feelings that had plagued her this week and then she'd beg on her knees for Remus to take her back. Because now that she could see there was a possibility he wouldn't, she could feel herself dying inside.

_What if he can't stand to look at me after this... Ugh I've been so stupid!_

Remus sighed, "How much trouble are we in this time?"

"Calmed down 'ave yeh? I swears if yeh kids don' stop runnin' round after hours… well one of these days I'll be tellin' Dumbledore, I will!" Hagrid glared around at the torn up field. "Can't yeh find some other place to destroy. I'd thought yeh'd actually grown out of this 'ere stuff. 'Aven't seen yeh 'round. Then you 'ave to go make this mess!"

It was pretty bad. Butterbeer bottles and caps littered the field and the grass was torn up in several places, especially in the spot where James and Remus had had their scuffle.

Sirius had the gall to laugh.

"Yeh start clearin' this 'ere mess Sirius Black! I won' be pickin' up aft- Who's this?" Hagrid had finally spotted Hermione standing next to chuckling Sirius, "Aven't seen yeh 'round before. 'Course with the number of kids yeh can't ex'pect meh to remem'er em all," he said with a grin.

Hermione smiled and offered Hagrid her hand. "Hermione Granger." _Another name to add to Dumbledore's list._ She said to herself.

"Rubeus 'agrid. Keeper of Keys an' Grounds here at 'ogwarts." He said proudly. His huge hand wrapped around her forearm and he shook her as gently as he could. "Now w'at's a nice girl like yeh 'angin' wit' these 'ere 'ooligans fer?"

Hermione laughed, "I honestly have no clue."

"Do yeh know why they was fightin'?"

"Well..." Hermione looked around at a beaming Sirius and Peter, Remus till refused to meet her eye which was disturbing, what he must think of her. But she couldn't blame him, she didn't even understand where her brain had run off to when she'd kissed James. But she couldn't bear to have Remus be mad at her. She needed to speak with him as soon as possible but not with Hagrid, Sirius and Peter as an audience. James should probably join the conversation too. "Um. James?" Hermione looked around frantically. She didn't notice Remus stiffen. But she spotted him on the far side of the field. There was James and… Lily?

Lily was fussing over the ruffled James, but the messy haired boy was hardly bothered if the half bemused, half blissful look on his face was anything to go by.

"Oi! Beating him up might've been a blessing in disguise!" Sirius laughed when he also saw James. "Look at Lily hanging all over him!" Hermione tried to give Sirius a small smile to show him she also found it amusing but she could not look away from Remus. He arms were crossed protectively over his chest and his stance matched his uncharacteristic scowl.

Hagrid turned away from Lily and James and pointed at Sirius, Remus and Peter. "Yes, well. You better believe yeh'll be helpin' me in the Forest when yeh lot get back from yer 'olidays." Hagrid immediately drew Sirius and Peter's attention, both boys began shouting and arguing.

"That's not fair- !"

"It was all Sirius' idea!"

At Wormtail's outburst Sirius scoffed and turned from Hagrid to Peter. "You weren't exactly fighting me all the way here Wormtail!"

"Well I ain't goin' in that forest again! The last time you got us in trouble with Hagrid and we had detention in there, remember that? Well _I_ remember those bloody Henbane plants! I had that rash for weeks Padfoot! Weeks! And I ain't goin' back in there, you can't make me!"

Remus said nothing.

"Now boys." Hermione scolded. "You didn't actually expect to get away scrape free from this did you? I told you it was a bad idea to- "

"Alright, alright you were right Hermione. Now please, spare us the lecture," Sirius sighed.

Hermione straightened up and looked down her nose at him, furious that he was brushing her off _again_. "Well I _did_ tell you. So you better help Hagrid out with this mess and anything else he tells you to, or I'll go to Dumbledore myself."

Sirius scoffed and sputtered in disbelief that she would even threaten to go to Dumbledore but Hermione turned away from him.

"Thank yeh Hermione," Hagrid stroked his beard. "This lots quite a 'andful, and I really do need some 'elp in the Forest."

"Of course Hagrid."

"Perhaps yeh'd like to come too? " Hagrid beamed at her.

"We'll see," Hermione agreed nervously, considering the last time she'd agreed to help Hagrid in the forest he'd introduced her to his lovely half-brother that was also a giant.

Hagrid, undeterred by Hermione's lack of enthusiasm, had puffed out his chest and was standing a little taller. "There are a few things I'll 'ave yeh do but it's better than lines or cleaning cauldrons or whatever Dumbledore would 'ave yeh do right?"

Peter shrugged and Sirius sighed.

"If that's all I think I'll be heading to the castle. As always it was nice seeing you Hagrid," Remus said formerly. Hermione half expected him to bow but instead he began taking long strides away from them.

"Oh dear." Hermione sighed. "Remus! Oh, please slow down! Remus!" Hermione ran after him but it was quite difficult since he was so much taller. She ran for some time until she was close enough to grab his sleeve. They'd left the pitch far behind and were halfway up the hill to the castle. Her breathe was coming out in short gasps and she considered giving up when Remus suddenly stopped. Hermione couldn't stop her momentum and ran directly between his shoulder blades.

"Oomph!"

Hermione fell back into the wet grass, her legs at awkward angles and her butt sore. Remus immediately reached out to help her up but she was so embarrassed she couldn't raise her head to notice.

Hermione sat awkwardly and didn't move, even as the wet grass began to seep through her robe. "I'm sorry," she blurted.

Remus said nothing as he slowly dropped his hand and crouched down next to her.

"Why do you say that?" he said quietly.

"I should've told you. The reason I didn't was because it honestly wasn't important or significant in any way. And by not telling you, well it makes it seem like James and I have something to hide and that's the furthest thing from the truth. I'd forgotten it'd even happened actually," Hermione trailed off and realized she was babbling, "my point is… I could care less about kissing James but I can understand if you're mad. I mean, if you snogged one of my friends…" Hermione had to stop.

Remus' eyes flicked over her face and she could not imagine what her expression was. But it must have got through because he nodded.

"I would never do that."

"I know! I know but it was before I even liked you and – "

Remus frowned and glared at the grass. "I'm sorry too. I don't know what's wrong with me lately," he struggled for words and Hermione waited, scared for some reason, "it's like I'm angry all the time. Everything upsets me and then I overreact. I- I actually hit my best friend." Remus' eyes widened.

"But you were drunk," Hermione tried to console him.

"Does it matter?" He snarled. "Why was I even drinking? I never drink. It irritates my… condition. But I drank anyway." Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why would I –," he said again.

Hermione looked away from his pained expression. Remus shifted a bit before he grabbed Hermione's hands and pulled her up with him, then Remus turned away from her.

Remus was rubbing his neck and Hermione could see the stiffness in his shoulders. What had happened? Everything had been going so well only a few days ago but now - Well now Remus hated her. How could he not?

His next words stunned her. "Hermione, I think it's not really working with us. To be honest I think I'd rather not be with you and only see the good things between us, than," he paused and Hermione realized she was holding her breathe, "well, than _have_ you and be fighting all the time... I can't afford to have you hate me... So maybe we should just…"

He seemed unable to finish and Hermione was grateful because she had a terrible feeling about what he wanted to say next. Hermione stood awkwardly behind him, staring at his rigid shoulder blades and she wanted to smack him so he'd at least turn and look at her. "Remus, I – I could never hate you," She paused. Any excuse would just appear weak, but she wanted him to forgive her, she needed him to. "I- I know that you're angry but please look at me!"

Slowly he turned until she could see half his face.

"Remus, I don't believe you."

Remus' eyebrows shot up and his mouth dropped open for a second before snapping shut. "W-what?"

"If you need some space for a while I can understand and even respect it. I messed up and the mature thing to do is to back off for a while," Hermione wanted to cry, to rant and rave and give him a billion reasons why he shouldn't just give up after this but if he really was upset, then acting like everything was fine would make things worse later and she couldn't bear the thought of things ending like this, because of something she had done. So she swallowed and continued. "We're not giving up, I refuse to. But if you need a break for a while I- I'll manage."

Remus' stunned look had vanished and he'd blinked through several emotions during her speech but he finally settled on a skeptical and slightly hurt look. "You're serious?"

"I can't say much to convince you to forgive me just like that, since you're right, I should have told you. So I'll give you your space and I'll love you from whatever distance you put between us. From a f-far" She was wavering. She held back a sniffle and played with the wand in her robe pocket out of habit. His silence was scaring her a bit. Maybe she'd done the wrong thing? Should she have fought harder? Actually yelled and stomped her feet until he relented. But that seemed so wrong. The uncertainty was daunting and scared her.

Remus had settled on looking at his feet and the quiet between them was horrible. It was almost a relief when he opened his mouth to break the quiet, "I'll see you next term alright?"

And before she could protest he was gone.

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Classes were over and the time when everyone would be heading home for holidays was only a day away.

Now that Remus wasn't around to distract her, Hermione noticed for the first time that the castle was decorated for Christmas and was as beautiful as she'd ever seen it. The giant Christmas trees in the Great Hall were sparkling with bright glass ornaments and green wreaths seemed to be hangings from ever fixture and doorway imaginable.

James tried one desperate attempt to corner Lily with a sprig of mistletoe and was rewarded with a slap. Normally Hermione would have given him a friendly hug or some kind of encouragement to make him feel better but given the circumstances she decided against it.

After that night Remus had not spoken to her at all. But sometimes she would feel someone staring at the back of her head and when she'd turn to see who, Remus would be standing there admiring some moving portrait or hastily stuffing his nose in a book. He must've been surprised by her reaction to what she suspected was him trying to break up. And the way they were acting certainly seemed like they'd never speak again. A lump jumped to her throat but Hermione shook it off with thoughts of how much worse things would be if she'd thrown a fit.

_Eventually he'll come back. He will. He will_. She thought to herself over and over.

Lily finally cornered her, the night before they were all meant to go home.

"I've already taken care of everything, we just need to get you packed."

"Packed for what exactly?"

Lily grabbed her arm and began tugging her up the stairs to their room, "Well I couldn't stand the thought of you staying here all by yourself, so," Lily grinned and Hermione's heart sunk, "I took matters into my own hands." They'd reached their room and Lily immediately began throwing Hermione's clothes in her trunk, studying several jeans and either throwing them in or chucking them over her shoulder. "I spoke with Dumbledore and he agreed that the best thing would be for you to come home with me for Christmas!"

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"And you know the rest, you helped me pack and we're heading to your house for the holidays." Hermione played with her bangs for a minute in anxiety, avoiding Lily's eyes. She'd given her the edited story, leaving out the bits with her and James as much as she could but Lily must have been putting two and two together. She was way too smart to not suspect anything. She was probably regretting inviting Hermione over at this very minute.

"Well that's interesting," Alice said, obviously to fill the void of the awkward silence.

Lily sat for another moment before she stared shouting, her outburst making both girls jump, "I can't believe you and Remus have been having a secret relationship! I mean obviously I thought you liked each other but you've going out for _ages_!"

"Not exactly ages, Lily... And you thought we liked each other?"

"This is totally unacceptable!" Lily ignored Hermione, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation then collapsing against the seat. "No more secrets alright?"

Hermione gulped and couldn't meet Lily's hurt green eyes, "Sure," she lied.

After this, most of the train ride passed in silence until they were almost to the train station.

Their compartment door was suddenly thrown open and in its stood Snape, his breathing heavy.

"S- Sev?"

"Lily, I've brought your Christmas present," he now reached into his pocket as he spoke, chancing a glance down the train as if to make sure no one was watching, "Also, don't worry about giving me a ride, I'm going with Regulus."

Snape finally seemed to notice there were other people in the compartment and his enthusiasm flittered away. His brow creased and a slow sneer was spreading.

"Severus. I really can't - "

"Just take it, alright?" Snape shoved a box under her nose and when she hesitated he dropped it in her lap then turned and slammed the door.

It opened only a second later, "Your welcome." Snape snapped. Then shoved the door closed with more force.

Silence filled the compartment once more.

"What an arse."

"Alice!" But this was the only protest Lily gave as she glared at Snape's present. Eventually she moved it to her suitcase without opening it.

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**You deserve an explanation for the long delay so here it is, well after chapter 19 I kind of lost steam. 19 took me forever to write too, but chapter 20 was torturous for me. Then, my computer broke down and I couldn't write anything at all. So I've been writing long-hand and I've finished the next three chapters and my awesome, amazing computer-nerd brother fixed my baby, Hector (yes, I named my computer Hector XD) but he fixed it and I've just been trying to transfer the pages and pages and pages I've written into Word. Then once my computer was fixed it was time for finals and I was busy studying for that, THEN my Grandpa became sick. He had leukemia so they removed part of his liver, so he doesn't have a good immune system he was moved to a hospitable, anyway we were really worried about him but he's okay now. This obviously really had me worried. So I've been putting this on hold while I got myself together. So now updates will hopefully return to a normalish schedule. We'll see. Love and thanks to you, faithful readers. I promise to finish this story no matter how long it takes, alright? Love and cyber cookies!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all the other characters and settings don't belong to moi. They are JK Rowlings. Good, great, everyone agrees. On with the show!**

**Thanks for the review, favs and alerts you're all supermegafoxyawesomehot!**

**Sorry it's pretty short but necessary.**

**Chapter 21**

Albus Dumbledore, contrary to popular belief, did not know everything. And although his educated guesses had an eerie habit of being true, Dumbledore never would overestimate his own abilities. In other words, he was as humble as any brilliant wizard can afford to be.

But as he traced a curious finger over Hermione's broken Time-Turner he couldn't help but listen to the small voice warning him that something was…._off_ about this particular time traveling device.

There were the obvious things, like the broken glass case that once held the black sand which had been reduced to resilient, razor sharp shards that clung to the dented gold frame.

In contrast, the newly acquired Time-Turner that lay next to Hermione's was flawless. It gleamed impossibly in the dim light and the flowing sand was absolutely fascinating.

But despite its beauty the new Time-Turner could not capture his attention like the broken one because something was so horribly wrong with it. But no matter how long he had studied it Dumbledore had yet to discover what was so erroneous about it.

With a sigh the old man turned to his phoenix familiar. "Perhaps I was wrong."

In answer the phoenix trilled.

"True." The man said. "I'm not wrong often…"

In perfectly disguised frustration Dumbledore reached for a piece of parchment and prepared to write to Ms Granger. Before he could dip his eagle feather quill in the inkwell Fawkes suddenly spread his flame colored wings and jumped into the air above Dumbledore's desk.

The great bird flew around and Dumbledore watched in interest as he flew to Dumbledore's cloak rack and selected his Invisibility Cloak. Dumbledore had had this cloak for many years before he had finally perfected his Disillusionment charm and didn't need it anymore. It was quite useless anyway, Invisibility Cloaks did not last very long and this one was quite old and worn, it no longer made the wearer invisible but only hazy, like seeing someone through a layer of fog. "What's this for Fawkes?"

Fawkes had dropped the Cloak across his desk in such a way that it covered the Time-Turners and as Dumbledore reached to move it, Fawkes trilled softly. Dumbledore paused, his hand hovering over Hermione's Time-Turner. Sometimes Fawkes liked to play this game with him, putting together clues and helping him understand people's motivations and what they might be planning for the future.

"So there is a connection between this Time-Turner and the Cloak?" Fawkes did not answer him which meant he was wrong. But there were other Time-Turners on the desk so that must not be right. It was this specific one…

"Between … Hermione and the Cloak?"

Fawkes soft reply reassured Dumbledore that he was right and he studied the Cloak for a few minutes. Had he ever spoken with Hermione about Invisibility Cloaks? He didn't think so, usually they just talked about her memories and the importance of keeping the future anony-

Then the memory came to him suddenly_. The first time he'd ever had Hermione Granger in his office. The witch with a halo of frizzy hair and trembling lip rambling facts about the future to convince him she was in the wrong time. "Remus is a werewolf. James has an Invisibility Cloak. Sirius left home only this summer."_

When she had been trying to convince him she was from the future she had recited all her current friend's attributes or possessions including James Potter's Invisibility Cloak.

But how would she even know he had an Invisibility Cloak? They only lasted a couple of years and surely by the time she met James in the future he wouldn't tell her about it or even have it. Like his own Cloak, James' would become useless and he would probably throw it away.

Unless…

Dumbledore sat frozen for a few moments staring in wonder at the Cloak.

_It-it can't be. It's impossible!_

There was only one way to be sure.

Dumbledore slowly stood and approached his penseive, he felt as if he was walking through a thick pudding, his legs and arms were so stiff and uncooperative.

_This could be _the_ Cloak… The _Cloak_! _

He looked through Hermione's neatly labeled memories in a daze. It could be any one of them but surely the best time to start was in first year?

'_H&R – The Troll'_

'_H&R – 1__st__ Year Christmas'_

And there were many others. But the beginning would be a good place to start.

With shaking hands Dumbledore reached out and traced the small neat letters.

_I can't… but…_

Dumbledore's hands shook as he tried to resist the temptation to steal Hermione's memories but he was so _close_! Finally he clasped the smooth glass of the tiny vials and dumped the contents in his penseive. He took several calming breaths before slowly lowering his long and broken nose into the swirling mist of Hermione Granger's personal memories.

He landed in a lavatory somewhere in the castle. All he could hear was the soft sobbing of a young girl that could only be Hermione. He wished he could call to her but suddenly the door flung open and her tears stopped short. A hideous troll slowly meandered into the room, his tree trunk feet creating tremors that rattled the mirrors. It had to stoop so it did not hit its round head and it dragged a tree size bludgeon in its wake. When it had entered fully, the door slammed behind it .

Hermione hesitantly glanced around the corner of her stall. She stared in horror up at the twenty foot tall troll for few seconds before shrieking so loudly it could've burst Dumbledore's eardrums.

As fascinating as it would be to see how Hermione escaped, Dumbledore realized that this memory did not include the Cloak and he turned away from the scene and walked through the fog that hung on the edges of the memory.

The clicking of the tile floor disappeared after only a few steps. He felt a little guilty about leaving an eleven year old girl to deal with a fully grown mountain troll but she had obviously lived to tell the tale so there was no point.

Then he could hear soft chattering and the warmth of a fire and a very familiar sense of safety that could only mean the next memory was in the Gryffindor Common Room.

After a few more steps the talking became clear. "Honestly Ronald, Nicolas Flamel is our only clue. What exactly do you expect us to look for?" A very bossy sort of voice echoed through the mist which quickly cleared to reveal three first years sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room. The girl who had spoken had very large and bushy hair with an unfortunate over bite but her eyes sparkled with intelligence and she glaring at a boy sitting across from her.

"But we've looked a thousand times!" A gangly red-haired boy whined. He was obviously a Weasley. "Maybe he doesn't even exist and we're wasting our time."

"Hagrid wouldn't have said his name if he wasn't important Ron." The last boy had spoken in a patient and slow tone. His dark hair and glasses were unmistakable and this boy could only be one person. James Potter's son. The boy looked up from his book and Dumbledore was thrown by his beautiful green eyes that seemed to burn with an inner fire. But the scar on his forehead was equally intriguing, it was shaped like a lightning bolt and was clearly the work of a very dark magic. But what kind of eleven year old boy had a scar from the Dark Arts?

"Yea I guess." The boy they'd called Ronald conceded grudgingly. "But I still say the library is bloody boring."

"Ron!" Hermione scolded.

Before they could continue fighting James' son stepped in. "What'd you get for Christmas Hermione?"

Hermione glared at Ron for a few seconds before turning to the dark haired boy with a small shrug. "Books of course."

"Right." The boy said awkwardly and ignored Ron making fake gagging sounds behind Hermione's back.

"What about you Harry?"

The red head sat up quickly and a smile split his face. "Oh Hermione it's brilliant! Go on Harry, tell her!"

Harry blushed and looked at Ron in surprise before also smiling and jumping. "It'd be better if I showed you!"

"Excellent!" Ron hooted as Harry dashed up the stairs to their dormitory.

He returned after a few minutes and the cloth in his hands made Dumbledore jump to attention. Eagerly he followed behind the boy and stared at the cloth in wonder.

"What's that Harry?"

"It's an Invisibility Cloak!" Ron could not seem to contain his excitement as Harry slowly unfolded the Cloak and prepared to demonstrate its uses to Hermione.

"I've read about those! They're really rare Harry! Who gave it to you?"

"Dunno." Harry shrugged.

"It only came with the Cloak and this note." Ron explained.

Harry nodded and held out a small folded note to Hermione and Dumbledore had to run behind her to read the words eagerly.

_Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well._

_ A Very Merry Christmas to You_

Even though it had no signature Dumbledore could not deny the handwriting, it was clearly his note. But the first sentence was making him pause. 'before he died'? What had happened to James? Lily would have to raise Harry on her own? At least he assumed that was who the boy's mother was and it was pretty obvious anyway because of those eyes. But that wasn't the point. Actually, why wouldn't he just give the Cloak to Lily for her to give to the boy? It just didn't make sense but really he didn't care because Harry was throwing the Cloak around his shoulders.

The true Cloak of Invisibility that had belonged to the Hallows brothers had specific qualities, normal cloaks would lose their ability to hide the wearer but the true Cloak rendered the wearer completely invisible and could never wear out. The only way that Harry's Cloak, which had now made him completely invisible could have lasted all these years would be because it was an especially powerful Cloak and maybe it wasn't a Hallow but he would just have to get a better look at it to make sure.

"That's amazing Harry!"

"Yes and I've already put it to good use. Over Christmas I was able to get into the Restricted Section with it!"

The children were still talking but Dumbledore had seen enough and he left the memory.

Once he had staggered out of the pensieve Dumbledore looked around for Fawkes. "Fawkes," Tears glistened in the old man's eyes as he leapt across the room in joy. "After all these years I believe I've found one." Dumbledore collapsed in his chair. Fawkes did not answer for a few moments but finally his sweet voice filled the office and Dumbledore was able to control his emotions.

Slowly he understood what he had to do. If Hermione had not come to the past, how would he ever have known about James' Invisibility Cloak and she'd told him other things as well, things about Voldemort that would become crucial in his quest to destroy the tyrant.

Oh someone had tampered with her Time-Turner alright.

Dumbledore picked up the broken Time-Turner and looked at it more closely, now that he knew what he was looking for he could find what was 'off' about it immediately.

It was easy to spot the letters etched into one side of the gold frame.

A.P.W.B.D.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Why? Was Hermione's arrival in 1976 so important that he would break every ministry law and risk exposure by putting his name on the evidence!

Dumbledore was dumbfounded. But he couldn't see how he had even gotten a hold of this Time-Turner. The ministry already thought it was suspicious he'd asked for a Time-Turner how exactly was he supposed to ask for a second one to put experimental spells on… unless….

He could… make one.

Dumbledore pocketed both the Time-Turners then stood and went to Fawkes. "Come Fawkes. We must find a way to recreate this Time-Turner. And I believe we have an old friend who'll know how."

_Besides, I have twenty years to change my mind. Once I've copied this ministry Time-Turner, I'll give it to Hermione, she'll go home and I have twenty years to sit on this completely illegal and dangerous copy Time-Turner to decide if I want to send an innocent girl twenty years in the past for the sake of information on Voldemort…._

_And on the Hallows._ A dark voice said in his ear.

_And since she's here… I must have done it. Something must have changed my mind that this isn't the worst possible outcome._

_I would never send one of my own students into such danger if there were other options… right?_


End file.
